Galdren didn’t say anything for so long that it finally caught Avila’s attention and she looked up. When she did, he was smiling. “I’m glad to hear it.” That was the last thing said, and Avila was glad for it. Even more so when he didn’t mention the fact that she hardly touched her food.
As the meal was being cleared away, Galdren finally broke the silence. “Etta, would you please take care of this and then send someone to Avila’s room to assist her in getting ready for sleep? I need to make sure the com units are working, so I will escort her to her room.” Etta gave a brief curtsy and turned to continue clearing off the remains of the dinner.
Galdren then turned to Avila and offered his hand. Her brain was still foggy, and it took her a moment to realize that he was trying to help her up. She had completely missed his conversation with Etta. He must have realized that she hadn’t caught his cue, so he reached down for her hand and helped her to her feet before he gently turned her around. Then with one hand on her shoulder for support and the other on the opposite arm, he gently guided her from the room.
When they reached the sleeping room, he turned her around and had her sit on the edge of the bed. Once she was seated, he pulled two com units out of an inside pocket of the vest he was wearing. “These two com units are supposed to only be dialed into each other. Once they are turned on, they will only pick up signals from their partner. Since this is only a temporary solution, I felt this was the easiest way. The new com units should be installed within the week.”
He turned them both on and put one on the bedside table. He then took the other into the bathing room. He came back a second later. “I need to test to see if I can hear you. Once I walk in the other room, please say something.” With that, he turned and walked back to the other room again.
Avila felt a little silly, but she knew she wouldn’t get any rest until this was over. As soon as the bathing room door was closed, she leaned closer to the com unit and, in a loud whisper, said, “Hello.” She couldn’t help the giggles that escaped afterward.
Moments later, Galdren walked back out of the bathing room again. He was fighting to keep from laughing himself. Apparently, the com unit worked, and her giggles had been heard. “Well, these seem to work fine. Just make sure you turn it on each night, and we should have no worries.”
Even though the sleeping room door was open, there was still a knock. They both looked over to see a young woman standing in the doorway. “Your Highness, I’m here to help the Lady Durant for the night.”
“Yes, of course.” Galdren put the second com unit back in his pocket and turned to Avila. “Don’t forget that Professor Gilbert will be here in the morning. I will see you again for dinner tomorrow evening, but please feel free to explore if you want to. Good night.” Then, with a brief nod of his head, he was gone.
The young woman came into the room and gave Avila a curtsy before she asked where her things were, so she could help her prepare for the night. As tired as Avila was, it took a moment for that to sink in. “I’m sorry, but you don’t have to help me get ready for bed. I am perfectly capable of doing that myself.” As tired as she was, she wasn’t sick anymore, so there was no reason why anyone should need to look after her.
Stricken, the girl obviously didn’t know what to do. The answer, however, was taken from both of their hands when Avila tried to stand up. Being so drained and then not eating much had taken its toll on her body. When she stood, the world seemed to tilt a little crazily for a moment and go black. By the time she was back to herself, the young woman had her seated again.
This time, she wouldn’t take no for an answer. It didn’t take her long at all to help Avila change into her nightclothes, and she was securely tucked into her bed soon enough. It took the last of her remaining willpower to remember to set the timeglass to wake her so she wouldn’t be late for her first lessons in the castle. She was asleep before her helper had even left the room, and she had never even gotten her name.
20. New Normal
Avila had managed to find a door in the alley that was unlocked. She shut it as quietly as she could and tried to find a lock. She nearly screamed in frustration when she found the clasp broken. Still, she put it on the door and hoped it would be enough. She didn’t dare try to go farther into the building, as, depending on who the place belonged to, that might cause just as many problems as the guards who had been chasing her.
Mikael had gone to gather a few supplies, so she had been walking alone and was spotted in the main street. Thankfully the guards had called out to each other and inadvertently gave her a head start. It also helped that at least a handful of people had been willing to block her from view as she ran, once they realized what was going on. She only hoped the men had been too busy chasing her to understand it had been intentional. She already owed her people so much; the hope they had shown when their eyes caught hers was enough to drive her forward.
There were no sounds coming from the alley, but she doubted that meant she had lost them. Instead, she looked around to see if there was some place she could hide until they passed. That way, even if they looked in, the room would seem empty. She was lucky enough to find a broom closet, which she shoved herself into. The space was cramped, but it was enough. She then focused on quieting her breathing.
Several minutes later, she heard many heavy sets of footsteps racing by. She nearly jumped when she heard the outer door bang open, but she sagged in relief when she heard one of the men call to the others, “This one opened, but it’s empty.”
Even though they had passed her location, Avila did not move for several minutes. She was in no position to take chances. Mikael had given her a tiny laser pistol and shown her how to use it, but it was for emergencies only. It would do little good against a whole contingent of guards.
She was almost ready to go ahead and see if she could find Mikael when the door to the closet was flung open. Avila screamed as the guard leered down at her, and he just laughed when her pistol came up. “What are you gonna do with that, Princess? You can’t even hold it steady. Look at the way you’re shaking.”
He was right, too. Part of it was that she was scared to death, but not all. When her finger had tightened on the trigger, it struck her that she was about to kill a man. Even if it was in defense of her own life, she couldn’t force her finger to move.
The chance was taken from her when the guard grabbed her roughly by the arm and yanked her out of the closet. Her tiny pistol clattered to the ground and she watched it with wide eyes. She was so terrified that she barely heard the guard say, “You might want to speak to your goddess, Princess. As soon as I get you to the others, the commander has a bullet with your name on it.”
Avila was still watching her pistol as the man dragged her out into the alleyway. However, her attention was pulled back to the man holding her when she heard a shot ring out. She screamed as the man’s head jerked to the side and he nearly fell on top of her. She didn’t need to see the blood that oozed from his temple to know that he was dead.
She looked up to see Mikael, but he was frowning at her, not the man he pulled her out from under. He didn’t say anything as he looked around before ducking into the room she had been pulled from. He was back in an instant, and his frown deepened as he grabbed her hand and placed the grip of the gun in her palm.
His voice was low when he said, “Princess, no matter what happens, you must live. I will not always be there to save you. You must learn to save yourself. Taking a life is not easy, but you need to think of how many lives will be lost if you give up. It is a choice that you could not make today, but prepare yourself. It will happen again. When it does, do not hesitate. Hesitation will get you killed.”
Avila was still shaken by the whole ordeal, but she managed to swallow her tears and gave Mikael a nod. She knew he was right, but that didn’t make it easier.
After her nod, he grabbed her hand and raced back t
he way she had come. The guards were still out, and they needed to get to safety, even if that meant they would have to finally break down and head back to Ithir. At least the capital was the last place the Trogand would expect her to retreat to.
Despite her continued terror, Avila’s hand tightened around the grip of her gun as she raced after Mikael. She only prayed that the next time, she would be ready to face her fear.
Avila sat up with a gasp. All it took was the sight of the posts around her bed for her to remember where she was. Thankfully, the comfort of knowing that she was safe was enough to ease her breathing, though she jumped when she heard a shrill ringing. Her alarm was buzzing, and it took her a moment to find it and shut it off.
At the last moment, she thought about the com unit as well, and shut it off with a cringe. She only hoped Galdren had already been up and out before her timeglass went off so insistently. Her only consolation was that he usually seemed to be up and fully groomed well before her most days.
Due to her disorienting start to the day, she had to rush her morning preparation, and wished she had taken a bath the night before. Unfortunately, there was no time, so she settled for a shower. Thankfully, she managed to finish with just enough time to get settled into the sitting room before there was a knock at the door.
With a “yes” from her, the door was opened, and Professor Gilbert was ushered in by Lee. She could see Jacob just past them, still standing outside the doorway. The sight gave her a bit of a start, even though it shouldn’t have. She knew they were supposed to be there, but she had forgotten about them already.
With a sigh, she turned to the professor and put on a smile. There was no use worrying about it. “Good morning, Professor Gilbert. I hope this move hasn’t put me too far behind, since it was only a day.”
“Well, that will be entirely up to you now. Why don’t we get started and see what we can make up today?”
Despite his words, his tone put her at ease. It was surprisingly easy to slip back into her typical routine, even if it was a new location. It only took a few moments to set things up.
The only snag came about an hour after they started, when her stomach rumbled loudly and she realized she hadn’t had anything for breakfast. No one had brought anything for her, and she hadn’t thought to ask. It was remedied quickly enough; she simply stuck her head out the door and asked how she should go about asking for food to be brought to her rooms, or if she had to go somewhere to eat every morning.
She had to repress a sigh of relief when Lee said that for now, if she required anything, to let them know, and they would have it sent to her room.
It didn’t take long before another knock sounded at her door. After Avila opened it, Lee led an unfamiliar young man into the room. He put the tray down, bowed, then left. Avila wasn’t sure how she felt about that. It was odd having all these strangers in her personal space and not even having names for any of them, but she wasn’t given the chance to dwell on it. As soon as the room was cleared again, Professor Gilbert had her back to her work while she ate, and all other thoughts were soon erased from her mind.
The morning passed quickly after that as she fell back into the familiar pattern of study. It was actually a balm to her frazzled nerves. The familiarity was a soothing anchor in the tumult of the last few days.
It seemed as if little time had passed when a new knock came, but when Avila checked the timeglass, she was surprised to find it was time for lunch already. Lee escorted the same young man that had come in earlier in the day to a table in front of the fireplace.
The lad had already placed the trays, bowed, and was getting ready to leave again, but Avila decided to stop him before he reached the door. “Excuse me, um—thank you.”
The boy stopped when Avila spoke, but he didn’t look up at her. When she thanked him, he turned a slight shade of pink. She could tell he didn’t know how to respond, but now that she had stopped him, he seemed at a loss for how to proceed until he was dismissed. “Also . . . I just wanted to know what your name is, if you are going to be working around here often. If you don’t mind, that is.”
For some reason, her request made his flush go a little brighter, but he still bowed slightly. “My lady, my name is Michael; thank you for asking.”
Avila was a little taken aback when he addressed her by title. She had forgotten already that she had acquired one, but things made more sense now. She also realized she would have to let Michael know he was free to go before he would leave.
“Thank you, Michael. I appreciate your time. I apologize if I have taken up too much of it.” She smiled at him and hoped it would make him feel a little more comfortable, but for some reason, his eyes just got wider, and he all but fled from the room.
Avila was at a complete loss as she went to join the professor for their midday meal. It took her a moment to realize he was laughing at her. She had known him for too long to get upset with him, but he obviously had some insight into what had happened, and he found it amusing. “So, tell me, since you think that was so funny, what was that about?”
“Well, that young man now has quite a bit on his mind, and I am sure he is completely awestruck.” Avila snorted in disbelief at the thought that anyone could be awestruck with her.
Professor Gilbert shook his head. “Think about it, Avila. When you first found out who Galdren was, how did you feel? How would you feel meeting the queen or king?”
Since she had not yet forced herself to contemplate that question, she did so at his request. He gave her a moment before he continued, “All right, so if you can imagine how you might feel in those situations, then think about this; that young man has a job to do, and to do it, he usually stays out of the way. He may see people, but he never speaks to them. They don’t speak to him either. Like all the other servants in the castle, they are just part of the castle. There are, of course, some few exceptions, but they are usually personal maids and bodyguards. Knowing that, you should understand that you took him out of his element, and it completely flustered him. From the looks of it, he was a little starstruck as well.”
Avila glowered at him. She could understand what he was saying, but it made no sense to her. “I can understand the concept of being awkward around someone like the king, or anyone else of importance for that matter, but I am a nobody. I don’t even have any say over my own life; how can I possibly intimidate others?”
After her heated denial, the professor sat and watched her. It didn’t take Avila long to realize why. That was the first time she had ever directly spoken to him about what was going on, and she had done so in a forthright way. There was no taking it back.
After watching her face turn from heated to pale to flushed again, the professor spoke. “Avila, no matter what else has happened, you are not now, nor have you ever been, a nobody. The fact of the matter is that you are somebody to be reckoned with, now more than ever. You have a brilliant mind, and now you will have even more opportunities to make things happen. Like it or not, you have been given a title. You will have to get used to the responsibilities of that, along with everything else.”
Avila sighed. She knew Professor Gilbert was right. She wasn’t thinking about the responsibilities of a title, only the difficulties. She still didn’t believe that what she had done was worthy of one, and could see how it might cause conflict with others both in and out of her field. Still, her mentor managed to make her see both sides to the argument, even when she didn’t want to. At least he had done so without getting into her outburst. She sent up thanks to the goddess for that small favor.
“You’re right, of course. I still can’t see myself as the Lady Durant, but I can see what you are talking about and how it could help with my work in the future. I don’t have to like it, though. I don’t want all the people around me to be strangers. Does it always have to be that way?”
He laughed at her again, earning another glare. “Easy, I
don’t mean to earn your ire. Take your time, be polite, say thank you, and they will come around. Just don’t jump on them like you did that poor young man today. Once they get used to you and see what kind of person you are, they will not be strangers to you, but it will take time.”
His answer helped her relax a little. “This is going to take so much getting used to, and I don’t have the time to adjust.” She almost felt a little hopeless again at the prospect, but she kept her chin up. She didn’t want him to see her inner conflict. They ended up passing the rest of the meal in relative silence.
When the young man came back to clear things away, Avila could tell he was nervous, and he kept his eyes averted from her. She did her best to stay out of his way. However, when he was done, she could not stop herself from thanking him before he walked out the door. She didn’t make such a big deal of it with the hope of making it less awkward, but the young man still turned bright red as he managed a bow before he left the rooms.
The ordeal left Avila completely frustrated and made it hard for her to concentrate on her work after lunch. How was she going to get used to life in the castle if she not only had to try to avoid embarrassing herself by being foolish around Galdren, but also had to worry about trying to act the way servants think a lady should act? The whole thing was infuriating.
Her work suffered from her distraction, and the professor made a point of saying something about it before he left. “Avila, I know you are going to need some time to adjust, but you are already behind. We can only afford to allow so much time to pass before it becomes a problem.”
That was the closest thing to a reprimand she had ever received from him, and it embarrassed her that it was necessary more than it hurt her feelings. She knew he would not have said anything if he wasn’t trying to look out for her. It seemed as if everyone was doing that as of late.
Shattered Dreams Page 18
