Almost Lost

by Ophelia Night

  Cassie couldn’t bear thinking about it any longer. She climbed to her feet and reluctantly turned back toward home.

  Arriving back at the house, she was relieved that Ryan and Trish weren’t there. She had no idea when they would be back, because they hadn’t left a note, and Ryan hadn’t messaged her.

  Even though the house was empty, it felt filled with memories and false hopes. Each sight and smell reminded her of her dreams that she and Ryan would make it their home together.

  Every time she thought about what had happened, a new wave of disbelief hit her. Her brain simply couldn’t accept that everything she’d been told was a lie, and the foundation she’d built her trust on had proved to be as flimsy as a house of cards.

  Thinking of cards reminded her of the magic show they’d watched on that sunny Sunday, when she’d taken the children on their first outing. She still had that damned card in her purse.

  Cassie took out the paper packet the magician had given her, sealed with a sticker, and felt the shape of the card inside.

  The queen of hearts, signifying love, had been gifted to her at a time when she was beginning to hope that there might be a special spark between her and Ryan.

  With a sigh, she opened the packet.

  Cassie stared down in consternation.

  The card inside was the two of spades.

  The magician hadn’t given her the queen at all. His final trick had been slotting a different card inside. One that was disposable, and that he didn’t need to use for his next audience.

  Looking at the card, thinking of the misdirection she’d experienced right here in this house, Cassie felt sick. Harriet was right. Leaving was the only option. She didn’t want to spend another night here.

  She crumpled up the card and tossed it away.

  With a jolt, she realized she had no idea whether Ryan had even told the truth about getting her car fixed. She’d have to hope that he had kept his word in that regard and that it was really where he’d promised to take it.

  She was still worrying about the logistics of the car when Trish arrived back with the children.

  “Would you look after them for the afternoon?” she asked Cassie. “I’m helping Ryan rearrange his office.”

  “No problem,” Cassie said, giving a big fake smile that hurt her face.

  Knowing that Harriet would arrive any minute for her final shift, Cassie decided that after the confessions they had shared earlier, it would be better for both of them if she wasn’t home.

  “Shall we go for a walk to that cake shop down the road?” she asked the children, thinking she would also take the names of the closest guesthouses, so she could plan where to go later that night.

  “Good idea,” Dylan agreed. “There’s a bookshop inside that tearoom. They have some fun books.”

  Madison, however, wasn’t so eager.

  “I’m tired. I don’t want to go out again.”

  Cassie bit her lip. Madison clearly had issues and Cassie was starting to worry that it was because she had worked out what Cassie and her father had been doing.

  Her world would have been shattered, too. Most likely she was confused, upset, and resentful.

  For all she knew, Dylan might feel the same way but was hiding it better.

  “Come on Maddie,” Dylan encouraged her. “The bookshop’s a fun place.”

  Eventually, Madison agreed, and while they changed out of their school uniforms, Cassie counted her money.

  She hadn’t been officially paid yet, but every time Ryan had given her money for shopping, he’d told her to keep the change. There was enough to pay for lunch at the cake shop and a night at a guesthouse, and she’d be able to go into a bank tomorrow and withdraw more.

  Out on the road, Cassie photographed two of the guesthouse signboards as they passed.

  “It’s a beautiful afternoon,” she said, hoping to encourage some conversation and break through Madison’s silence.

  The tearoom half a mile down the hill was warm and cozy, and it had a good selection of secondhand books. Once they’d had lunch and hot chocolate, and Cassie had allowed them each a slice of carrot cake in defiance of the healthy eating rule, they spent some time sitting by the fireplace with the books they’d bought.

  “What are you reading, Madison?” Cassie asked, hoping she could start up a friendly conversation.

  “It’s a story about a girl who goes to boarding school,” Madison replied curtly.

  Cassie felt at a loss. Clearly Madison was still set on the idea and she had no idea why.

  “Is there a reason you want to go to boarding school?” she asked in a gentle voice.

  Madison shook her head firmly.

  “I can’t tell you now,” she said.

  It was almost dark when they finally headed home. When they reached the house Cassie was relieved to find Harriet had gone.

  “Glad to see you lovely people are home,” Ryan called out as he heard the front door open.

  “We went to the cake shop,” Dylan said. “We had carrot cake and read books.”

  “Cake?” Trish called from the kitchen, sounding stern. “I hope it hasn’t spoiled your appetite for supper. It’ll be ready at six.”

  Cassie headed straight to her room and spent an hour packing her things. By six, she had all her bags ready and her shelves cleared. She was ready to go.

  There would be only one more dinner to endure.

  At the table, Madison had no appetite and Trish reprimanded her.

  “You know the rules. No snacks in between meals, and no cake or sweets during the week. That’s naughty, Maddie.”

  “It was Cassie’s fault,” Dylan said.

  “I didn’t know the rules,” Cassie explained, but Trish had clearly lost interest in the discussion. With a deliberate shrug, she turned to Ryan.

  “My next business trip will be finalized tomorrow. It’s a European tour with a panel of scientists. They’re deciding on the cities tonight. Paris, Frankfurt, and Amsterdam are definite, and it might also include Vienna, Rome, and Istanbul.”

  Cassie ate in silence as, once again, Trish and Ryan discussed a topic that neither she nor the children could contribute to.

  She was glad when dinner was over and she could clear the plates away and head to the family room for television time. Cassie suffered through the hour, fuming with impatience for it to be over. She listened anxiously because although Ryan and Trish hadn’t said they had plans to go out again, she couldn’t leave the children if they did. No matter how angry she was, it would be unfair to Dylan and Madison. After all, none of this was their doing.

  Cassie was reassured to hear Trish say, from the kitchen, “I’m off to bed. I have an early start tomorrow.”

  “I’ll join you in a minute,” Ryan replied.

  After putting the children to bed at half past eight, it was time for Cassie to make her move. The local guesthouses didn’t accept check-ins after nine p.m. and the closest one was a ten-minute walk away. It would take her longer with heavy bags in tow.

  Getting the bags out of the house quietly was a major challenge. The wooden floorboards seemed to amplify the sound of luggage wheels. After wheeling her bag across the bedroom, Cassie was conscious of the unmistakable noise it made. She decided she would have to carry the bags out one by one. It would take longer, but be less risky.

  Cassie opened the door and looked out.

  All quiet. The hall light was off.

  She grasped the heaviest bag and hefted it a few steps. It was so heavy that she had to put it down again and have a breather before doing another few steps.

  Being quiet was costing her far too much time. The bag seemed to weigh more each time she picked it up, and her limbs were burning with the effort.

  Eventually she was outside, and she placed the bag on the front porch, breathing hard.

  She went back for the smaller bag and followed the same process.

  Step by quiet step, she eased the bag out of the house.

>   The final journey was the easiest one, with just her purse and her shoulder bag. She paused at the bedroom door, wondering if she should leave a note, but decided not to. There would be no point. Ryan would have no difficulty in figuring out why she left. The only thing he might wonder was why she’d stayed as long as she had.

  She closed the bedroom door quietly and headed down the hall for the last time.

  She reached the front door, stepped through, and stood for a moment, breathing hard, watching her breath misting in the glow from the porch lantern.

  The night was quiet and cloudless, with a cool, steady breeze. In the dark sky she could see stars, bright and clear. Despite the chilliness of the air, the effort of that heavy lifting had made her hot. Relieved that she could drag the bags along from here on, she pulled out their handles.

  Then a click behind her made her jump. She spun round, tensing herself as the front door opened.

  It was Ryan, and in that moment her carefully laid plans crumbled around her and she braced herself for the confrontation that she knew would follow.

  “Cassie,” he whispered. “Is everything all right? Where are you going?”

  To her amazement, he didn’t sound angry at all. He stared at her and all she could see in his eyes was worry and concern.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

  Cassie glared at Ryan, devastated that she hadn’t been able to make her escape unnoticed. At the same time, she felt bitter satisfaction that she would, at least, be able to tell him what she thought of him and his lying ways.

  “I’m getting the hell out of here,” she whispered.

  Ryan shook his head, stepping toward her.

  “No, Cassie, please. Why are you going?”

  He took her hand, but she couldn’t bear his touch. She snatched her arm away.

  “Why do you think? I’m sick of being strung along and lied to. I’m only sorry that I was stupid enough to believe you for so long.”

  “But…” Ryan looked at her helplessly. “I explained the situation.”

  “You lied to me.”

  Cassie stood behind her suitcase, its bulk shielding her from him. She didn’t want any more of his good looks, his charming ways, or his false promises.

  Ryan sighed deeply.

  “Please trust me.”

  “Why should I?”

  She shivered. It hadn’t taken long for her to cool down in the chilly evening.

  “Oh, Cassie.”

  Ryan stepped around the suitcase and the next moment, he’d wrapped his arms around her. Cassie found herself blinking tears away, because his embrace felt so strong, so familiar. It made her wish that the nightmare of the past two days had never happened, and that everything was the way it had been before.

  She knew she shouldn’t, but it was so easy, so safe, to lean against him and listen as he explained.

  “I’ve been going through hell myself since Trish came back. Don’t think I haven’t been crippled by guilt over how this must look to you. It’s a process and we are getting there. She’s a difficult person and I knew if I didn’t handle this right, it would turn nasty. I’ve been doing my best. Making her feel valued, but at the same time encouraging her to see reason, that we need to move on.”

  “Is that so?” Cassie wasn’t sure whether to believe him.

  “We have had a few chances to talk things through. She spent the afternoon at my office, rearranging things and letting me know what she wanted to take with her, because some of the furniture in the waiting area and admin rooms is hers.”

  “Oh, I see,” Cassie said.

  Relief flared inside her even though she did her best to suppress it.

  “The photos, the memories, are all part of the same process. We agreed after we’d had drinks with the Robinsons that this divorce will be amicable. We have to respect what we’ve built and shared. For the kids, we want to do this in the least confrontational way possible.”

  Then Cassie remembered what she’d seen in the filing cabinet, while searching for any evidence of an upcoming divorce.

  “You had a wedding anniversary and vow renewal earlier this year!” she accused him. “That’s not exactly reassuring to me.”

  Ryan stared at her as if she was crazy.

  “Cassie, who told you that?”

  For a moment Cassie didn’t know what to say. Now she would be the one who’d have to lie, because she couldn’t tell Ryan she’d searched through his private files.

  “One of the children mentioned it,” she said, hoping he wouldn’t ask which one or what they had said.

  “That’s so strange. Why would they have said that to you? Look, we did talk about it early in the year. Trish looked at venues and I think we even had invites designed. I guess, during that process, she might have told the children. When it became clear that a vow renewal wasn’t on the cards, for many reasons, we canned it. If I remember, Trish was actually away over our anniversary, and I took the kids to Brighton for the day.”

  “Oh.” Cassie felt overwhelmed by shame that she’d assumed wrong. “Perhaps I misunderstood.”

  “You must have done.”

  Then Cassie remembered what else had happened that morning.

  “And what about Harriet?” She clenched her jaw and stared up at him, daring him to prove her wrong.

  “What about her?”

  “She said you two slept together!”

  Cassie felt herself tensing in his embrace as she waited for his response. But instead of an outraged denial, Ryan started to laugh.

  “No way! She never said that to you! Please, Cassie, tell me you didn’t believe her.”

  Cassie remembered she’d doubted some of what Harriet had said, but not that.

  “I believed her. She was genuinely devastated.”

  “Well, it seems to be her modus operandi, as I found out yesterday.”

  Ryan’s voice was hard.

  “Her modus operandi? What do you mean?”

  “The Robinsons also hired her for a few months. Vaughan told me over drinks that she stole a number of valuables from their home during that time. When his wife confronted her, Harriet burst into screaming hysterics and said that Vaughan had made passes at her and that she wasn’t comfortable working for them any longer, and was considering pressing charges.”

  “Really?”

  Cassie was disturbed by how plausible this sounded.

  “Given that she’d already asked me out to the pub, and that Trish couldn’t find her gold bracelet yesterday, I decided to nip this in the bud. I called the agency first thing today and asked if they could send someone else. Unfortunately they could only make the change from Friday, but we locked the jewelry away while she was here. I’m glad you’ll no longer have to put up with her rudeness—it was unacceptable and out of line.”

  “Oh. Wow.”

  Cassie didn’t know what to say. It seemed that Ryan had canceled Harriet and not the other way round.

  It was a possibility. Everything he’d said made sense. Cassie felt utterly confused. It was like looking through two ends of a tunnel and seeing two completely different scenarios inside.

  Ryan gently released her and smoothed her hair back from her face. The wind was getting stronger and it was becoming bitingly cold.

  “Please, angel, can I help you carry your bags back inside?”

  “OK,” Cassie agreed.

  In a couple of minutes, her bags were stowed in her bedroom again.

  She thought Ryan would leave her then, but instead he reached into his jacket pocket.

  “You might have wondered how I knew you had gone. It was because I came to find you. I wanted to apologize for what you’ve been through, and explain that it’s been part of a necessary process. Also, I wanted to give you this.”

  To Cassie’s amazement, he produced a large, square velvet box from the inner pocket of his jacket.

  She opened it, and even though she’d been trying not to show any emotion or surprise, she caught her breath as she loo
ked down.

  Inside was an exquisite diamond necklace.

  “I chose it for you today. I wanted you to know beyond doubt how much you mean to me. This is how much I value you. It’s a gift that comes with my heartfelt apology for what you’ve been through, and with my commitment that we will be together soon.”

  Ryan spoke softly in a serious voice.

  Cassie stared down at the diamonds, watching the stones flash with color where their facets reflected the hallway light.

  “It’s beautiful,” she breathed.

  “Wait till you see it in sunlight. It’s magnificent. Most of all, Cassie, most importantly, it’s given with my love.”

  Cassie stood still, holding the box tightly, unable to believe what she’d just heard, because he’d said he loved her.

  “Please, will you stay awhile longer? Just so that I can prove to you that what I’ve said now is the truth?”

  Cassie’s mind was reeling. It was possible that she’d believed alternative versions, which were lies, and that Ryan had meant what he said. Didn’t they say actions spoke louder than words? The gift of this exquisite piece of jewelry was proof of commitment.

  “I’ll stay,” she promised him.

  Ryan’s face softened in relief. He drew her into his arms and kissed her deeply, and as Cassie responded with all the suppressed passion she’d been feeling, she realized her eyes were wet with tears.

  CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

  The next morning, Cassie had thought she would wake up full of hope.

  Instead, as soon as she raised her head, she felt nauseous. Her stomach was churning and tender, and she felt leaden with exhaustion.

  “Ugh,” she said. She sat on her bed and doubled over, hoping that the queasiness would subside, but even the smell of coffee and toast wafting through from the kitchen seemed to be making it worse.

  What had Trish cooked last night? Could the food have been off? Cassie wondered. In that case, the whole family would feel unwell.

  Then a horrific thought occurred to her, which turned her blood to ice.

  She could be pregnant.

  What if she was?

  Cassie closed her eyes, powerless to reason with herself and to stop her imagination from running away with worst-case scenarios.