The Passionate Princess
Page 6
She had realised when they were walking together in the wood that there was something very athletic in the way he moved.
“Tomorrow,” he said quietly, “when we ride together, you will realise that there is no better exercise.”
“That is what I have always believed. I want to ride and ride every day so that I shall never grow fat.”
Nikōs laughed.
“I am sure that is an impossibility and I am only afraid that you will fly away from me on the wind.’
They went back into the sitting room.
Now the flames were high over the log in the fireplace, the curtains had been drawn and it was warm and very cosy.
Thea sat down, not in a chair, but on the fur rug in front of the fire.
The light on her hair seemed to echo the flames and Nikōs was sitting gazing at her.
Then, as the warmth made her yawn, he commented,
“You are tired.”
“I was up very early,” she answered.
“How early?”
“Dawn had not yet broken.”
“Then you must go to bed at once.”
She did not reply and after a moment he asked her,
“Have you enjoyed your first day of freedom?”
“It has been wonderful! More exciting than I can possibly say.”
“What will you do when you have to go back?”
“I have decided I will not go back!”
“Never?”
“Never!” Thea averred firmly.
She thought if she did, however long she had stayed away, she would still be forced to marry King Otho.
She would find some place where her father would never discover her and she would have Mercury with her – so that nothing else in the world mattered.
Nikōs did not speak, he was only watching her closely.
Because Thea thought that he wanted to retire, she rose to her feet.
“You are right,” she sighed, “I will go to bed. There is always tomorrow and thank you for being so kind to me.”
He had risen as she had and now he stood with his back to the fire looking at her.
“As you say,” he said in a deep voice, “there is always tomorrow and indeed the day after.”
She smiled and he went on,
“What matters is that we have found each other!”
As he spoke, he put his arms round her and drew her against him.
It was so unexpected that Thea hardly realised what was happening.
Then his lips were on hers.
She was so surprised that she did not struggle.
She only knew that she had not realised that a kiss could hold her completely captive so that she felt that it was impossible to move.
Then she felt a very strange sensation she had never known before streaking through her body.
It was like the first notes of a sonata.
Only this was music that was playing in her heart.
She felt Nikōs’s arms tighten round her
His lips became more insistent, demanding and possessive.
She was not frightened.
It was the magic of the fir trees, the enchantment of the flowers and the shimmering light on the water.
He kissed her until she felt that her whole body was pulsating with magic.
She had always known that it was there inside her if she could but find it.
Only when he raised his head did she stare at him, her breath was coming quickly from between her parted lips.
“Go to bed, my lovely,” he said in a voice that was very deep and a little hoarse.
It was impossible to speak, because he had carried her up to the mountain peaks.
Thea obeyed him and, moving swiftly across the room without looking back, she opened the door.
She ran up the stairs into her bedroom.
There was only one candle burning by the side of the bed and her nightgown had been laid out for her.
The flowers on the headboard seemed a part of the dream world that Nikōs had taken her into.
She undressed quickly and climbed into bed.
Only when she was lying back against the pillows could she think and ask herself how it was possible to feel such rapture.
It was different from anything that she had ever felt before.
Yet it was familiar because she had known that it was there.
She had known it when she played the piano and known it when she heard the song of the birds.
She had known it when she looked out over the valley and when she felt the beauty of it tug at her heart.
She felt as if she was still being carried towards the mountain peaks and to the stars that were shining so brightly overhead.
The magic in the woods was whispering a song that she could only sing in her heart.
She was just about to blow out the candle by the bed.
Then to her surprise the door opened and Nikōs came in.
He had undressed and was wearing a long robe that was crimson and frogged with gold braid.
He looked different, somehow larger and yet even more attractive.
He came towards the bed and, as Thea looked at him with wide eyes, he sat down on it facing her.
With difficulty, because she had to come back from her dreams, she found her voice.
“W-what do you – want? Why – are you – h-here?”
“I did not finish saying ‘goodnight’ to you.”
“B-but – I do not – think you should – come to my room.”
“Why not?”
“It is – incorrect.”
“What we have already done can hardly be called correct,” Nikōs parried. “And I think, my darling, you want me a little as I want you overwhelmingly!”
“I-I don’t – understand.”
“Then let me make it clearer. I will look after you, protect you and hide you if that is what you want.”
“I want that – but I still do not – think we need talk about – it when I am in bed.”
He looked at her piercingly until, as he realised that she really did not understand, he said,
“What I am trying to say, perhaps inadequately, is that I will teach you about love. You will feel even more ecstatic than you felt just now when I kissed you.”
“It was – wonderful!” Thea admitted, “but I think – ” She stopped and gave a little cry, “Are you saying that you – want to – make love to me?”
“Yes, that is what I want.”
“But – of course you must not do that!”
“Why not?”
“Because – it is wrong – very wrong.”
“Why should you think that? How could anything so wonderful be wrong?”
He did not wait for Thea to reply, but bent forward towards her.
For a moment her lips were very soft beneath his.
Then, as she excited him so that he could no longer go on talking, he put his arms around her.
At the same time he lifted his feet onto the bed.
His lips became fiercer and Thea felt again the wonder that he had given her when he had first kissed her.
Then she was aware that his hand was touching her breast and she struggled.
“I want you – God how I want you!” Nikōs asserted.
“Please – you must not – do this!” she gasped.
She did not think that he could have heard her for now he was kissing her neck.
She felt a thrill that was like a streak of forked lightning running through her body.
Then he was pushing the sheet lower and his hand was moving down her body.
She pressed her hands against his chest and then realised how strong he was.
Now she was frightened – really frightened.
“Stop! Please – stop!” she pleaded.
It was as if Nikōs did not hear.
“I am – frightened! You are – frightening – me. Please – please – Nikōs – listen to me! I am – frightened.”
It
was the cry of a child.
And it stopped him in a way that nothing else would have done.
He raised his head as if he could not believe what he had heard.
He looked down at her.
He saw the terror in her eyes and the tears that were now running down her cheeks.
“I am – so frightened!” she repeated. “I-I don’t know – what you are – doing, but I – know it is – wrong!”
The words fell over themselves and her tears blinded her eyes.
He gazed at her for one long moment and then very slowly he moved off the bed to sit facing her as he had done before.
It was impossible for Thea to stop crying.
But the light from the candle turned her hair to flaming gold and her skin was very white and translucent.
She had no idea how utterly desirable she looked.
“Please – please,” she said again incoherently.
Taking a handkerchief from the pocket of his robe, Nikōs bent forward and wiped the tears from her eyes.
“It’s all right,” he reassured her. “I will not hurt you.”
Now he could see that the pupils of her eyes were dilated and she was trembling.
“I will not hurt you,” he said again. “At the same time I don’t understand.”
“You are – not angry?”
“Only bewildered,” he replied. “How can you wander about the countryside alone, talk to a strange man and stay in his house?”
“You – asked me to – stay!”
He smiled.
“Yes, I asked you and it seemed the obvious thing to do.”
He paused before he went on,
“Have you no idea of the dangers you might encounter, in fact have encountered?”
“I-I did not – think of – it,” Thea said hesitatingly.
“You make it very difficult for me or any other man.”
“Why?”
“You know the answer to that! You are very beautiful and very desirable.”
She looked at him as if she was puzzling out what he meant.
Then she asked.
“Do you mean – because I look – pretty it makes – you want to do – what is wrong?”
“It depends what you mean by wrong. I want to make love to you and I want to make you mine.”
She looked at him and she was still trembling.
“But I promise you that I will not do anything that makes you so frightened,” he said quietly, “although it is going to be hard if you stay with me.”
“Do you want me to – go away?”
The fear was back in Thea’s voice and Nikōs smiled.
“No, I want you to stay, you know that.”
She looked at him uncertainly.
“Perhaps – I should – go.”
It flashed through her mind that if she did there were bound to be other men.
They would come to her room as Nikōs had done. They might try to make love to her whether she tried to stop them or not.
As if he knew what she was thinking, he said,
“You can stay here, at least for a little while, but it would be much easier if you did what I wanted.”
He thought that the fear was back in her eyes and he suggested gently,
“We will talk about it tomorrow. Go to sleep now and don’t be afraid. The dragons are all gone!”
“You – promise you – are not – angry with me?”
There was a little twist to his lips as Nikōs replied,
“Shall I say I am disappointed?”
He took her hand and raised it to her lips.
“Goodnight, Ice Maiden, and another time remember to lock your door.”
He pulled himself off the bed as he spoke.
“Do you mean – ” Thea asked, “so that you should not – come in?”
He did not reply and she said almost beneath her breath,
“I never – thought of it.”
Nikōs had reached the door.
“Forget it and go to sleep,” he said. “As you said earlier, there is always tomorrow.”
“And – you will be – here?”
“I promise you I will not disappear in the night, but you must promise me the same.”
Then he went out and closed the door quietly behind him.
She heard him cross the landing and go into the room opposite.
Then there was silence.
She did not blow out the candle at first and instead she lay in bed thinking of what had just happened.
Insidiously the rapture that she had felt when Nikōs kissed her came back and she felt the wonder of it within her breast.
She could feel too the lightning that had swept through her when he had kissed her neck.
To her horror she then found herself wondering why she had stopped him.
Why had she not let him make love to her as he had wanted to?
‘It is wrong – wicked – and, if I had done so – I would be like the – women who Georgi enjoys himself with – when he is in Paris.’
Yet she wanted Nikōs to kiss her again and she wanted him to touch her.
How was it possible that she should feel like this for a man she had never seen until this morning?
Yet he had always been in her dreams and in the stories she told herself.
He was the Prince Charming who would appear unexpectedly and he would love her as she would love him.
Then she knew that in the Fairytale the Prince asked her to be his wife.
When she said ‘yes’, they were married and lived happily ever after.
Innocent though she was, Thea knew only too well that Nikōs did not wish to marry her.
He wanted to be her lover.
‘It would be wrong – very wrong – for me to – agree to anything that was – so wicked,’ she told herself.
But her lips were aching for his kisses and now he had gone she wanted him to stay.
It flashed through her mind that she had only to cross from her room to his and they would be together.
She was shocked at her own feelings and her own thoughts.
She knew then instinctively that she could not possibly stay.
She jumped up, took off her nightgown and dressed herself in her riding habit.
It was hanging in the wardrobe and so were the few other things that she had brought with her. She put them in the woollen shawl that had been attached to her saddle and then she wrapped her slippers and her hairbrush in her blue chiffon scarf.
When she was ready, she peeped through the curtains.
To her relief she saw that there was a moon that was turning everything outside to silver and it would make it easier for her to find her way to the stables.
She would collect Mercury and ride away.
Very very softly, she opened the door of her bedroom and on tiptoe she went down the stairs.
Everything was silent.
She thought that, if one of the wooden stairs creaked, it would be like a pistol shot.
There was moonlight coming from two glass windows on either side of the door.
As she reached it, she saw that there were two bolts, one up high and the other low down.
She had to balance on tiptoe to reach the higher bolt.
She was just drawing it back, finding it rather stiff, when a voice behind her asked,
“Where do you think you are going?”
She started and turned round.
In the moonlight she could see Nikōs standing at the top of the stairs.
He was wearing the crimson robe that he had worn when he came to her room.
He walked down the stairs towards her.
She felt that he was very large and overpowering, while she was like a schoolgirl who had been caught out playing truant.
He came nearer.
Just as he reached the last step, she turned round to stand at the window with her back to him.
She thought that he was going to be angry with her and she was trembling.<
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‘I have – to go! I – have to go – away,’ she told herself.
Then Nikōs was just behind her and to her surprise his voice was quiet and gentle as he asked,
“Why are you leaving me?”
“I-I have – to!”
“Why?”
She tried to find the words and, because she did not speak, Nikōs asked again,
“Why are you going?”
Thea then told him the truth.
“Because – I want to – stay with you.”
For a moment there was silence before he replied,
“My darling, I was a fool to frighten you.”
He drew in his breath and then, almost as if he was speaking to himself, he said,
“I had no idea that you were so young, so innocent and so unspoilt.”
“I-I have to – go,” Thea persisted. “I will – find somewhere – else to stay.”
“You really think that I would let you do anything quite so dangerous?” Nikōs asked. “Or so incredibly foolish?”
Because his voice was so kind and because she was still frightened, once again Thea was crying.
Nikōs did not say anything more, he merely bent down and picked her up in his arms.
Clutching her two bundles against her breast, Thea put her head against his shoulder and closed her eyes.
She was aware of the security of his arms and the comfort of being so close to him.
The world outside was dark and she was sure that there were dragons waiting to attack her.
Nikōs carried her up the stairs and back into her bedroom.
He set her gently down on the bed and, taking her bundles from her, he put them on a chair.
Then he suggested,
“I want you to go to sleep. Tomorrow we will make plans, but now you are very tired.”
“I-I thought – you would be – asleep,” Thea stammered.
“I was sitting thinking about you.”
“As I – thought about – you.”
“I think, my darling,” he said, “you were loving me, as I was loving you.”
Thea looked at him with wide eyes.
“How – how do you – know that?”
He smiled.
“We know so much about each other, how could you possibly do anything so cruel, so wrong and wicked as to leave me?”
She knew that he was quoting her own words back at her. She wanted to stay with him because it had been an agony to have to run away.
Instinctively she put out her hands towards him and he took them in his.
“I am going to say now,” he said very quietly, “something I swear to you I have never said to any other woman.”