Fix Me

by Lexy Timms

  She shrugged. “But I don’t have a green thumb and I would hate for the plants to die. Best leave it to the professionals.”

  It had been a stupid conversation. I was just trying to get her to talk, to open up. She wasn’t being aloof or rude, but she wasn’t her usual, vibrant self. I felt like I was missing a piece of her. She was holding back the personal stuff. She wasn’t talking about a painting she loved or how much she loved the color blue. I felt like a caregiver. I felt like she forgot all about what we had shared. She was shutting me out.

  I hated myself for pushing her away. I wasn’t sure I could ever fix it. Something had to change. Something had to give. Neither of us could keep up with the pretense that we were just employee and boss. She was my boss. I worked for her. I could not be with her the way I wanted to be if I continued working at the house.

  If she couldn’t make the decision, I would make it for us. I would quit and just be her boyfriend if she would have me.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bree

  IT HAD BEEN A GOOD day. Not a great day, but a good one. It was nice to change up the usual routine. Luke was trying. I could feel him trying, but I wasn’t sure we could ever go back to the way things were. I was insecure. My insecurity was made worse by my inability to see. I was stuck on a merry-go-round and too damn afraid to jump off. He was my anchor and I could feel him slipping away. I was close, so close to pulling the trigger on the surgery. Something was holding me back. I didn’t know what it was. I was sure I wanted to try it, but it was like the moment I opened my mouth to say it, I froze.

  “You seem distant,” Luke said.

  I shrugged. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Yes, you do,” he agreed.

  I waited for him to bring up the surgery again. I didn’t need any more pressure. I got it. I wanted it, but I didn’t want the risk—if that made any sense at all. “I think I’m going to change into something more comfortable,” I told him.

  “I’ll walk you.”

  “You don’t have to do that,” I answered.

  “No, I don’t have to, but I’d like to. It isn’t like I have any grand plans.”

  I smiled and let him take my hand. I knew my way to my bedroom just fine. I didn’t need him, but he wanted to come along. At my door, he paused, neither of us making a move to go into the room. I could feel the tension. He wanted to say something. I wanted to say something. Neither of us said a word.

  “Luke, this is so hard,” I finally said.

  “What is it?” he asked. “What’s on your mind? I can feel you holding back, and it’s making me crazy.”

  I let out a long sigh. “Come in,” I said, reaching out to take his hand. We moved into my room, standing in front of one another.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked me.

  “No, it isn’t.”

  “What’s wrong? Are you sick? Hurt? What is it?”

  I slowly shook my head. “Not sick. Yesterday was difficult, I’ll admit it. You pulled away from me. It’s hard to explain, but when you shut down and don’t talk, I feel lost. When I can’t hear you, I can’t know what you are thinking. I don’t know if you are happy, sad, angry. I can’t read your expression. It makes me feel like I’m totally alone, even though you’re right next to me.”

  “I’m sorry,” he said, touching my arm. “I told you I’m sorry. It wasn’t you. I was just having a rough day.”

  “You say that, but without me seeing your face, I don’t know if you are telling me the truth. It is so frustrating not being able to see a person’s face and look into their eyes. I never realized how much I depended on being able to see a person’s smile, frown or even a particular look in their eyes.”

  He was quiet for several seconds. “I’m sorry. I’ll try to remember that in the future.”

  I shook my head. “It isn’t anything to be sorry about. This is on me. I’m the one who locked myself in this prison and I have to either deal with the consequences or get over it. I can’t put my frustrations on you.”

  “Yes, you can. Please do. Put them on me. Let me help you work through them. You are not alone, Bree.”

  I had a chance to tell him how I felt. The old me would have just kept it bottled inside. I learned my lesson with Nate. That situation had dragged on for far too long because I didn’t say how I felt. “I might not be alone, but I feel alone. When you’re distant, I start to get a little panicky. I shouldn’t be so clingy. I shouldn’t want you for anything more than the paid professional you are, but I can’t just shut off the feelings. When you pull away, it makes me feel like I’m not worthy of you. I feel like I don’t deserve you.”

  Both his hands went to my shoulders. I could imagine him staring me in the eyes. I just wished I could see the blue eyes Mel told me he had. “Bree, you are completely worthy. It’s me who isn’t worthy of you. I’m not going anywhere. Period. I don’t care if you can see or not. I explained why I thought it was best for us to cool things off, but that doesn’t mean my feelings for you have changed. Not in the slightest. I fell in love with you as an unsighted person. That isn’t going to change.”

  I fought back the emotion that sprang up at his words. “But you could do so much better,” I whispered.

  “No, I couldn’t. I want you. You are beautiful inside and out. I know the situation is unique and that’s what makes you so special. I feel lucky to know you. I feel even luckier I get to hang out with you all the time. It’s killing me not to touch you. All I think about is touching you.”

  With just a few simple words, he changed my world. He changed the way I felt and gave me a boost. I reached out, needing to touch him. My hand felt his chest and moved up to touch his face. I closed my eyes as if I could see him if did so. My hand rubbed over his hard jaw, feeling a faint stubble. I pictured blond hair, blue eyes and a square face. I knew he was hard and muscular, but it was the little nuances that I wanted to see. I wanted to see his eyes flash. I wanted to see his lips quirk. I wanted to see him look at me with desire.

  For now, I would have to settle with feeling those things. I gently ran my finger over his lips, feeling the fullness. One kiss couldn’t hurt. I leaned in, finding his lips with my own and sighing into the kiss. I had missed him more than I thought possible. We were only officially together for a very short time, but it had been so beautiful.

  The sweet, gentle kiss was short-lived. Our bodies recognized one another and in a flash of heat and electricity, we were practically climbing one another. I felt desperate. I needed him more than I needed anything else in that moment.

  “We shouldn’t do this,” Luke breathed, as his hands moved under my top.

  “I know,” I answered, reaching for the hem of his shirt.

  In a flurry of activity, both of us managed to strip each other naked. My hands ran over his skin, touching his arms and moving over his chest and flat stomach. I had to taste him. I kissed over his chest while his hands ran up and down my bare back. I kissed a trail over his shoulder and nuzzled his neck. I inhaled the familiar scent of him. It excited me more than I thought was possible. It was the heightened senses. Every touch, taste and smell more enhanced. I slid my body against him, moving around to stand behind him as I kissed another trail from one shoulder to the next.

  “Bree,” he groaned my name as I reached around him, sliding my hands down his hips before finding the heavy cock.

  I slowly moved around to stand in front of him once again. His hands reached for my face, holding me steady as his mouth devoured mine. I held his steel shaft in my hand, feeling the excitement and need growing as the kiss deepened. He reached down and lifted me up. I released my hold on his dick and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  He walked with me draped over him, but he didn’t move towards the bed. I didn’t care where he went as long as I was in his arms. I felt the wall against my back and immediately grew more excited. He always handled me with such gentleness. I was looking forward to a little more excitement.

  “I
want you more than anything else in this world,” he said, with his mouth hovering against mine.

  “I need you,” I managed to get out, squirming against him.

  With a few adjustments of our bodies, he was sliding inside me. I leaned my head back against the wall, enjoying the feeling of being filled by him. His head rested against my shoulder once he was completely seated inside my body. My hand ran through his hair, pulling him closer before I gently yanked his head back and slammed my mouth against his.

  He began to move. My body slid up the wall with each of his thrusts. I held on to his shoulders, groaning as he gave me more pleasure than my body knew how to process. “Damn, you turn me inside out,” he growled. “I want to be with you all the time. Never think I don’t want this.”

  I nodded, unable to form words. Ecstasy was hanging in front of me. I ground my hips down, taking him deeper inside me. “Don’t stop,” I ordered. “Don’t stop.”

  He stepped away from the wall. My body rode him as he walked, little shivers of delighted ecstasy tore up and down my spine with every step. He dropped me on my bed, coming over me and driving himself into me with one hard thrust. I cried out, the orgasm breaking over me. I arched my back, digging my heels into the mattress and pushing against him.

  I bucked and writhed as he rode me through the orgasm. It was too good. I felt like I was going to faint. His hand stroking my cheek brought me back to reality. “Shh,” he whispered, his chest pressed against mine. “Are you okay?”

  I could feel him inside me, hard and throbbing. I smiled. “I’m so okay.”

  His deep, yet strained laugh vibrated through the place our chests were pressed together. “Good, you had me worried there for a second.”

  “Don’t stop,” I whispered, ready for more.

  He kissed me before moving the bulk of his weight off me as he began to move. I listened to him breathe, relishing in the sound of his strained breath. He groaned low in his throat before he started to move faster. I ran my hands down his back, digging my nails into his ass as I pulled him in deeper.

  “Fuck,” he cried out. “Oh shit. You feel too good.”

  “Go Luke, let go,” I ordered, meeting every one of his thrusts with my bucking hips.

  He rode hard, moving faster and faster until I felt my head hit against the headboard. He was a man on a mission. I could feel his need furiously rising. He was close. His need was making me hot. My body began another violent spiral upward until we were both crying out as we orgasmed together.

  “Holy shit,” he breathed next to my ear, his chest pressed against mine once again. “Did I hurt you?”

  I smiled, my body languid and my heart very happy. “Not at all. I needed that.”

  He chuckled, shifting his weight to the side and pulling a blanket over us. “Me too. I think since we’re already in this bed and we already broke the rules, we may as well take advantage of the situation.”

  I burst into a fit of girlish giggles. “I totally agree.”

  We shimmied under the covers. We kissed and stroked until we were both on fire and ready for release once again. Being with him brought me such joy and contentment. My blindness didn’t matter when we were in bed together. He made me feel normal. He made me feel sexy. He made me feel like the woman I used to be.

  Chapter Twelve

  Luke

  I ROLLED OUT OF HER bed and pulled on my underwear. She looked so damn good lying there with her hair fanned out around her. Her breasts were exposed, her nipples still erect, red from my kisses. There was a satisfied smile on her face, her eyes closed but her face turned towards me. She was listening to me. She couldn’t see me, but I had a feeling she sensed me. Two people didn’t share what we did and not have a strong bond that transcended sight.

  “I should probably get out of here before your dad gets home,” I told her.

  Her smile grew wider. “He will just have to get over it.”

  I sat down on the edge of the bed. My hand reached for her cheek. She leaned into it. “I don’t think he will get over it.”

  “He was okay with us being together before.”

  “And he was thrilled when we told him we were holding off until the situation changed,” I reminded her.

  “He can’t keep me from being happy,” she argued.

  I leaned down to drop a kiss on her lips. “No, and I don’t think he wants to, but this is a big deal. I don’t want to lose my reputation.”

  Staring down at her, I was feeling the pull. I loved her. I had questioned whether it was real or maybe just an infatuation. Now I knew it was real. I wanted to be with her. I didn’t want her to feel insecure or worry about me not wanting her. There was nothing further from the truth.

  “I’m supposed to go out with Mel tonight. I don’t want to go. Maybe I can sneak over to the cottage. I’ll tell my dad I’m with her and we can spend the night together.”

  I groaned. “There is nothing I want more than that, but you need to go out with Mel. It will be good for the both of you. Besides, Mel is not going to be happy with me if I keep stealing you away from her.”

  “Mel will get over it.”

  I kissed her again. “Another time. Go out with your friend. Do whatever girls do but you damn well better not hook up with another man.”

  She giggled. “As if anyone wants a blind woman in their bed.”

  “Girl, you are crazy. Any man would be lucky to have you in his bed. And as far as being blind—do you mean to tell me you never blindfolded a man?”

  Her breath hitched. “No, I haven’t, but you’ve certainly given me an idea. Have you been blindfolded?”

  “No, not actually, but I’ve heard great things. Like you said, all your senses are heightened.”

  She smiled, slowly nodding. “It is very sensual not seeing, not knowing when to expect a touch or a kiss.”

  I had to fight the urge to take her again. “You’re killing me,” I whispered.

  “Good.”

  I heard someone knock on the door before it opened. I sprang off the bed, my heart racing. Paul would be furious. Knowing we were together was one thing but seeing his naked daughter in his bed was another. “Settle down big boy, it’s just me,” Mel said with a laugh. “You’re damn lucky.”

  Bree had covered herself. “Way to knock, Mel.”

  “I did knock. I’m guessing you guys didn’t hear.”

  “I should probably get going,” I muttered, feeling slightly embarrassed.

  “Don’t rush away on my account,” Mel said with a grin.

  “I’m going to take a shower,” Bree said, rising from the bed with the sheet pulled around her.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I said, and practically ran from the room.

  That had been stupid. Paul could have been the one to walk in. I didn’t want to embarrass her or myself. Paul was a powerful man. He could ruin me. He could start rumors, give me a bad reference or even accuse me of rape. I had to remember she was my client. If she wasn’t interested in getting the surgery, I needed to find another job. It was clear I couldn’t be away from her.

  I walked to the cottage, still feeling a little freaked out about what could have happened. I would have to be more careful in the future. The stolen kisses were one thing, but sex in her bedroom was another. I walked through the door at the same time my cell phone rang.

  “Hello,” I answered, recognizing Austin’s number.

  “What are you doing right now?” he asked.

  “Right this minute I just walked through the door. Why? What’s up?”

  “Let’s go out,” he said.

  I laughed. “If by out, you mean to your house, no thanks. I’m still recovering from the last night at your place.”

  “This is a benefit thing. I need a date.”

  I scoffed. “I don’t want to be your date. Thanks.”

  “Come on, I need a wingman. I need someone to talk to that won’t ask me for money or a job.”

  I laughed. “You poor thing.”


  “Do you have a tux?”

  I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. “No, I don’t have a tux. I’m a normal person. Normal people don’t have tuxes in their closet. Only rich guys do.”

  “You can borrow one of mine,” he said without missing a beat.

  I groaned. “When?”

  “Get your ass over here now. I’ll call my tailor and have him do a quick job on the tux.”

  It wasn’t like I had anything better to do. “Fine, but I’m not drinking.”

  “There will be champagne. Drink responsibly and you’ll fine.”

  I chuckled at the thought of me drinking irresponsibly. He had been the one to pressure me into drinking the hard stuff. Not that I protested a whole hell of a lot. “I’ll be there in thirty. I need to jump in the shower first.”

  “Hurry up,” he said before ending the call.

  I had attended benefits before for my old hospital, but they weren’t swanky. They were low-key events made semi-mandatory for the staff that who were then asked to pony up our hard-earned cash to essentially pay ourselves. It never made a lot of sense. I hopped in the shower, my mind going back to Bree.

  I felt like shit for making her feel so bad. She was battling some demons and I didn’t know how to help her. I didn’t want to pressure her to get the surgery and I didn’t want to let it go. She was feeling insecure. I wasn’t sure how to address that. All I could do was let her know how much I cared about her.

  Part of me blamed her father. He saw her as broken and she knew it. The more he thought of her as something to fix, the worse she felt. She had confided in me about fearing for her father’s wellbeing if something should happen to her. It was noble and sweet, and Paul had no idea what she was doing for him.

  I finished showering, did a quick shave and dressed in shorts and a tee. I had worn a tux exactly one time in my life—at prom. I owed Austin a favor and figured putting on a tux and shaking hands with a few rich people was the least I could do.