Prisoner of My Desire

by Johanna Lindsey

  Chapter 35

  The sun made only a brief appearance that morn ere it was swallowed up by the

  bank of gray clouds that had been threatening rain since yesterday. Rowena

  wished it would rain in torrents. Why not? She was already feeling so miserable

  she was sick to her stomach with it. Why should the men guarding her not feel

  some of that misery in discomfort?

  Only six sat around her, appearing relaxed and unconcerned. Gilbert had gone

  with two others to a vantage point where he could watch the comings and goings

  of the castle. He had not actually ordered those men remaining to guard her.

  They saw her now as their lady, so ?twas now their duty to protect her, which

  excluded letting her just leave on her own. But leaving now would not suit her

  new purpose, which was to prevent Gilbert from capturing Fulkhurst.

  He had left her so few options with his threat. Unless Gilbert died himself, her

  mother would pay for whatever Rowena could accomplish to thwart Gilbert?s

  planunless she could do something without his suspecting her of the doing. But

  what could be done so indirectly?

  Of course, she could cut off the head of the snake herself and hope the body

  would then slither away. But if she could manage to kill Gilbert, one of his own

  men was likely to cut her down for it, and she could not see herself as being

  that self sacrificing, not for a man who wanted only revenge against her.

  She could tell Gilbert that Warrick was the man he had held at Kirkburough. That

  might make him so enraged he would do something foolish, mayhap even want to

  challenge Warrick in truth, mayhap even ride after him to do so? She was

  dreaming. Gilbert would never put himself at risk, not knowing the size of the

  army Warrick had taken with him, not certain his own was bigger. She wished she

  knew how big was his army. There had been many men at Kirkburough, but she knew

  Gilbert had counted on hiring many more with Lyons wealth. Had he had a chance

  yet to do so?

  There was one hope that she held fast to, that Gilbert would begin to worry

  about the predictions she had cast about what would happen when he tried to

  enter the castle. If only a few doubts would arise, there was the rest of this

  day for them to magnify. He could, in fact, end up convincing himself that his

  original plan was doomed to fail. Then he would remember the gibe he had made at

  her, and think seriously about using her after all to gain entrance. She would

  then have time to give warning, for in his telling her when his army would

  approach, she knew he did not mean to take the gate as soon as he entered the

  castle. She would likely be taken straightaway to the dungeon, but that would

  benefit her in separating herself from Gilbert, so she could confess who he was

  without his knowing ?twas she who betrayed him.

  Aye, he would use her if he began to be plagued with doubts, and he would do so

  without suspecting that she would want to help the man who had imprisoned her.

  He knew she hated him, but he would think she hated Warrick more.

  She began to feel betteruntil she remembered what awaited her in Fulkhurst?s

  dungeon. Had Beatrix enacted her farce ere she knew Rowena had escaped? If not,

  then she might not have made her accusations, might have decided ?twould serve

  no purpose with Rowena gone. And the capture of Warrick?s worst enemy might stay

  her hand as well, especially if Rowena was ultimately responsible for his

  capture. She might not even be put in the dungeon. They might even be grateful

  to hernay, she was dreaming again. But at the very least, it might make that

  damn jailer think twice about abusing heruntil after Warrick returned and passed

  judgment for her escape. But if she was going to be greeted with that charge of

  theft?

  There was not a thing she could do about that, she realized. Whatever awaited

  her inside the castle she would have to face, if Gilbert decided to use her. But

  she was now not so eager to be used. And she began to look at the men around her

  again, wondering once more if there was not something she was overlooking,

  something that she could say to turn them away from Gilbert?s command, without

  their confronting him about it and thereby exposing her to his rageand his

  retaliation.

  Of the six men left behind with her, only two she was certain were from

  Kirkburough, though all could be. But surely not all. Surely Gilbert would want

  more men he knew to be loyal to him at his back when he took the gate, than not.

  If she could just talk to one of the Kirkburough knights, without Gilbert?s men

  hearing?

  When one of them made mention of a meal, Rowena realized she was starving. But

  she ignored the food in her own sack and got up casually to move away from the

  group. She assumed they would share what they had with her, and hoped one of the

  two she wanted to speak to would bring it. But as usual, her luck would have it

  otherwise. The man who offered her some cold venison and stale bread she did not

  know, and the simple expedient of asking his name got her the additional

  information that he was from Ambray.

  She thanked him but refused his offering, claiming she was not hungry, though

  her belly raged at her for the lie. Then she waited until they had finished

  eating and were relaxed again, then waited a while more, praying Gilbert would

  not return for a meal himself. He did not. And finally she looked directly at

  one of the Kirkburough men and confessed that she was hungry after all.

  He jumped up to fetch her food from his own stores, and after she thanked him,

  she quickly remarked ?I am surprised that you have involved yourself in this

  cause that is not your own and is doomed to fail.?

  Then she hazarded a guess.

  ?And you do it without pay.?

  He did not deny it, saying ?I am sworn to Kirkburough, and Lord Gilbert?

  ?Has no claim there, nor do I,? she got out ere she lost her nerve. She then

  feigned surprise.

  ?But surely you knew that. Without issue from my union with Lord Godwine, his

  brother inherits all. He is now Lord of Kirkburough and is no doubt there now

  and wondering what has become of his brother?s retainers, men he will certainly

  have need of for the rebuilding of his keep. Verily, I do not understand why men

  prefer war and death to building, but obviously you must, or you would not be

  here instead of there.?

  He said naught for a moment. In truth, he seemed incapable of speech. Then he

  gave her a frown that was worthy of Warrick himself.

  ?Why do you tell me this, lady??

  That she had been reminded of Warrick gave her an answer.

  ?I do not want to die, but my stepbrother will not listen to me. He is obsessed

  with killing Fulkhurst, and no wonder, for Fulkhurst has sworn to destroy him.

  But Gilbert does not know the man as I have come to know him as his prisoner.

  You will take his castle easily, aye, but you will never leave it alive, nor

  will I, for Gilbert will drag me back in there as well.?

  ?You make no sense, lady. We will have hostages, the man?s own daughters.?

  ?Think you that will matter to such a ruthless warlord? That is what I cannot

  make Gilbert understand, why he will not li
sten to me. His plan would

  workagainst any other lord. But this lord has no care for his daughters or

  anyone else. He will sacrifice them, as well as his people, without any regrets.

  He will besiege his own castle, but no terms will be offered, no surrender

  accepted. All that man cares about is getting revenge against anyone who dares

  trespass against him.?

  ?What if you are wrong??

  ?What if I am right, sirrah?? Twas not easy keeping exasperation from her tone.

  ?Have you been promised so much that you will take the risk??

  ?You expect me to turn your brother from his goal?? he asked, aghast.

  She was getting nowhere, and the others were starting to look their way,

  wondering what they were speaking of. Why did the man have to be so stalwart and

  dense? A coward was what she needed.

  ?Gilbert will not listen to you either, when all you can tell him is that /

  warned you. Like as not he will clout you for your trouble.?

  Then she sighed, as if in resignation.

  ?I am sorry. I should not have spoken my fears to you, but I thought mayhap you

  might save yourself and any friends you might have at the other camp, since this

  is not your war, nor do you even belong here. I thought to ask you to take me

  with you if you are smart enough to leave, but now I realize you cannot help me.

  Gilbert?s men would stop you. Mayhap I can still convince him to send me to

  Ambray ere he enters the castle. Aye, I will do that.?

  She turned her back on him, praying he would say naught to the others, at least

  not to Gilbert?s men. When she dared to glance around again, she saw him talking

  only to the other Kirkburough knightin earnest.

  Had she finally earned one small piece of luck? If those two would make excuse

  to return to the other camp, warn the Kirkburough men there, mayhap the army

  might actually disperse. If it happened soon enough, Gilbert would have warning

  of it and might give up his plan. He would rant and rave, and call the deserters

  cowards who knew only how to bully town merchants, but what could he do about it?

  He knew he had no right to use Lyons army. She would remind him of that if

  necessarynay, she could not do that, or he would look to her for the reason they

  had departed.

  She would confess instead that she had innocently referred to Fulkhurst as the

  dragon of the north, and that the man she spoke to had turned white as a shroud.

  She would then demand to know if Gilbert had not warned his men that Fulkhurst

  was the renowned dragon, that they had obviously heard of him as far south as

  Kiricburough, but had not made the connection ere then. She would be at fault,

  but innocently, so Gilbert would not blame her too muchshe hoped.

  At any rate, he would not chase after those men if he were convinced they were

  cowards and would not now fight for him. He would have to come up with some

  other scheme to gain another army, and unfortunately, he had her again to do it.

  As soon as he realized that, he would not be so mad. But as soon as he realized

  it, she would be more heavily guarded. God?s mercy, was there no way out of this

  dilemma for herself?

  But the man she had spoken to did not try to leave any time soon. She began to

  think he was too brave for his own good when one of the men who had gone with

  Gilbert returned to warn that several patrols had been sent out from the castle,

  likely to search for Rowena. She was inclined to agree. Whether she was runaway

  serf or escaped prisoner, the castle guards were obligated to find her or face

  Warrick?s wrath. But their search was not to Gilbert?s liking, for it put his

  plan in danger.

  A man was to go and warn the other camp just in case the searchers went that

  deeply into the woods. If the army was sighted, they were to capture the men,

  for at no cost were tales of their presence to return to the castle. Both the

  Kirkburough men volunteered to go, then suggested they ride together in case

  they came upon one of the patrols.

  ?Twas all Rowena could do to keep from smiling.

  Chapter 36

  The afternoon dragged by with nerve racking slowness. Rowena went through

  countless imaginings of what was going to happen, but the fact remained that

  unless the other camp was in the next shire, one of Gilbert?s men should have

  returned ere now to report that the Kirkburough men were departingunless they

  were not departing.

  That was, of course, possible. The two men who left here might not have bothered

  to stop to save their comrades from ?certain death,? but merely decided to save

  themselves. Or she could have misconstrued their eagerness to leave with wishful

  thinking. For that matter, the man she spoke to might not have said aught of her

  tale to his friend. Their earnest talk could have been about something else

  entirely, her tale discounted since it came from a frightened woman.

  She must have been mad to think a few words from her would panic a large army of

  mennay, she had not hoped to panic them, merely to point out that they did not

  belong in this war, would not get paid for participating, and would be better

  served by returning to their rightful lord. Fat lot of good it had done her.

  With rain still threatening, it had been impossible to tell when dusk was

  approaching. Suddenly ?twas just there, and so was Gilbert, riding pell mell

  through the trees in his excitement, bringing his poor horse to a painful stop.

  He did not seem to notice that the number of men he had left behind had

  decreased, but mayhap he did not intend to use them all anyway. After all, the

  more men who rode with him, the less chance he would have of gaining entrance to

  a closed castle no matter his reasons.

  He did not dismount, merely did he locate Rowena and hold out his hand to her.

  ?I have decided to say I found you on the road, without escort, and as you would

  not tell me whence you came, I was forced to bring you with me.

  ?Us my hope they will take you off my hands, as my business for the king is

  urgent and cannot be delayed even for so comely a lady.?

  Then he grinned widely to ask her ?Think you they will relieve me of the burden

  of you??

  ?Since they were liable to be dismissed or severely whipped for letting me

  escape to begin with, aye, I do not doubt the drawbridge will be lowered.?

  She made her voice as surly as possible, as if she despised the idea. It must

  have worked, for he laughed.

  ?Fret not, Rowena. You need endure that dungeon for only a few hours more, then

  never again. Is that not worth Fulkhursf?s downfall, after what he has done to

  you??

  She would not answer that. What Warrick had done to her was get even for what

  Gilbert had done to her. The one man she had not blamed too much. He felt

  himself justified. The other she would blame forever.

  ?// you succeed in your plan, Gilbert, will be soon enough to see what my

  imprisonment is worth.?

  Since he had expected just such a response from her, he was not displeased.

  There was naught much that could displease him right now, with the taste of

  victory so close. But Rowena?s surliness was not all feigned. She was glad that

  the doubts she had planted had borne fruit. She would be ab
le to foil Gilbert?s

  scheme and get him captured in the process, which was worth whatever it cost her.

  But she would have preferred her other strategy to have worked instead, so she

  would not end up back in Warrick?s hands as she would now. The other would have

  left her with Gilbert, but before he could find a new use for her, she would

  have found a way to be rid of him and his threats.

  But ?twas not to be. She looked once toward the deeper woods ere they rode off,

  but there was still no sign of his men coming to warn that he had lost his army.

  Thrice more she looked back. There was still time. But all was quiet behind them.

  Then they were before the gates of Fulkhurst, and Gilbert was calling out his

  false name, his status as Stephen?s messenger, his contrived tale of finding

  Rowena on the roadside. She did not listen to the story a second time, nor did

  she look up from her perch behind Gilbert so she might be recognized by the

  guards in the gatehouse. She did not feel like being any more helpful. She was

  there. She would do what she had to do. But more and more she was resenting that

  she had to.

  She looked behind them one last time, and there? was that one of Gilbert?s men

  racing toward them down the road? And slowing when he saw them before the castle?

  Had those Kirkburough knights waited until near dark, then, to pass on her tale?

  Smart men after all. In the dark, Gilbert would not give chase. He would be

  inside the castle, waiting for an army to appear that would not, and thanks to

  her embellishment on Warrick?s ruthlessness, that army expected that to be the