He squeezed her tighter. “There is every chance you can avoid him. I sent him and his hulking ship south.”
“South?” she asked, lifting up once again. “Where south?”
Noah sighed. He’d not keep the truth from her. Not this time. “He’s gone to fetch Bash.”
“Drat,” she mumbled, taking another bite of bread. “Meddling cousins and overbearing cousin-in-laws.”
She took the last bite of bread and then popped the bit of cheese into her mouth. He laced her fingers into his, snuggling her forehead into the crook of his neck.
He’d had a long day to think about what he should do differently if he found her.
And he’d come to a few critical decisions. The first was that he’d support Avery however he could.
“Don’t worry about them. Not tonight. They’re a problem for tomorrow. Or, if we’re lucky, the next day.”
She nodded against him. “Good idea. I’m too tired to think about it.”
“You must be.” He began trailing his fingers up and down the length of her back. “We’ll be home in just a few minutes, but you can sleep if you like.”
“It’s all right,” she murmured. “This feels wonderful.”
He smiled at that. “Did you decide what else you wish to eat?”
“Whatever the cook made,” she answered. “Anything will taste delicious now.”
His hand came up to stroke down her cheek.
“I was such a fool today.”
Her voice held a sadness that made his heart break a bit. “No, you weren’t,” he answered. “In fact, I think you were incredibly smart.”
She lifted up again, cocking a brow as she looked at him. “How do you figure that?”
“You taught me some valuable lessons today that were long overdue.” He still held her cheek and he placed a tiny kiss on the tip of her nose.
“I did?”
“Yes,” he replied, lifting his other hand to her face. “You did.”
“Such as?” Her eyes crinkled in question.
He couldn’t help it; he kissed that spot between her brows. “I thought if I could avoid a match with emotion, I could also avoid the hurt I experienced with Lily. I was trying to hold myself away because I was afraid.”
She drew in a sharp gasp and then her lips were covering his. He still held her face and he kissed her back with all the emotion swirling inside.
She leaned back slowly, her lips clinging to his before she finally cleared her throat and spoke. “Relationships are a risk, aren’t they?”
“They certainly are,” he answered. “But I want you to know something.”
“What?” she searched his face as their breath mingled.
“No matter what happens with the future, I will always keep you safe.”
Chapter Thirteen
Avery looked into his eyes, the rest of the world melting away.
No, he hadn’t confessed his love, but he had offered commitment and protection, and for tonight, that was enough.
In a life where even security had been precarious, she appreciated the gesture a great deal. “Thank you,” she breathed.
Avery knew what was coming tomorrow.
Bash would arrive with Ewan. Noah was right. Bash had already made up his mind on the match and he’d try and force Avery into it. Did she have a choice? Likely not. But she had a voice, and she’d express it…at length.
And at least if she did marry Noah, he was committed to her care. That had to count for something. And she knew he’d be kinder than her father, but in the end, however, she’d get neither of her wishes. He’d said nothing of love, and she had no real choice.
She pushed the thoughts aside. For tonight, she’d just enjoy the warmth of his embrace, the joy that came with being held close.
She buried her head into his neck again just as the carriage slowed to a stop.
Once inside, Noah whisked her upstairs and within minutes, her dressing table was laden with food even as buckets of water were being poured into a tub that had also been brought up.
She took several bites of a delightful orange before she began to strip her clothes. The water looked inviting and it would be lovely to be clean.
She’d stripped off her dress and was working down her petticoats when the door to her dressing closet opened.
Her hands froze, as she looked over her shoulder to see Noah enter the room.
“Let me help you,” he said as he came striding over.
“That…I mean…you can’t,” she fumbled with her words even as her fingers tangled in the strings. The man was ruining her concentration.
“I can.” He brushed his lips across her cheek. “Remember last night? We’ve been tangled together for days. I don’t see what the difference is.”
“You don’t?” she choked out, even as he loosened her petticoats, the fabric pooling on the floor. He started on her corset. “I was not, have never been, that is to say… You’ve not seen me…” Heat infused her cheeks.
“Naked?” he chuckled. “I know. I’m quite looking forward to it.”
She pulled away. “And what Noah will I get in the morning?”
He winced at that. “You’ll get this one. I’m done holding myself away from you, Avery. I’m yours to do what you will with.” And he held his arms out. It reminded her of that first night in the inn and despite herself, she relaxed.
“And what if I wanted to see you…” her voice dropped, “naked.” Her own stomach fluttered at her own boldness. Where had that come from? But she didn’t wish to pull the words back. In fact, as they settled between them, she found she liked them a great deal. They were bold, and brash, and her choice.
His hands stayed up, but his eyes developed a devilish twinkle. “My lady,” he murmured, his voice taking on a husky quality that left her breathless, “You should not make such requests of a rogue unless you mean them.”
In answer, she lifted the hem of her chemise and pulled her pantaloons out from under, revealing her stockings and garters.
She heard a low deep rumble from deep in his chest and in a flash his jacket was off, tossed onto the bed.
Would she regret this decision tomorrow? She wasn’t certain. But she knew she wanted to touch him before anyone told her it was her duty. This night was for her.
“On the bed,” he growled out.
“What about the bath?” she asked, looking back at the steaming water.
He gave a low throaty chuckle. “Oh, you’re getting in the bath. I just want to take your stockings off, love.”
She shivered at the idea of his hands on her legs, goose pimples breaking out all over her flesh. But she complied, half running on tiptoe as she made her way to the bed.
He loosened his cravat, the bit of fabric landing on the floor, the shirt following as he sauntered over to join her. “Your left foot, love.”
She lifted it and gasped in pleasure as his fingers pressed into her flesh just above her knee. Untying her garter, he rolled the stocking down her leg, sending a shower of tingles racing through her. Then he did the same to her other leg, adding a kiss to the inside of her knee.
She reached out a hand, trailing it through his hair.
Their gazes locked and for a moment neither moved. Then he shot up and sat next to her on the bed, tugging at his boots.
When he lifted her, her chemise still on, she gave a bit of yelp but reached around his neck. He carried her over the tub and set her lightly on her feet again. “Avery,” he said, his voice so gravelly, it made her shiver again. “I’m going to take off your chemise but I’m only going to look into your eyes.”
Her breath caught. Something about those words…they made her feel…cherished. Safe. How did he do that? “All right,” she answered. “I’m ready.”
His gaze never left hers as he reached for the hem. They stayed locked together as he bunched the fabric in his hands, his grey-green eyes sparkled in the candlelight with the tiniest flecks of gold until the fabric sailed over
her head. Their gazes only broke for that second her chemise blocked her eyes, and when her vision returned, his gaze was there, unwavering.
She forgot to be afraid. Didn’t care that she hadn’t a stitch of clothing. All she could see was him.
Noah stared down at her, time forgotten as Avery’s warm brown eyes locked with his. He could read them as though they were a story or a book of poems.
They spoke of heartache and need, strength, and a desire to give despite all she’d been through. He didn’t deserve her, Noah felt that deep in his bones, but he was determined to give her what she needed in this world. And right now…she needed a bath.
He cupped her cheek in one hand and with the other, her waist. Silky soft skin met his rougher palm and he nearly groaned aloud at the sheer creaminess of her flesh. “In you go,” he whispered. “Careful now.”
She stepped into the tub and sank down, drawing her knees over her chest. He’d yet to look down but he still grinned at her display of modesty. With a small chuckle, he turned away and headed for the food tray.
“Where are you going?” she asked, confusion coloring her tone.
“You, love, need more to eat,” he returned and grabbed a hunk of ham that sat on the tray of food. Then he crossed back over to her and knelt down next to the tub.
She smiled as he held the meat out to her, and then she tipped her mouth open wider. Gently, she took a bite from his hand. And when she’d finished the morsel, her tongue darted out to lick a crumb off his thumb.
Hot need coursed through him.
From the first, everything had felt deeper with Avery than any experience before it. He’d wondered why but suddenly he knew. When he’d needed emotional comfort, she’d been there. And now, he wanted to be there for her.
It made the tie between them stronger.
It would also make it hurt worse if something happened to her but even if he was afraid for himself, he’d realized, he had to open himself up for her benefit. That’s what love was.
“Noah,” she said the moment her lips had left his thumb.
“Yes?”
“You still have your clothes on.”
Did his woman need him stripped bare? “Ask and you shall receive.”
And then he stood. He had no qualms about her seeing every inch of him. And so, without another word, he stripped down his pants. “Fitting in that tub with you is going to be a challenge, but I’m up for the task.”
She gasped out a giggle as her eyes got measurably larger. He stood still as she perused him from top to bottom, her gaze lingering on his member. “Oh,” was all she managed to say as she stared.
“Don’t be afraid,” he said as he grabbed the soap. Then he stepped to the back of the tub. “Now slide forward, I’m climbing in behind you.”
In the end, it wasn’t pretty and one of his legs spilled over the side, along with a great deal of water, but he squeezed himself in. And then he began to soap.
He started with her back but when it had been thoroughly scrubbed, he moved to her arms then her hands, twining their fingers together and then her front.
When his palms slid over her ample breasts she moaned, arching into him even as her head settled on his shoulder. Now he had an excellent view of her chest and breasts bobbing in the warm water and what he saw had him stiff as a board. And when he slid his hand lower, over the flat of her stomach, he stopped for a moment to brush along her wet curls.
She whimpered, her body arching to give him better access and when he slid his fingers lower, brushing along her most intimate flesh she cried out.
The noise filled with lust but even more importantly a deep satisfaction. He wanted to please her, to give her pleasure.
He glided his fingers through again as she twisted in the tub, writhing under his hand.
“That’s it, love,” he crooned in her ear, his other arm holding her tight against him. Both her hands dug into his forearm, her gasps and moans of pleasure filling him as they held locked together.
And when she broke apart, Noah knew he’d belong to her forever.
He didn’t give her recovery time as he slid out from behind her, heaving himself from the tub. The bath had been lovely, but he needed room. He intended to explore every inch of her.
Taking both her hands, he helped her from the tub. This time, he devoured her with his eyes, taking in her tiny waist, the flare of her hips, the length of her legs. She was stunning and he intended to worship every inch.
Pulling her close, they kissed their way to the bed and then fell down onto the fluffy mattress together, her arms locking about his neck.
And while he’d intended on exploring her body with his mouth, the head of his manhood came into contact with her slick folds and a low rumble reverberated in his chest. And when her legs came up around his waist, he was lost. Lost to reason and so far from control, he could barely articulate a thought.
All he knew was that he belonged here in her arms and as he sank into her warmth, she welcomed him with a purring next to his ear. He loved this woman with all his heart, and he was finally home.
Chapter Fourteen
There was pain. Avery acknowledged that the way one might view a rainstorm when one was safe and dry inside. Distantly, she felt it, a pinch followed by a burning sensation.
But far greater was the feeling of oneness, of being complete, that came with being joined like this.
It was something she’d treasure for the rest of her life.
When he was fully seated inside her, he stopped. Finding her lips, he gave her a long slow kiss as her body adjusted.
Pulling back, he looked down into her eyes. “Next time, I’m going to kiss every inch of you.”
“Next time I take a bath?” she teased, sliding a hand down his back. She knew what he’d meant. And she supposed he was correct in assuming there would be a next time.
Just like he’d been right about their marriage. The choice had been made without her.
She gave her head a little shake. She didn’t want to think about that now. This was her moment. Her chance to have a say.
“You know very well I meant the next time we make love,” he said as he kissed her again.
She let out a sigh, loving the way he felt but sad that some of her joy had been diminished by the reminder that after today, she had no more freedom left. “Let’s just enjoy now,” she murmured and then kissed him again.
But he pulled back, staring down at her. “You’re not going to leave again, are you?”
She shook her head. “No. I’m not.” She’d face her future with the strength that had carried her through her past. But she didn’t have to talk about it. Not now. “I just want to enjoy being with you.”
He smoothed her hair back as he slowly pulled out again. When he pushed back in the pain had lessened a great deal. “I want to enjoy the moment too,” he said, sliding his hands behind her head so that they both cradled her head while being buried in her hair. “But as much as I am enthralled with touching you, there is more I need to say.”
He pulled slowly out and pushed back in, and this time, it didn’t hurt. “What?”
“I…” He swallowed and then kissed her. “I love you, Avery.”
That made her throat clog with emotion even as her arms tightened about his neck. Did he mean that? As he looked down at her, his gaze unwavering, she could hear the truth in his words.
And love…that made all this worth it. What she had to give up, it was a worthy sacrifice for his heart. “I love you, too.”
He kissed her long and slow, and as he pushed back inside her, pleasure pulsed through her, radiating out from her core. “I’ll care for you always, love.”
“I know you will,” she answered. Her every need would be met, of that she was certain. It was more beautiful than she’d ever hoped for.
They started moving in a slow regular rhythm that made her insides sizzle with passion until she was gasping for breath.
How could she feel this good again s
o soon?
She’d only just shattered in his arms in the tub and now her insides were tightening again.
“Noah,” she gasped, her fingers digging into his back.
“I know.” He held her tighter. “Me too.”
They hadn’t said much of anything, and yet, they’d said everything. He was right there with her, their bodies perfectly in tune as they kept moving together.
The tension built until she was sure she couldn’t stand another second of it, and then she shattered, crying out her pleasure.
Which seemed to send him careening over the edge and he growled out his own pleasure, his body spasming as he held her tight.
Avery wasn’t certain how long they lay locked together, but finally, he rolled to the side and she realized that she’d fallen asleep even as he settled her against his side. “Don’t leave in the morning,” she murmured.
“Don’t worry.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’ll be right here when you wake.”
“Good,” she said as she snuggled closer, her head in his chest. This was her favorite spot in the entire world, and, in another bright revelation, she’d never have to give it up.
Noah held her close, marveling at the way Avery fit against him.
Their lovemaking had been the most beautiful thing he’d ever experienced, and he had every intention of doing so again.
But he’d also noted that when he’d brought up the future…she’d closed herself again and it had taken some coaxing to get her to open back up.
He sighed and she stirred in her sleep.
He started lightly stroking her back to help her settle once again.
The problem was that now he realized what he had. He had love, he had a woman whom he cherished and who’d managed to effortlessly soothe the hurts of this world.
But she needed something from him and every time he brought up the future, he reminded her that he wasn’t giving it to her.
She wanted some measure of control.
His eyes squeezed shut. He knew what she needed, and when he really thought about it, he knew how to give it to her.
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