The Tome of Bill Series: Books 5-8 (Goddamned Freaky Monsters, Half A Prayer, The Wicked Dead, The Last Coven)

by Rick Gualtieri

  “What the fuck is a catalyst Magi?”

  She ignored me. “Your friend, the pure one, thinks he possesses this gift, but I do not believe he does. I believe he is simply different, much as we are from humans. I seek to learn, to understand that difference, to overcome it, and once I do, I will build my new following, one that is not harmed by the sun or the petty beliefs of either humans or Icons.”

  “Yet one you can control,” Sally said.

  “Your friend sees far more clearly than you do,” Calibra said, indicating Sally with the barest nod of her head. “Control is key.”

  “I thought the...” I held up my fingers in quotes. “Glory of Ib was all about choice, freedom to be the hellions God intended us to be.”

  Calibra let out a laugh, loud but somehow cynical. “Once perhaps, but not now. That is a harsh lesson my own children taught me when they usurped my power and erased my name from the very history I created.”

  Sadly, if I was hoping to be shown that part of the past, I was in for disappointment. I guess that was the bonus gag reel that came with the deluxe Blu-ray edition.

  “First I will crack the code, reintroduce compulsion to the new breed as it was meant to be. But before I ascend and undertake the change myself, I will make sure that what makes you special is overcome, so that never again will a Freewill rise to challenge its betters.” She cocked her head and looked thoughtful for a moment. “In a way, I should thank Alexander for his dogma. For so long, I hid among his ranks, hating him, biding my time, but eventually I came to see his point of view.” She looked past me at the sea of Jahabich standing guard. “Chaos can win the world, but it cannot hold it. There must be order.”

  “If you admire the guy so much, maybe you should marry him.” Yeah, it was lame, but it was all I had.

  “Alexander will not share power. Though his ideals regarding the First Coven are not entirely misguided – I know that now – he will not be the one to lead this new race into the sunlight. That honor is reserved for me and me alone.”

  “What a surprise.”

  “And once I wrest control, I will have you to thank for at least a portion of that victory.”

  What? Okay, now that really was a surprise. “Not following.”

  “My new children, I know you’ve seen them.”

  “You mean the Jahabich 2.0?”

  “An interesting way to refer to them, but in a sense correct,” she replied.

  “And you’re thanking Bill for that?” Sally asked.

  “Once I saw the signs of war, that destiny was at hand, I released my children from their eternal prison to once again sow discord. Alas, it soon became obvious their gift for infiltration, once their greatest asset, was no longer what it once was.”

  “Yeah, I’m sure the invention of toothpaste went a long way toward that.”

  Thankfully, she ignored my smartass remark for the moment. “With The Source once again at my command, it was within my power. Sadly, their ability to blend in seamlessly comes at a price.”

  “Greater individuality,” I said.

  “Indeed. My plan had been to introduce them among the First’s number, gradually surround Alexander with those under my control, and whittle down those truly loyal to him until an easy victory was assured. When in their original forms, however, enough of their old selves remains that such a tactic would have eventually been found out. It was doomed to failure.” She pointed a finger my way. “But thanks to your words, spreading like a cancer through their ranks until they reached the ears of Alexander himself, I achieved all that I hoped for with barely any effort at all.”

  My words? Oh wait. Yeah, I’d been the one to tell Colin about the upgraded Jahabich. In retrospect, perhaps not my best decision.

  “Thousands of those loyal to the First, forces that could have given me grief once it was time to strike, now lie as dust. Between my Magi, my children, and the new breed that shall soon rise, I will strike the face of this world like a monsoon, washing away all who would stand against me.”

  Sally turned and clapped me on the shoulder. “Good job as usual, Bill.”

  I ignored her as I tried to process everything.

  There was an underlying madness to Calibra’s pontification, but all the same, it seemed that once upon a time she’d had nothing but the best of intentions ... albeit perhaps not where the Feet were concerned. Still, she hadn’t set out to become a world conqueror. It was more a case of falling into the job.

  I’ll be the first to admit, I’m a sucker for a sob story, thus I actually found my overall dislike of her slipping, even if her plans involved destroying the one thing about my powers that made being a vampire not suck.

  In short, I fell for the benevolent God act. It was a stupid mistake on my part.

  I didn’t have the experience that some did, but I liked to think I wasn’t a complete fucking idiot. Yet at the same time, her tale caused me to momentarily forget that the most nefarious despots in history were capable of appearing benevolent in public. Behind closed doors, though, things were often far different ... as I was about to be reminded.

  Calibra led us inside her fortress, away from the eyes of the adoring masses gathered outside. There must have been some sort of magical barrier erected, because one moment there was nothing more than the background noises of the cavern and the creatures within it.

  One step, however, changed that all, because that was the difference between silence and screaming.

  The House of Pain

  “What the fuck?!”

  “Oh that?” Calibra asked, her voice magically projected above the cries of pain. “Alas, there are some things that are best dealt with in private.”

  Another shriek sounded, too incoherent to understand, but the pitch, it almost sounded like...”

  Sally stepped forward. “What have you done to...?”

  Calibra was so fast I didn’t even see her hand move. I simply heard the crack of bone and then Sally fell to the floor, her head rotated almost a hundred and eighty degrees. It was like how Vehron had killed Tom. The effect was instantly sobering for me. My breath caught in my throat and for a moment, I found myself unable to do anything save stare at what she’d done.

  “That is for speaking out of turn,” Calibra said.

  I dropped to my knees at Sally’s side and almost cried out in relief when her eyes turned and focused on me. What was fatal for a human wasn’t so much for a vampire. Thank God!

  Calibra looked down upon us with barely concealed contempt. “Prepare her. She will be the next test subject after the vivisection is completed.”

  Her words barely registered with me, nor did the figures approaching from an adjoining hallway – vampires, from their scent, not that it mattered. There was only one person in this place I was focused on at the moment.

  I launched myself with reckless abandon, but Calibra caught me by the throat with ease. “You can’t be serious.” Her tone bordered on boredom.

  The thing was, I’d been expecting it, hoping for it actually.

  Her hand around my throat, squeezing so hard I could feel my own vertebrae creaking beneath her fingers, but all it did was serve to help my cause.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Learning what I was – that the thing inside me wasn’t me, but some alien entity pulled into my body after I’d been bitten – had been shocking to hear. At the same time, there had been a comforting element to knowing I hadn’t gone crazy. Two souls merging – it explained a lot about vampire nature, how a relatively normal person could be bitten and then immediately turn into a bloodthirsty asshole.

  My circumstance as a Freewill was different, though. Somehow, that spirit was trapped inside of me, yet still separate. All this time, I’d thought I’d been suffering from some bizarre split personality, but it had been this creature fighting me for control. Maybe that was how I became so strong when it took over. Calibra had mentioned the transfer was traumatic on a spiritual level, le
aving both souls weakened.

  But what if that wasn’t the case with me?

  What if, by Dr. Death remaining a separate entity in my head, that meant he’d been pulled into my body whole, as it were, allowing him access to his full potential? Whenever he took over, my personality was pushed to the back. By doing so, that also allowed him to tap into the monstrous power he naturally possessed.

  The thing was, we weren’t as separate as either of us wanted to believe. Whenever he’d been in charge, I was still there ... subtly influencing things, keeping my friends safe. The opposite was true as well, him whispering nasty ideas in my ear when I was in the driver’s seat.

  That had all changed, however, when I tried to blow myself up to take out Vehron. I woke up with Dr. Death’s power, but I was still running the show. We’d been battling for control up until that point, but only now did I realize the war was over. In that moment, I’d won. I’d become the dominant soul.

  Dr. Death was capable of a lot, but apparently not self-sacrifice. By doing so, I’d inadvertently played a winning hand. He’d been forced to irrevocably hand over the reins so as to save his own ass.

  That was why he’d been quiet since then. He wasn’t asleep or sulking. He and I were now one being, with me in charge. As for the anger I’d been feeling, that was his residual influence, all he was now capable of. It was something I’d have to learn to live with, to control ... but maybe not right now.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  All of this passed through my mind in the space of the time it took Calibra’s hand to clamp down upon my neck. I ignored her, though, focused on Sally, lying there paralyzed, helpless to do anything ... except maybe roll her eyes.

  She was my friend, my partner, perhaps more. I loved her and she’d been laid low by this prehistoric bitch as if she were nothing.

  Now that I knew the truth, I no longer feared Dr. Death taking over. I no longer feared the anger welling up inside of me. I no longer feared being the Freewill of legend.

  A red haze descended over my vision and I felt the sleeves of my shirt begin to grow tighter. Calibra was paying attention to the two vamps she’d summoned, busy scooping Sally up to take her God knows where.

  I compressed my right hand into a hammer of a fist, hearing the knuckles crack. There was no time to wait. Distracted as she was, it was hard to miss someone putting on six inches in height and a hundred pounds of muscle.

  Now to only hope this worked.

  Oh well, there was only one way to find out.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  Calibra either didn’t see it coming or judged me no threat. Either way, my fist connected solidly with her face. Her nose crunched satisfyingly under the blow and, for a split second, I was able to enjoy the look of her eyes widening in surprise. Then she was airborne, sent crashing through the far wall.

  Booyah!

  The two vamps who’d been in the process of dragging Sally out didn’t stand a chance. I tore through them before they could mount a defense, leaving me covered in their dust.

  When I looked down at myself again, the change was complete. My clothes were an absolute mess – note to self, invest in Spandex – but I was definitely not. Sadly, this was not the time to stand there gawking at my awesome biceps.

  I bent down to help Sally. “Sorry, this might hurt a bit.” My voice came out sounding gruffer than usual, almost as if someone had run my vocal chords through an action movie filter. I could dig it.

  I grasped hold of Sally’s head, and, gently as I could, turned it back the right way. It was going to be a while before she was walking again, even with her fast healing, but she managed to mouth “thanks” to me.

  That was all the time we had for meaningful conversation. I scooped her up and tossed her over my shoulder, her weight barely a feather to me. Oh yeah. It was like that time Kelvin Lightblade had donned a girdle of giant strength, only better because I wasn’t wearing a girdle.

  I’d caught Calibra by surprise, but didn’t fool myself into thinking she’d be out for the count. If anything, she was gonna be pissed. Freewill or not, she definitely had the advantage.

  Thankfully – well, not really – but our next choice was made easy by the shrieks of pain that still sounded through the halls. My hearing, now amplified a good ten times past my normal limit, easily picked up the direction it came from. Sadly, I also came to the same conclusion Sally had right before she’d been snapped like a toothpick. Though there were no words, the pitch was a familiar one

  It was Christy and, whatever was being done to her, she was in agony.

  ♦ ♦ ♦

  After determining her direction, I knocked down the wall behind us, hopefully buying a few extra seconds, then took off.

  This place was packed. The scents alone told me that – Jahabich and vampires, mostly. That made sense. Zealots they might be for their reborn White Mother, but most witches and wizards had a sense of right and wrong. If Christy was indeed being tortured, I had to think at least some would have questioned it. Still, that meant no fireballs to the face for the time being. I’d take it.

  The Jahabich were the first to respond, seemingly connected to Mommy’s whims. However, they presented no challenge. Heads rolled, quite literally. Three came at me and I took them down in quick succession, never losing my grip on Sally.

  Christy’s voice seemed to be coming from somewhere below. Go figure – even at the center of the Earth there was a basement.

  “Mistress? Is something wrong?”

  I turned to see a familiar sight: Firebird stepping around a corner heading my way. She saw me and skidded to a halt. “Who the hell are you?”

  Her eyes focused on who I was holding, then back to my face. They widened in surprise, then, without further preamble, she took off running in the opposite direction.

  Sally moaned questioningly from where I held her. She was gonna be pissed, and I couldn’t blame her, but we didn’t have time for the traitorous redhead right now.

  “Sorry, wrong number,” I said, then let my ears lead me once more.

  I found a set of stairs and leapt nimbly down them. I could get used to this shit ... minus all the enemies and the unbeatable witch-vamp who’d no doubt be hot on our asses soon.

  More of Calibra’s forces met us at the bottom. I dusted one vamp and then crushed another between a pair of Jahabich. “Sorry, but I forgot the mayo for this asshole sandwich.”

  “That was pathetic,” a weak voice said from over my shoulder. It was good to see Sally’s healing was starting to kick in.

  I strode past the remains of our enemies and kicked in a massive obsidian door that lay beyond their broken bodies.

  Now all we had to do was...

  I stopped dead in my tracks. “Holy shit.”

  “What is it?” Sally asked. “I can’t see dick back here.”

  “That’s because my dick isn’t back there,” I replied idly, my gums doing little more than flapping as I took in the sight before us.

  The sub cavern was big, probably extending further than the structure sitting above it, and it was absolutely crawling with Jahabich. Dozens of them stood side by side, still as statues, forming the walls of makeshift rooms.

  I guess it beat putting up drywall.

  I took a sniff and then gagged. This place was ripe, and not because of the Jahabich either. Piss, shit, sweat, and with no cross breeze to air it out. Whoever was down here, they’d been left to rot.

  That bioluminescent stuff lit the entire place, but in greater concentration than above. However, the glow it provided was mostly offset by the sizzling ball of energy that floated at the far end – jet black, like a sphere of nothingness, waiting to consume all around it.

  The screams were coming from inside of it.

  Before I could step forward, movement caught my attention. I tensed myself to take out the two Jahabich nearest me, but they paid no heed to my presence. They simply stepped apart, like a living automatic door, r
evealing four more of their brethren. These were carrying what looked to be a stone table. That in itself wasn’t particularly interesting so much as who was lying upon it. Gan! Her eyes were closed and stalagmites pinned her arms and legs down.

  My gaze was torn, however, between her and the familiar face standing just behind.

  “It’s about fucking time.” He looked up from a notebook he’d been busy jotting stuff down in. “Put her over there. I’ll be ready for her just as soon as I finish dissecting this one.”

  “Dave?”

  Magic Circle of Life

  “Yeah?” my former DM asked. “That’s my name, Mongo. Now do as you’re told, otherwise the boss lady is gonna be pissed. We both know you won’t like that.”

  What the...? Oh yeah, I only looked like myself in the vaguest roided-out sense.

  “Please tell me that’s not who I think it is,” Sally said.

  “Pipe down,” I told her. “Adults are speaking. Dave, it’s me, Bill.”

  “Bill? Bill who?”

  “Kelvin Lightblade,” I replied. “You know, the character you sacrificed to a fucking demon orgy.”

  His eyes opened wide. “Bill? No shit? When did you discover exercise?”

  “Um ... never mind that. We’ve come to rescue you ... and some other folks. What exactly are you doing, by the way?”

  “Oh, you know, just what I was told to do. The glorious Ib has commanded me to aid her efforts to discover the secrets of the pure one.”

  His eyes glazed ever so slightly as he spoke that last sentence. Shit! He was compelled, although apparently not too deeply since he still seemed to be him. That made sense. The more you were opposed to something, the stronger a compulsion would need to be. But ordering Dave to perform insane medical experiments? That was a slow Tuesday for him.

  “What do you mean, aid her?”