The Bosun: A Military Romance (Love is Blind Book 3)
Page 15
Clapping me on the shoulder, my dad only nodded for a moment. Maybe he finally understood why I had to go to California. “I’ll let you finish packing.”
“It shouldn’t take me too much longer.”
I had very few possessions—something I had done purposely over the years. First being in the military and then living in a room the size of a bathroom while on different boats, it was sad almost everything I owned could fit inside one duffle. Slowly, I’d started to accumulate more things over the last few months, but not much. I’d been too busy with my training, seeing a therapist that was recommended to me from one of the guys in my unit who’d been home for the last year, and spending some much-needed quality time with my dad.
I’d been more engaged in life and happier since I arrived in my hometown than I had been in the last two years, even as I worked through my crippling guilt.
Seeing my dad for the first time had been bittersweet. My parents weren’t young when they had me. My mom was thirty-five, and my dad forty. He’d aged a lot since I’d last seen him almost four years ago, making him look older than his sixty-seven years, and I knew a great deal of it was because of me. He’d been worried sick about me when I didn’t come home for Damon’s funeral and then when I didn’t try to contact him. I’d been the worst son in the world, and I’d been trying to make it up to him any way I could. I knew it would kill him if something happened to me and I didn’t come back to him. It nearly killed him when my mom left and never came back while I was at school. As far as I know, he’d never heard from her after her initial phone call saying she wasn’t ever coming home.
Once packed, I took my gear and my bag and set them by the front door before I went to join my dad in the living room. He was watching a baseball game with a bottle of beer in his hand. I wished I could have had a beer with him before I left, but that wouldn’t have been smart with the anti-anxiety medicine I was taking.
Sitting down in the recliner next to his, I reclined and tried to watch the game, but my mind was racing with everything I’d learned in the last few months. It helped I’d had training while overseas. I wasn’t a newbie, but it would still be my first time being in front of a fire of this magnitude.
“You know I’m proud of you, right?” My dad continued to stare at the TV as he spoke. “Even if I don’t fully understand why you do it, it’s honorable. Something I never had the courage to do.”
It meant much more than he’d ever know to hear those words from my dad. Growing up, we’d always been close. That is until I vanished out of his life, but now we were closer than ever.
My eyes teared up. I wasn’t as courageous as he thought. It was hard to leave him again. Life was uncertain, but I’d do everything in my power not to hurt him again. “I know, Dad,” I choked out.
My phone pinged with an incoming text.
Jason: Picked up Eric and should be there in twenty.
Remy: See you then.
Dad glanced at me as I slid my phone back into my pocket. “Is that your buddy?”
“Yeah, he’ll be here soon. He was leaving from picking up the other guy.”
He eyed my bags by the door. “Are you sure you got everything you need?”
“I think so. I know I’ll have to do laundry while I’m there, but if I need anything else, I can buy it. Don’t worry about me. I’ll call you once I get settled into where they’re housing us, and I’ll either call or text you every day.”
“It’s hard not to worry about you. There was a boy no older than you, who died two days ago.”
He hadn’t been a firefighter. He had tried to fend off the fire headed straight toward his house with only a hose hooked to the spigot at the front of his house. I understood he didn’t want to lose his house or worldly possessions, but it shouldn’t have been at the cost of his life. There were too many people who hadn’t evacuated from the area from what I’d last heard. They needed more manpower to try to get the residents to see the best thing for them was to evacuate until the fire wasn’t endangering their lives.
“I probably won’t even be put in the front lines, but I’ve got to go. It’s hard to be here when so many are in need in Southern California.”
My dad stood, holding out his hand for me to take. The moment I stood, he wrapped me up in a bear hug. I hugged him back just as hard when I heard his deep inhalation of breath.
“I love you, dad.”
“I know. I love you too,” he said gruffly.
My phone buzzed in my pocket, letting me know Jason was here and it was time to go.
Squeezing me one last time, Dad patted me on the back before he pulled away, his eyes glassy. “Call me when you get there to let me know you landed safely.”
“I will,” I promised. I was never going to leave my dad in doubt again.
Striding over to the door, I picked up my things before I headed out on my next mission.
Eight hours later, Eric and I were stuffed into the back of a van to be taken to the firehouse that would be housing us while we were in California.
“Alright, boys, we’re not going to throw you out into the thick of it first thing,” Donnie, our stocky liaison, said as he drove. “More than anything right now, we need men to go door to door seeing who's home and who isn’t. If they’re home, it’s your job to try and convince them to leave.”
From beside me, Eric's entire face furrowed. “But when can we fight the beast?”
Donnie shook his head and let out an annoyed sigh. “I can’t say. You’ll have to take it up with the chief, but don’t hold your breath. While we need help, we don’t need some guy we don’t know putting himself and others in danger.”
Crossing his arms over his chest, Eric sat back and fumed. Not knowing his background, I couldn’t say if he was justified in being irritated by the possibility of not being up close and personal with the fire. All I knew was I was here to help in any way possible, and it looked as if they needed it. The closer we got to our destination, the brighter orange the sky became. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like closer since it looked like this, and we were fifty miles away. How people thought it was safe to stay in their homes was beyond me when nature was giving them a big warning in the sky.
The other guys who were in the van talked quietly to each other, but I kept my eyes on the sky. Eric wasn’t up for talking anyway as he tapped his fingers on his knee, huffed every few minutes, and glared up at the front. After being stuck in traffic for almost two hours, Donnie swung the van into a spot at the firehouse.
As we all piled out, Donnie stood off to the side, his gaze directed at Eric. “Are we going to have a problem?”
“No, sir,” Eric replied stiffly.
“Good, now I’ll show you where you can store your things. It’s not much, but we’ve got more guys here than usual with all the volunteers.” He held open the door for us as we all walked in. “There should be dinner, so grab a bite to eat, and we’ll have a meeting to brief you on the status of the fire along with where you’ll be going tomorrow morning. I suggest you get some good sleep because it might be the last time you get a full night.”
Taking a look around, it wasn’t much different from the station I’d been training at, but it felt different. The energy was electrified. Creating a buzz through my body, making me feel like, for the first time in years, I was right where I was supposed to be.
14
Stella
Unfortunately for me, Pen and Crimson Heat had already made their pass-through Spain a couple of months ago, so I wouldn’t be able to see if Remy was working on Seas the Day. Even if he was, it would have been awkward as hell for me to call and then show up out of the blue. If he was there, he’d probably be working, and it was possible he’d forgotten about me.
Since we weren’t going to hijack a yacht in Spain, I didn’t care where we went. The sooner, the better was what worked for Lexie. She had a big photoshoot in a week she needed to be back for, and then Ryder had one someplace I’d never heard of.
It wa
sn’t easy trying to get Pen’s boss, Christiano, to give me the information on what hotel they were staying at, but I assured him I wouldn’t do anything that would make Pen deviate away from her job. I knew he didn’t know me, but what did he think I’d do. Pen had never given him a reason to think she wouldn’t be one thousand percent professional. That was unless he thought she was doing the lead singer of the band. Still, Pen seeing me was no cause for concern, and after about thirty minutes, Christiano gave me the address of the hotel they’d be staying at tonight. He even threw in tickets with backstage passes.
“I can’t believe we’re going to Amsterdam,” I said a little too loudly, going by the looks I got from the rest of the people on the plane. “Have you ever been?”
Lexie’s brows furrowed as she thought about it. I wished I had the problem of not remembering all the places I’d gone. I’d never traveled since Brock’s going to medical school took precedence over everything else.
“Actually, I don’t think I have. I’ve been to quite a few countries around the Netherlands, but never there.” She leaned her seat back and closed her eyes. “If it’s okay with you, I’m going to try and get a little shut-eye before we land. Ryder and I haven’t been apart for more than a day in three years, and he kept me up way past my bedtime.” One eye opened as she smirked at me and then promptly closed.
“I understand.” If I had a man, I’d have done the same thing. “I was up too late trying to plot out my next book but didn’t get much accomplished. I was too excited to surprise Pen.”
The corner of Lexie’s mouth kicked up. “She’s going to be so surprised.”
Hopefully, in a good way because I wasn’t going to wait any longer to meet this Walker guy who was taking all of my best friend’s time.
“She is. We’re lucky we’re to show up tonight since they won’t be heading to the next venue until tomorrow afternoon.”
Curling up onto my side, I closed my eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. I wasn’t sure if I’d be successful with how excited I was, but one minute I was thinking about the look that would surely be on Pen’s face when she saw us, and the next, I was woken up by the captain of the plane saying we’d be landing in forty minutes.
Lexie stretched beside me and let out a long yawn. “I can’t believe I slept the whole time. I’m sorry if you were bored. I thought it would only be for a couple of hours.”
“Seems like your husband wore you out more than you knew.” We both laughed like schoolgirls. “I slept the entire time as well, but even if I hadn’t, I could have been plotting or reading. I’m rarely bored. More often than not, I feel anti-social. I’m happy staying at home, ordering and having everything delivered to me, and catching up on reading books or TV when I’m not writing. It’s when I finally do something else that I realize what I’m missing out on not doing more with my days. That’s why I started to do that yoga class down on the beach. I thought it might help clear my mind and get me to socialize more. At least I’m doing more than sitting in front of my computer all day. Does that make any sense?”
“Perfectly. Ryder, Delilah, and I live in our own little world for the most part. We don’t do much that’s not work-related, but that’s fine with us since work takes us all over the world. We’re happy being at home enjoying our house, the pool, and the beach. We worked hard to get to where we are now. What’s the point in life if you can’t enjoy what you’ve attained?”
“There’s isn’t. You should enjoy what you have because your family and house are both beautiful.”
“Thank you,” she laid her hand on my arm and looked at me softly. “You’ll meet someone one day who will make you his world. Just don’t make the same mistake I did?”
Mistake? I had no idea what she was talking about. “What’s that?”
“When I first met Ryder, well, not the first time, but after some time apart and we saw each other again, I lied to myself about what he meant to me. Raine tried to make me see reason, but I was having none of it. I didn’t think I could hold Ryder’s attention for long with him constantly traveling and being around beautiful women. Trust me when I say it doesn’t matter the age or distance; if a man makes you happy and wants to be with you, you try to make it work. It’s better than being miserable and alone.”
“I had no idea. You’re so beautiful and confident, and the way Ryder looks at you.”
“That’s the thing, though. Doubt can make you blind to what’s right in front of you. Raine told me over, and over again, she could see how much Ryder was into me, but I didn’t see it, and once I did…” She let out a sad sigh. “I thought he was with someone else. To make matters worse, it was with a person he knew I didn’t like. It felt like such a betrayal, but if I’d been thinking with a clear head, I would have known Ryder would never do that.”
“So, you’re saying that I need to be more confident in myself and to listen to those around me? Easier said than done.”
“I know it is. I was damaged from having multiple men cheat on me, and that made it hard for me to trust even though Ryder never once did anything to make me think he’d betray me. I know you’ve been burned by your ex, but don’t make the next man pay for your ex’s mistakes.”
Again, easier said than done, but it was good advice. I shouldn’t put all the baggage I had onto someone else because of what Brock had done.
“Well, if I ever met a guy I’m interested in, I’ll do that or at least try.”
“What would you do if the guy from the boat showed up on your doorstep tomorrow? Would you be with him?”
I sputtered, making Lexie’s sultry laugh fill the compartment. Everyone was looking at us, but we didn’t care.
“That’s a leap. I’d probably wonder how in the hell he found me, but I wouldn’t be opposed to...I barely know the guy.”
Lexie turned to look at me. “We can never know a person unless we give them a chance. Think about when we met. We didn’t know each other, but there was an instant connection. We built on that connection, and now it’s like we’ve known each other forever.”
She was right. How was I ever going to meet a man if I never gave him a chance? If by some miracle, Remy did walk into my life, I needed to give him a chance. I already knew there was an insane physical attraction between us. Plus, I liked talking to him the little I had when I was in Spain. There was something about him that made it easy for me to open up to him, and that had to mean something. I didn’t go about telling everyone I met my life story.
A thought came to me, and I felt the blood drain from my face. “Please don’t tell me you somehow tracked him down, and he’s going to surprise me in Amsterdam. I’m not sure I’ll be able to take it.”
“Oh my God, you should see your face. At least now I know you do not like surprises. Good to know.” Her face cracked into a large grin.
“I like doing the surprising, not the one being surprised, so please, no matter how much Pen tries to tell you I love them, trust me when I tell you I really don’t.”
“Okay.” The word hung in the air, and I could tell she wanted more from me.
“Let’s just say I’ve never had a good experience where surprises were involved. In fact, they’ve all ended up being complete disasters.”
“Then I promise not to surprise you. If it makes you feel better, I haven’t tried to track down the man you met on the boat. If I wanted to, I’m sure I could pull a few strings to find out his contact information, but I won’t unless you tell me you want me to.”
I did, but I was afraid of what I’d find out. It had been almost a year since our time together. Who was to say Remy hadn’t met a woman and fallen in love with her?
“Stop thinking about it for now and enjoy our little impromptu vacation. You deserve one after that hectic book tour.”
I had been busy. It showed me what Pen did when she was on tour with a band; only hers was ramped up times a thousand.
“I kind of feel bad that I’m keeping you away from your family, especially now tha
t I know you haven’t been apart. They could have come.”
“They could have, but that’s too much flying back-to-back with Delilah. If we could have stayed longer, I would have brought them with us. They’ll be fine, and I’ll be fine. Dillie loves her dad, and I’m sure she’ll love all of his attention solely on her for a change.”
“When you look at him with your daughter, do your ovaries ache for him to impregnate you?”
“Something like that.” She leaned closer as if she was going to tell me a secret. “We’ve been talking about having another baby, and I stopped taking my birth control.” She shrugged. “So, we’ll see. It’ll happen when it happens.”
I had a feeling it would happen very soon.
“I’m not sure I’m equipped to handle seeing your husband holding a baby. If you’re planning to get pregnant, then I need to get a boyfriend stat.”
One eyebrow rose in question. “One that you want to have a baby with?”
“Maybe,” I shrugged one shoulder. “I don’t even know if I can get pregnant. I tried for years with Brock, and no matter what we tried, I never got pregnant. Maybe it was a sign I’m not meant to be a mother.”
“Or maybe it was a sign that you weren’t supposed to get tied down to an asshole who’d cheat on you.”
I couldn’t imagine how complicated everything would have been if I’d been pregnant or if we’d had a child. I wasn’t going to plague myself with what ifs though. I knew one thing. “I’d like to be a mother one day. If I can’t have a child of my own, I’d happily adopt. There are so many kids out there that need a home.”
“Maybe you should look into it when we get back. See what it would take for you to adopt. You don’t have to wait for a man to be in your life.”
Logically I knew that. I wanted a man and a child, but just because I wanted them didn’t mean I had to do them in order.
“Why are you so damn smart?”