by HP Mallory
Yeah, I didn’t buy that for one second. Before our last trip, Tallis insisted on living in that hovel in the woods for months on end. Of course, that was also when Donnchadh was a spiritual passenger inside his body. Scary and ruthless, the spirit that possessed Tallis’s body was a serial killer, yet he protected his host with the same determination as Bill when it came to filling his always-hungry belly.
Now that Donnchadh was firmly sealed inside Pandora’s Urn, Tallis was a lot more vulnerable than he’d ever been before. I could tell when he sparred with me during our sword practice. He had Druid magic he could call on although it was no real substitute to the immortality provided by Donnchadh.
The doorbell rang, interrupting my thoughts. Bill looked at his phone again. “Dammit! He’s five minutes early. Couldn’t he have just—”
Without saying a word, I got up from the coffee table, picking up the sword and holding it at my side as I went to answer the door.
Tallis’s voice called out to me with audible concern. “Besom?” I could hear him getting off the stool and standing up.
My grip tightened on the sword as I reached for the door handle. “I’m not taking any chances.”
Bill sounded just as unnerved as Tallis. “Nips, simmer down. No need to—”
I opened the door and saw a little man standing on the other side. But, my attention was fixated on the area outside my apartment because it… wasn’t the same as it used to be. Gone was the cement walkway, the trees and shrubs. In their place was what looked like the stereotypical psychiatrist’s office: one wall of books, a comfy leather chaise, an equally plush Victorian chair beside it, and a big desk in the rear of the room.
“Neat,” I muttered as my eyes fell back to the stout, little man before me. He looked so pale, I feared he might spontaneously combust in the dim electric light emitted from the chandelier over his head. Wearing a charcoal-grey, early twentieth century suit with a jaunty hat, his hairline was undeniably receding. An aquiline nose, sugar bowl-ears and a surprisingly sensuous mouth with a small mustache over it, he carried a small suitcase in his left hand and wore a pair of rounded spectacles over his eyes.
Using his right hand to lift his hat, he said, “Guten morgen, Fraulein Harper. I apologize for arriving a few minutes early, especially since you have not yet finished your breakfast.”
I narrowed my eyes at him. Despite his accurate observation, he looked vaguely familiar to me. “How did you know I hadn’t finished my breakfast?”
He cleared his throat and pointed towards my mouth. Then he reached for a hanky in his coat pocket, reached forward and wiped my face, revealing a piece of egg on his hankerchief.
“Oh, thanks,” I said and sounded embarrassed. Then I cleared my throat. “Should I assume you’re the doctor I was told to expect?”
He nodded. “Indeed, fraulein… Doctor Carl Gustav Jung at your service.”
I nearly dropped my sword. “Not the Carl Jung who became famous as the founding father of analytical psychiatry and one-time heir apparent of Freud?”
He shrugged. “I have been called the first title in some circles and I most certainly must admit to the second. May I come inside?”
When I was alive, I spent a lot of my time reading self-help books. Jung’s name and wise quotations appeared in more than a few of them. It eventually implanted a desire to find any book of his I could get my hands on. My local library happened to carry The Undiscovered Self. Although not generally known as one of his more famous pieces, it was short and sweet and it blew my mind.
And here he was now in my apartment! Offering me a psychiatric evaluation in what I could only presume was his office on the other side of my door. For me, that was about as awesome as getting a personal visit from God.
I discreetly tucked my sword behind the door and opened it for him. Even though I was beyond excited to be making Jung’s acquaintance, I did my best to contain my fangirl reaction. My time around Manfred Von Richthofen aka The Red Baron gave me some practice in discretion but maybe not as much as I required.
To his credit, Jung acted like I was acting completely normal when he greeted the guys. “Guten morgen, meine herren.”
Bill’s face glowed with the kind of happy smile I thought he reserved for his favorite porn stars. “Doc! Ya found us!”
The doctor gave him a much more reserved smile in return. “It is good to see you again as well, William. I trust things have improved?”
Tallis looked between them in surprise, before looking at me. I just shrugged, my eyebrows reaching for the ceiling.
“Ye two know each other?” Tallis asked finally.
Jung nodded. “Indeed so, Herr Black. William is one of my outpatients whom I have frequently assisted in certain private issues.”
The bladesmith’s eyes narrowed. “An’ how’s it that ye know me name, sir?”
Without taking offense, our visitor shrugged as he gestured toward the desk behind him. “I was provided with a full copy of Fraulein Harper’s report. You, sir, play quite a prominent role in said report, which spurred me to do some additional research.” Jung took a breath, and then continued. “Your singular height and hirsute body made it quite easy to identify you.”
“Hirsute?”
“I think the doc means he likes your kilt, man,” Bill offered with a shrug.
I smiled at him and then at Tallis. “No, it means you’re hairy.”
That resulted in the wrong reaction from my beloved. “Aye, so Ah am. Have ye a problem with that, Doctor?” He spoke Jung’s title like it was a foul curse.
Again, Jung remained calm as he waved away Tallis’s hostility. “Not at all! There are certain issues one cannot help and physical appearance ranks chief among them. I merely noted your body hair as a minor detail, not a critique. If you took my comment as the latter, allow me to apologize for my poor phrasing.”
That seemed to be good enough for Tallis, who relaxed openly. “Aye, well, ‘tis all right, then. Carry on.”
“You Scots have endured a long history of being unjustly frowned upon,” Jung added. “Thus, your reaction is to be expected and, once again, I do apologize.”
Bill grabbed the bladesmith’s left hand and tugged it in the direction of the kitchen. “C’mon, Tido, let’s do the dishes while they analysize in the other room.”
Tallis frowned down at him. “An’ where exactly is that other room?”
Doctor Jung raised the hand with the hat in it. “In my private office, Herr Black. Just through the entry door, as you can plainly see.” He motioned to the room beyond what was once my front door.
Still uncertain, Tallis looked at me and I nodded at him. “It’ll be okay, Tallis. Bill doesn’t trust anyone and he seems to be okay with the doctor.”
“Yep, I’m A-OK with Doc Jung,” Bill said and gave me a little salute.
“Then ye have me blessin’,” Tallis responded while I started for the front door. I turned back to watch Bill smile at me as he piled the food-laden dishes on top of each other. That prompted Tallis to reach for them.
“Dammit, man! Yer makin’ a bigger mess than need be!”
My ex-guardian angel shrugged as Tallis took the dishes from him. “Hey, if ya thinks ya can handle it without me, no skin off my nose. I’ll just do some Instagrammar on my phone.”
While Tallis scowled, I remembered something I’d thought of earlier. “Make sure to use your other phone, Bill, the one you haven’t been using lately.”
Bill tensed for a second before answering me. “Yeah, good point, Nips. Wouldn’t want those cheap AE bastards shuttin’ it off by mistake or deliberatively…”
My new psychiatrist tilted his head back into his office. “Shall we proceed, fraulein…?
As I followed Doctor Jung into the other room, I heard Bill and Tallis talking in low voices. I couldn’t make out their exact words, but I got the gist that Bill was reassuring Tallis that I was in safe hands. My host waited until he’d closed the door behind us before speaking a
gain.
“I imagine you were surprised to learn that William was one of my patients.”
I sat down on the couch. “I’m surprised to learn he’s anyone’s patient. Of course, I used to be shocked that angels were binge drinkers, orgy enthusiasts and social media addicts too.” I took a breath. “Now there isn’t much about Bill that does surprise me.”
The doctor’s smile was wide. “While archangels are truly alien beings that never require my services, the rank-and-file members of the Celestial Choir often develop the very same vices they observe in their charges.”
That explanation gave me a twinge of guilt. “Are you saying that being around us mere mortals affects angels in a negative way?”
Putting his hat on a coat rack behind the door, Jung looked at me with the same sympathetic expression he gave Tallis. “While I have heard that argument inside the halls of Afterlife Enterprises, I rejected it. Like humans, all angels are endowed with the power of free will and choice, their divine duties to others notwithstanding. Occasionally, an angel’s choices can be detrimental to their well-being, but it’s not hard to see why they make the decisions they do. The obvious toll of protecting untold numbers of people over the centuries, many of them meeting ignoble ends their guardians were unable to prevent, can be quite a heavy burden to bear.”
“I never thought of Bill’s job quite like that, but you’re right. I’m sure angels get attached to their mortals and when those mortals die… the guardian angel must mourn their deaths just like family and friends would.”
Jung sighed as he put the suitcase onto his desk with a loud plop. “That is why I consider it unfortunate that Afterlife Enterprises lacked a Psychiatry Department until fairly recently. The sheer backlog of angel patients requires us to use triage, prioritizing the most severe cases.”
“And Bill? He was one of those severe cases?”
He hummed a little as he undid the snaps on his briefcase. “One could infer that from the information you were provided. But we are not here to speak of William now. If the details of your official report are accurate, you survived a harrowing experience that would rival any wartime narrative of the twentieth century.”
And just like that, the moment I’d been dreading arrives, I thought. “So… you came here to see if I’m still fit for duty?”
Jung shook his head as he opened his briefcase. “That judgment lies in the hands of many others who outrank me. My only task today is to evaluate your current frame of mind.”
“Okay.”
He pulled out a notepad and an ornately exquisite pen before shutting the briefcase again. “However, that being said, I would be remiss if I failed to provide you with any advice or recommendations to assist you in whatever difficulties you might presently have.”
I swallowed hard at his words. “And how much of your report goes to AE?”
As he walked over to the comfy seat next to me, he took a deep breath. “The personal portions shall be kept in the strictest confidence, I promise you. It is impossible for any of my patients to improve if they are threatened by the prospect of their superiors knowing certain private details regarding their lives. While the patient’s capability to perform falls under the purview of Afterlife Enterprises, any personal information most certainly does not.”
I couldn’t help smiling when I heard the venomous tone he used in that last statement. So far, he was the embodiment of his writings. I thought I glimpsed a delighted twinkle in his eye while he made himself comfortable in his seat.
“You have a very lovely smile, fraulein. I pray that you shall always keep it.”
“Thank you.”
Taking a deep breath, he poised his hand over his notepad. “Now, in your own words, fraulein, please describe all the events of your last Soul Retriever expedition.”
###
It took a lot less time to explain than I expected. When I thought about all that had happened in my head—receiving the crown, being used as a sex toy by Alaire, Bill and Tallis’s torturous confinement, my eventual escape, and the whole Morgue odyssey—I felt like I’d just narrated War And Peace. But despite frequent interruptions in order to collect myself, I figured it didn’t take me more than half an hour to tell my story.
Of course, I didn’t tell Jung everything. I skipped all the episodes when I’d had sex with Tallis as Persephone and then as myself, although Jung had probably already sensed Tallis and I were intimate. I also neglected to tell him about the confrontation we had with Alaire back at Tallis’s cabin, just in case Alaire was up AE’s backside, which I was fairly sure was the case.
Doctor Jung took all of my information in stride. He didn’t really openly react to anything I said. The only thing he did was write down notes, interjecting an occasional question when he failed to follow my choice of words. I couldn’t tell how much he gleaned from hearing my story, but I could almost see the gears turning in his head.
When I reached the end of my story, he glanced up at me. “I couldn’t help noticing the rather fine weapon you carried when you greeted me at the door.”
I felt a little embarrassed when I thought about my initial reaction and what I was prepared to do to him with said blade. “Yeah, about that,” I started as I took a deep breath. “You can never be too careful, you know?”
“It is a most unusually lovely blade.”
I was taken a little off-guard by his compliment. “Thanks… but I can’t take any credit for it. Tallis is the one who forged it.”
Jung put his notepad down in his lap and the pen on top of it. “And did Herr Black also provide the enchantment that engendered the being you call ‘The Self’?”
When I gave him a panicked look, he patted the air between us with his hand. “Surely you must have expected the most thorough research from me, fraulein. All the files at Afterlife Enterprises have recorded the complimentary enchantments the bladesman infused to the weapons belonging to those for which he cares. It logically follows that such magic must lie at the source of The Self’s existence.”
I frowned in frustration. “I wish I knew for sure. Tallis said he put one enchantment on the blade that would allow me and the blade to bond. But he seemed really shocked when I was able to do all the things I mentioned to you and all the… things you saw in my reports.”
Dr. Jung looked up at the ceiling in deep thought before asking his next question. “Do you believe Herr Black might be keeping the whole truth of the matter from you?”
I scoffed. “No. Trust me when I say that Herr Black, er, Tallis has no time or patience for lies or for other people’s bullshit.”
Dr. Jung held up his finger. “As the United States government has often proved when it comes to UFOs, lying and withholding information are often two separate activities. With this in mind, do you believe Herr Black is capable of the latter?”
My nod was slow but it did come. “Yeah, he’s definitely capable. But he’s just as straightforward about my sword’s history as he is with everything else. If he doesn’t want you to know something, he just clams up. So far, when it comes to the blade, he hasn’t done that—he hasn’t clammed up.”
My star psychiatrist hummed with interest as he scribbled a few more notes. “And how does this Self make you feel?”
“Scared, confused, out of control…” The adjectives nearly tumbled off my lips. “But it also feels like it’s an essential part of me.” I looked up at the ceiling before adding, “And the only thing that keeps me from being scared of The Self like I was when Donnchadh and Persephone occupied my head, is that every time The Self gets involved, it’s always for the best.”
That statement lifted the doctor’s eyebrows. “No bad outcomes?”
“Well, some of the situations seem to start off bad,” I said as I cocked my head to the side and considered my words. “But then it’s always like I’m right where I needed to be all along.” I looked up at him then. “Does that make any sense?”
His writing in response to my answer was positivel
y furious. “Far more than you may realize, Fraulein Harper. Have you noted any other occurrences since your return that could be related to your exploits?”
For a second, I weighed the prudence of telling Jung about my ongoing physical changes. But since that was something I barely understood myself, I doubted he was the right person to tell. I decided to stick to a subject near and dear to his heart. “I’ve been having this recurring dream—a nightmare, really—ever since I returned from The Underground City.”
As I expected from the man who based so much of his theories on dreams, he perked up considerably at my words. “You have my full attention, fraulein.”
I held up my hand. “Just one thing… I’d really appreciate you cutting all the specifics of this from your report to AE.” I cleared my throat. “This should just be between you and me—patient confidentiality, okay?”
He shrugged. “So long as I can determine this information has no bearing on your overall fitness for duty, I see no reason why anyone outside this room should know.”
Well, that’s reassuring, I thought bitterly. Of course, it seemed Jung had his patients’ best interests in mind because he did know a lot about Bill and Bill hadn’t been fired from his post. Of course, I was fairly sure AE had gifted me with Bill because they didn’t know where else to send him. No other Soul Retriever I’d ever come across had their guardian angel in tow.
I described the dream, including all the variations in the identity of my pursuer. When I finished, Jung stopped writing and tapped his pen against the notepad in a steady rhythm. Then he looked up at me.
“So you say you have never seen this castle outside of the dream?”
“Right, I’ve only seen the castle in my dreams. Which is weird to me.”
“Why?”
I shrugged. “Well, after what I went through and how much time I spent in Alaire’s castle, you’d think that would be the castle in my dreams. But, no… And this… other castle… it almost feels more familiar to me somehow. Even now, I can close my eyes and see it and feel the stone… it just seems real…”
