The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “Thanks, but I can’t help but hear the but in your voice.”

  She once more turned away and this time didn’t stop. “You’re the last Freewill again, and I think we both know how that’s supposed to end between us.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Sheila’s little pep talk certainly hadn’t done any wonders for my morale as I entered the ruined chamber where, during better days, James had once held court. Ah, fate. It seemed no matter what I did, it just didn’t want to leave me be.

  A conversation from up ahead caught my ear, and I gladly turned my attention toward the participants. Christy wasn’t resting like she should have been, but at least she wasn’t doing any heavy lifting. She was sitting on a boulder holding Tom, while Sally shoved aside some debris.

  “So how come nobody told me my sister was a vampire?” Tom asked as I approached.

  “We didn’t want to worry you,” Christy replied.

  “Oh sure, because that’s no big fucking deal. When the hell did this happen anyway?”

  “Remember when I took that trip to Vegas?”

  “You said that was just business.”

  “It was,” Sally added, “and maybe a little gambling too.”

  “With my sister as the all-you-can-eat buffet?”

  “Yeah, sorry about that. If it helps, though, she’s doing pretty well.”

  “My parents are going to fucking flip when they hear this!”

  “Oh?” Sally asked, turning over a slab of broken rock. “And they’re not gonna freak when they find out you’re a GI Joe doll?”

  “For starters, I’m an action figure. Secondly, do I look like General Hawk to y...?”

  “How’s it going?” I interrupted, walking up to them.

  “Pretty pointless so far,” Sally replied.

  “I was hoping to find some notes in her office,” Christy said, “but there’s nothing left – at least nothing that hasn’t been burnt beyond recognition.”

  “If we had scared her off, maybe,” I said. “Unfortunately, she had time to cover her tracks.”

  Sally stood up and wiped her hands on the seat of her pants. “Yeah, and if she’s been hiding right under the Draculas’ noses for all this time, then that means she’s become damn good at covering them.”

  “So that means all we have to go on is the Jahabich’s lair.”

  “Which, if you recall,” Sally said, “we sort of blew up the entrance to.”

  “There were other tunnels leading out from it.”

  “Oh yeah. Those should be a breeze to find. We’ll just spelunk down every cave on Earth until we find the right one. I somehow think Alex is gonna expect just a bit more of a detailed plan than that.”

  “Probably,” I conceded. “Too bad I can’t sniff out Gan like she seems to be able to do to me.”

  “Would you really want to?” Christy asked.

  “Not really,” I joked, but there wasn’t a lot behind it. The truth was Gan had helped us out big time. We ... I owed her. It was a debt I didn’t take lightly, even if I had no intention of repaying her in the way I knew she wanted.

  I looked around with a heavy sigh. We were just spinning our wheels in this place. “Oh well, if there’s nothing else here, let’s bug out. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I really don’t want to use this place as our temporary HQ.”

  Sally nodded. “I think it’s safe to say that Alex can probably find us no matter where we are. Let’s just make sure wherever that is, it has a shower and hot water.”

  “Amen.” I helped Christy down and we turned toward the exit.

  ...ease me.

  I stopped in my tracks. “Did you hear that?”

  Whatever it was, it had been faint, barely audible. Maybe sound carrying through the pipes from another part of the complex.

  e ... had a ar ... gain.

  No, I was wrong. It hadn’t been barely audible to my ears, but in my mind. One glance at Christy confirmed she’d heard it too.

  “No way.”

  “That’s Harry,” Christy declared, turning back. “We need to find him.”

  “Do we really?” Sally asked. Christy fixed her with a glare, and she held up her hands in mock surrender. “Relax. I’m just kidding.”

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  It was the work of two more hours. Decker kept calling during the entire time – all of it faint and hard to understand. Unfortunately, unlike a person trapped under rubble, it was really hard to home in on a psychic cry for help. Thus, it was all trial and error, with a lot of digging on my and Sally’s part.

  By the time we shoved aside a heavy pile of rocks and caught a glimpse of skull – dirty and almost imperceptible from the debris around it – we were covered in grime.

  A sickly purple glow, just barely visible beneath a layer of dust, though, told us we’d hit pay dirt. I reached down and lifted him out.

  “Ugh. He’s seen better days.”

  Indeed he had, and that was saying something. His lower jaw was missing, and there was a wide crack across the side of his skull from which that purplish light appeared to be leaking out of.

  Christy snatched it out of my hands without any preamble.

  My child, you came for me, it weakly said.

  “What’s wrong with it?” Sally asked.

  “The binding is starting to wear off,” Christy replied. “I need to fortify it.”

  “Um, is that safe?”

  “Not really, but most of the strain is in creating the link. I should only need a little bit of power to strengthen the tether.”

  Before we could stop her, she placed a hand on either side of the broken skull and started muttering words.

  “Don’t do anything stupid,” Tom said, having been propped up where Christy had been sitting.

  “Hush,” she snapped. “I’m concentrating.”

  A few moments went by and Christy’s hands began to glow. Whatever she was doing was seemingly absorbed into the former desk toy – like water flowing down a drain. It all lasted less than a minute, but when she was done, the glow of power from Decker’s noggin appeared to be back to normal.

  Christy, however, needed to sit down again. Though her body was exhausted, when she spoke, her tone was iron. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t leave you down here to rot.”

  I raised you. I...

  “Cut the shit, Harry,” she snapped. “I heard you laughing as she held you.”

  As you wish. Think of the honor – to meet the one you have spent your whole life revering. To have a chance to speak with her, to listen to her wisdom. It was marvelous. All I could ever hope for and more.

  “Yeah, I’m sure it was an emotional asshole to asshole chat,” I said.

  A fool such as you could not hope to appreciate the glory of Kala the White.

  Christy rapped the top of the skull with her knuckles. “Back to the point, Harry. Like I said, tell me why I shouldn’t leave you, and you’d better make it good.”

  The light inside Decker’s skull pulsed. I knew I shouldn’t attribute human emotions to the equivalent of a sentient lava lamp, but I could have sworn he was thinking it over.

  “I’m waiting.”

  I will admit I was led astray. Her grandiose plans were hard to deny.

  “Not really convincing me.”

  She was to take me with her, show me the glorious works she had performed. To be able to assist her in even the most base incantation would have been glorious.

  “I assume there’s a point here,” Sally said.

  But then the Freewill goaded her to battle...

  “What?! No I didn’t.”

  “Shhh. Let him finish,” Christy said.

  The White Mother, she dropped me. I assumed she would come back. I cried out to her, begging her to do so, to take me – her loyal devotee – with her.

  “But instead, she abandoned you like a rat from a ship,” I surmised.

  Betrayed!<
br />
  “This is pointless,” Christy said, pushing herself up again. “Sally, find me a nice spot to bury him, please.”

  I know where’s she’s going, he quickly added.

  “So do we,” I said.

  In the basest sense, fool. But do you know how to get there?

  “Be nice, Harry,” Christy warned. “I’m this close to picking up a shovel and making sure nobody finds you again.”

  The flow of false life. I know what it is! He sounded kinda desperate now. Guess he knew she wasn’t fucking around.

  “I’m listening.”

  It is from whence they come, the Jahabich.

  Sally and I shared a glance. “This wouldn’t happen to be a glowing pool of orange monster jizz, would it?”

  “Hey, I got splashed with that shit,” Tom protested.

  You have no idea what it is! But I do.

  “Go on,” Christy said.

  You alone among this rabble can appreciate what I am about to tell you. It is The Source.

  “Impossible,” she said.

  “Wait, what?” I asked.

  All of the remaining ley lines on the planet, they draw from it. It is the last of its kind. It is the well from which all magic flows into this world. It is the last gateway to the realm of spirits.

  “Okay, that sounds pretty heavy,” I said. “What does that have to do with Ed?”

  The pure one? I don’t know.

  Sally picked up a fist-sized rock, which she began to toss back and forth. “If you’re holding out on us...”

  I swear, I don’t. But I do know it can be used to imbue life.

  “Those things aren’t life!” Christy snapped. “They’re abominations. They’re...”

  I am not talking about them. They are a perversion of the flow’s true power. I am talking about true life. It can be used to restore your lover.

  “Whoa,” Tom said. “That’s kinda cool.”

  I glanced at Christy and saw that her eyes were misting over at the thought of it. “Be careful,” I warned. “He might just be saying what he wants you to hear.”

  That is not all, Decker continued, The spell, the one from the cave wall. I have been studying it, divining its meaning. It created the Jahabich and is the key to stopping them.

  “We kind of figured that. But how?”

  The spell is incomplete, but I believe it can also be used to close the doorway to seal The Source. If done, those creatures will never darken your lives again. They...

  Decker went silent as Christy touched the top of his skull with her fingers, producing a yellow flash.

  “Wait. He wasn’t finished.”

  “I’ve heard enough,” she said, rising.

  “Was he telling the truth?” I asked dubiously.

  “I’m not sure. Maybe.”

  “So what do you think?” Sally asked.

  Christy turned to face us. Though I could tell her body was weary beyond belief, the strain of the past few days lining her face, her eyes shone brilliantly, alight as if with some internal flame. Whoa, talk about a chick with crazy eyes.

  “You heard him. If what he says is true about the pool...”

  “I don’t know what the fuck Sally and I saw down there, but it was definitely big and powerful.”

  Christy nodded. “It would have to be. Harry mentioned closing the door. He was just talking about the Jahabich. But, if he was right, if it is as powerful as we think, then maybe we can do more than that. Maybe we can stop it.”

  “Stop what?”

  “Everything,” she said. “Think about it. What happens if we manage to kill Kala?”

  “We earn our impossible odds survival badges?”

  Sally slugged me in the arm. “The war continues. The vamps and the Feet will keep battling it out until civilization is ground into paste.”

  “True,” I said, forcing myself to be serious, “but there’s more. If we team up with Alex and win, then he’ll potentially end up with a piece of prime real estate at the center of the Earth, complete with its own built-in hot tub. Probably safe to assume he won’t be happy just using it as a vacation home.”

  “That can’t be allowed,” Christy replied. “But either way, Sally is right. Kala the White needs to be stopped. There is no question in any part of my soul about that, but ending her evil won’t fix anything else. We need to do more.”

  I began to see what she was getting at. “It might help if a certain party were to, perhaps, meet a gruesome end along with her.”

  “Alex,” Sally said bitterly.

  “Yep. He’s the one who wanted this war, the one who’s been forcing the others to keep it going, and the one who will probably fuck us over if we somehow gain the upper hand down below. As long as he’s alive, he won’t stop until he gets what he wants.”

  “What about the rest of your leaders?” Christy asked.

  “I got the impression they were pretty happy with the status quo before things went to hell. No way to tell for sure, but I think if Alex were out of the picture, we might have a shot of pulling things back from the edge.”

  “Hopefully,” Sally said. “We’ll have to cross that bridge when we come to it. For now, let’s worry about killing two assholes with one stone. Oh, make that three. No way does Firebird walk away from this.”

  I wasn’t about to argue with that. I turned back to Christy. “So what do we need to do?”

  She smiled grimly. “Surviving will be difficult enough. The White Mother’s power is immense. I don’t think I need to tell that to either of you.”

  “Hadn’t noticed,” I joked.

  “If we make it through, though, remember what I said. Magic is just energy. Introduce the right catalyst to an energy source and you can use it. That’s what I’m hoping to do. Of course, introduce the wrong thing and...”

  “Kaboom?”

  “Exactly.”

  “How big of a boom are we talking about?” I asked, just for argument’s sake.

  “I honestly don’t know. We’re talking about perhaps the most potent source of that power anywhere. I have no reference to base anything on.”

  “Take a guess.”

  “If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to tap into it to create a localized disturbance.”

  “And if you’re not?”

  “It could collapse the entire cave system, maybe worse.”

  “Worse?”

  Christy merely shrugged.

  “Um yeah. But if that happens...” I glanced down at her pregnant stomach.

  She looked down at herself for a moment, but when she raised her head again, her eyes were hard. “If events continue the way they are, this world may not be worth living in for any of us, my baby included.”

  “Harsh,” Tom commented.

  “Seriously, we’ve seen what’s happening,” she said. “Things are getting worse, not better. We need to end this. Gods forgive me, but it’s worth the risk.”

  “What are our chances?” I asked.

  Christy spread her hands wide, indicating she had no idea what to expect.

  I turned to Sally. “What do you think?”

  She fixed me with a glare. “What do I think? I think this is insane and you’re even crazier for asking me. In fact, I think you are the single most infuriating person I have ever met. You break all the rules, fuck up everything you touch, and drive me batshit constantly.”

  Okay, then.

  “Be that as it may, though,” she continued, “I know I would face the fires of Hell if you were by my side.”

  “Which it seems is what we’re planning on doing,” Tom interjected.

  “Thanks for ruining the moment, meatwad.” She knocked him over with a flick of her finger.

  “I’d do the same,” I said, ignoring my roommate.

  “Of course you would,” she replied with an infuriatingly cocky smile.

  “Partners?”

  Sally held out her hand to me.
“To the end.”

  “To the end,” I repeated, taking it.

  “Hey, if you guys are doing the whole hands in the middle thing, count me in.”

  Christy laughed and picked up her plastic fiancé. She lifted one of his hands to ours, and then topped us off with her own.

  For too long, fate had manipulated us, set us up as pawns in some giant chess game. Whether it was Alex, Turd, Vehron, or now Calibra, there was always someone trying to manipulate us.

  Well, maybe now it was finally our turn.

  I had no idea what the coming days would hold. There were plans to make, strategies to discuss, and probably a few personal issues to sort out. Regardless, in the end, I’d do everything I could to protect the friends around me, restore the friend who’d fallen, and save the friends who were missing.

  And then, when that was done, I’d shove a giant middle finger at the powers that be and let all Hell break loose.

  As for what happened after ... screw it. Maybe just this once, I’d let fate decide that.

  THE END

  THE LAST COVEN

  The Tome of Bill

  Part 8

  Part 1

  Giving To Those in Need

  With The Destroyer dead, I thought things would get better. I was wrong and, judging by the current hail of gunfire, on multiple fronts, too.

  “Jeez. How many fucking bullets do these assholes have anyway?”

  “They’re not assholes,” Sheila chided, crouched behind the barrier with me despite being impervious. “They’re just scared.”

  “Can we maybe meet halfway and agree that they’re scared assholes?”

  Had her return gaze been weaponized, it would have easily cut me to pieces.

  I probably deserved it, too.

  After everything we’d been through, I was still keeping secrets from her. I kept telling myself they weren’t my secrets to tell, but that didn’t make me feel much better about it.

  Still, I’d hoped that after some food, maybe a shower, and definitely some sleep, everything would...

  Hah! Would what? Get back to normal?

  Normal was about as far from my reality as it could get these days. Hell, there was a good possibility what I used to consider “normal” would never grace my doorstep again.