Till Sudden Death Do Us Part

by Simon R. Green

  He turned the trolley around and headed back to the side door.

  ‘You’re holding the reception here?’ said Penny. ‘I thought Nettie was in charge of all that?’

  ‘She’s only providing the food,’ said Gillian. ‘She did offer us The Swan’s function room, but it really wasn’t big enough. Hell, this hall is only just big enough.’

  ‘You did invite a hell of a lot of people,’ said Tom. ‘Not that I’m complaining …’

  ‘What good is a perfect day, unless everyone is there to see it?’ said Gillian.

  ‘Of course,’ said Tom.

  ‘I’ll be glad when this wedding is over,’ said Karen. ‘You know I want you to be happy on your big day, Gillian; but I won’t feel safe till you’ve both said “I do” …’

  ‘Pull yourself together, girl!’ said Gillian. She put her arm around Karen, and hugged her encouragingly. ‘Nothing bad is going to happen! Everything is going to work out fine, I promise you.’

  ‘How can you be sure?’ said Karen.

  ‘Because I grew up with the Bergin curse,’ said Gillian. ‘So I know it’s nothing but a story.’

  ‘I’m not sure the town would agree with you,’ said David. ‘Did you see how empty the streets were last night?’

  ‘Just one of the many reasons I left this superstitious backwards-looking hole the first chance I got,’ said Gillian.

  She let go of Karen, and moved back to Tom.

  ‘I don’t understand why people only associated with the wedding are in danger,’ said Karen.

  She meant why her, though she didn’t say it. David put an arm around her shoulders to steady her, and she looked at him thankfully. Gillian made an effort to be reassuring, as she saw her friend was genuinely frightened.

  ‘If you take the old story seriously, then you have nothing to fear from the curse, Karen. It only threatens the bride and groom. There’s nothing in it about bridesmaids. Tom and I are getting married in just a few hours. If we can be brave, so can you.’

  Karen shook her head. ‘You’ve always been brave. You think it’s easy. And Tom will do anything you tell him.’

  ‘Whether it’s in his best interests or not,’ said David.

  Gillian smiled at Tom. ‘I think that’s what I like best about him.’

  ‘Come on, Tom, show a little backbone!’ said David. ‘Stand up for yourself! Argue with her about something; even if it’s only the hideous bow tie that came with the morning suits.’

  Tom tried to look down at his bow tie, realized he couldn’t, and looked at David’s. ‘What’s wrong with it?’

  ‘Apart from the fact it’s a bow tie, it’s ugly and tasteless and the exact same colour as a baboon’s arse!’

  ‘I don’t think I’m going to listen to you about style, after some of the things you’ve worn,’ said Tom. ‘Remember that naval outfit they put you in, for our last London show? We couldn’t get you out of it for two weeks after the show finished!’

  ‘It suited me,’ David said loftily.

  Karen turned suddenly to look at me. ‘Do you believe in the Bergin curse?’

  ‘I haven’t uncovered any reason to believe it’s operating here,’ I said carefully. I looked around the group. ‘I think it’s far more likely someone is using the curse as a cover, to disguise their true intentions. Do any of you know anyone who might want to stop the wedding, through intimidation?’

  ‘Why would anyone want to do that?’ said David.

  ‘Right!’ said Tom. He was trying to sound angry at the very idea, but it came out more genuinely puzzled.

  ‘Is there any money involved?’ said Penny. ‘Most murders are based around someone profiting. Does anyone stand to make or lose money, according to whether the marriage goes ahead?’

  ‘I don’t see how,’ said Tom, frowning. ‘There’s no inheritance involved, no insurance money … I make decent money as an actor, but only when I’m working. There are long periods when I’m not.’

  David nodded quickly in agreement. ‘I’ve known Tom for ages. He’s never had any real money, and he’s never been known to give a damn about it. One of his more attractive qualities.’

  ‘I’m just a researcher,’ said Gillian. ‘And Dad’s retired. Whatever’s going on, it’s not about money.’ She stopped, and looked steadily at Tom. ‘You know I wouldn’t go ahead with the wedding, if I thought you were in any real danger.’

  ‘Of course you wouldn’t,’ said Tom. ‘But no one’s in any danger! Once the wedding is over and nothing bad has happened, everyone will see the curse is just an old legend and calm the hell down. So stop worrying, everyone.’

  ‘Of course, we’ve still got to make it through the wedding night,’ said Gillian.

  ‘OK,’ said Tom. ‘No pressure …’

  ‘If we’re talking about the curse,’ said David, his enthusiasm surfacing again, ‘Gillian, can you tell us anything that isn’t in the books? Any nasty little details that only a member of the Bergin family would know?’

  Gillian was already shaking her head. ‘There was a big breakup in the family, back in the nineteenth century. All the family money was lost in some really stupid business deal, and whole sections of the family stopped talking to each other. If anyone knew anything, those details are long gone. All I know about the curse is what I read in the books Dad had about the house. I went through them all, growing up, and that’s how I know it’s bullshit, because you can’t find two books that agree on anything.’

  She broke off as Robert emerged from the side room. He looked surprised to see us all there.

  ‘Why are you still standing around? Get a move on! There’s lots to do before the wedding! I’m off to the church, to check everything’s all right with the vicar, and make sure all the flowers have been delivered, as promised.’

  ‘Tom and I are going back to The Swan,’ said Gillian. ‘Make sure our guests are being treated right.’

  ‘I think I’ll find a nice little tea shoppe,’ said David, ‘And run through my best man’s speech again.’

  ‘You’re not still re-writing that thing, are you?’ said Tom. ‘How many ways are there to say, “I hope you’ll both be very happy together”?’

  ‘You’d be surprised,’ David said darkly. ‘According to this book I reason how to write a best man’s speech, I’m supposed to provide amusing anecdotes to illuminate the groom’s past and character. Don’t worry, I won’t mention Deirdre Turner.’

  ‘Oh good,’ said Tom. ‘I’m so pleased you didn’t bring her up.’

  ‘Bring her up?’ said David. ‘Have you seen her recently? I couldn’t lift her off her feet with a block and tackle.’

  ‘Moving on,’ said Tom, determinedly.

  ‘Can I go with you, Gillian?’ said Karen. ‘I’m sure I could find something useful to do to help.’

  Gillian nodded immediately, and Tom smiled at Karen reassuringly.

  ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘Always lots to do. You just stick with us.’

  ‘I think Penny and I will go visit the town library,’ I said. ‘Check out the local histories, for details on the original events.’

  ‘I thought you didn’t believe in the curse?’ said Tom.

  ‘It’s possible someone else does,’ I said. ‘And if they do, I want to know everything they know.’

  Robert provided us with directions. The library wasn’t far, but then nothing was in this town. And so we all left the church hall, and went about our business.

  Penny and I walked through streets teeming with people, none of whom wanted anything to do with us. There was a general sense of urgency, and up close the smiles seemed forced. I felt the hackles rise on the back of my neck, as I realized these people were genuinely scared. Penny and I pressed on through the streets, and found the library easily enough, but it turned out to be a wasted journey. All the old historical records had been destroyed in a fire at the previous library building, years ago. The only surviving accounts were in the local paper’s archives. And just like that,
Penny and I were back out on the street again.

  ‘The trouble with this curse,’ said Penny, ‘is that there’s nothing solid to get hold of.’

  ‘Maybe that’s the point,’ I said. ‘Whoever’s behind this can hide anything in the mists of the past.’

  ‘But who?’ said Penny. ‘And why?’

  ‘Well that’s the point, isn’t it?’ I said.

  At which point we were ambushed by the reporter Linda and her cameraman Ian. They came running down the street and planted themselves right in front of us, and with our backs pressed up against the library wall there was nowhere for us to run. Short of knocking them both down and trampling right over them; and I was tempted. Linda smiled at me engagingly, but I raised a hand to stop her before she could say anything.

  ‘We’ve already told you everything we can.’

  ‘There must be something else!’ said Linda, just a bit desperately. ‘You’ve got to help me out! The editor used absolutely everything I submitted to fill this morning’s edition, and now he wants more! He’s sent every warm body on the paper’s payroll out onto the streets to browbeat people, so I have to come up with something special if I want to hang on to my byline.’

  ‘Why not just cover the wedding?’ said Penny. ‘You said the editor wanted lots of photos.’

  Linda pouted sulkily. ‘I’ve been banned. Mr Bergin saw what I wrote, and didn’t approve. He phoned the editor!’

  ‘I’m out too,’ said Ian. ‘Just because I’m with her.’

  Linda ignored him, fixing me with an imploring gaze. ‘Mr Bergin said I was being too intrusive, but it wasn’t personal! I think it’s because I mostly wrote about the curse, and not his daughter’s wedding.’

  ‘I don’t know why I got blamed along with you,’ said Ian. ‘Except that I always do. I’ll just have to lurk around outside the church and grab as many photos as I can when the happy couple emerge, before someone chases me off.’

  Linda saw she wasn’t getting anywhere being pleasant, and changed tactics. She took a step back and glowered at me suspiciously.

  ‘What were you doing in the library?’

  ‘No comment,’ I said.

  I gave Ian a hard look as he tried to sneak a photo of me, and he almost dropped his camera. Linda glared at him, and he shrugged helplessly.

  ‘What can I do? He’s bigger than me.’

  ‘Everyone is,’ she said sharply. ‘How are you going to make a career in journalism, if you don’t stand up for yourself?’

  ‘I have you to do that for me,’ said Ian. ‘And you do it so well.’

  Linda smiled. ‘I do, don’t I?’

  And then Ian’s head came up, and he looked around sharply. I didn’t hear or see anything, but Linda and Ian were both staring up and down the street as though the bogeyman was coming to get them. I moved away from the wall and looked around me, and that was when I realized the street was empty. I was sure there had been people around when we went into the library, but now there wasn’t a soul to be seen anywhere. And no traffic on the road, either. A hush had descended; just like the night before.

  ‘Where did everybody go?’ said Penny.

  ‘What’s happening?’ said Linda.

  ‘There’s something in the street with us,’ Ian said quietly. ‘I can’t see it, but it’s here.’

  I strained my hearing against the quiet, but couldn’t hear anything apart from the heartbeats of the three people around me. There wasn’t even a feeling of being watched. But Linda and Ian were actually shaking. They looked like they wanted to run but couldn’t work out which direction would be safe. Linda’s face was pale and strained. Ian’s was covered in sweat.

  Penny and I moved to stand back to back, a standard defensive position we’d practiced so often it was practically instinctual.

  ‘Can you see anything?’ Penny said quietly. ‘Hear anything?’

  ‘No,’ I said.

  ‘Glad it’s not just me. Could it be the invisible demon at last?’

  ‘I’m not picking up anything.’

  ‘But you were certain you’d know it was there,’ said Penny.

  ‘I’m not certain anything is here,’ I said.

  ‘They are.’

  Ian pushed Linda back against the library wall, and placed himself in front of her, protecting her with his body. Linda let him do it. Their eyes darted this way and that, like children who’d wandered into a bad place and found the monster was real after all. I couldn’t do anything to protect them, because I couldn’t see anything to protect them from. We all stood very still, bracing ourselves for an attack … until the moments dragged by, and nothing happened, and slowly we all began to relax. Everyone’s heartbeat returned to normal, their breathing slowed, and the scent of fear disappeared from the air. Whatever might or might not have been threatening us had passed on by. Linda laughed raggedly, and then leaned forward and kissed Ian on the top of his head.

  ‘I can always depend on you.’

  ‘Of course you can,’ said Ian. ‘That’s what I’m here for.’

  ‘I don’t love you, Ian. And I never will.’

  ‘I know that.’

  Linda pushed him forward, and stepped away from the wall. ‘I think being stuck in a crazy town is driving us crazy too.’

  ‘What did you think was here?’ said Penny.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Ian. ‘It felt like drowning …’

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ Linda said briskly. ‘We’re just spooking ourselves; and we still have work to do.’

  ‘With you all the way,’ said Ian.

  They hurried off down the street. It was still empty. Maybe it was just that time of the day. I could see people hurrying by at the end of the street. Penny turned to look at me.

  ‘OK, what the hell just happened?’

  ‘Damned if I know,’ I said. ‘Either the town’s mass hysteria is getting to us, or something else did.’

  And that was when my mobile phone rang. We both jumped, just a little. I took the phone out of my pocket and stared at it.

  ‘Aren’t you going to answer that?’ said Penny, after a while.

  ‘Only the Colonel is supposed to know this number,’ I said. ‘And he was very clear we couldn’t expect any support from the Organization.’

  ‘You don’t have to take the call,’ said Penny.

  ‘Yes I do,’ I said. ‘If only to find out who’s ringing me.’ I put the phone to my ear.

  ‘Who is this?’

  ‘It’s Robert.’

  ‘How did you get this number?’

  ‘How do you think?’ said Robert. ‘Now shut up and listen. You have to come back to the church hall. Right now. There’s been another murder.’

  He rang off before I could ask who. I put the phone away and looked at Penny.

  ‘I heard,’ she said. ‘Who do you think it is? There was no one in the hall, when we left.’

  ‘Someone must have been lured back,’ I said. ‘Whoever it is, at least we know where we are now.’

  ‘We do?’ said Penny.

  ‘One murder might be happenstance,’ I said. ‘But two is enemy action. Now we just have to figure out who the enemy is.’

  We hurried back to the church hall. Striding it out without actually running, because that would have attracted attention. When we finally entered the hall Robert was standing with Inspector Godwin, looking at the bridesmaid Karen. She was standing over the wedding cake on its trolley. Her face had been forced down into the soft topping and held there until she suffocated. Her legs had locked in place, while her arms hung limply down. The sheer size of the cake was enough to hold her up as she leaned on it. Her pink fluffy outfit made her look like a doll that had been played with too roughly, and then left for someone else to clear up.

  Godwin glared at me. ‘What are you doing here?’

  ‘I called him,’ said Robert. ‘After I called you.’

  ‘You’re not needed,’ said Godwin, including Penny in his glare. ‘This is an offici
al police investigation, and you’re contaminating a crime scene just by being here.’

  ‘I want him here,’ said Robert. ‘He can do things you can’t.’

  ‘You are working on your own, Inspector,’ I said, carefully polite. ‘You need all the help you can get. Two connected killings means there could be more to come.’

  Godwin scowled at that, but didn’t argue. I walked forward and studied the body thoughtfully, taking my time. Penny stuck close beside me. Karen’s face had been pushed so deep into the soft icing, it had completely disappeared. But I still knew it was her. I recognized her scent.

  ‘She hasn’t been dead long,’ I said. ‘Maybe half an hour.’

  ‘How can you be sure?’ Godwin said immediately.

  ‘Because it’s been barely an hour since we were all here together,’ I said.

  ‘The cake was in the side room when we left,’ said Robert. ‘I found it out here, with Karen, when I came back to oversee setting up trestle tables for the wedding reception.’

  ‘And you didn’t see anyone?’ said Godwin.

  ‘No,’ said Robert. ‘I looked in the side room. It was empty, the killer long gone. He’d made his point.’

  ‘What point?’ said Godwin.

  ‘That no one connected to this wedding is safe,’ said Penny. ‘Someone really doesn’t want it to happen.’

  ‘But what was Karen doing back here?’ I said. ‘She was supposed to be at The Swan, helping Gillian and Tom with the guests.’

  ‘How am I going to tell Gillian her best friend is dead?’ said Robert.

  ‘Would you like me to do it?’ I said.

  ‘No. It’s a father’s job.’ Robert put out a hand to Karen’s shoulder, as though to comfort her, and then drew it back again. ‘I have called Gillian. She and Tom are on their way. I just told them someone else had been murdered. Didn’t say who. It’s not the kind of thing you should say over the phone.’

  ‘You seem to be taking all of this very calmly, for a retired civil servant,’ said Godwin.

  ‘Shut up, Peter,’ said Robert. He looked thoughtfully at the body. ‘At least we can be sure now that the killings are connected to the curse.’

  ‘And yet, neither of them look like the work of an invisible demon,’ I said.