Amy Cooper Forever

by Craig Mullins

  “Why? Why do you want to know?” He leaned back in his chair and slowly pushed the plate away. He had to quell her re-emergence from submissive wife and settle her back in her place once and for all. He was bored with her, had been for a number of years. If she really wanted to know what this was all about then it was about time she realised who it was she was married to.

  “Why are you being like this Philip?”

  “I’ve always been like this, I’m not the one who changed, what happened to that feisty, spunky thirteen year old from Amy’s funeral?” He knew which buttons to press, the mere mention of her sister could send her into deep depression that could last weeks. The way he felt at the moment he was happy to let her slide so far and deep into that depression that it would take her years to recover if at all.

  “You’re a bastard, do you know that?” She went to walk off.

  “They asked me about Amy.” He took a packet of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter and lit one before he placed them on the table. It was nearly five years since he’d given up, but he figured it wouldn’t be too long until he was serving at her majesty’s pleasure so he may as well get back into the habit again. And besides he had missed it, it was one of the few things he had ever done for Hayley. “They questioned me about her murder.” He could see the effect this was having on her, the tension in her face, the vein in her temple was beginning to pop. “They think I had something to do with her murder.”

  “Why would they think that?” She was confused, he loved her sister. Why on earth would they even think he had anything to do with the killing of her.

  “Because I did.” He confessed, he knew whatever he told her would be her word against his. She laughed at him. It was not the reaction he had expected and it just proved what he had always known – she thought he was a joke. She went to walk off.

  “SIT THE FUCK DOWN WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU.” He stood and slammed his fist on the table. At last he could finally see fear in her eyes.

  “You’re scaring me Philip.” She said as she took the seat opposite him. The atmosphere in their once warm and friendly house had become distinctly frosty in the last couple of minutes. “So if you did it why did they let you go. They wouldn’t let you come home to me and the kids if you’d really killed my sister. Is this some fucked up joke of yours? Because if it is I’m not finding it very funny.”

  “They let me go because they have no evidence. Nothing. All they have is DI Price’s theories which nobody else seems to believe. Except maybe that prick of a DS that came with her, but all he’s interested in is.getting in her knickers. The evidence they do have – fingerprints, hair fibres and DNA at the scene can’t be used.”

  “That’s bullshit, if they had all that evidence you wouldn’t be here now.” He could sense her mocking him, he could feel his blood begin to boil.

  “Little miss know-it-all for your information none of my evidence can be used because it is discounted as I was the responding officer and first on the scene. I made sure that I was the closest officer so that I could ensure that if I’d left any evidence behind it wouldn’t count.” He sat and looked at her, he could see as her brain tried to process what he was telling her.

  “But what about the man they caught, there was evidence that he did it, his semen was even found inside her. He’s serving life for what he did.” She countered as she tried to catch him out.

  “Correction, he is serving life for a crime I committed. Do you remember the night of Amy’s fifteenth birthday?”

  “Yes, I was allowed to stay up late, and I can recall that at the end of the night no one could find you. Amy was upset that she couldn’t thank you for all the hard work you had put in. And I especially remember overhearing a conversation she had with mum. They were in the kitchen filling black sacks with the rubbish and I was standing by the door – they didn’t see me. At the time I didn’t know what they were talking about but now I think I know. She was telling mum that she had made a mistake, that she’d realised that night that she had feelings for someone. She said she didn’t know exactly what the feelings were but there was something, more than friendship and that she knew he felt the same. Then she begged her to help her find you because you had to know how she felt.”

  This was a knife to the heart for him, if the table hadn’t been separating them he would have placed his hands around her pretty little throat and squeezed until either she took the words back or her life was extinguished. At this point n time he had no preference one way or another – what she said was a lie, it had to be. He hadn’t gone through all that he had just to be told he’d made a mistake. If that was the case it was one hell of a monumental fuck up on his part.

  “You’re a fucking lying whore just like your sister.”

  “She loved you Pinky.” She had never called him Pinky, ever since the day at the funeral he had wanted to be known to her as Philip. He was ‘Pinky’ to Amy, he wanted it to be different withHayley. When he saw her that day he had truly thought that he could build a life with her and be happy. It was only after the birth of their second child that he had started to change towards her. He saw her for what she was – a poor copy of Amy, he should have known that he would never be able to get away from his feelings for her older sister. Even in the beginning he could never stop himself fantasising that she was her. Often thinking of Amy in her final moments at the point of climax.

  “No she didn’t, if she did why was she fucking that cunt Adam the night of her birthday. I saw them with my own eyes, she was enjoying having his cock inside her.” He couldn’t stop the tears no matter how hard he tried.

  “That was what she meant by making a mistake, she never wanted to be with Adam. She told me that it was her first time and that she had felt pressured into ‘doing it’ by her friend Chelsea. Chelsea convinced her that she needed to have sex with someone other than the person she wanted to truly be with. She told her that if her first time was with the person she loved then it would be a disaster. She told me just before she died that her biggest regret had been that one night with Adam and losing touch with you. She tried to get in touch with you, for a year she went round to your mum’s to see if she’d heard from you.” She was calmer now, seeing him cry somehow reassured her, she had rarely seen this much emotion from him. In her heart she wanted to believe that he couldn’t possibly have done what was rumoured to have been done to her sister, she knew she would never know the full truth. But a stronger part of her, the part that knew her husband’s deepest soul sensed that he was telling her the truth. And it terrified her. Her hope now was not to antagonise him, she just had to buy herself enough time to seek help.

  “She didn’t try hard enough. I would have forgiven her.” He wasn’t talking to her any longer, she wasn’t there now, he was speaking to himself. “Why didn’t she look harder, I could have come back. She didn’t try.” He got up and walked down the hall and up the stairs. It is as if she doesn’t exist any longer. She takes her chance and slowly makes her way out the back door, just her car keys and her phone and the clothes she is wearing. She’s glad that the kids are at her mum’s.

  She sat in her car, it was nearly twelve o’clock the day before Christmas Eve. Her Nissan Micra was her pride and joy, it had been a present from her husband. With the key in the ignition she turned it and the engine came to life. She took one last look at the house she thought she had been happy in. Then she drove, for an hour she just drove anywhere, thoughts ran in and out of her head. During the drive she cried and laughed and cried some more. The crying for her sister, had she really spent all of these years with the man responsible for her murder. Her children were the result of her intimacy with a killer.

  She wiped her eyes as she pulled up outside the police station, a drab nineteen seventies cinder block building. Apart from the two squad cars parked in the front and a small sign proclaiming ‘Police Station’ this could have been any building. As she sat there a mum with her delinquent teenage son emerged from the double doors.
He looked like it would more than likely become his second home in his later years. She let them get far enough away before she got out of her car, she couldn’t believe she was doing this.

  Inside the interior was just as drab as the exterior, grey walls, grey floors and an off white ceiling. To her left after she entered was an opaque glass screen with a small brass push bell mounted on a varnished wooden block. Either side of the glass were notice boards with adverts from no win no fee solicitors to victim of crime counsellors. She hesitated before she pressed the bell, behind the glass she could see and hear movement, then the window slowly slid open and a dour elderly man appeared, his stomach stopped him getting too close. “How may I help Miss?” He said, his manner friendly but bored.

  “I need to speak to DI Price please.” She said before she had a chance to turn tail and run away.

  He looked down his list at staff on duty, “Sorry miss but there isn’t anybody here with that name.”

  “There must be, she came to my house yesterday with another man, a DI… god what was his name.. Hales? No…”

  “Not DS Jim Swales?”

  “That’s it. Is he here?”

  “I’ll just give him a call and see if he is available. Can I take your name please.”

  “Hayley Thorne.” He could see a brief glimmer of recognition in his eyes, did everyone know who her husband was and what they were alleging he’d done. He made a brief call.

  “If you’d like to take a seat and DS Swales and DI Price will be down shortly.” He indicated the three chairs situated against the wall behind her.

  She sat in the left hand seat, the window was once more closed and she waited. And she waited. It was twenty minutes before the door beside her finally opened and the two officers she had last seen at her home stepped through. “Hi, Hayley, how can we help?” This was from DI Sian Price.

  “Is there somewhere we can talk?”

  “Of course, come with us.” They led her down an equally drab corridor and into one of the interview rooms. A table in the middle with two chairs either side. Hayley took one and Sian and Jim took the two opposite.

  “What’s this about Hayley, we released your husband a few hours ago.”

  “I know, I need you help.”

  “Why do you need our help?”

  “Because he is guilty of what you are accusing him of.”

  “He told you why we bought him in?” Sian looked confused, she didn’t understand why he would tell her that he had killed the only sibling she had. She believed he had told her another story.

  “He told me you bought him in to question him about the murder of my sister. He then told me that you had no evidence and never would.”

  “That’s partly correct I hate to tell you, but we will get him. I know he did it but without any evidence our hands are tied.” Hayley noticed that although she could see in her eyes a resignation there was still an element of fire left.

  “I want to help.” She said.

  “Without evidence there is not a lot we can do, so unless you know of anything?”

  “He told me he did it, he took great pleasure in it. At first I didn’t believe him, but as he talked I became more and more certain of his guilt.” At this point she broke down, Sian went and stood on her side of the table and put her arm around her shoulder. She felt her body shudder at her touch.

  “Do you know of anything that can tie him to your sister’s murder?”

  “I don’t know, I thought I knew my husband and if you had asked me a week ago whether he could be a killer it would have been an emphatic ‘no’. What sort of thing would you need?”

  “Anything that can put him in the chalet the night she died, I shouldn’t be telling you this as it was kept out of the media. There were items missing from the chalet, we’ve assumed all theses years that they were taken as souvenirs. Adam, the man convicted has always maintained his innocence, and when asked about the missing items denied having them. The items have never been recovered, I now believe that your husband is in possession of them. He may have destroyed them, or he may keep them someplace safe. It is your sister’s underwear, other clothes were recovered from the scene but not her underwear. I am trusting you with this information, it may be the only thing that will convict him. I realise that now you have this information you could warn him and he will never be bought to justice – I believe you don’t want that. If you have any idea where you think it could be then don’t disturb it but let me know and we could be there in fifteen minutes, you don’t want him to know that his secret has been discovered.” Sian got up and went back to her side of the table. “Do you have any idea where he would hide something like that?”

  “There are a couple of places. Places he thinks I know nothing about.” She wiped the last of the tears from her eyes, these are going to be the last ones she sheds until the monster she calls her husband is behind bars.

  “Here’s my mobile number.” She handed her a business card from the Norfolk constabulary, “if you find anything that we can use, call me. Don’t call 999 – I will get there quicker. They said their farewells and Hayley made her way out and back to her car. Her body felt light almost ethereal, it was like she was living out some plot in a movie. Only this movie was her life.

  As she sat in her car a myriad of thoughts descended. How could she continue with this charade of a marriage when she knew what she knew. Her first job was to secure the safety of her daughters. A quick phone call to her mom and it was arranged that she would keep the girls at hers until Christmas, maybe longer. The second and hardest task was to find a way to search the house without tipping off Philip. It was two when she finally pulled her car onto the driveway – Philip’s car was gone.

  FIFTY

  After he’d gone upstairs he didn’t even notice when his wife left. He went to his wardrobe. It didn’t matter anymore, he tossed the old clothes across the room. The wooden panel he ripped off and that joined the clothes on the other side of the bedroom. Once he had retrieved his treasures he sat on the end of the bed. The manuscript he placed beside him, his focus was the underwear, he knew this was the last time he would be alone with them. He handled them as if they were a valuable piece of art – to him they were priceless. He placed them in the centre of the bed, laid out with precision. The spacing between the bra and knickers the same as they would have been if Amy were wearing them. Satisfied that it was correct his focus turned back to his book. Finding the last page of the last pad he tore it out. With pen in hand he started to write a note for his wife.

  Dearest Hayley,

  We have been through a lot together, but I bet you never saw this coming, did you? By now you must have realised that I am a monster (I’m not, but it is how you will perceive me and I understand). I would like to assure you that she didn’t suffer.

  That night we chatted, we chatted a lot. Well I did, she didn’t really say anything – something to do with the drugs I had given her. I made her listen to all the reasons I was doing what I was doing. To be perfectly honest with you the climax was…what’s the word I am looking for – that’s it anti-climactic. The meal was a disaster to be frank, the sauce was lovely but the meat was extremely chewy, it does sort of prove me right though doesn’t it about her having a tough heart.

  I have left you a present on the bed, I have coveted these for many years, I fantasised many times about dressing you in them while I fucked you, but somehow I never believed you to be worthy of wearing them. I have also left you my book, all I ask is that you submit it to the publisher - I have left you the details. Feel free to read it, it may fill in a few blanks for you.

  Please don’t think I don’t love you – I do. It was just no one was ever going to replace your sister. I am sure you are sitting there thinking ‘why did you have to kill her?’ Again this is explained in the book, but the short and concise answer is that I could not have watched her being happy with somebody else.

  By the time you get back and discover this I will be gone, don�
��t bother trying to find me and please tell the girls that their dad loves them.

  Yours forever

  Philip

  He folded the piece of paper and wrote her name on the front. He took one last glance at the bed, sad to be leaving his last reminder behind. With the note in his hand and a small holdall with a few clothes he went downstairs. A quick glance into each of the girl’s rooms before he descended the stairs, he was going to miss them. In the kitchen he placed the note on the table propped against the salt and pepper mills. He sat on one of the breakfast bar stools and realised that his wife wasn’t home. His watch told him it was just shy of one o’clock, when did his wife go, he was only talking to her a while ago. He had hoped to hand her the note personally, the fear in her eyes earlier had got him excited and he wanted one last time to see that look again. He felt cheated. Though as he sat there a fun thought entered his head, maybe he would pop back sometime and give her something to really be scared about. He wouldn’t make the same mistakes he made with her sister, no, he wouldn’t drug her. Sturdy rope would suffice for her, and no mercy kill before the slicing and dicing began. If he came back for his wife it would be solely for fun and not revenge. He could get her to say hello to Amy. Should he wait? No, he wanted to get off. He left the note where it was, she should see it as soon as she got back. When he locked the door he was about to put the keys through the letterbox when he had second thoughts and put them in his bag. He could use them to surprise her if he returned. As much as he had sort of come to love Hayley he didn’t think he was going to miss her. In the early years she had been fun, she was a rebellious teenager. The last few years, well actually since Charlotte had been born she had lost her appeal. He had stayed with her because it had allowed him his little indulgences. Not that there had been many, maybe half a dozen. She had become obsessed with the girls, she fussed over them constantly. At times he had thought about disappearing for a few days to see how long it would take for her to notice that he wasn’t there. He became grateful of her indifference as she never questioned him if he told her he had a work thing and had to go away for a night or two. These were generally the times he used for his ‘Hobby’ as he liked to call it. As much as he was adamant Amy would be the only one, he had found it hard to resist others.