Carolina Lee

by Lilian Bell

  CHAPTER VII.

  MORTAL MIND

  Therefore, when the blow fell and Sherman had written her a letter, notdaring to see her, telling her as gently as he could, but with an air offinality which there was no mistaking, that the mortgage on Guildfordhad been bought and foreclosed by Colonel Yancey, and therefore, in hisopinion, it was lost to the Lees for ever, Carolina realized for thefirst time how tenacious had been her hold on the hope of possessing it.In an instant, with her woman's instinct, she saw what it had takenyears for Sherman to discover. Colonel Yancey had, as Carolina found,learned that it was Captain Lee's and Carolina's dearest wish to restoreGuildford. The two men had talked intimately. Both were Southern,although Colonel Yancey was a Georgian, but with the confidence in eachother's integrity, which is typical of most Southern men, and which hasled to the ruin of many an honest man, Captain Lee confided his hopes toColonel Yancey, who profited by them to secure Guildford for himself,and thus gain a hold over Carolina.

  It was so easy to do this, in the most ordinary business manner, withSherman both unsuspicious of him and his sister's love for the place,that at times Colonel Yancey almost had the grace to be ashamed ofhimself.

  Carolina saw the whole vile plot, and the shock and disappointment puther fairly beside herself. She was so sure that she had got at the rootof the matter that she at once disbelieved that part of Sherman's storywhich said that Colonel Yancey was a fugitive from justice. If he hadcheated this syndicate, he had done it in such a manner that it left noillegal entanglements, and she was sure that he was free to return tothis country whenever he chose. If not, her whole theory fell to theground, for she knew that Colonel Yancey would not dare to offer her areputation which the law had power to smirch.

  It never was Carolina's way to wax confidential, but one day Katesurprised her in a particularly desperate mood. Carolina was in herhabit, waiting for her horse to be brought around, and when Kateentered, she was walking up and down the peaceful blue and silverboudoir like an outraged lioness.

  "It's no use, Kate!" she cried, when her friend began to remonstrate."I have come to the end of my rope. You don't know the truth because Ihave been afraid to tell you. You couldn't have understood if I hadtold you. Even if I should sit down now and spend a whole day trying toexplain why I adored Guildford and why I am so upset over its loss, atthe end of the time you would only shake your head and say, 'PoorCarolina,' without in the least understanding me. No one ever didunderstand about Guildford except dear Daddy, and since he died, I'vebeen afraid to let even God know how much I wanted it, because I knew ifHe did, He would take it away from me! He takes everything away from methat I love! That is His way of showing His vaunted kindness. He isindeed a God of vengeance! He punishes His children as no earthlyfather would be mean enough to do. Oh, I won't hush! But the end hascome, Kate, to even God's power to hurt me. I have nothing left for Himto take. Let Him be satisfied with His revenge. I wouldn't care if Hetook my life now, so He is practically powerless! He has reached Hislimit!"

  "Oh, Carolina!" almost screamed Kate. "Do be careful how you blaspheme!Goodness knows I am not religious, but I am a member of the Church and Iam not wicked!"

  "You have never suffered, Kate, or you could bear, not only to hear, butto say worse things than I am saying. If you only knew how much worsemy thoughts are!"

  "But you will be punished for them, Carolina! I--I don't like to preach,but God always sends afflictions to those who defy Him!"

  "I wouldn't care if He killed me!" cried Carolina, furiously. "I havenothing left to live for. I hope I shall never come back alive from thisride!"

  When she had rushed from the room, leaving that terrible wish in Kate'smemory, Kate shivered with apprehensions.

  "Something awful will happen to Carolina!" she muttered. "I never knewit to fail!" But her eyes filled with tears. "What if I had to bearwhat she has!" she thought. "Loss of father, mother, home, and fortune!Poor girl! Poor girl!"

  She had intended to go out, but some inner voice told her to wait.Carolina's dreadful mood and reckless words haunted her. She wentrestlessly from room to room, and anxiously listened for sounds of herreturn. And so keenly was she expecting a misfortune that when thetelephone-bell rang sharply, it calmed her at once.

  "It has happened!" she said to herself, as she flew to answer.

  The message was that Carolina had been thrown from her horse anddragged. They were bringing her home.

  "I knew it!" said Kate. "She was in too awful a mood to wear spurs withAstra. I ought to have made her take them off."

  Carolina was still unconscious when they brought her in. Kate caught aglimpse of her still, white face as they carried her up-stairs. Shewaited with feverish impatience for the doctor's verdict, with her mindfull of Carolina's awful words. "I knew it!" she kept whispering toherself through a rain of tears. "God always gets even with people whodare Him to do His worst!"

  It seemed hours before Doctor Colfax finally came out, with his refinedface full of pain.

  "Is she dead?" whispered Kate, catching at his arm. He shook his head.

  "Disfigured?" continued Kate, with growing anxiety.

  "Worse!" said the doctor. "She has broken her hip badly. Even if sherecovers, she will be lamed for life!"

  Kate covered her mouth to repress a scream.

  Beautiful Carolina lamed for life!

  "Crutches?" whispered Kate.

  "I am afraid so!" said the doctor, with a deep sigh. "I am going tohave a consultation. We will do everything we can to preserve herhealth--and her beauty, poor child!"

  Kate turned away in a passion of tears, well knowing that to Carolina'sproud spirit dependence would be far worse than death.

  Bad news travels on the wings of the wind, and before the day was overCarolina's accident was on everybody's tongue.

  Her sister-in-law was indignant, in a sense outraged by Carolina'sbehaviour. She blamed her first of all for existing in her radiantyouth and beauty and so far outshining her own modest charms. Sheblamed her secondly for permitting Sherman to lose her money and thusmake it Addie's duty to offer her a home. She blamed her thirdly, andmost bitterly of all, for injuring herself so hopelessly that she couldnever marry, thus placing herself upon Addie to support for life. Wasever a more unkind fate invented? Addie's temper, never of the best,burst all bounds as this situation became plain to her, and sheexpressed herself fluently to Sherman, who felt himself included in hermisfortunes as part author of them.

  It was an unhappy time for all concerned, for Carolina's bitterdenunciations of her fate and her grief over her dependence could hardlybe checked even in the presence of Kate and her family, whosehospitality and friendship, so generously offered, put the girl under atleast civilized bonds of restraint. There were times, however, when shewas alone, that she relapsed into such a savage state that she tore herhair and bit her own tender flesh.

  The sight of such rebellion reduced even Kate's mutinous nature to peaceand quiet by contrast, and Kate was developed into a gentle friend ofChristian sentiments by Carolina's great need.

  The conversations they held with each other were long and intimate.Kate tried to put faith in the series of doctors who succeeded eachother like chapters in a book, but the sufferer's clear eyes saw notonly through Kate's kind intentions, but through the great surgeon'shopeless hopes, and from the first she knew the worst. Knew that herbright youth was for ever gone; that her usefulness was ended; thatnever again could she expect even to ornament a social function,crippled as she was and disfigured by ungainly crutches. Her one hopewas to die. Thus she made no effort to recover, and her strength,instead of aiding her, gradually faded away until her accident, thoughnot at first of a fatal nature, began to be looked on as her death-blow.

  At this juncture, Addie, struck with remorse, came and offered Carolinaa home, but Carolina shook her head.

  "Thank you, Addie, but when I move
from here it will be to rest forever. I want to die here with Kate. She loves me!"

  It was a bitter thrust, and Addie felt it to the verge of tears.Indeed, she was so moved by pity for the frail shadow that Carolina hadbecome, that she forgave the girl for having been so beautiful and beganto be fond of her, as one is fond of a crippled child, who had beenobnoxious in health.

  Trouble develops people.

  Mrs. Winchester was detained in Boston by the dangerous illness of theniece she had gone to visit, and although greatly fretting at being keptaway from Carolina, was fairly obliged to stay.

  Carolina felt that she was welcome at the Howards, for not only Kate'smother but her father often came to sit with her and cheer her and tourge upon her how glad they were to be able to help her when she neededhelp.

  Carolina was grateful, the more so because she felt that she had notlong to live. She had been in bed several months, and while thesurgeons said the broken bones had knit, yet it was agony for her tomove. She almost fainted with pain when they were obliged to lift herfrom one position to another.

  Kate spent hours in trying to interest her in the life around her. Shefelt frightened when she discovered the depth of Carolina'slistlessness. Her weakness took a stubborn form.

  "I am only one of the crowd now, Kate dear," she said one day after along argument from her friend. "There is no use in wasting so muchenergy over me. Go and forget me and enjoy yourself. I used to be ofthe exclusive few who got their own ways always. Now I belong to thegreat mob of malcontents--the anarchists of the social world. I shallnot want to blow up kings and presidents, but I would like to throw abomb at every happy face I see."

  Her voice trailed off to a weak whisper.

  "Y-you wouldn't need many bombs, then," said Kate, "for I never s-seeany really happy faces. Did you ever in all your life--either at ballsabroad or the opera here, see a perfectly happy face?"

  Carolina shook her head and closed her eyes wearily.

  Suddenly she opened them again.

  "Yes," she said, "I have seen one--the night of 'Faust.' It wasRosemary Goddard!"

  Kate gave a little scream.

  "Well, I'd rather follow you to the grave you seem so bent on f-fallinginto," she stammered, "than to get happiness from such a source. Mydear, Rosemary Goddard is a C-Christian Scientist!"

  Kate's tone indicated that Rosemary had contracted a loathsome disease.

  Carolina fixed her eyes on Kate. She was not of a contrary disposition,yet the difference between Kate Howard's tone and Rosemary Goddard'sface made her stop to think.

  "I should like to talk to Rosemary," she said at last. To her surpriseand consternation, Kate burst into tears.

  "If you g-go and turn into one of those n-nasty things," she sobbed, "itwill end everything. I'd rather you died!"

  "Then never mind," said Carolina, wearily. "I don't want to vexanybody. Perhaps I shall die."

  Kate jumped up. The momentary colour faded from Carolina's face and thestrength from her voice. Kate recognized the change.

  "I'll go and f-fetch her," she said, with her old-time change of front."She may do you good."

  When she came back with Rosemary, she saw what Carolina had seen inRosemary's face--an illumination which no one could understand. Ittransfigured her.

  Kate left the two girls together, and walked the floor in tempestuousanger all during Rosemary's stay in the house. Something in Carolina'seyes as they first met Rosemary's told Kate that the poison was alreadyat work, and that Carolina was ripe for the hated new religion.