Sweetest Thing

by Natasha West

  Alex, mid-sip, nearly choked on her beer. ‘TV show?’

  ‘Yeah. Bake It! You know it?’ Jodie asked with convincing naivete.

  Alex hesitated, some of the colour draining from her face. ‘Yeah. Sure. Baking contest, isn’t it?’

  ‘That’s right. All the out of town contestants are put up here.’

  ‘Are they?’ Alex asked innocently, trying to regain her composure.

  ‘Yes. Let’s see, there’s me, Dorothy, Susan, who am I forgetting…’ She creased her brow, searching for a name she knew damn well. ‘Oh, that’s right, your girlfriend. Robyn.’

  Alex didn’t do a spit take because she’d put the beer down, but her horrified face was still pretty marvellous. ‘You knew who I was?’

  ‘I did,’ Jodie told her with the first genuine smile of the conversation.

  ‘Are you gonna tell Robyn?’ Alex asked, trying not to look as petrified as she obviously was.

  Jodie thought about it, but there was really only one answer to that. ‘Nope. Not my place.’

  Alex breathed out a sigh of relief. ‘So what the fuck was all this about?’

  Jodie hadn’t been entirely sure on the way down to the bar, but somewhere between sitting down and dropping Robyn’s name, she knew why she’d done it. ‘My real name is Jodie. Has Robyn ever mentioned me?’

  Alex let out a shocked guffaw. ‘She has, as it happens.’

  ‘She hates me, doesn’t she?’ Jodie asked neutrally.

  ‘Kind of, yeah,’ Alex said, confused.

  ‘It’s mutual. She’s been a total pain in my arse since this whole thing started. She’s a needy perfectionist with a stick up her arse the size of the Eiffel Tower.’

  ‘True. Where are you going with this?’ Alex asked.

  ‘I just want you to know that despite my dislike of her, I still think she’s way too good for a sleazy piece of shit like you.’

  ‘Pah!’ Alex cried, pretending amusement. But Jodie could see something in her eyes, her attack wasn’t without impact.

  Jodie turned and walked out then. It was too good of an exit line to waste. She got back in the lift, and went back to her room, got into bed and went to sleep. Her last thought as she drifted off was to wonder if it was enough to tell Alex off? Could she really just let this slide?

  Eleven

  Robyn was brushing her teeth in the bathroom, the mirror giving her a good view of the adjoined room. She was watching Alex, lying in bed, flicking through channels on TV. Every two seconds, click, not stopping to see what she was passing. By Robyn’s reckoning, she’d looped three times. There was no doubt. Alex was off. ‘Alex,’ Robyn called through, toothbrush still in her mouth.

  Alex blinked and turned to the bathroom. ‘Huh? Yeah, what?’

  ‘Are you alright?’ Robyn asked, removing the toothbrush.

  ‘Me, yeah, why?’ Alex asked quickly.

  ‘Dunno, you just seem a bit…’

  ‘I’m great,’ Alex said, jumping out of bed, slapping a smile on her face. She went into the bathroom and kissed Robyn on the cheek, then sat down to pee.

  Robyn watched her for a second and then carried on brushing her teeth.

  ***

  ‘Croissants!’ Madeline announced.

  Susan looked quite happy. Dorothy looked unsure for a change. Reuben was neutral. Darnell was thoughtful. Jen looked hungover. Jodie seemed distracted.

  But Robyn was thrilled. She could do a croissant in her sleep. And there were lemons available on the flavour table. She could make her lemon drizzle croissants. She’d only done them once before, but they’d been crowd-pleasers at work when she bought them for a morning meeting. The whole room had enlivened as people tucked in. Were they winners, though? She didn’t know about that. She was simply relieved that she wasn’t completely out of her depth today.

  Madeline told them to get cracking, and off she went, tossing carefully measured portions of flour, milk, yeast, egg, and butter, creating the dough. A cameraman popped up, along with a jolly Madeline. ‘So what are we making today, then, Robyn?’

  Robyn told her.

  ‘That sounds delicious,’ Madeline said. ‘Have you made them before?’

  ‘I have.’

  ‘And I take it they were a hit?’

  ‘I’d like to think so,’ Robyn said, fixing her bowl into the mixer.

  ‘Robyn, you’re always so modest,’ Madeline said to her.

  Robyn shrugged. ‘I can’t brag, I’m up against some incredible bakers,’ she said truthfully. There were two to three people who were in a different league, so there was no point banging on about how good these croissants were. She didn’t want to look silly if she was eliminated.

  ‘I think you can afford to brag a little,’ Madeline said with a wink.

  Robyn laughed nervously. ‘We’ll see.’

  ‘So, who have you made them for.’

  ‘I made them for work. I bought a couple home though, and my girlfriend polished them off,’ Robyn added.

  ‘She’s a fan of your baking, I take it?’ Madeline asked with a smile.

  ‘I think so. Unless she’s just being kind because she loves me,’ Robyn replied. She heard a loud clatter, and she and Madeline turned to see that Jodie had dropped a whisk.

  ‘Well, an unusually clumsy moment from Jodie!’ Madeline exclaimed with some delight.

  A camera jumped onto Jodie as she picked up the whisk. She shrugged into the lens and carried on.

  Robyn didn’t comment. But she had to concur. Jodie was the model of control. Odd to see her do something so ungainly. What with Alex’s strangeness this morning, it seemed everyone was being out of character today.

  A small moan of horror came from the back of the studio, and everyone turned to see Darnell bringing a batch of croissants out of the oven. They looked big. Huge, in fact. ‘My prosecco croissants! They’ve gone fat!’

  Dorothy heard the commotion and came over. ‘How much yeast did you use?! They look like rugby balls!’

  ‘Normal amount!’ Darnell protested.

  ‘I don’t think so, love,’ Dorothy said apologetically.

  Robyn had to concur. The croissants were bad. Darnell had just put his head on the chopping block with a real schoolboy error. But maybe it was for the best. Prosecco croissants sounded bloody awful.

  ***

  Robyn breathed a sigh of relief as she finished her ‘Baker’s Confessional,’ in a small room on the set, decorated with kitschy baking apparatus. The confessionals were something the bakers had to do periodically. Robyn hated it. She could only say one thing. ‘That was a challenge. I just hope I did enough to stay.’ She could tell Madeline wanted more, but she wasn’t getting it. Robyn wasn’t going to be one of those Bake It! contestants who broke down in tears in the interviews. No sir. She’d come in feeling weak and so far, she’d kept ahold of herself, no meltdowns. But that didn’t mean it couldn’t happen. She couldn’t risk getting too honest, just in case.

  Robyn was released from the confessional, and she headed out to get some lunch. They were getting the judgment afterwards.

  At lunch in the studio cafeteria, Robyn sat down with a sarnie and listened to Sanjay relate how he was pretty sure he was going this week. Robyn didn’t know about that. She’d seen his croissants. She didn’t know how they tasted, but they looked good, that was for sure. Perfectly rolled, glistening glaze. Pretty pastry. But Sanjay didn’t seem so sure. Of course, Dorothy was on hand to offer grandmotherly kindness. ‘Sanjay, you mustn’t be so hard on yourself. I tasted those chocolate orange muffins you made last week, and I want the recipe, young man.’

  Sanjay smiled shyly. ‘Thanks, Dorothy.’

  Susan made a small huff noise. ‘Everything alright, Sue?’ Darnell asked her.

  ‘I really don’t go by Sue,’ Susan said shortly.

  ‘Sorry, dude. I mean, Susan,’ Darnell said, putting his eyes back on his salad.

  ‘We’re all nervous, Susan. No need to be mean to poor Darnell,’ Dorothy to
ld her. ‘He’s had a rough enough morning as it-’

  ‘I’m not nervous!’ Susan said, far too loudly.

  Robyn caught Jodie’s eye-roll at the other end of the room. Robyn thought that if Susan wanted to see what genuinely unphased looked like, she could take a tip or two from her.

  Only, Jodie didn’t really seem so cool today. She seemed jumpy. Maybe it was getting into week two. Maybe she was finally starting to feel the pressure.

  But later, on set, as they waited for Adam and Imogen to pop out and shit on their dreams, Dorothy sidled up to Robyn for a chat, and they got onto the topic of partners. Dorothy was long married to Bert, who was into gardening and distilling his own gin. ‘So, what about you? Did I hear you mention a lady friend?’ Dorothy asked.

  Robyn had to smile at the euphemism. ‘There’s a girlfriend, yes.’

  ‘And you’re… Are you planning to get married?’

  ‘Funny you should mention that,’ Robyn admitted. ‘I found a ring a little while ago. I think she might be going to propose.’

  ‘And you’ll say yes, of course?’

  ‘Err, well…’ Robyn began and then realised that someone was listening. She turned to see Jodie watching them intently, very obviously eavesdropping. When she realised she’d been spotted, she turned away quickly.

  Robyn turned back to Dorothy, pretending to have not seen Jodie’s weirdness. ‘Well, I’ll see if she’s actually going to ask me,’ she said diplomatically. The second that was out of her mouth, she realised something. There was a camera on her. ‘Oh, err, hang on…’ she wittered into the camera.

  Madeline was closer than Robyn realised, practically behind her. ‘Something wrong?’

  Robyn squirmed. ‘Any chance you could, maybe, I don’t know, not put that in the show? About proposing? Because if she doesn’t ask, I’m gonna feel a bit silly.’ She didn’t want to add that if Alex did ask, she didn’t know what the answer would be either. But she was thinking it very loudly.

  Madeline laughed. ‘Sure, alright. But if she asks you in the next couple of weeks, let us know. It’ll be a cute moment.’

  Robyn had no intention of this moment ever seeing the light of day but she said, ‘Sure.’

  ***

  Robyn waited in the usual line at the front of the set, nervous, hopeful, scared. Madeline did the preamble, ramping up as she announced, ‘So today’s top baker is… Susan!’

  Susan looked faint for a moment, and then she beamed. Robyn was only slightly disappointed. She hadn’t truly thought it would be her.

  But if Susan did have to win, Robyn hoped she’d relax a bit. The woman always seemed on the verge of murdering everyone in the studio if her dough didn’t rise quickly enough.

  ‘And now the tough bit. The person that’s going home is… Darnell.’

  Darnell’s jaw dropped. ‘Ahh sh… Well.’

  Robyn sighed. Poor guy. He was a bit pretentious, but there were other people she might have liked to get eliminated in his place.

  But the woman in question wasn’t going anywhere.

  ***

  ‘Do you want anything from the trolley?’ Robyn asked as the guy came up the train aisle, rattling his wares.

  ‘What? Oh, no, I don’t think so. Well, maybe a beer. And a packet of crisps. A Snickers if they’ve got it,’ Alex said distractedly.

  Robyn ordered the list, along with a coffee for herself, and handed the small picnic to Alex. Alex immediately took a long swig of the beer.

  ‘You alright?’ Robyn enquired.

  ‘You asked me that this morning,’ Alex grumbled.

  ‘Sorry,’ Robyn apologised. ‘But you still don’t seem yourself.’

  ‘I’m fine,’ Alex said.

  ‘It’s just… you haven’t said anything about me getting through to the third week,’ Robyn mumbled. She’d thought she’d get congratulations, at least. ‘So you’re coming back next week?’ was all Alex had.

  She was slightly contrite now, though. ‘Sorry, Babe. It’s great. I guess… I guess I just took it for granted you’d get through.’

  Robyn took a sip of coffee. ‘Oh. Alright.’

  ‘Was… Was everyone else happy to get through?’ Alex asked.

  ‘Obviously, yes.’

  ‘Even, err, what was her name? The ice queen you’ve been complaining about? Is her name Jodie or something?’ Alex asked, her eyes on a bag of crisps she was struggling to open.

  ‘Ha, you’re kidding. She’s a robot. She wouldn’t react if she accidentally set herself on fire.’

  Alex chuckled, still trying to get the crisps open. ‘Ha, yeah, I bet.’

  ‘Funny you should mention her. She’ll probably be on this train.’

  Alex finally managed to get the crisp bag open with a bit too much success. Crisps went flying. ‘What?’ she asked, slightly alarmed.

  ‘Yeah, she lives in Medford, did I not mention that?’ Robyn said with a frown. Why did Alex look so freaked out?

  ‘Yeah?’ Alex asked, cramming crisps into her mouth.

  ‘Alex, I don’t want you to get angry or anything, but are you sure nothing’s-’

  ‘Hey, you wanna get married?’ Alex asked quickly, mouth full of crisps.

  Robyn’s hand gripped tightly on her coffee, and she put it down carefully, worried she would duplicate Alex’s crisp bag accident. ‘What?’

  Alex put a hand in her pocket and pulled out a ring box. ‘Yeah. Been thinking about it for a while and I got a ring. So what you think?’

  Robyn gaped at Alex’s hopeful face and at the box. ‘Err…’

  A door at the end of the carriage suddenly banged open, and someone stepped through. It was Jodie. Robyn was absolutely thrilled to see her. ‘Jodie! Hi.’

  Jodie saw Robyn waving at her down the aisle, and she looked confused, as well she might. She and Robyn had managed to avoid exchanging a single word this weekend. It had been wonderful. But now Robyn needed her mortal enemy to get her out of a serious pickle.

  ‘Hi,’ Jodie said neutrally, as she reached Robyn’s seat. ‘The toilet in my carriage is out of order, I was just-’

  ‘What a crazy story,’ Robyn said with a burst of fake laughter. ‘So this week’s judging was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? Poor Darnell.’

  Jodie nodded. ‘I guess.’ She glanced over Robyn’s head, at the window seat that Alex occupied.

  ‘Sorry, how rude. This is Alex, my girlfriend,’ Robyn said with a glance to the woman with the ring. Alex smiled, and she shot out a hand, just missing Robyn’s coffee. ‘Nice to meet you, Jodie.’

  ‘Yeah, hi,’ Jodie replied. But Jodie didn’t take the hand. Eventually, Alex dropped hers.

  Robyn felt a strangeness to the atmosphere. But she put it down to Jodie being Jodie. ‘So, it’s bread week next week. You know what you’re doing?’ Robyn asked.

  Jodie shrugged. ‘Not really.’ And then her eyes fixed on something. Robyn followed the gaze to see that she was looking at the ring box on the fold-out table. She prayed that Jodie wouldn’t mention it.

  Jodie did mention it, though. But not remotely in the way that Robyn had imagined. ‘Look, I really don’t want to do this, but I can see a ring box, so I assume this one,’ she nodded at Alex, ‘has popped the question.’

  Alex tensed in her seat. ‘As a matter of fact, we were just in the middle of that very private conversation, so if you wouldn’t mind…’ Alex said quickly, nodding up the train.

  Robyn thought that was a bit rude, but she was less concerned with that than the thing Jodie had just said. ‘You don’t want to do what?’ she asked Jodie.

  Jodie bit the inside of her cheek and looked around the mostly empty carriage. ‘Fuck. OK.’ She inhaled deeply. ‘Robyn, I know you and me aren’t exactly best mates, but I think I should do you a solid and tell you-’

  Alex half stood in the small space, grabbing her beer so as not to knock it over. ‘Jodie, the toilet’s that way!’ she nearly screamed, pointing up the other end of the carriage.

  ‘Alex,
what’s wrong with you?’ Robyn asked, looking over her shoulder, shocked.

  ‘She’s a player,’ Jodie finished quietly. ‘She tried to pick me up last night.’

  Robyn looked back to Jodie, and the fake smile that had been plastered on her face for the last couple of minutes fell off. ‘Jesus, Jodie. That’s low. She was in my room all night. Is this some weird psych-out tactic? Because it’s really pathetic.’