Till Sudden Death Do Us Part

by Simon R. Green

  ‘What kind of information?’ I said.

  ‘Lots of things! But nothing worth getting killed over. Wait a minute; was Ian in the church? Her cameraman? Is he dead too?’

  ‘There was no sign of him,’ I said.

  ‘He’d never have left Linda on her own.’

  ‘Not even if she told him to? If she didn’t want to put him in danger too?’

  ‘He might go,’ said Godwin, ‘but he wouldn’t go far.’

  ‘Then you’d better search the area around the church for another body,’ I said.

  ‘We have to find this killer,’ said Godwin. ‘Before he gets to Gillian and Tom. Are you keeping them safe?’

  ‘Anyone who wants to get to them has to go through me,’ I said.

  ‘It’ll take more than connections to stop a killer like this.’

  He hung up on me. I put the phone down and called out to Nettie, to let her know I’d finished and it was all right to come back. She quickly reappeared, smiling determinedly.

  ‘Thanks for the use of the phone,’ I said.

  ‘That’s all right, dear. I’ll just add the cost of the call to Tom and Gillian’s bill.’ She hesitated, and then looked at me hopefully. ‘Will you be going into the town again tonight, dear?’

  ‘Possibly,’ I said.

  ‘It’s just that if you do, could you keep an eye out for my Albert? He should have been back by now. Of course he prefers to spend his time with his friends, rather than be cooped up here. I know that. But with things the way they are now, I do worry.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said.

  ‘I always hoped he’d want to take over the hotel business, once I was gone,’ said Nettie. ‘But it’s really not his thing. So, let him sell it and have some fun with the money. I wish I had.’

  I went back to the bar, rehearsing in my head what I was going to say. The moment I walked through the door, the first thing I noticed was the dark mood. No one was talking to anyone, they were just sitting at tables scattered around the bar, looking at their drinks but not touching them. Gillian and Tom were seated side by side, but clearly thinking separate thoughts. Robert was sitting hunched over his table, scowling darkly, and David was off in the far corner, avoiding everyone’s eyes and looking sorry for himself. Penny was standing at the bar, where she could keep an eye on all of them, but hurried over to join me the moment I appeared.

  ‘Tom found David passed out in the toilet,’ she said quietly. ‘Champagne doesn’t affect him, my arse. When he was away too long, Tom went looking for him and found him snoring on the floor of the Ladies toilet. They had to break the door in, to get him out. Apparently there was a lot of shouting, and a few unfortunate things were said. So now no one’s talking to anyone.’

  ‘Great,’ I said. ‘Just when I need them to work together.’

  ‘Go ahead and bully them,’ said Penny. ‘It’s for their own good. And you do have a gift for it.’

  I let that one pass, and raised my voice to address the bar. ‘All right, people, it’s time for all of us to move to Robert’s house for the rest of the night. Tom, don’t check out with Nettie. You can leave that till tomorrow. It’s better if everyone thinks you and Gillian are still staying here.’

  ‘We need to go up to our room before we leave,’ said Gillian. ‘So we can pick up some overnight things.’

  ‘That might be enough to give the game away,’ I said. ‘You go as you are. You can do without pyjamas or a toothbrush for one night. As far as Nettie is concerned, we’re just popping out for a while. And we can’t call for a taxi to take us to Robert’s place, because we don’t want anyone to know where we’re going.’

  ‘I’m starting to remember a message I saw on a T-shirt once,’ David said pointedly. ‘“Just because I’m paranoid it doesn’t mean I’m not out to get you”.’

  ‘Ah,’ I said. ‘But did you really see it, or only think you did?’

  ‘My head hurts,’ said David.

  ‘Serves you right,’ said Tom.

  David glared at him. ‘I said I was sorry! It all just got a bit much for me. How many times do I have to apologize?’

  ‘We’ll let you know when,’ said Tom.

  The two men managed a small smile for each other, and then David turned to look at me.

  ‘No taxi … We’re going to have to walk all the way to the edge of town?’

  ‘If I can manage it, you can,’ growled Robert.

  ‘I’m being punished, aren’t I?’ said David.

  ‘Come on,’ I said. ‘The sooner we make a start, the sooner it will all be over. On your feet, everyone. And once we’re outside I want everyone to stick close together.’

  ‘You want us to form a crocodile?’ said David.

  ‘If I thought it would make you any safer I’d put leads round your necks,’ I said. ‘Come on, people, let’s move!’

  ‘Why are you in such a hurry?’ said Gillian, as she and Tom got to their feet. ‘Aren’t we safe here? Has something happened?’

  ‘You’ll all be safer when we get to Robert’s place,’ I said.

  That wasn’t actually an answer, and everyone knew it.

  We made our way back through the lobby, doing our best to look like a cheerful company just stepping out for a little fresh air. We all smiled at Nettie, and she smiled back. I led the way through the front door and then stopped abruptly. There was a taxi parked outside, with Cathy leaning casually against it, looking very pleased with herself. I gestured for everyone to stay where they were, and went to talk to Cathy.

  ‘How did you know …?’

  ‘I didn’t,’ Cathy said cheerfully. ‘I’ve been driving back and forth ever since you told me to stick around. Fortunately, there isn’t much call for my services. And by much, I mean any. This town is dead tonight, if you’ll pardon the expression. Just as well, given that most of the other taxi drivers called in sick again. Dad is mad as hell. Anyway, I saw you going into the hotel, so I just parked here and waited for you to come out again. Now, where do you want to go?’

  ‘My place,’ said Robert, moving in beside me.

  ‘Oh hi, Mr Bergin! Sure, no problem.’ And then she looked at the size of the group behind us. ‘Though if you’re all going, that could mean two journeys. We’re going to have a hard time fitting that many people into my cab, no matter how friendly and accommodating they’re prepared to be.’

  I made it very clear that I didn’t want to split up the group, and the others picked up on my sense of urgency. After a certain amount of muttered discussion, Gillian sat on Tom’s lap in the back seat, Robert and David crammed themselves in on either side of them, and Penny sat on my lap in the front seat.

  ‘I’m impressed!’ said Cathy, as she slipped behind the wheel and cranked up the engine. ‘Someone phone the Guinness Book of Records; if they can get their hand to their phone. Isn’t this cosy? Reminds me of old times, eh, Gilly? All those evenings spent playing Twister with the boys. Drunk, naked, greased …’

  ‘Drive the cab,’ said Gillian. She looked at Tom. ‘Don’t ask.’

  ‘I wasn’t going to,’ said Tom.

  ‘Damn, you’ve got him well-trained,’ said David.

  ‘This isn’t a regular fare,’ I said to Cathy. ‘We need to lie low for a while. Can you not tell your father about this?’

  ‘Oh sure,’ said Cathy. ‘What’s one more reason for him to be mad at me?’

  We drove steadily through the town, taking it easy for once, possibly because the taxi was so dangerously overloaded. No one was wearing any seatbelts, because none of us could get to them. I studied the town through the side window. No one was moving in the brightly-lit streets, and there was no other traffic at all. The townspeople were expecting bad things to happen on Gillian and Tom’s wedding night, and didn’t want the curse to have any reason to look in their direction. I felt even more tense when we left the lights of the town behind, and drove up the lane toward the dark countryside. The taxi’s headlight showed the way ahead clearly enough, b
ut the fields on either side remained lost in the night. A darkness so complete anything could be hiding in it. Anything at all.

  But we made it all the way to Robert’s house without incident, and Cathy brought the taxi to a halt right in front of the door. We all poured out of the taxi like clowns emerging from a circus car, and then spent some time stretching our backs and legs and stamping our feet as we tried to get the circulation moving again. I kept a watchful eye on our surroundings.

  ‘What are you all doing out here?’ said Cathy. ‘Is it a party? Can I come? I can be the life and soul; ask Gilly.’

  ‘We just felt the need to get away from everything for a while,’ I said.

  ‘Are you going to need me again tonight?’

  ‘I doubt it,’ I said.

  I started to reach into my pocket for the fare, but Cathy stopped me with an upraised hand.

  ‘On the house. Wedding present. And yes, I know, don’t tell anyone you’re hiding out here.’

  She turned the taxi around, and grinned out the side window at Gillian and Tom.

  ‘Have a nice night! Don’t do anything I would!’

  And then she went speeding off down the narrow lane, laughing raucously, and taking the light with her.

  I made everyone stay where they were, standing close together in the gloom; not letting them go inside the house until I’d had a chance to check things out. I made a quick tour of the perimeter, sticking close to the side of the house and straining my eyes against the dark. I moved as quietly as I could, but it was hard not to make a noise in such a quiet setting. I didn’t see or hear anything, but I couldn’t be sure that was enough. The killer had to be human, but how could he keep appearing and disappearing to do what he did, with no one noticing?

  I finally came back to the front of the house, assured everyone that everything was fine, and gestured for Robert to unlock the front door. He soon had the door open and the hall light on, and everyone made small sounds of relief at being able to see clearly again. We all filed quickly into the house, with me bringing up the rear and hurrying them in. I stopped in the doorway for one last look, and the night stared flatly back at me, giving away nothing.

  Once we were all inside, Robert made a point of locking the front door, and slamming home a heavy bolt.

  ‘I’m a great believer in bolts,’ he said. ‘You can pick a lock, but not a bolt.’

  ‘What if we need to leave in a hurry?’ said David.

  ‘You won’t,’ I said. ‘That’s the point of being here.’ I turned to Robert. ‘Do any of your windows have locks or bolts?’

  ‘No,’ he said, frowning. ‘I never thought a time would come when I’d need them. You all go and settle yourselves in the parlour, while I make sure the back door is secure, and then I’ll see about rustling up some tea.’

  He disappeared toward the back of the house, while I led everyone into the parlour. Its old-fashioned nature helped to make it seem cosy, and welcoming. A safe harbour after a dangerous journey. David and Tom dropped onto the sofa and made themselves at home, while Penny sank gratefully into Robert’s chair. I stayed by the door, thinking. Gillian went over to the window and pushed back the curtains to look out at the night, and then pulled them back together again. She stood with her back to the window, her arms folded tightly across her chest, as though to hold herself together. Tom looked at her, but knew better than to say anything. I went over to Gillian.

  ‘Robert told me you weren’t happy about being here,’ I said quietly. ‘Something about an argument with your mother, before she died?’

  ‘No, that’s not it,’ said Gillian. She kept her voice low. ‘That’s what I told Dad, but really … I always hated this town. Hated being trapped in a place where everybody knew everyone, and you couldn’t do anything without everybody knowing all about it. A small town with small lives, and smaller ambitions. I needed to get the hell out of here, so I could reinvent myself as someone else, someone with a future. Small towns don’t believe in dreams, or second chances.

  ‘I think I only came back here to be married so I could rub their noses in it. Look! I got away! I made something of my life in spite of you! I hated everything about this town, and the quiet secluded life my parents chose for me. I ran away to the big city the moment I was old enough. But any time I came home to visit my mother would only ever see me as who I used to be, the way she wanted me to be. Not the woman I was determined to become. So I stopped coming home. Because coming back felt like giving up. And then she died, before I could prove her wrong.

  ‘And yet here I am again, forced to run home to Daddy just to feel safe, because I can’t protect myself. It’s bad enough that someone wants to kill me; why did it have to be here?’

  She forced a smile. ‘Don’t tell Dad any of that. He wouldn’t understand, and I don’t want him upset. For him, this house is full of good memories.’

  Robert came back into the parlour, rubbing his hands together with the air of a man who’d finished important work. ‘Everything’s secure and the kettle’s on. Gillian, Tom, you can have my bedroom. It’s the biggest.’

  ‘It’s also the bed you and Mum used to sleep in,’ said Gillian. ‘Really not where I want to spend my wedding night, thank you.’

  ‘That only leaves the spare room,’ said Robert. ‘Where Ishmael and Penny are staying.’

  ‘You’re welcome to it,’ I said quickly. ‘We’ll be staying up all night anyway, on guard. It’s only a single bed, but very comfortable.’

  Tom raised an eyebrow. ‘A single bed?’

  ‘Hush, sweetie,’ said Gillian. ‘We’ll manage. You stay here, while I nip upstairs and take a look.’

  She hurried out the door before anyone could say anything. Robert shrugged, and went to see about the tea. The rest of us listened to Gillian’s footsteps ascending the bare wooden stairs. David heaved himself up off the sofa.

  ‘I think I’ll go and help Robert with the tea. See if he’s got any decent biscuits anywhere.’

  He went out the door. Tom looked at Penny, and then at me. He got to his feet and came over to join me.

  ‘I wonder if I could have a word in private, Ishmael? Just the two of us.’

  ‘I’ll take a quick look round the house,’ Penny said quickly, getting to her feet. ‘Get a feel for the layout.’

  Tom waited till she was out the door, and then looked at me reluctantly. ‘I have to talk to someone. I can’t talk to Gillian’s father, and David wouldn’t understand …’

  ‘I get it,’ I said. ‘You need another man to talk to, and I’m all that’s left. You can tell me anything. I know how to keep a secret.’

  ‘You must have noticed that Gillian and I are a bit on edge, about our wedding night,’ said Tom. ‘There’s a reason for that. More than the obvious ones, I mean. I need you to keep everyone away from us. I know we have to be protected, but we really need some breathing space. You see … this really will be the first night we’ve been together. Gillian is still a virgin. She told me that early on, because it was important to her. Probably because of what she and Cathy got up to, when they were running around together, out of control. It was all about having a good time; until Cathy had her first abortion at sixteen. That made a big impression on Gillian.’

  ‘But, you shared the same room at the hotel,’ I said carefully.

  ‘Gillian didn’t want anyone to know about us,’ said Tom. ‘I didn’t give a damn, but she can be a bit funny where this town is concerned. All we shared at The Swan was the bed. I mean, yes, we’ve fooled around some, but we never actually …’

  ‘What about you?’ I said. ‘Are you …?’

  ‘No,’ said Tom, with as much dignity as he could manage. ‘I’m not looking for a pep talk. It’s just … this night would have been difficult enough for both of us anyway, without all this extra pressure.’

  ‘If you’re thinking about putting it off,’ I said carefully, ‘I’m sorry, but I don’t think you can. Getting through the wedding night safely is the on
ly way to make sure the curse doesn’t have any hold over you.’

  ‘So much for romance,’ said Tom. He made a helpless gesture with both hands, and then smiled bravely. ‘I’ll just have to be as supportive for her as I can. It doesn’t help that we’ll be doing it in her parents’ house … She has issues about this place you wouldn’t believe.’

  ‘You just concentrate on Gillian,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry about anything else. None of us will be sleeping tonight; we’ll all be standing guard till the morning, to make sure you’re safe.’

  We both looked round, as David stuck his head through the open doorway.

  ‘Tea is on its way. Everything all right?’

  ‘Sure,’ said Tom. ‘Everything’s fine.’

  David wandered in, looked around the room as though surprised to find it so empty, and then came over to join us. He absently removed a stray hair from Tom’s collar.

  ‘Relax, Tom,’ he said. ‘You look fine. Where’s Gillian?’

  ‘Still upstairs, checking out the spare room,’ said Tom. ‘Probably bouncing on the bed to test the springs.’

  ‘I would offer you some helpful advice,’ said David. ‘But you know the whole boy/girl thing has always been foreign territory to me.’

  ‘I think I can manage without your help, for once,’ said Tom. ‘I just want to say … Thanks for everything, David. You were my best man, all the way.’

  David nodded, for once lost for words. He stuck out his hand, and the two men shook hands solemnly.

  ‘I think I’ll go up and join Gillian,’ said Tom.

  ‘Aren’t you going to wait for your tea?’ said David.

  ‘No,’ said Tom.

  ‘Would you like me to put on some romantic music, help put you in the mood?’

  ‘Really not helping, David.’

  ‘I know,’ said David, grinning.

  Tom left the room, and we heard him climbing steadily up the wooden stairs.

  ‘This can’t be easy for him,’ I said. ‘Or her.’

  ‘Actors are used to coping with first night nerves,’ said David. ‘We never let it affect our performance. And anyway, Gillian isn’t going to let anything get in the way of getting what she wants. She never does.’