by S. Tron
"Mummy, can Andrew help me?"
"You need to ask him, Sam."
"Yep" Andrew startles me, he's right behind me, leaning to see what I'm doing, he wraps one arm around my waist, giving me a quick kiss on the shoulder. Sam makes a gagging noise, I chuckle. "Sam, please show Andrew where everything".
After dinner, I shower and get then ready to bed, "Mommy, can you play your song?" Sam asks. "Do you mean hey Jude or your song?" I ask
BOTH they say together, I laugh. Seating on my piano I start with your song, then hey Jude. The kids are half asleep; I give them each a kiss.
I slump on the couch beside Andrew, resting my head on his shoulder; he kisses me on the head "how was your first day?"
Andrew doesn't answer; I lean back looking at him, his chocolate eyes shining with tears "amazing". He gets up, goes to the fridge, getting us two beers, seats down, taking my foot and rubbing it, "amazing" he says again. I smile at him. "You know today they were in their best behaviour; some days can be hard", my fears got the best of me, I want to make sure he knows what he is getting into. "I can't wait," he says, taking my other foot for a massage. We sit quietly together.
"When do you run?"
"Usually I have an hour between work and the end of daycare, or at night someone will come babysitting, and I'll go."
"Amazing"
I laugh; he seems to like it. Like us
After two minutes my phone starts, my brothers want to come. "So that means we are going running."
"No babe, it means I'm going running, you stay here with them."
The door opens very carefully, Lee comes in, after a few seconds. Ryan comes in; last is Shak who doesn't live in our town with Ron, who caught a ride with him. "Oh, and they never knock" I give them an eye roll. "Y'all better not wake up my children, or someone will pay" I go to my room and change to my old leggings and t-shirts after I got used to running on the track with new shoes it feels weird to put on sneakers.
I go to the living room, everyone has a beer, and Lee takes out a Glenmorangie 12 years old from my tall cabinet, "if you're drinking my whiskey, please sit outside on the terrace, I really don't want them to wake up" they all agree, before I go out Andrew tells me "no music, no thoughts, remember what Samuel tough you, be here in forty minutes or less". I put my smartwatch on.
"Are you afraid to be left alone with us?" Ron asks, Andrew probably should. "I'm still her trainer," Andrew says. "I'll do ten under forty, but then I'm going to do another five with music and fun."
"Oh, a piece of advice, never tell her what yo do" Ryan interfere.
"Yeah, that will be over before he knows it" Shak adds.
"Yeah, when she gets mad we all need to back off" Ron adds.
Andrew comes close to me "I see you, nothing will change, go."
32. Andrew
Bloody hell her brothers are fucking idiots. They piss her off; they don't have any idea what's going on in her beautiful mind.
The blond, Ryan, I think, tell us all to go outside, the big one, Shak, is bringing another bottle of whiskey, Laphroaig, I stick to one glass, I got the children, and I got Jude. The way they made her feel bad, she will need my support.
"Oy Andrew, so tell us please, what are your plans? Do we need to kick your ass?" Lee says. Ron adds "if you hurt her if you leave do kids hanging in London, we will come to find you and kill you."
"You're all the ones to talk, you just let her leave her own home, the one she holds all by herself, loving and nurturing two children, who grow up amazing, she does it all alone, still finds time to clean, cook, play piano and run, she cares deeply to each of you, and your children, and your wife's, that woman just got out of this house with tears, afraid I will change my mind about how amazing she is because she knew you're all a bunch of idiots" I get a punch straight to my jaw, it hurts like a mother fucker. Instinctively I punch back, hitting a hard jaw, “bloody hell, that’s just proved me right, assholes like her husband, handling her, she can handle herself just fine, you know, it’s the support she’s missing”. Another punch, less painful than the first, I hit back but miss. “Shit” I mutter, cleaning blood from my lips. I hear them sneering but get a man hug. Shak goes inside brings us both ice for our hits. Ron pours us all another round; I say no. I got the children. They all look at each other, surprised. "So" Lee says, "our sister is one of a kind, no one really knows what’s going on inside, she keeps to herself, a lot of it because her husband didn't like us, well he liked us, but he hated the noise and mess that came with our family, he didn’t let her be herself, he suppressed her, when Jude gives her heart, she gives everything, and he took and took, when she decided she is taking back her life he couldn’t give, he didn't know how, like you just said, we needed to make sure you know that, and to make sure you love her before you take her away from us". Wow, they are assholes, but great ones.
Ron interject, “we should have kicked his ass, to remind him she’s worth more, the children worth more.”
“Is it because of the children? When did it start?” I ask, Jude told me everything, but it's through her eyes, now I see her brothers see it differently, more like me.
“It was kind of always that way,” Rayn says, “he gave her shit for smoking, she stops. He gave her shit for running the pub, she quits. He couldn't stay home with the children; ever, every time she needed to stay up to work in an event, he called his parents or our mum.”
“And gave her shit about that later, he didn’t understand it was her work, this is what she loved doing” Ron added. We sit in silence for a while.
"I love her, but I didn't tell her yet, I think she'll get afraid and run away. I want to show her first; nothing will make me run, not you assholes, not your parents and not Sam and Matty.”
They all chuckle, Shak says, “They are wonderful, those children, spitting image of her”.
“Especially Matty, she holds it all in like Jude, I would give her everything to make her more carefree like Sam, though he also has the intense need to take care of everyone.”
They look at me with respect, I earned their respect. "you’re a good guy Andrew” Lee says. “Now tell us about the Olympics and Andy murry”.
We have an excellent talk, sport is always an easy topic, they ask a lot about Jude training, and her chances to get in, she is already in I explain, “she needs to earn it in the eyes of the other runners, but she probably already got their respect, she kills on the track”.
“Sounds like my sister”.
Then we all turn to the quiet sound of the door opening; she’s sweaty and breathless. “38:42” she breathes out, going to the fridge she takes a bottle of water and comes to the terrace, the dog comes from the other side, also breathy, she slumps on the floor on Lee’s feet. Jude throws the watch to me; I look at the results “your last kilometre was bad, what happened?”
“I run up the hill, wrong choice of the road”.
Then she notices my jaw, which is probably as swollen as Shak.
“What did you idiots do??? Are you fucking mad?” she comes and examining my jaw, muttering curses.
“I’m hurt too, thank you for noticing” Shak complains.
“Yeah, but you idiot probably deserve it”.
She goes to the bathroom and comes back with a first aid kit; she feels my glass with whisky “drink”. I do, when I finish she holds a gaze to my open lip, I hiss, it burns, her brothers laugh. “Don’t you dare laugh! What am I supposed to tell Sam and Matty tomorrow???” she slams the ice back to my face, that hurts but I don't dare to complain. She goes to her brother and does the same. “You can tell them their uncles came for a visit, they probably know their uncles are idiots,” I say, and they laugh, Jude tries to keep her face sober, but I see her eyes twinkle.
All in all, it was a fun night, I sat with Jude's watch going over in my head what we need to, Jude gets a full investigation about her training, about the stadium, the track, she tells them about the shoes, clothes and watches I bought her, they seem
impressed. We tell them about the foundation, the events we’ll need to go. We drink and laugh and enjoy our time together. When it’s time to go, we all help clean up. I take advantage of the mess to give Jude a hot kiss; I hear one of her brother's hiss at me, I smile to her mouth. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but maybe one of you can get here tomorrow, around five o'clock in the morning, I want to take Jude for training before the children get up”. They all look at Ryan. He has no kids, “yeah sure; I’ll be here”.
We lock the door after them; I go to wash dishes. Jude goes to the shower. When I finish I go to my suitcase, taking out the two presents for Sam and Matty, placing them beside the door so I'll remember to put it on their beds in the morning, Jude comes out of the shower, Lavender smell takes the room. I sit on the end of the bed, tugging her rope, she laughs and pushes me away, I get up and open her robe, kissing her neck. “Andrew” she whispers “the children are a door apart, you need to be patient.'' I kiss her senseless, then go to the shower, when I get back, Jude already sound asleep. I tug her close to me, kissing her neck. I fall asleep in seconds.
At 4:30 in the morning quite alarm goes on, Jude like a zombie walk straight to the bathroom, I take the boxes and place them on the children beds. Then get organized, I wash my face, I go out to the living room. Jude drinks water and checks her watch, as on cue we here silent knocks on the door, she lets her brother in, he goes straight to our bedroom and face plant himself, then we go outside, Jude goes to the back realising the dog. She asks dryly “what’s the plan?”
“Are you ok love?”
“Tiered, hangover.”
I chuckled, “is it bad? Because we’re going to do a hard one.”
“I’ll be fine once we start.”
We start with a light jog, I take her to the hill she did yesterday, I looked it up in her watch, and then on google earth, it didn’t seem that bad, now I see it in my own eyes, it’s terrible. We sprint to the top and jog back down; we do it for an hour, then my phone beeps, Jude says the kids wake up around six so I want to be there, the beeping meaning we need to head back. “One last time, do your best going up. Then run back home, the first one there can choose a sexy rewarded, ready?” she already started running, oh I’m going to get first.
I get first, Jude right behind me, the pore dog huffing after her, I smack her ass, telling her to go to the shower, I go to the back tying the dog, coming inside from the stairs of the terrace, Ryan opens the door for me. “Did you two did nasty shit on that bed?” I laugh, “not last night if it's any comfort”.
“Shit I should have slept on the couch”, he laughs, giving me a clap on the shoulder, he goes out. I call thank you after him; he waves me off.
I hear rustle from the children bedroom, I go to stand in the door, Matty is first one up, she tries to open her box, looking at me she order “open”, I chuckle and come to sit on her bed, Sam wakes up, sleepy eyes glaring at us, he sees the box and his light up, as his mother, I never noticed his eyes are exactly like Judes. They take out the t-shirts I got for them, it’s the official GB Team, a lion in the shape of the GB flag. The back says ‘my heart with team GB’ and the queens crown seats on top of the heart. It’s simple, but I had to come with something, Sam asks what it says, I explain, the smart boy says “so my heart with mummy when she runs”. I hear a sniffle in the door, Jude stands there, tears in her eyes. “Look mummy look!”, thank you, she mouths.
‘Who wants to get ready for daycare?” Jude comes inside the room. “I want Andrew to see how well I get dressed by myself”. I send Jude to get dressed and stay to help the children, they both want to wear their new shirts, I help them get dressed, then brushing teeth, Jude makes them something to eat while I shower. We all go together to daycare. I never thought of family; mine is so twisted, now, my heart belongs to those three, I’m never letting them go.
33. Jude
It feels so surreal the past couple of days were so amazing, even the day Andrew stayed at home with the children was unbelievable. It feels lovely; I am waiting for the other shoe to drop any second, this can't be real, somehow it is, we walk to daycare, Andrew has a big smile on his face, Matty and Sam showing him different places. It feels like a family. My chest hurts, even in our best of times it never felt like that with Daniel, he wasn't with me in the morning, never picked them up, also if he was in the house he needed my help to get them dressed or fed or showered. Andrew wanted to do everything; I can see how he looks at them; they're definitely in his head and heart. Sam snapped me out of my thoughts, "mummy when do we pack?".
"Well, today, Andrew and I will finish, and when you come home, after a nap, you can help. We're eating at Grandma's tonight, we have a goodbye party, and only children that sleep at nap time can come."
"But mum…"
"Don't start, if you don't nap, you won't have the power to pack."
"Ok, though I know I would have taken me to the party anyway!".
We put Matty and Sam in daycare, going back home. Andrew takes my hand and kisses it. I let out a breath. It seems he always know what I need.
At home, we do our last packing. I want to keep the house and anyway we will come to visit a lot, so most of our things are staying.
"So let's pack the last of the clothes and things we need daily like the children stuffed animals. All the other things we leave here if we need something or forgot we could buy or ask the family to send it" sounds reasonable enough. "What about my piano?" I want him with me. I don't know why I can't say it out loud; Andrew loves me playing. Is it my fears again to ask what I want. I stand up "I'm taking my piano with me."
Andrew looks at me, sizing me up, "of course you are love, I already made room for it in my office.'' I breathe out, Andrew makes my heart squeeze in the best of ways. He seems to understand what went into my head and he gives me a knowing smile, his chocolate eyes been shining from the moment we arrived here, he wears a tight black T-shirt, loose shorts and his barefoot, I like it on him.
We continue packing, it's hard, "I love this house". I'm seated on the floor, packing clothes neatly, Andrew passes me things from my cupboard. He stops, "it's hard to move, it's harder to move on, I had a rough time moving to Marcus, without Jeffrey. So I know a little of how you feel, and if it gets rough or if I'm too much you can take a weekend to come here" his words hit me hard, so much emotion and care, I'm falling for him, Andrew is my music. My heart misses a bit.
He opens the drawers, and a big smile spread on his face. "Those panties taunted me from the first day I saw you" I blush, "you were wearing something like what you're wearing now, no makeup, your hair in that tight bun, and I was a complete asshole, you were so nice" his eyes twinkle with something else. And I ask, he leans down to me, "and I went home and jerked to the image of you" I gasp. "And I did it again when you slept in the other room". My god, my panties are wet. "I know you did the same that night" I blush. "And one day you will tell me, now if we continue this talk, I'm going to take you, and we will never finish packing" I chuckle, "yes sir". By the time we need to pick up the children, we are almost done packing, Andrew on the computer, making sure I can board the plane with my piano, that the dog will be taken care of, end prints all the documents we need for the dog. I go to the kitchen, all my cooking books, and specialized equipment; I need it with me. I have to make time to bake. I put my notebooks, with all the essentials, in a box and I write Andrews address on it, no need to carry it with us. Andrew comes in the kitchen, kiss me on the forehead, "I think we're ready, let's go bring the children". Again my chest tightens, god, this man makes me fall harder every time he speaks.
After Sam and Matty have their nap, I show them what me and Andrew packed, I let them choose anything else they might want, of course, they want everything, pictures we can develop in London, stuffed animals I pack with them, children's books in Hebrew, we pack together, it seems like we fi, the house looks the same, only difference is the empty clothes cupboards and the piano in his bag, we got two big suitcases, a b
ig duffle bag with the kids things and two small suitcases for taking with us to the plain. Sam and Matty help me cover the furniture with sheets while Andrew is on the phone with Angela. I go to my room, take out the memory box, I call Sam and Matty, the seat with me on the bed, I take out the necklace and the rings. “This is mine and your dad's wedding rings, I will keep them here, when you grow up, if you want them, their yours, this whole box is yours, and if you ever have questions about your dad you can ask your grandparents or me.” they nod though I'm quite sure they didn't understand, I can see Andrew standing a few feet from the door, he probably heard. “Now let's go to grandmas and after that grandpa is taking us to the airport.”
Dinner is lovely, in its chaotic way, Andrew has a great time, messing around with the children, laughing with my brothers, my father is still a bit concerned, my mum catches me in the kitchen, “you look happy”, she says, “I am, I'm whole again”.
She eyes me for a moment, she rests her hands on my shoulders, "the last few years we were always afraid to approach you, you used to snap at us, at people for saying a wrong word, you were tight, angry, you were lost, you were the same as a teenager, but I saw you with your children and me saw a different side of you, soft, excepting, warm. I thought maybe you're giving them everything and you have nothing left to others, but now, you're glowing, you found yourself again, I want it to be you and not because of a man."
“it's not mum, Andrew is just a bonus I got for being me again, he lets me be me, and likes me for me, I think I'm falling for him, is that crazy?"
