The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Dr. Death is right,” James said flatly as he looked at all of us. “In fact, New York isn’t even in the equation any longer. He’s gotten what he needed here.”

  “Two covens’ worth of vampires?”

  “Yes, vampires, some of whom are knowledgeable about our power structure. Coven Master Alice, the one you call Starlight, she’s familiar with the layout, the staff...” He trailed off, looking almost ill. I really didn’t like seeing him like this. Somehow, in the space of a second, it managed to erase all the hope I’d felt when he’d first arrived to help us out.

  “You don’t mean...?” Sally asked, leaving the question hanging.

  “Sadly, I do. Our seat of power in this region. The stronghold from whence we have been coordinating all war efforts in the Northeast.”

  “Oh shit,” I said, realization sinking in. “He’s going after Boston.”

  It Sure Beats Driving

  The first rays of sunlight had started to peek over the buildings of downtown Manhattan when we arrived back at the safe house. Due to the late hour and the chaos in the streets, we’d been forced to use the tunnels to make the return journey. Sadly, that rendered cell service unusable - something that in our rush we didn’t bother to remember until we were well under way.

  Calibra was in the living room, watching the news, when we walked through the front door. She barely even flinched when we entered. Obviously, she wasn’t immune to the general arrogance any vampire over a century old seemed to be inflicted with.

  “Wanderer,” she said, rising. “Your timing is impeccable. Another few minutes and I would have carried out your orders. I trust the hunt was successful.”

  “Anything but,” he replied, clearly agitated. “We will need to follow through, regardless. I just wish I had the foresight to have done so sooner.”

  “Wanderer?”

  James ignored her, though. He already had his cell out and was dialing a number.

  Calibra looked toward the rest of us, her eyes briefly settling upon Sally as if to size her up. “I know you.”

  Recognition flashed in Sally’s eyes after a moment. “Aren’t you that bitch who...”

  “Prefect,” she corrected, her tone dangerous. “I am Calibra, Prefect of the Northeastern Covens. Now would you care to reword that question?”

  “About you being a bitch? Not at all. I’m outside of your jurisdiction. Sally,” she said, holding out her hand, “master of Pandora Coven, Las Vegas.”

  “Please,” James hissed, “we do not have time for games.”

  “Oh yeah,” I said, trying to ward off any potential conflict. “Listen, Calibra, you need to get on the horn with Boston now.”

  “I don’t take orders from...”

  “Don’t argue! Just do it because if we’re right, then they’re about to receive some very unpleasant company.”

  She narrowed her eyes at my insolence, but stopped short of kicking my ass in front of company. “I was speaking to my staff manager just an hour ago, going over invoices from the past quarter. There was nothing amiss to...”

  “There will be,” James said as he hung up from his call. “I regret the breach in protocol, but I have put Colin temporarily in charge of the Boston office until such time as we are able to relieve him personally.”

  Calibra looked ever so slightly miffed, her ego probably superseding the urgency she should have noticed in his voice. Or it could have just been about Colin. I’d have blanched, too, if someone told me they’d handed over my job to that shit-burger.

  She composed herself quickly, though, no doubt remembering that she was speaking to one of the Draculas. Their word was law. If they ordered you to jam a pogo stick up your ass and like it, you’d best start bouncing around with a smile on your face. “How bad is it?”

  “Unknown,” James replied, “but we can ill afford any disruption at this time. Our troops are mobilized around the globe. They are counting on us to provide them with guidance and intelligence. If one of our seats of power falters this early in the conflict, it could very well have a domino effect.”

  She nodded, finally getting the hint. “I’ll put our people on high alert.”

  “Already done.”

  “The strike teams?”

  “Taking up defensive positions.”

  “Strike teams?” I asked. “Where...”

  “Trust me, Dr. Death,” he said. “You have seen but the very tip of the iceberg of our operations up north. Believe me when I say our facilities house far more than just offices.”

  “What kind of chance do they have if this guy shows up?” Ed asked.

  Calibra visibly bristled, displeased as what amounted to a walking juice box voiced an opinion. “That is none of your concern, human.”

  I stepped up next to my friend. “Fine, what about me asking, then?”

  “I have placed the entire facility on high alert,” James replied. “They will be able to repulse a sizable force now that they are aware of the threat.”

  “But what about this other vamp?” Ed pressed. “You said it yourself - only someone really powerful could do what he did. Couldn’t he just compel them all to surrender and join him?”

  Calibra chuckled in response, as if my roommate had told a clever knock-knock joke. “Believe me, human, unlike the covens of this city, our facility is not staffed by children. They have been conditioned against all such contingencies.”

  “Conditioned?” Tom and I asked in unison.

  “Via compulsion,” Sally said. “Not unlike how thralls are made, if I’m not mistaken.”

  “As usual, my dear, you are quite insightful,” James replied fondly. “Yes. All of the staff at regional facilities are given several deep compulsions over time, subtly reinforcing their subconscious minds and creating a barrier of sorts.”

  “So you’re insulating them,” she replied. “Kind of like what you did to me with Jeff...”

  “Similar, but far more complex. A more powerful vampire can undo a simple compulsion under normal circumstances. There is simply no way to fully insulate another from that. What we can do, though, is provide protection against specific directives. Loyalty to their station and the First are continually compelled within them by multiple levels of management, each weaving their own strands of the thread. Where one rope may snap under pressure, a finely woven net will hold strong. Do you understand?”

  She nodded, as did me and Ed. Tom, unsurprisingly, had a blank look on his face. “So you...put a net in their heads?”

  “Yeah, everyone wears a psychic hairnet, Einstein,” I said, then turned back to James. “So everything is good, then?”

  “Perhaps. But the same cannot be said of the covens along the way. If he were to raise a sizable enough force...”

  “They’d be decimated by our tactical teams,” Calibra said smugly. “No offense intended, Wanderer, but Boston is equipped to repel an extended assault from the Grendel themselves, even if aided by up to a class six entity. I very much doubt...”

  “Grendel?” Tom asked.

  “Class six entity?” I echoed, voicing my own confusion.

  “The Feet,” Sally explained, at least answering my roommate’s question.

  “Yes, of course,” Calibra corrected herself. “The Feet.”

  “Regardless of our preparations, I believe it is time for us to return,” James stated. “The others of the First must be made aware of this.”

  I was tempted to ask about that class six thing again, but decided to let it drop for now. There was every reason to believe I’d probably learn what that was eventually - most likely because one would be trying to eat my face off. Besides, his mention of the First was the more pressing concern to me at the moment.

  “Do we really need to do that?” I asked. “I mean, if Boston can repulse this clown like a gnat, then there really isn’t a problem.” I left unsaid that I really preferred not to wake up tomorrow to find a pissed off Alex standing over me.<
br />
  The look James gave told me he wasn’t entirely unsympathetic to my cause. “This has escalated beyond your coven. Were times different, I might be persuaded to keep this matter as an internal affair. Now, though, any distraction could prove misfortunate to our cause. At minimum, the others must be briefed.”

  “At minimum?”

  “As a group, we shall decide the best course of action.”

  That wasn’t good. I really didn’t fancy learning what that course of action would be. I had a feeling it wouldn’t end in my favor.

  “You’re not going back, so stop worrying about that,” Tom said. “We won’t let it happen.”

  “Yep,” Ed added. “We’ll figure out...something.” By his tone, it was obvious he understood that promise was easier said than done, but I appreciated the solidarity, regardless.

  I looked toward Sally, expecting her to say something both insulting and supportive at the same time, but she just said, “I need to pack some things.”

  “Why?”

  She turned toward one of the other rooms. “I don’t know when I’m going to be back here again.”

  “You’re leaving now?”

  She stopped to stare condescendingly at me. “Yep.”

  “But...”

  “Oh, stop being so fucking dense, Bill. You are too.”

  “That will not be necessary,” Calibra said. “You would be best served staying here and...”

  “And what? Watching this city crumble around us? Going back to Vegas and defending a bunch of casinos against the fucking Jahabich, while the rest of the world goes to Hell?”

  The Jaha...? Oh well, one more thing in a long list of items I’d apparently missed. Whatever they were, it wasn’t important. Sally was trying to clue me in as to what was, and I think I understood the hint. “Want to go get our coven back?”

  She smiled in return. “I’d say it was a date, but you’d get the wrong idea.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  My roommates, bless their insane hearts, both agreed with that course of action, despite lacking any vested interest in my coven. Friends to the end, as far as they were concerned.

  Calibra had different plans, though.

  “Absolutely not. I will allow the Freewill to accompany us, as this involves him. I suppose his hanger-on,” she glanced sideways at Sally, “will follow regardless of what I say. But this affair is not for human eyes.”

  My friends opened their mouths to protest, but James held up a hand. “I am forced to concur. The situation is potentially volatile and I cannot guarantee your safety while...”

  “Wait,” Ed interrupted. “We’ve already established that I’m somehow not quite human.” Tom tried to comment, but Ed cut him off. “Say it and I’ll cock-punch you into next week.” Once he was sure Tom wasn’t going to reply with something asinine, he continued. “You don’t need to worry about anyone trying to snack on me. Not to mention, I really don’t want that asshole sneaking up behind me when I’m alone, just in case everyone here is wrong about Boston.”

  “He’s got a point, James,” I said. “Worst case is he just stands around being useless.”

  “Thanks, Bill.”

  “My pleasure.”

  “He can be bait,” Sally added.

  “What?”

  “You heard me. If this asshole is really after you, then there’s a chance we can use you to draw him out.”

  Ed raised an eyebrow, to which she replied with a saucy little smile. Sally was one of the few women I knew who considered flirting to be more fun when it was potentially lethal.

  To my surprise, Calibra agreed. “There is logic in your words. Very well...”

  Tom raised his hand to high five me.

  “This human may come with us.”

  Tom’s hand paused in midair. “What about me?”

  “Unless you have a similar purpose, then I expressly forbid it.”

  Tom turned to James, but there was no dissent to be found there.

  “I am truly sorry, but Boston is under the Prefect’s jurisdiction. I have already ignored enough protocol for one day. Her ruling stands.” As if to accentuate that the matter was closed, he turned away and pulled his phone out again.

  Sally walked out of the room, probably to grab whatever it was she wanted. I had little doubt, though, that it was also partially to escape the whining that was sure to follow.

  “Bill, you need...”

  “No,” I said, feeling like a complete dick. “Ed’s a part of this, but that thing doesn’t know about you.”

  “Not cool, man.”

  “I know, but it’s for the best. You have a girlfriend, a kid on the way. It’s a stupid risk. Besides, if anything happened to you...well, I sure as shit don’t want another coven of witches out for my blood.”

  Tom visibly deflated, but offered no argument against my words. I put a hand on his shoulder and smiled. “We need someone to guard the homestead. Can’t have any pterodactyls breaking in and stealing our shit, can we?”

  Tom didn’t look pleased, but he threw me back a small grin in return. “Says the twat-waffle who hasn’t paid rent in three months.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Ed and I walked Tom down to the front door and opened it just enough to see his ride waiting outside. We had called for car service and, amazingly, they had responded. The past day had been weird, but apparently not weird enough to make people risk giving up a paycheck. With the sun up, the chances of him getting home safely were hopefully better than they would be otherwise, even if he needed to take the long route.

  We said a few words, and I left off with the warning that if things got too freaky, he and Christy needed to get themselves gone. Thankfully, I wasn’t too worried about that part. Pregnant or not, having a girlfriend who could apparate basically anywhere she wanted to go was handy. I wouldn’t mind getting me one of those someday.

  That thought brought Sheila to mind. Rather than let myself get depressed about it, though, I took some comfort. I’d made a vow to do whatever I could to take her place against the coming darkness. Sure, my current course of action would sorta help the vampire cause, but I considered Chuck to be the greater evil - cutting a swath of destruction through the office and God knows what else. That fucker was a loose cannon, one that needed to be put down. After that, I could figure out how to keep the world from sliding even further into the pit of crap it currently dangled over.

  Our goodbyes exchanged, Ed and I closed the door behind us. James and Calibra waited in the living room in deep discussion - probably going over items of great importance to the vampire world that a low level doofus like me wouldn’t appreciate. After a few moments, Sally stepped out to join them, a large duffle bag in hand.

  “Let me guess: some trashy dresses, a thong, and a few pairs of six-inch heels that you can’t live without?”

  “A girl has to have her priorities,” she replied, reaching into the bag and withdrawing a massive handgun identical to the one she’d kept at the office. “You lost Mark, but fortunately for me, he has a twin brother.”

  “You named your gun Mark?”

  “Yep. Got a problem with that?”

  I was tempted to comment, but Ed spoke up first. “I don’t suppose you have something in there for me?”

  Sally grinned devilishly and looked to have a reply, but thankfully, James spared us any disturbing double entendres. “When we get to Boston, you may feel free to peruse our arsenal. I have little doubt you’ll find something there to your liking.”

  That seemed to mollify my roommate, although he did look a little crestfallen that he wouldn’t get to finish his game of flirtation pong. That gave me pause to wonder if Sally really understood what he could do. If not, then the next time she tried to give him a little love bite was gonna be a doozy.

  Such things could wait, though. As it looked like we were all ready to head out, I addressed the ranking vamps in the room. “I guess that’s it. I
hope your car has a big back seat and tinted windows.”

  James slyly smiled back. “I believe I can do one better.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes, although we shall need to journey to One Police Plaza first.”

  “Police escort?” Ed asked.

  “Something of the sort.”

  That was interesting, but not entirely surprising. The upper echelons of human authority knew of our existence. Certain wheels were kept well-greased, ensuring eyes were properly turned away from the worst of our activities. I had a feeling that whole deal would come crumbling down soon enough, but apparently things hadn’t yet escalated that far.

  “Sure they’re going to be able to spare anyone?” I asked. “I can still hear sirens out there. I wouldn’t be surprised if martial law was declared by tonight.”

  “Nor would I,” he replied. “Do not fret. They are merely providing us with the most efficient waypoint back - a means to an end.”

  Why didn’t that instill much confidence in me? It probably had to do with the fact that for vamps, the shortest distance between points A and B was often through whatever warm bodies stood in the way.

  There was also Sally to consider, currently carrying a gun big enough to set off metal detectors a block away.

  I was sure James had some plan, but I still couldn’t help but wonder how we were going to do this without reenacting a scene from The Matrix.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Another problem with our plan was the time of day. It was partly cloudy out, which meant enough sunshine to ensure things wouldn’t be easy on us vamps. We could take the tunnels most of the way, but there was a vast difference between surfacing in the basement of a coven property and doing so in a building full of armed cops - ones who were likely to be a bit on edge from the events of the past twenty-four hours.

  Thankfully, Sally kept the safe house stocked for nearly all contingencies - including trips outside. That meant hooded jackets and a couple of industrial-sized tubes of high SPF sunscreen.

  Ironically enough, this left most of us looking like exactly the sort who would get stopped right at the door of a police station.