In The Dark (The Guardianship Trilogy Book 1)

by Sarah K. Jensen

  Laif shook his head and looked up at his brother. “I shoved her out of the hall and into the living room and then she jumped me, kissing me, and I guess I did kiss her back, but it only lasted for all of two seconds, but that probably won’t matter a whole lot to Memphis.” He swallowed. Hard. “Will it?”

  Bryson sat beside him and bumped his shoulder. “It might. If she’ll listen. But promise or not, you don’t go on a date with a piranha if you are in love with someone else.”

  “I’ve got to go find her.” Laif shoved his feet into his socks and pulled his Nike’s on, propelled off the bed, and headed toward the door.

  “In case you didn’t notice, she was dressed to the hilt for a battle. I doubt you’ll find her.”

  Laif glanced at his brother and gave a weak smile. “I’m a Guardian too. I know how to find the Oíche Scáthanna.”

  He found seven. Fortunately, he’d replenished his supply of white sand when he’d been at Born Elks. Unfortunately, not one of the Night Shadows led him to Memphis.

  Memphis let the incantation soar over the Oíche Scáthanna that inhabited the bodies of four college-age partiers, and as soon as the demons exited the bodies, she gave chase to them for three blocks. At the end of an abandoned alley, the Night Shadows spun on her, attacking as one. Bastard sword in her right hand, and dagger in her left, Memphis fought with exhilaration, alive and free, not having to think of the mess her life had become.

  Slicing through one Shadow with the sword, at the same time her dagger hit its mark with a piercing blow to where a heart would’ve been if it were human, Memphis obliterated both demons. One of the remaining two pushed at her mind, trying to get into her head since he couldn’t occupy her body. Memphis pushed back and sent the creature to its knees. She had the power of God and the Tuatha De Danann on her side, and no shadow would ever slither into her mind.

  Making quick work of the remaining Oíche Scáthanna, Memphis straightened, squared her shoulders, and went searching for more of the vile fiends.

  Her night ended at four-thirteen, with eighteen kills. She dismounted her bike behind her building and stretched her tiring muscles. Coming off an extreme high, the down from so many kills almost dropped her to her knees. She didn’t see the black Audi until after the door opened.

  Laif climbed out and started toward her.

  Memphis shook her head. “Not interested. Don’t care.”

  She turned and headed up the back steps into the apartment hallway. Laif followed without saying a word. Beyond tired, Memphis ignored him until he took the key from her and unlocked the door. He stepped inside, moved over so she could follow, and closed the door behind her.

  “Go home, Laif,” Memphis whispered, scared to death that at any second, she’d start crying.

  “Can’t. Need to tell you what happened.”

  Memphis spun around to face him, renewed. “I know what happened. You found out that I wasn’t the perfect woman for you because almost thirteen years ago I made a mistake and you bolted. Well, guess what? That mistake turned out to be the best thing that has ever happened to me. You decided I wasn’t worth the effort. I get that. But I have a son. That will never change. I let some jerk seduce me when I was fourteen. Sue me. You can’t handle it, that’s your problem, not mine. Sorry I was stupid enough to think you just needed time. Obviously, any woman would have done.”

  She took a deep breath, her first since the tirade started, and then, feeling defeated, whispered again, “Go home.”

  Laif shook his head. “Can’t.” He took her hand, and when she tried to pull free, tightened his grip. “You understand mistakes. Let me tell you about mine tonight. Please.”

  She allowed Laif to lead her to the couch and sat beside him. The rightness of being at his side was not lost on her, though she tried hard to push it away. She didn’t want to hurt because of him, and this man could hurt her worse than any other on earth. Jacob Riley had nothing on Laif Craig where the ability to cause pain was concerned.

  “When I was thirteen, this pretty little blond girl came up to me after school and told me I was going to be her boyfriend and that I had to kiss her.” Laif gave a wistful smile. “I’d never kissed a girl before, and even though I liked the idea of kissing the prettiest girl in school, she scared the crap out of me. She punched me in the gut and told me I’d better kiss her. I did.”

  He leaned back into the sofa and twisted his fingers with Memphis’s. Then he told her all about his dysfunctional relationship with Paulina.

  Memphis watched his long, black lashes as they rested for a few seconds on his high cheekbones. His sculptured features were rugged. But he was beautiful. She’d always hated that word, but she could think of no other for Laif. She shook her head to get out of the trap beauty played on the mind.

  “She was practically climbing up your body, Laif. That wasn’t a friendly little kiss between old friends.” Memphis shook her head and again tried to pull her hand away. He wouldn’t let her. “Doesn’t matter. I won’t do this.”

  “I was pushing her away and she kissed me. I admit I kissed her back for all of two seconds, but it wouldn’t have lasted any longer, I was just about to shove her away for good when you and Bry came in. I didn’t mean to kiss her back, it was habit. It didn’t mean anything.”

  She laughed, on the verge of hysteria. “How many people have told that lie throughout history? It always means something.”

  Laif sat straighter and gazed into Memphis’s eyes. His Caribbean blues staring at her were stormy. Sad. Confused. “When I’ve dated her over the years, we’ve kissed. When she grabbed me, I did push her back, but I won’t lie and say I didn’t participate, but as I said, it was for all of two seconds. I’m so sorry it happened. It won’t happen again. I told her that I’d never see her again and wished her a good life.”

  He smiled a little sadly. “You’d probably appreciate that she slapped me, after she told me she’d slept with half a dozen men while in Europe and planned on dropping me for good after she got me into her bed.”

  Anger swelled in Memphis’s breast and threatened to explode. How dare she touch my man? How dare that slut treat you that way?

  “She will never touch me again, sweetheart. And she could never hurt me, she was never that important.”

  She hadn’t realized she’d spoken out loud until Laif’s smile, mixed with his words, sunk in. Painful heat speared through Memphis, searing her face with a powerful blush. “I didn’t… You don’t…”

  She tried again to pull her hand free, when Laif let it go, he took her face in both his hands and leaned into her. “Oh, Memphis, love.”

  His mouth captured hers. Lights exploded inside her head as his tongue sought entrance and she granted it. A clashing like she’d never known swept over her, she fought against her past, watching everything that had ever happened to her in life, good and bad, play out in her mind.

  Then suddenly, she saw Laif. His birth, first tooth, first word. She watched him play with his parents, sisters, and brothers. Saw and felt his first kiss with the blond. Watched as he got drunk at sixteen and streaked naked with a bunch of guys from the football team down Westbank Drive.

  Laif pulled her closer like he was trying to get inside her. She couldn’t fight the pull he had on her, even as she watched him making out with endless girls, always going back to the blonde.

  Memphis wanted to roar out and push away from the pain it caused by watching him with other women, but she couldn’t stop the kiss. Wasn’t sure she really wanted to. Even though it was killing her.

  Every misguided act of a teenage boy, every woman he’d ever made out with, but never made love to, everything that had ever happened to Laif, including his disgust at Paulina for ruining his plans to spend time with Memphis and Callen played out in the minutes they frantically kissed. A lifetime of information delivered in mere minutes.

  When they’d again returned to the present, they broke apart, both breathing heavy.

  “What was that?
” Laif asked, glaring at her like she was some kind of witch who had shoved her life into his brain and pulled his thoughts away.

  Hurt and afraid, Memphis scooted away from him. “I don’t know. I didn’t do it.” Tears threatened. She blinked, hoping to hold them in. “Did you see everything?”

  He nodded. “You?”

  She gave a curt, one bob nod of the head. This was a disaster. She’d planned on telling him all about Callan, and his birth, and even some of her past, but not everything. She hated him for knowing all her deepest secrets.

  Tears fell despite her efforts to keep them at bay.

  A glance over at Laif told her he seemed to have recovered from whatever had just happened between them. He held out his hand “Memphis, come here.”

  She shook her head.

  “Please. Talk to me.”

  “And say what?” she nearly screeched. “You’ve seen everything! You weren’t supposed to know how that monster my mother married touched me. You weren’t supposed to see how stupid and vulnerable I was when Jacob Riley found me. You weren’t supposed to see all that.”

  He reached for her, but when she pulled back, he let his hand drop. “You saw me. All the mistakes I’ve made. All the women. My getting drunk and rebelling. You know everything about me now.”

  “But you didn’t have sex with any of them. You didn’t let someone tell you you were beautiful and then seduce you into her bed. You were stronger than me!”

  “Are you kidding?” He shot off the couch and stood in front of her, his chest heaved in and out before he continued, “You’d been mistreated and alone. You had a moment of weakness. I had decades of it. Even tonight, you saw that there was nothing between Paulina and me, but I still kissed her. You’re the strongest person I’ve ever met!”

  Memphis sat there stunned. She wiped tears from her cheeks. “You really think that?”

  He smiled his lopsided, one-dimpled smile, and said, “Kiss me again. See if you don’t know that I believe what I said.”

  A bubble of laughter caught in her chest and eased out; letting much of the fear and pain she’d carried over the years leak out with it. “Oh, Laif.” She jumped up, wrapped her arms around him, and held on for all she was worth.

  Chapter 18

  Laif ran his hand down Memphis’s back and up it again before stopping at the nape of her neck and twisting it in her hair. He’d hated seeing her with Jacob but saw the pain she’d been in at the time.

  Understanding the heartache and the innocence of youth, he was able to let the incident, which had given her Callan, stay in the past. The love he had for her overwhelmed him and he had to kiss her again. Gently, he tugged her hair until her face was upturned and he lowered his mouth to hers.

  Lips soft, yet firm, moved with his. This kiss was slow. Tender. His free hand came to her cheek and held her, allowing him to keep his needs checked as he deepened the kiss. Her lips parted and the silken tongue he’d tasted minutes before darted into his mouth. He wasn’t sure if the groan belonged to him or her, but as desire, so strong he thought he’d implode, washed over and through him, he eased her back down to the couch and, without breaking the kiss, lowered his body to hover over hers.

  The history lesson from before didn’t hit him this time, but the knowledge that she felt more for him than she ever had anyone other than Callan seared him deep down to the bones. He felt her fears and knew that the intensity of her feelings for him scared her.

  She wasn’t alone, they scared him too. No other woman had shown this level of interest in him before. Nothing past a physical want. Nothing that even came close to love. She had thought she’d loved Jacob Riley but had been so wrong, and there hadn’t been any other man in her life until him.

  He lowered his body onto her, pressing her into the couch. Memphis moaned and he felt her confusion. I can’t do this. We can’t do this, he heard her say in his head. But she didn’t break away from him. He hurt with want for her and needed her like he needed air.

  Memphis’s resilience was weakening. He felt that too and knew that if he didn’t stop now it could ruin what they were building together. It could also get them killed since they wouldn’t be able to see the Night Shadows, better yet defend themselves or others.

  Man, he had to stop. Get off her, you idiot. Stop moving against her right now!

  Suddenly, Memphis began to laugh, and it broke the spell he was under. He stopped kissing her. Incredulously, he stared down at her and she smiled the most amazing smile he’d ever witnessed, and he couldn’t help but smile back.

  “May I ask what’s so funny?” He tried for a serious tone but knew he didn’t pull it off when she snorted out a laugh.

  “The way your mind works, calling yourself names, telling yourself what to do like that. I do that. I didn’t realize other people talked to themselves that way.” Her smile dazzled him. “Besides, you’re not an idiot. And I wasn’t exactly stopping you.”

  “No, you weren’t. But I heard you say you couldn’t do this. We couldn’t do this. I should have stopped then, but I didn’t. I just kept kissing you. I wanted—” he paused, shook his head, and pushed himself off her, and sat on the edge of the couch so that he wouldn’t do what he wanted.

  “You wanted what?” she asked as she sat up too.

  He looked over at her, sighed, and whispered, “To make love to you.”

  She looked away. “I know. Me too. We can’t.”

  “We can if we get married,” he blurted out.

  She jerked back as if she’d been punched.

  “That’s not how I meant it.”

  He took her face between his hands, brought his mouth softly to hers, and let her feel all the love he had in that simple meeting of lips. “I don’t want to marry you so we can have sex. I want to marry you because you’re part of me. The best part. Because you and Callan belong to me. I don’t care that Jacob Riley helped bring him into this world, just that he is meant to belong to me, just like his mother is.”

  With that, Memphis seemed to just melt into him. Her arms snaked around his waist and she buried her face in his neck. After a few seconds, he felt her body start to lightly shake and heard the near-silent sobs. He pulled her closer.

  “I—” He didn’t know what to say. If he kissed her again, he’d know what she was feeling. But he couldn’t kiss her every time he wanted to know what was going on in that beautiful head of hers.

  Could he?

  No. They had to talk things out.

  “Talk to me, honey,” he whispered. “I know that you don’t feel the same way about me right now. That you’re scared of all that’s happened between us. But—”

  She cut him off by putting her finger to his lips. “I am scared. But that’s not why I’m crying. You meant that about Callan. You love him. Not just me, but him too.”

  She’d made it a statement, but he nodded anyway. “I can’t explain it. I’ve only seen him for those few seconds before I darted out on you, but that’s all it took to know that he was supposed to be mine.” Laif eased back against the sofa and pulled her into the protection of his arms. “He called me you know?”

  Memphis looked up at him. “He did?”

  Laif smiled. “Sure did.”

  “When? What did he say?” she asked.

  He grinned. “This afternoon. He said that if I hurt his mom again, he’d have to hurt me. Said he knew how to use those swords you carry and that if I made you cry again, I’d wish I hadn’t. Then he asked how long I’d need to accept him because he knew that I was supposed to be his dad.”

  Memphis’s eyes grew huge. “He didn’t say that.”

  Laif nodded. “He did.”

  Memphis bit her lip before clearing her throat and asking, “What did you say?”

  This time, Laif’s smile was serene. “I told him that I was working on accepting it, but I needed to not rush you because you were scared of me.”

  Memphis laughed. “Well, that explains why he talked me into going to your ho
use tonight and volunteered to spend the night with Joan across the hall.”

  Suddenly her smile disappeared and Laif remembered how she had found him at his house. “I am so sorry for letting things get so far with Paulina. Please know it will never happen again. With anyone. I love you and won’t ever do anything to hurt you again. At least not intentionally. I’m not perfect, so I can’t promise that I won’t do something stupid again. But not that. Never that.”

  Memphis’s fists balled tight, relaxed a fraction as he made the vow, but didn’t relax completely. “Was it because you were scared? Did Callan scare you with his call? Is that why you didn’t send her away?”

  Was it?

  Maybe some, but he wouldn’t use it as an excuse. “Probably some. But I was mad at her and she was almost naked and then she was kissing me, and you were there and…. I’m so sorry. Please believe me.”

  Ever so slowly, Memphis uncurled her fingers.

  “I do,” she whispered. “I know you were just trying to do the right thing and let her down easy, and I guess, in some weird way it makes sense. I forgive you for planning to go on a date with another woman and kissing her for two seconds if you promise to forgive me for not telling you about Callan. I knew I could trust you, but I was scared of what you’d think.”

  Laif took her hand in his, intertwined their fingers, and said, “I forgive you for not telling me. I obviously didn’t handle it very well.” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her wrist. “Does this mean we’re okay?”

  It took a moment for Memphis to answer, making Laif sweat. “I’m sure I’ll do plenty of stupid things in the future too, but I will always try not to hurt you.”

  Relief washed through him. It took everything he had not to pump a fist in the air and shout for joy. Instead, in as calm a voice as he could muster, he asked, “Does that mean you’ll marry me?”

  Memphis stilled but didn’t pull away. “I’m not saying no, but I need to think about it. Pray about it. I’ve tried not to make too many decisions, especially important ones, without praying about them first.”