The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “How so?”

  “Say I go with you and we manage to defeat this Destroyer. Then what?”

  “James can take over the Boston complex again and secure it against...”

  “Against your enemies,” she interrupted. “They’ll lock it up tight again so they can fight this war you told me about...so they can win it. And what happens when they do? Are they going to go back to hiding in the shadows? Can you honestly tell me they’re fighting this war so they can leave humanity alone?”

  I didn’t answer for several seconds. I saw where she was going and, deep down, knew she was right. Fighting for either the vamps or the Sasquatches meant only one thing: humanity was gonna get the short end of the stick. They might not go quietly and it might not be easy, but at the end of the day, I’d learned one thing from a lifetime of gaming and comic books - the beings with the superpowers usually won.

  Still, I had no intention of letting any of that happen. Stopping Alex and his mad quest for world domination was at the top of my to-do list. The problem was that Sheila hadn’t seen Vehron in action, but I had. That guy seriously needed to die. Otherwise, he was going to start resurrecting the dogma of his people, a bunch of psychos ridiculously called the Cult of Ib. I didn’t know a lot about them, but I’d been told they wanted nothing less than to see the world burn.

  “You don’t understand.” I held up a hand before she could speak, stopping myself short from placing a finger on her lips. That most certainly wouldn’t have helped my concentration. “I don’t want the vampires to win either. This guy, though, he’s not going to stop. He’s going to whittle away at both sides until...”

  “You’re not putting forth much of a convincing argument here.”

  “I know. What I’m trying to say is this guy scares the ever-living shit out of me. He’s bad news for everyone: vampires, humans, and whatever the hell else is out there.”

  “I still don’t...”

  “Including you. He’s already killed two Icons, and that’s only the tip of this fucker’s iceberg.”

  “Already?”

  “I told you, this guy is old. He was razing kingdoms to the ground before either of us were gleams in our great-great-great-grandfathers’ eyes.”

  “So you want me to fight...”

  “I want us to fight him. Night Spawn and Icon together. We won’t be alone either. We have Sally, Ed, Tom, and Christy.”

  “So...your roommates, a vampire fashion model, and a pregnant witch?”

  “Well, yeah, although Sally’s not really a fashion model, and I’m pretty sure Ed isn’t fully human anymore.”

  “Fine. The six of us against this one vampire.”

  “And all the vamps he’s bent to his will. And however many zombies he released onto the streets of Boston.”

  “Zombies?”

  “Yep.”

  “And how many is that?”

  “I...a few.”

  “A few?”

  “A lot, maybe.”

  “Well, you’re certainly ambitious, I’ll give you that.”

  “One needs to have hobbies.”

  “I’ll bet.”

  “So,” I asked, looking her in her silver eyes. “Are you in?”

  The pause between us grew longer by the second until it was almost painful. When at last she spoke, I’d already guessed what her answer would be. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I already told you. I’m not going to do anything to help the vampires, even inadvertently. From what you’ve told me, this guy has introduced a measure of chaos. As far as I can see, that might be a good thing. Let the vampires fight amongst themselves while trying to defend against their enemies...”

  “Bigfoot.”

  “Of course. Regardless, all of this will give humanity time - time to adapt and defend itself. It’ll give me time too.”

  “But if we take them out now...”

  “And what if we fail? Don’t you think I’ve thought of doing something like this, thought about striking at the heart of the vampire nation and ramming my fist through it?”

  “It’s in...”

  “Switzerland. I heard you.” She stood up, and I could tell by her stance that she was resolute in her decision. Fuck! “I’m supposed to be humanity’s last defender. That means I protect people where I can and, if necessary, fight with my back against the wall. It’s hard to explain, but that feels right to me. I don’t put much stock in my supposed fate, but I know my gut, and it’s telling me that I’m not supposed to go on the offensive. If I do that, I don’t think things are going to work out.”

  “Listen, I know you’re afraid. I am too.”

  “But I’m not. I’m cautious, wary, maybe even a little paranoid these days, but the one thing I’m not is afraid.”

  “Must be nice.”

  “No, it isn’t. Because even though I’m not afraid for me, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel it for everyone else. I have to trust in my instincts here.”

  “But the prophecy states...”

  “That me and this guy are going to duke it out in the end? If that’s my destiny, then I accept that, but it will come at a time when the world needs me most - not when I decide to charge in like some half-baked General Custer.”

  I stood, sensing I wasn’t going to change her mind. “When you’re ready for your Little Big Horn, just remember you’ll have some lieutenants backing you up.”

  “The battle is supposed to be...”

  “Bullshit,” I said, refusing to lower my gaze this time. “The prophecies say you’re supposed to fight him. They don’t say anything about not having backup or that it needs to be a fair fight. I checked on that much.”

  “If you say so,” she replied with a sad smile.

  I nodded knowingly, took a quick glance at Robert, and then said the words I thought I’d never purposely utter in her presence. “I should probably get going.”

  “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself. There’re some weird things going on.”

  “The world can’t get rid of me that easily.”

  “I should think not,” she replied with a sly smile that made my dead heart roll over in its grave.

  I turned toward the door, my eyes drifting once more toward Robert, who was still out cold on the floor. He had no idea how lucky he was. “Keep an eye out should you head over to Brighton. I hear there’s a coven there.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  As I reached the exit, I turned back toward her. My tongue wasn’t quite ready to let out those words I wanted to say without making me sound like an idiot, but maybe I could get close.

  “Be safe. You might be humanity’s last defender, but you’re not invincible. Neither of us are and I...I can’t watch you die again.”

  To my amazement, she broke into a wide grin.

  “It’ll be okay, Bill. You just need to have a little faith.”

  Beam me up, Scotty

  I might have been brokenhearted and rejected, but at least I didn’t have to walk far. Originally, I’d asked Ed if I could borrow his car...or at least the rental he was using while his new car was being repaired. But he’d dissuaded me from that course of action with a very gentle, “Go fuck yourself!”

  Thankfully, another of our ensemble had offered a slightly more direct method of conveyance.

  I strolled to the end of Sheila’s street and turned at the corner. A hundred yards down, a figure sat on a bench at a bus stop. She was pretending to read a book - probably on baby names - by the light of the nearby street lamps. Well, okay; maybe only partially pretending to read.

  Who’d have thought that things could change so quickly? Less than six months ago, the sight of Christy would have caused me to hightail it in the opposite direction, then call up Tom and bitch him out for dating a witch with a death wish for me. Now, she and I were quite cool with each other - cool enough that she was able to take me at my word th
at Sheila had no intention of hurting her, her kind, or especially her unborn child.

  I mean, yeah, she had certainly freaked out a bit when my roommates and I sat her down to tell her the Icon was alive and well. Sally had stood there smugly, latte in hand, as Christy’s magic flared up, and Ed, Tom, and I dove for cover. In the end, though, she had calmed down and accepted it - well, after bitching Ed out for about an hour for keeping that knowledge from the rest of us. I took immense enjoyment at seeing someone else on the receiving end for a change. Hey, I never claimed not to be petty.

  I’d told her how Sheila had made me promise to put her down should she ever start walking down the path of the Magi prophecy - the one that claimed the Icon would be the end of them all. That had seemed to settle her down, along with the fact that upon their first meeting, they had hit it off pretty well.

  Christy’s only caveat to this revelation was that her new coven not be told of this, at least until such time as it was painfully obvious. I could understand that. The last time mage and vampire alike had suspected the Icon had arisen, they had banded together in a joint hunting party of disastrous proportions.

  After we’d gotten a reasonably good idea of where Sheila might be living, it had been Christy’s idea to act as my backup on this mission. I wasn’t overly pleased at the prospect of dragging her into things with me, since she was becoming increasingly heavy with child, but she was quick to point out the minimal danger of this operation.

  “How many monsters do you think will be actively crawling around the Icon’s home? If that were the case, the entire supernatural world would know by now. Since they don’t, it’s a safe bet that she’s either really good at hiding or even better at making sure nothing gets out alive to spread the word.”

  It was hard to argue with that.

  I approached openly and she waved when she saw me. While a part of me wanted to be stealthy - one could never be entirely sure who or what was watching - common sense dictated I not sneak up and risk a lightning bolt to the face. I sat down next to her on the bench. “Hey.”

  “Hey yourself.” She put down the book.

  “Any good ideas?”

  “A few.”

  “I hear Bill is an awesomely studly name for babies these days.”

  “Not if it’s a girl,” she countered. I was tempted to point out former Doctor Who companion Billie Piper as an excellent example, but she continued, “And if it’s a boy, I’m already leaning toward Harry.”

  “Ugh.”

  “I know you two had differences.”

  I turned and raised an eyebrow.

  “Okay, some pretty major differences, but he was good to me up until he became obsessed. I prefer to remember and honor him for the father figure he was.”

  I wasn’t in the mood to argue. “Whatever floats your boat. What’s Tom’s take on this?”

  Her sigh relayed everything.

  “Oh, come on. Starscream or Mumm-Ra might be perfectly serviceable middle names.”

  “Remind me not to invite either of you to the baby shower.” She laughed, but then her expression turned serious. “How’d it go?”

  “She said to say hi.”

  “You told her I was here?”

  “No. It was just a general thing. Her passing on her regards.”

  “Good. She’s going to be paranoid enough knowing one person can find her. If she thought another vampire and witch raiding party was on its way...” She trailed off, closing her eyes for a moment. The whole incident had been painful for her too. Both her master and the entirety of her old coven had been wiped out during it. “Oh well, I didn’t really want to be invited in for tea anyway.”

  “You’d have liked the place; could have met her new boyfriend.”

  “Boyfriend? Oh, I’m so sorry, Bill.”

  “It’s no big deal,” I lied. “I mean, she’s young and insanely attractive. I couldn’t expect her to wait for me.”

  “Especially since she doesn’t know she’s waiting for you?” Christy teased.

  “Don’t start.”

  “What’s he like?”

  “Seemed like a decent enough fellow - nice and normal. An accountant, if you can believe it. You don’t get any more banal than that. Pity he can’t rise to the challenge.”

  “Rise?”

  “Bump uglies, dance the horizontal mambo, make the beast with two backs.” I looked at her and flashed my fangs. “Gotta love compulsions.”

  She sat bolt upright. “You didn’t!”

  “I might’ve.”

  “By the White Mother, that’s just wrong.” Her tone, however, indicated she didn’t find this in the least bit surprising. Her time with Tom had well prepared her for such petty things by immature males. “How long is it going to last?”

  I shrugged. “Could be a day, a week, or whenever. Don’t know and really don’t care.”

  “Some days, I’m so glad you’re on our side. So what about her? Is she going to join us?”

  “No,” I replied bluntly. There wasn’t any point in beating around the bush.

  “Did she say...?” She paused and held up her hands. A bandage was wrapped around one of them. “Just give me a moment.” A deep purplish glow flashed around her, then just as quickly subsided. “Anyway...”

  “Hold on. What was that?”

  “Oh, don’t worry about it. While you were in there, I set up warding glyphs at the four corners of this block.”

  “You don’t say.”

  “Relax. It sets up a magical line in the sand of sorts - tingles in the back of my head if anything crosses it.”

  “So right now?”

  “It was just a cat.”

  “By the way, what did you do to your hand?”

  “Nothing serious. I cut it setting up the glyphs,” she replied dismissively. “So did she say why?”

  I relayed to her my discussion with Sheila, including her reasons for turning down my offer to go asshole-hunting.

  When I finally finished, I expected Christy to share a similar sentiment with me that this was anything but...

  “Good,” she said.

  “What?!”

  “Not good that she’s not going to help, but her choices are all for the right reasons. I think she’s correct. The role of the Icon is to defend, not attack.”

  “Bullshit. All the Icons I’ve heard about: Achilles, Beowulf, Samson, Joan of...”

  “All of them met with bad ends, most of which were the result of their own arrogance, if the stories are to be believed.”

  I thought about that for a moment. She had a point. Many of the heroes of old that we celebrated in myth, legend, and the occasional movie starring Brad Pitt - they made for an awesome adventure tale. In the end, however, they all died young, often in very violent scenarios. Even so... “I haven’t heard of any Icons who did otherwise.”

  “I have,” she replied. “Harry insisted I study the past - the real past - very carefully.” She didn’t need to elaborate much on that. History was written by the victors and then whitewashed by the victors’ descendants. Magic and monsters had been neatly removed from the official histories. In the few places where they remained, they were assumed to be myth or allegory. “There were many Icons who stood tireless watch as defenders of kingdoms. You just don’t know about them because...”

  “Because they don’t make for a good story?”

  “Exactly. What would you rather read about - a stalwart defender who held the line and eventually died in his sleep at the age of ninety-nine or a manly action hero who went out in a blaze of glory?”

  “You do have a point.”

  “I don’t know exactly how the vampiric prophecy is worded, but I’m familiar with some versions of it. From what I know, the battle between the Icon and Freewill isn’t supposed to be like some cheesy wrestling match.”

  “A pity. Throw some Jell-O into the mix and...”

  “I’m serious. Both sides a
ren’t supposed to come at each other in some macho, mano-y-mano slugfest. If I were to make my best guess, the Freewill is the aggressor with the Icon only taking the battlefield after all of humanity’s other hope is lost. That she’s taking this stand fills me with hope for her. She’s not going out there headhunting to collect trophies. She’s not doing this to get her name in the paper. She’s doing this because she has to.”

  I may not be the most empathetic guy on the planet, but I sensed a bit of desperate hope in her words. I couldn’t help but notice her hands went to her stomach as she spoke. It wasn’t surprising. An Icon who was a conquering hero was bad news for her kind. An Icon just trying to stem the tide and save as many people as she could, well, that type of hero was far less likely to be in the market for baby-killing.

  I put a hand on her shoulder, as comforting a move as a guy like me knew how to make. I was more used to confronting the impending darkness with some pithy comments. Stuff like this was out of my league. If she started crying now, I would have no choice but to panic.

  We sat like that for a moment, both of us no doubt wondering how we could possibly stave off the cruel destinies fate seemed to have in store for us all.

  Finally, I broke the silence. “Fine, Sheila’s out. If this is the part she’s going to play, I won’t try to dissuade her from it.” I left out that any such talking would likely include me mumbling like an idiot, all the while trying not to stare at her all doe-eyed. It really ruined the cool image of us as a badass supernatural couple.

  Oh well, at least I had the memory of her in that towel to keep me going for a while as I charged headfirst into horrific danger - and that’s certainly what I still aimed to do. Facing Vehron without her by my side was a prospect that was near pants-shittingly terrifying. Even so, it needed to be done. I’d released that genie from its bottle and, knowing how the vampire nation had reacted to such slights in the past, I had every reason to believe it was going to be up to me to put him back - preferably in as many little pieces as I could muster.

  “It’s gonna be tough without her,” I said at last. “But the plan hasn’t changed. We still need to find a way to take that asshole down. Let’s get back to New York. Maybe between Sally and me...”