Invasion

by Dmitrii Mansurov

  "Breakfast! Hurray! I actually lived long enough to get one!" the fox exclaimed happily, but then another sparrow dropped nearby. And another one. The puzzled fox raised her head, and her eyes turned into saucers. The oak was bombarding her with unconscious sparrows. "An epidemic!" she exclaimed hoarsely, breaking into a frantic run. "To hell with you, I don't want to be infected!"

  The bully-sparrow watched in amazement as half of the other birds fell in a single motion while the rest of them went wild right before his eyes.

  "Zombie, you say?" the leader asked. However, he was clearly not expecting an answer. "How about you take off your mask?"

  The sparrow's sixth sense let him know that he shouldn't expect gratitude for his creative joke.

  "Are you crazy?" he muttered, scared. "Calm down! I'm just joking! Everyone, relax and disperse!"

  "Oh, we'll disperse all right," the leader promised him. "Grab him, guys!!!"

  The bully jumped back, flapped his wings wildly and took off. The pack rushed after him with violent chirps.

  ***

  The fox's unfinished trap worked, but the fox herself was too far away to hear the boar's satisfied chomping. However, quite unexpectedly, she found something just as good.

  ***

  The crow pulled the cheese out of its hiding place, put it in front of her and stilled, enjoying the wonderful, maddening smell emanating from it. She wanted to enjoy this unexpected gift as much as possible.

  "Cheese!" she sang, and the nearest neighbors grimaced at the creaking sound. "Yum-yum!"

  "What was that? Yum-yum?" the fox echoed unwittingly, stopping and looking up at the crow. "Oh, cheese! Yum-yum indeed!"

  The crow saw the fox and held the cheese tightly in her beak. Fox walked around the tree, observing it. It was impossible to climb as the branches were too high. Rightfully considering herself an expert in climbing trees, the fox knew that without the help of the ferocious barking of a dog chasing her, she'd never get to the top. And there was no dog. This was a good thing. Or rather, a bad one. Well, it depended on the side from which you approached this issue. But what could she do now?

  There was a rapidly growing noise, and a moment later, a sparrow with a skull on his head dashed under the nose of a crow at a cosmic speed. She shrank on the branch, startled. After the first sparrow, a huge bunch flew by in fury, eliminating all the obstacles that could be eliminated on their path. The crow closed her eyes in horror, and when she opened them again, she found that she was covered in fallen leaves up to her head.

  She tried to touch the cheese with her wing but found nothing but a microscopic piece that was still left in her beak. Everything inside her went cold. She scattered the leaves, still hopeful. But there was nothing, so she shouted in despair, "Caaaaw!"

  "Yum!" an enthusiastic sound came from the ground. The crow choked and looked there. The fox. She was chewing something. She looked so happy with herself! What was she eating anyway? The crow took a closer look. Two small gnats that had fallen into the crow's nest during the disaster felt terribly cold, so they hurried to get out before they froze completely.

  "Cheese!" The crow's despair knew no bounds.

  "Yeah!" the fox nodded happily. "It's sooo delicious! Thanks for the treat, crow! And, well, don't be too angry with me. You just got unlucky. It happens to everyone."

  The fox picked up the rest of the cheese, waved her tail goodbye, and disappeared from the crow's sight. The crow spat after her grimly.

  "I hope you burst!" she grumbled.

  "Foxes do not burst. They take the form of a sphere," a response came from somewhere.

  "Whatever! Got it?" the crow cawed. Then she frowned and fell silent.

  ***

  "What genius told me he has the situation under control?" Artem looked at Yaroslav questioningly before glancing down. An angry bear was there, standing under the birch. "Do you remember saying this?"

  "Nope!" Yaroslav responded, cautiously squinting at the nest of wasps that was hanging an inch to the left from their temporary shelter. "But if I did say it, I did so without thinking."

  "I'm glad we are on the same page about this. Next time, please be so kind not to bother the inhabitants of the forest for no reason. Because if you do, the horses won't be the only thing we'll lose here."

  "How was I supposed to know the horses would leave? " Yaroslav was indignant. "I turned my back for just a minute! I look, and instead of them, there are two bridled goats!"

  "And the third goat standing right before them," Artem uttered pointedly, prompting Yaroslav to respond with a rude gesture.

  "Don't make me hit you," he warned. "Or you'll have to forget about ever riding a horse again and learn how to jump rope instead!"

  Artem stuck out his tongue.

  "How did it even occur to you to enrage the bear?" he continued calmly. "And to run from it by climbing a tree where wasps live!"

  "I thought some horse thieves were hiding in the bushes," Yaroslav tried to explain.

  "Yeah, and there were goat thieves there instead," Artem quipped.

  The bear began to climb the tree.

  Yaroslav whispered to his brother, "Don't ever do that again!" Carefully, he grasped the nest, and with all the precautions he could muster, separated it from the tree. "And here is a gift to our dear guest!"

  The nest flew right at the bear. A part of the nest began to swarm around discontentedly, and on top of that, a sparrow wearing a skull flew next to Yaroslav.

  "Sparrow's Death!" the prince gasped. "What creatures you get a chance to see in this middle of nowhere!"

  The wasps had already noticed the princes and almost flew to attack them when suddenly, a crowd of sparrows swept past them like a hurricane. The men and the bear were blown off the tree, and they went crashing down, breaking the branches on their way to the ground. The bear fell first, and the princes landed on it. They jumped up as quick as they could, beginning to run faster than the sparrow pack. The bear, the buzzing wasps, and a troubled flock of birds growled behind them in annoyance. The princes raced forward until the noise of the animal world subsided and became distant.

  "Enough!" Yaroslav exhaled wearily. Artem stumbled on the level ground in agreement and fell on the grass. "We need to take a break for a bit."

  Artem leaned back against the tree, feeling that the mentioned time wouldn't be enough for him. Why were there so many troubles surrounding them? One after another, or even overlapping.

  "Excuse me, could you help me find my basket?" a voice came from the forest. The princes turned and saw a girl with a goat. All three of them flinched. The princes from surprise and Alena from seeing the mark of a neighboring state on their clothing. That meant these were no ordinary people standing in front of her.

  A small silence engulfed them.

  "A basket?" Artem asked again. He couldn't believe that such beautiful girls even existed in this world. "What kind of basket?"

  "With berries. I was picking them, but someone took the basket from me."

  "The bears, perhaps," Artem suggested. "We've just met them."

  "Where?" Alena was surprised.

  "Near the curved river."

  "But that's two hours away from here!" Alena exclaimed.

  The princes looked at each other.

  "For how long have we been running?" Yaroslav asked. "About ten minutes?"

  "Less."

  "So who are you, speedy people?" Alena asked. The goat at her feet jumped cheerfully and then fearlessly approached Artem.

  "Oh! We forgot to introduce ourselves!" Yaroslav blurted out. "I'm Prince Yaroslav, and this is Prince Artem, my younger brother. We are running... that is, we are riding to rescue Princess Maria from Kashchey the Immortal."

  "Strange folks you are, princes," Alena noted. "How are you riding without horses?"

  "We *are* riding!" Yaroslav protested. "The horses just... fell behind."

  "Wait... Kashchey has kidnapped the princess?" Alena was horrified.

  "Not
just that," Artem said. "He chased away the guards, put a lot of people to sleep, scared away the future kings, and knocked out all the windows in the palace. And he didn't give my brother a chance to ask for Princess Maria's hand in marriage!"

  "You didn't have to say that!" Yaroslav pushed Artem with his elbow.

  "You should definitely meet Babak!" Alena exclaimed.

  "Who?" the princes looked at each other incredulously. "Isn't he a character from a fairy tale?"

  "Kashchey is also from a fairy tale but that doesn't stop him from hurting people," Alena noted reasonably.

  "Why should we see him?"

  "He knows a lot about these places, and he'll be happy to tell you how to quickly get to Kashchey's castle. Come, I'll show you the way!"

  "Is it far?" Artem asked, feeling that his legs didn't want to obey him.

  "No, it's just behind the hill!" Alena waved her hand.

  "Great!" Artem was delighted. 'If I end up having no strength to move forward, I'll just roll down,' he decided. "We gladly accept your invitation, dear stranger!"

  "Oh!" Alena was startled. "I forgot to introduce myself! My name is Alena, and this small goat is Ivan. He's my younger brother. He's been enchanted."

  "How is that?" the princes were surprised.

  "He drank some water from a puddle," Alena explained. "So he became a goat." The brothers looked at each other.

  "Right!" Yaroslav cried out. "So that's where the goats came from! They drank water from the puddles as well.”

  “Stupid goats! To drink from the puddle…"

  "This is exactly what I meant."

  "Who are you talking about?" Alena asked.

  "Our horses, who else?" the princes sighed.

  ***

  "Princes, I adore you! You came here just at the right moment!" Yaga was excited, watching them from behind the bushes. She was the one who had stolen Alena's basket. Someone else's food is always tastier than your own, especially when you yourself have none. "The farmers will all gather together to check the news and I'll have a chance to steal Ivan."

  ***

  Kashchey was standing in the middle of the dusty hall, shouting, urging the princess to return to the habitable part of the castle. As he feared, wandering around the abandoned site turned out to be deathly boring. Kashchey tried to understand how the princess had passed through thousand-year layers of dust without disturbing them and without sneezing to the point of exhaustion while he himself failed. After sneezing for half an hour, Kashchey decided that enough was enough. This torture was one of the most brutal ones, so he decided he would use it when necessary. But now he dreamed of one thing — for the dust to remain on the floor. Otherwise, the next death of his would be the most agonizing and savage one in all his miserable life.

  The princess turned out to be a particularly tricky person since the tracks led into the hall from all three doors. It was as if she had entered through all the entrances at the same time, walked to the center of the hall, and disappeared there. Kashchey spread his hands in turmoil. The princess proved that smart people could be encountered even among the royals.

  "Very clever!" he grumbled. At this point, it was a challenge. The game he had started was accepted and played much better than he had ever expected. A smart opponent meant a long game. He had to be careful, or he'd get lose himself!

  "Princess! Consider the following. The king won't have any money left in the treasury for your salvation! He will have to fight with the neighbors to collect the full amount! Do you really want to start a world war? Hey!"

  No results.

  "Oh, that damned royal arrogance and self-confidence!" Kashchey raised his fingers to his mouth and whistled briefly. A ghostly horse rose from under the ground without raising any dust. "Find the princess and bring her to me!" Kashchey ordered, and the horse flew into the hallway, not worrying about not raising the dust at all. Kashchey coughed. "Waa...wait! Stop!!!"

  The horse came back.

  "I'd better do that myself," Kashchey said hoarsely, covering his mouth with a sleeve. "Or you will find the princess and smother her with dust! Go get some rest. You're free! But walk slowly!!!" And gently...”

  ***

  The princess opened her eyes and tried to understand where she was. She failed. How weird.

  Maria sat up and stared at the floor. It was smooth, not wooden. And a bed with an unusual design. Maria got angry then. The ball was about to happen, and someone decided to pull these stupid jokes. And then she went cold. The ball had already happened! Had she been wearing her ball gown for nothing?

  Wait... If the ball had already happened…

  And then she remembered everything.

  "Kashchey!" she screamed desperately. "What have you done?!"

  No one answered. Mister Good Sinister was resting on the first floor, away from the bedroom of the princess.

  “I have to get out!” she decided and walked to the exit. The door was locked tightly. And there was a keyhole there. It was flat, not like the usual ones. But it was worth trying it. No harm in trying. The faithful lockpick that Maria had been carrying with her since she became interested in locked rooms in the palace and the secrets they stored didn't disappoint. It'd been given to her by a thief she caught secretly. He owed her a favor because she persuaded the king to send him away rather than execute him.

  Five minutes of agony, and the door surrendered.

  Maria quickly rushed to the exit of the castle but the sight of Kashchey sitting with his back to her made her stop on time. Tiptoeing out of the dangerous place, she decided to find another way out. As far as she knew, every castle had a back-up or a secret exit in case of unforeseen disasters like siege, earthquake, or big cleaning. She felt that the castle had managed to avoid the last trouble, and the last time it was cleaned happened before its construction. And Kashchey alone failed to cope with keeping it clean since the thickness of the dust was startling. To live normally in such a castle, a crew with about two or three hundred cleaners had to be present. The magi were right: the castle was deserted and abandoned since its creation. According to their stories, it appeared that it was erected by six gods in ten days, and before flying to heaven, they warned everyone against approaching it, animals and people both. No one knew when Kashchey appeared, but everyone knew that he held a special place even among the evil.

  People said someone had visited him once and told him about the gods' ban. But whether that someone was a weak speaker or whether Kashchey was more stubborn, the plan ended with nothing. The brave man remained alive and even received a coin for his efforts — after a good kick under a place known to many, of course. No one managed to achieve any other result. And maybe it was for the better.

  On her way, she constantly came across the doors with readable but completely incomprehensible inscriptions. It seemed that the letters were written in a random order and stuck to the door as they wished, not caring about the meaning they created. Whenever she tried to enter, the words appeared on the transparent stone with the first clear meaning, "Opens with the help of the Central console!" Maria tried to recall all the ways of legal and illegal opening of the doors, from rough blows with a club to the application of lockpicks, but there was nothing similar to the inscription in her memory. So she decided to do the break-in later, if the main quest failed.

  She passed through many corridors and soon lost count of turns and closed doors. Finally, she found herself facing a small dead-end with a single door on which the following words were engraved: "Central console."

  She found it! Maria was delighted. The door opened under her light touch. Numerous lights flashed on the strange-looking table, and sounds she'd never heard before filled her ears. After a brief hesitation, the princess went inside, approached the table, and touched one of the lights that was hidden in a matte square cube. The cube gave way and fell open to an extent. Numerous graphs and a disturbing flashing writing appeared on the vertically standing square stones. It said:

  The amoun
t of garbage is above 100%!

  OVERLOAD!!!

  OVERLOAD!!!

  OVERLOAD!!!

  Change "Cleaner" from manual to auto mode!!!

  Change "Cleaner" from manual to auto mode!!!

  Change "Cleaner" from manual to auto mode!!!

  The "Cleaner" key began to flash, and a smaller key appeared beneath it, labeled as "Auto mode."

  Maria mentally said goodbye to her life and pressed the buttons.

  ***

  Exhausted by sneezing, Kashchey angrily pounded his fists against the wall, and at the same moment, he heard a furious buzz from its depths, a buzz that kept gaining power. Kashchey quickly jumped away from the wall a decent distance — out of tactical considerations, and not at all from fear. He saw how the invisible dampers opened in the wall, and his stunned gaze fell on numerous windows. The frames swung open, too, and the wind that came from nowhere raised the dust from all over the castle. It rushed into the hall through the open doors, and from there, it jumped through the windows and slipped outside. Kashchey barely managed to cover himself with a cloak as he was enveloped in a dense gray cloud.

  From the outside, it looked like the castle suddenly burst in an explosion of dust, its volume that huge. The gray pillar rose up to the skies and frightened the witnesses who were already scared of Kashchey even more. Animals and birds began to stumble in their panic, not knowing what villainy he was planning this time and whether they should escape in advance. At this point, Kashchey was trying unsuccessfully to inhale, thinking that the only death scarier than from sneezing was the one from inhaling dust. What if the princess was a member of the mythical society of witches? How could she conjure something like that? There were never any windows in the hall, and now they were like pips in a watermelon! And the wind…

  ***

  Maria heard a growing noise and removed her fingers from the button, scared. It stayed pressed. The princess pulled herself together and carefully repeated the attempt. Nothing worked this time, too. Moreover, during her attempts to make the unknown force subside, she accidentally pushed some other buttons as well, and as a result, the overall noise became louder. In utter confusion, she stared at the remote until the buzzing sound from the hallway returned her to her senses. After a moment's hesitation, she decided to go out and look. A smaller corridor was slowly moving through a bigger one. This was where the buzzing came from. As it reached the entrance, it released a steamy cloud, hit the wall, buzzed some more and drove off. The dust-free corridor turned into a work of art, something of indescribable beauty.