Rescue My Heart

by Jerry Cole

  “You sure you don’t want me to drive you back to your place? It is cold as fuck out here.” Alex had on at least four layers and was still shivering.

  “Nah, it’s only two blocks, I’ll be fine.” Jensen rented a small house two streets behind the coffee shop. It was comfortable, perfect for one person, and he rarely ever drove to work.

  “All right, suit yourself…” Alex muttered, then hurried to his car.

  Mich was already walking back to the clinic, but Blake hung back and hesitated for a second, then seemed to make a decision. He pulled his scarf down and moved closer to Jensen.

  “I wasn’t sure how you wanted to be introduced…I should probably have asked.”

  Jensen just smiled. “We haven’t sorted that out yet, but we will.” He leaned up to kiss Blake, who pulled him closer and sighed. It was too cold to linger, but Jensen was sure his message got across well enough.

  “Good night, Jensen. I’ll text you tomorrow, yeah?”

  “Sounds good. Night!” Jensen gave him one more quick peck, then turned and headed for home. It only took him about five minutes, but by the time he got there, his hands were numb, and his nose was running like a faucet. He opened the door and went in, sighing a little.

  The place was a tiny Craftsman that opened into a front entry, then a living room, then the kitchen. His bedroom and the bathroom were down a hallway off the living room. A few pairs of shoes and some coats were strewn around, but otherwise, it was fairly tidy.

  He hung his wet outerwear in the entryway and padded into the kitchen in his socks to make himself a cup of decaf espresso with the fancy machine his mother had bought him for Christmas a few years before. He listened to the familiar whirr and whoosh of the machine as he stared at his phone, thinking. Then he grabbed a bottle of coffee-flavored liqueur and poured that into the mug with the coffee.

  It wasn’t too late, only about 8PM. It wasn’t an unreasonable time to call, and they had both been night owls anyway.

  He took a long swig of his coffee, thinking about how friendly Mich had been and how the four of them had instantly gotten along. It was nice, but he missed the intense closeness and shared jokes that only came from knowing someone for decades.

  Making his decision, he unlocked his phone and dialed the first number in his contacts list. Even after two phones and a lot of changes in his life, the two numbers in his favorites had not changed or moved. Even when he was still seeing Eric, convinced he was going to marry the bastard, he had never moved their numbers.

  The phone rang for a few seconds, and then a woman’s voice answered.

  “Jens?! Is that really you?!”

  Hot tears poured down his face the second he heard Sophia. “Yeah, yeah it’s me. I’m sorry it took so long.”

  “No, don’t apologize! Fuck, I’m just glad to hear from you! Are you okay? Where are you?”

  “I’m…up in Grand Lake. Working for a friend of my mother, at a coffee shop. Have been for almost a year now.” He grabbed a paper towel to blow his nose.

  Sophia was quiet for a second. “So, he’s gone?” Her voice was tentative, as though she expected him to hang up on her or have some kind of outburst. He felt even worse, realizing that a year ago, he would have done just that at the thought of Eric not being around.

  “Yeah, yeah he’s gone. Well, I don’t know where it actually is. He’s probably still in Denver. But I haven’t seen him since I packed up and left.” He swallowed around the lump in his throat. “I’m so sorry I didn’t call you when I left. I just…I needed to get out, and I ran. I didn’t think…and then the longer I was in therapy and realizing how bad I let everything get, the worse I felt about not calling…” his voice was breaking.

  “Oh, Jens no! No, don’t cry! That wasn’t you! We know it wasn’t you!” Now Sophia sounded like she was crying too.

  He heard another voice in the background, asking what was going on. It was unmistakably Manny.

  “I’m putting you on speakerphone so Manny can hear, okay?”

  “Yeah, yeah go ahead.”

  “Jens? Are you okay?” Manny’s voice was low and quiet. He was a huge bear of a man, but he’d always tried to compensate for it by speaking softly and slowly, like everyone around him was a deer or a rabbit. Jensen had only ever heard him yell and fight with Sophia, who had never been afraid of anything in her entire life, let alone a man twice her size.

  “Eric is gone, and he’s in Grand Lake. Has been for a while.” Sophia added to catch him up.

  “Shit…” Manny muttered. “Well, I can’t say I’m sorry to see the last of that son of a bitch.”

  Jensen got himself under control and blew his nose again. “Yeah, sorry. I just called because…I realized I really, really missed both of you. And I’m kinda seeing someone again, and I just realized that…that I needed to make things right first. It doesn’t really make sense, I know. But I just had this overwhelming feeling like I couldn’t keep moving forward until I fixed this. I really missed you both. A lot.”

  “We missed you too, Jens. But there’s nothing to fix. We get it. Eric was a piece of shit, and he had your head tied up in knots and we kind of just knew that we had to give you the space to figure things out on your own. I’m just glad you did.”

  “We’re both glad.”

  Jensen sucked in a breath and tried to get his nose to stop running, but was failing miserably. He grabbed another paper towel. “So…did I miss the wedding?”

  “No, no. We had to cancel the original date because Sophia’s mom wasn’t doing too well. We haven’t gotten around to picking new dates or anything.” Manny sounded bemused about the situation. “Well, I guess technically we are married. We did a courthouse wedding a while ago for insurance purposes. But you didn’t miss the big party. And now we know where you are, we’ll make sure you get the invite when we reschedule.”

  They talked for a while longer, catching up on what else Jensen had missed during his unintentional and yet self-imposed exile. Eventually, Sophia begged off because she had to get up for a meeting at work, and they hung up.

  Jensen went to bed feeling emotionally drained and exhausted, but somehow happier than he’d been in a very long time. He had his two best friends in the world back in his life, at least tentatively. They weren’t angry or upset and…things could improve. They could fix this. He pulled the covers over his head and was asleep in seconds.

  Chapter Eight

  “I have never seen you go doe-eyed about anyone before, it’s kind of cute, that’s all,” Mich laughed as the snow and ice crunched under their feet on the sidewalks. The city had put down salt, so it wasn’t as slick as it could have been, but Blake still wished he had grabbed a cane, and he was walking as slowly and carefully as he could. Mich had noticed and slowed down and was staying close to his elbow. Normally Blake hated hovering, but he wasn’t about to argue if Mich managed to catch him on the way down.

  “Yeah, well. I never actually have felt like this about anyone before. Jensen is just different.”

  “Are you two not actually dating yet or what? There was some awkwardness there for a minute.”

  “I think we are now…that’s why I stopped to talk to him for a minute.” He paused, weighing how much to tell Mich, then realizing he still trusted the other man, and he needed to talk to someone about this who didn’t live in town. “We really just met, but it was like I instantly knew I needed to be around him as much as possible. And I don’t want to push anything too hard because I think he got out of a really bad situation recently, and I don’t want to spook him or make him uncomfortable.”

  “Hmm,” Mich replied. “A bad situation like what?”

  They approached the clinic, and Blake unlocked the door so they could both go in. He needed to put Ginger in her carrier to take her home, and Mich didn’t seem to be in a rush.

  “Hard to say. He kind of panicked a little when we were having a moment, and Angie made some allusions to him having had to leave Denver.”

>   “Ginger! Pretty bird!” the cockatoo interjected sleepily from her cage where she’d been sleeping, feathers fluffed. Blake unlocked the cage, and she waddled out onto his arm. He scratched her head for a moment.

  Mich leaned against Beth’s desk, sucking on a peppermint from the restaurant. “That’s rough. He was awfully quiet at dinner, but I didn’t get the sense that he’s all that talkative anyway.”

  “No, but he was more quiet than usual. I think I just need to talk to him and ask about the broad picture of what’s going on. I want to be with him, and I’m willing to be patient. I’ve been single for a long ass time, so it’s not like I need to be rushing into anything quickly either. Better for both of us to take it slow.”

  “But yeah, communication.” Mich looked down at the carpet. “I think that’s what ruined things with my relationship. I just… assumed everything was fine. I never asked her if she was okay when I knew she was stressed and anxious because I was stressed and anxious too. She cheated, which puts her solidly in the wrong, and everyone tells me that, but I just question how long was I making her miserable and ignoring her that she felt that was the only option she had left?”

  “Did she try to talk to you about it?”

  Mich smiled wryly, still staring at the carpet. “Yeah, several times, only I didn’t really get what she was trying to do. She would start the conversation, and I’d get defensive and derail it. Over and over again. What she did was wrong, but I didn’t do anything right.” He rubbed his face and looked up, meeting Blake’s eye. “We all get it into our heads as vets that we need to be perfect, and eventually we start to believe our own hype sometimes. I fucked up and bought my own bullshit. Don’t make my mistakes.”

  Blake carefully set Ginger in the fancy carrier that Beth had bought for her, then strode over to hug Mich hard. “You’re not a bad guy.”

  Mich hugged Blake back fiercely. “Thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

  They separated a second later, and Blake could tell Mich was trying to school his expression into something more neutral, though he was failing.

  “I’m going to head out and drive home. It was good to see you.”

  “Yeah, I’m really glad you stopped by. I’ll try and come down to Ft. Collins in the next couple weekends.”

  Mich grinned. “Great. Bring Ginger and Jensen with you. We’ll see if Jensen is more talkative when his coworker isn’t telling grandiose tales.”

  Blake laughed. “Alex is a character, no question. Have a safe drive home.”

  “You too!” Mich waved and headed back outside toward the parking lot and his waiting car.

  ***

  Blake texted Jensen as soon as he finished with his house calls the next morning, inquiring about the other man’s schedule and whether they could meet for lunch.

  J: I need to stick around until 2, but if you don’t mind a late lunch, I could do that? If you have appointments, I can grab food and bring it to you…

  B: That would be great if you don’t mind. I’ll let Beth know what’s going on and I’ll make it work.

  J: Okay, looking forward to seeing you then!

  Blake was sorely tempted to text back with something stupid, like a heart emoji. He was utterly and completely smitten with Jensen, and Mich had sensed it immediately, so it was likely that a lot of people would notice. He just felt… happy around Jensen. In a way, he never had with anyone else he had dated.

  Jensen asked what kind of burgers he liked, and he replied with his general order.

  He started in on a load of appointments for the day, handling two chickens and a duck with a bacterial infection, a dog with a gland problem, a couple of regular checkups, and an irate cat with an infected tooth.

  He breathed a sigh of relief as he finished the cat, and glanced at his watch to see that it was around 2:15, so he wandered into his office. Jensen sitting in his chair, feeding French fries to a fluffed and comfortable Ginger in his lap. Jensen looked up as he came in, and he appeared faintly guilty.

  “That’s not a veterinarian approved pelleted diet, and you know it,” Blake said in a mock-stern voice.

  “No, but at least I didn’t let her eat your burger.”

  “If that bird gets fatty liver disease, I’m telling Mich who to blame for it.” Blake sank into the other chair with a sigh and extended his leg in front of him, wincing as it popped.

  Jensen immediately looked concerned. “Is everything okay? Do you want your chair back?”

  “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Blake waved him off. “It’s just sore from walking a lot this week. I’ll be fine, promise.”

  Jensen eyed him skeptically for a second but didn’t say anything else. He instead pulled a bag of food out of a small cooler he’d hidden next to the desk and handed it to Blake. “It should still be pretty warm.”

  Blake opened the bag and smelled it. “Hell I don’t care, I’m just starving. I haven’t had a break all day, and any second now, Beth is going to come in and tell me there’s a chinchilla with cancer in the waiting room.”

  “Actually, it’s a cat with a cut on its paw.” Beth was leaning against the doorjamb, looking amused. “I’ve shown her back to a room.”

  Blake sighed, looking mournfully at his food and at Jensen, then back up to Beth. “You keep telling me to eat more but then you never manage to schedule a lunch for me.”

  “I did schedule a lunch for you, but the chickens took longer than we thought.” She smiled. “Dr. Marcos’ just finished an appointment and his last one for the day canceled…want me to beg him to see the cat for you?”

  “Would you please?” Blake tried to look pathetic.

  “I’ll go talk to him. If he says no, I’ll stall for a little bit.” She wandered out, still smiling.

  Blake sighed and fished around in the bag for his burger. “Sorry about that, this place is always insane.”

  Jensen shook his head. “It’s fine, I totally understand. I’m not doing anything this afternoon anyway.”

  “Then why don’t I make it up to you with dinner? I can do an enchilada casserole thing my mom used to make, and we can sit on the couch watching bad TV.”

  “That seems fair. What do you think, Ginger?” He asked the cockatoo.

  She made a fart noise in response.

  “I think that’s a yes?” Blake shrugged. “She’s been making that noise all day.”

  “Can’t imagine how she would have picked it up…” Jensen laughed.

  “I have no idea what you’re implying, but I assure you, I am innocent.”

  Jensen leaned his head to the side, eyes wide, expression pure mischief. “Not that innocent I hope.”

  Blake choked on his burger and turned bright red. He took a drink of the soda Blake had set on the desk next to the bag. “Fuck, you’re going to kill me. No, not that kind of innocent.”

  Jensen’s smile was enough to make Blake half-hard in his pants, and he was thankful he’d changed into jeans after dealing with the cat’s tooth surgery. Scrubs would not have hidden the evidence.

  “Good, because the roads might be treacherous tonight…. I might not be able to drive home…”

  “Hmm, no, wouldn’t want to risk it.” Blake was still turning redder, but he made a mental note to pick up condoms while he was at the grocery store getting ingredients for dinner. He knew for a fact that whatever he had in the house was expired. “Though I do think we need to get things out in the open…before you get stranded…”

  Jensen sighed, coquettish expression gone. “Yeah, probably. It’s not as bad as you’re probably assuming it is, I promise.”

  “I know, and I’m not pressuring you to tell me anything you’re not comfortable with, but I just don’t want either of us plowing ahead blind. You deserve to know what this whole mess looks like and what happened.” He gestured at his hip and leg. “And why my fucking eye is pointed the wrong way half the time.”

  “I mean…I’m okay telling you…but…does that mean this is more permanent? I…I wasn’t sure
if you kinda saw this as just like a temporary thing or…”

  “Jensen,” Blake interjected, “no, I am not looking for a temporary thing. I wasn’t looking for anything at all, but you’re here, and I want to get to know you, and…” He glanced at the open door and quickly pushed it shut with his good foot. “And, yeah, I definitely want to fall into bed with you, but I also want to go out to dinner just us at some point, and meet your friends and your parents, and do all the stupid domestic crap that I never thought of myself as wanting. Something about being around you makes me want every white picket fence cliché in the books, and it’s terrifying, and I’m maybe being too honest right now, but…it’s the truth.”

  Jensen grinned widely, and it was so bright and so relieved that Blake wanted to kiss it off his face. He stood up to move closer, and Jensen carefully set Ginger on the top of her play stand and then quickly wrapped his arms around Blake’s neck to kiss him thoroughly.

  “I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s practically picking out a fucking china set,” Jensen murmured against his mouth. “I thought I was going crazy.”

  “You’re not. I promise you’re not. The feeling is mutual.” Blake pulled him as close as possible and took a deep breath. Jensen smelled like coffee and baked goods, and it was something Blake didn’t think he’d ever get enough of.

  “Good.” Jensen pulled back reluctantly. “I’ll let you go so you can finish work. And then I’ll see you tonight.” He ran a hand over Blake’s shoulder and smiled. “I’ll go pick up some wine, I think.”

  “I’ll take care of the rest, then.” Blake paused for a second. “Jeanie did say that they want you to go talk to those people tomorrow… are you sure there’s no way I can talk you out of that plan?”

  Jensen smiled. “No, because it needs to get done and I don’t want any other animals to have to suffer if I can possibly stop it. I don’t believe in saying ‘someone should do something.’ I’m someone, and I can do something, so I’m going to.”

  “Fair enough.” Blake nodded and leaned in to give Jensen one more quick peck, and then the other man was gone.