by K. R. Reese
Walking into the office, I tried not to notice all the sympathetic stares from my colleagues. That couldn’t be a good sign. I did my best to ignore them and walked into Mike’s open door.
“You wanted to see me?” My voice was hoarse, and I tried to clear my throat.
“Yes, please close the door and have a seat.”
I did as he asked and fidgeted nervously.
“I was surprised to get your email on Saturday, to say the least. Your articles for Chaos so far have been exceptional, and for you to just up and quit. I hadn’t been expecting that.” He paused before leaning forward on his desk. “What happened that caused you to flee the tour?”
Mike was staring at me intently and it made me uncomfortable. I sat up straighter and did my best to keep my voice even.
“I know you weren’t expecting me to be back already. I’m sorry for just quitting the tour. It had become…personal for me. While I enjoyed the experience it gave me, I wasn’t cut out to finish with everything going on.”
He stared at me a moment longer before replying. “I’m sorry to hear that. But, as you know, Passage has a policy to uphold. Unless you plan on going in depth on your personal problems with the tour, I see no eligible reason for it.”
I drop my stare to the floor. “I can’t go into detail.”
“Well, then I’m sorry, Haven, but I expect your resignation letter on my desk by noon and all your things to be cleared out of your desk. Your time at Passage has come to an end.”
“I understand.” I stand and walk out of the office. Going to my desk, I ignore everyone else and begin to box my things. I knew quitting the tour would be the end of my job, but I couldn’t stay there. I’d developed feelings for Lukus that were completely foreign. I also crossed a line by sleeping with the client. Of course, no one knew that, not even Luk himself, but it still nagged in the back of my head.
Over the weekend, I’d learned that I was in love with him. I hadn’t planned on getting so close to any of the band members, keeping it strictly professional. After the mugging incident, though, they’d taken care of me and had become my family. Carissa was all I had now, and she was going to be pissed at me for losing this job.
After my things were packed, I typed my resignation letter and headed to Mike’s office. He wasn’t there, so I left the letter on his desk and called a cab.
It took twenty minutes to get home with traffic on the interstate this early. Once I walked through the door, though, I dialed Carissa.
“You resigned! What the hell, Haven!?”
I cringed at her words, expecting her wrath. “Mike didn’t give me an option, Car. I either had to go into more detail about my personal problem on tour or resign. And if I’d gone into detail, he would’ve fired me anyways. I’m sure there’s somewhere in the guidebook that says you aren’t supposed to fall in love with your client.”
Silence ensued. I hadn’t told Carissa anything that had happened. I wanted to see what Mike was going to do first. Now that he was no longer a problem, I needed to open up to my best friend. I needed to tell someone.
“Car, I slept with Luk. I hadn’t even meant for it to happen. I hadn’t expected to get so close to any of them. But, I did. And I…I fell in love with the one person who will never feel the same.”
She sighed into the phone. “Skye, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me this last time we talked? I would’ve gone to Mike myself, so you could keep your job. I’d have figured something out.” She stopped. “Wait, you slept with Lukus!?”
A small smile tilted my lips that I didn’t feel. “It just sorta happened. I…he came to my hotel room after the show and the magnetism between us had been impossible to ignore in such small confines.”
She snickered. “Uh huh. It had nothing to do with the fact that he’s hot as hell, single, and if the stories are true, amazing in the sack.”
My face bloomed with embarrassment, thankful she couldn’t see me. “It really didn’t have anything to do with that, though the stories are definitely true. Lukus has a bad boy, asshole reputation, but underneath he’s just like you or me. He’s not the guy everyone knows from the tabloids and social media.”
My mind wanders back to the many moments we’d spent by ourselves or with the band. Lukus wasn’t anything like our research had said. Sure, he’d been a playboy and brought different women back to his hotel room every night. But, he had a soft side, too, that he hid behind the bad boy persona.
“You really do love him, don’t you?” Carissa’s question pulled me back to the present.
“Yeah, I do. But that was the problem, so I left. He…he could never want me in that way. Sexually, yeah, but long-term, it’s just not him. That still remains true even if everything else is a bit messed up.”
“Haven, I hate to sound harsh, but…what the fuck are you still doing home!? You should be on a plane, going to their next event and telling him exactly how you feel!”
“Not gonna happen, Car. Listen, it’s been a long few days. I’m gonna go. Talk soon.” I hang up the phone before she could yell more.
The last show of the tour had gone off without a hitch. I knew it would, but I’d been anxious lately and staying clean was becoming a struggle. Trey and Bryce kept me busy throughout our downtime, but it wasn’t enough. Zane hadn’t spoken to me unless it was necessary since Haven left.
Even with the long-legged brunette on her knees in front of me, my mind flitted to thoughts of Haven. Almost every night I had the same dream. We were in her hotel room and she was underneath of me, begging me to take her. The thought made my cock twitch, causing the brunette – Stacey? – moan around it. She thought I was hard for her when really, I was trying to fuck the image of Haven’s naked body from my mind.
The dreams were so vivid, I’d swear I’d seen her body before. That I’d heard her beg me to fuck her. That was impossible, of course, but the images were always nice anyway.
Fuck. I had to get rid of thoughts of Haven. She wasn’t coming back, and I didn’t know where to find her. The guys didn’t bring up her name and watched me sulk around a lot of the time. I knew Zane still talked to her, but he wouldn’t give me her number and Trey sided with him every time.
The woman at my feet moaned again, clearly enjoying the action. My head wasn’t in it though. I pull her hair back, so she releases me, and pull her to her feet. “I’m sorry, sweetheart, but you’ve got to go. I have some business to attend to. Maybe next time.”
She frowns and looks like she’s going to protest, but I don’t give her the chance. I open the door to the room and shove her right into Zane.
“Nice to see you’ve gone back to your old ways.” There’s a smirk on his face and his eyebrows raised.
“Shut the fuck up, Z. What do you want?”
He enters the room without my invitation. “Sure, make yourself comfortable.”
Turning toward me, the smirk drops from his face. “Look, Luk, we’ve kept our mouths shut, but I can’t do it anymore. You’re miserable, and while I’m surprised at how well you are doing, you need to pull your head out of your ass. I don’t know what happened with you and Haven, but I have a few guesses thanks to a…friendly source. If you’re so stuck up on her, go find her.”
His words stunned me a minute. It’s the most I’ve ever heard him say at one time, and we’ve been friends for years. But the last part of his statement makes me pause.
“Friendly source? Is that short for you’re talking to Haven?”
He shakes his head. “No, Luk, it isn’t. A friend of hers got into contact with me a few days ago and provided me with some very interesting information. Haven doesn’t know she contacted us, and this friend doesn’t want her to know. But, I do have an address and phone number for you. The tour’s over, you’re free for at least a few weeks before we have to be back in the studio.” He stops for a second, taking a breath and looking me right in the eye. “We all think you need to go. Actually, we’re making you go if we have to drag you there
.”
My mind was trying to process everything he’d said. Something wasn’t adding up. He wasn’t saying something.
“What aren’t you telling me, Z?”
A sad expression crosses his face before it disappears. “This friend says Haven had a rough few weeks. She had some…medical complications and won’t leave the house now. She’s worried about her and thinks you should reach out to her. But, she doesn’t want you storming in. Here’s her phone number and address. Let us know your plans because we want to go, too. We’ll let you talk to Haven by yourself first, but she’s our family, too.”
Zane leaves the room, handing me a folded piece of paper. Opening it up, there’s a number for Carissa written on it. Pulling out my phone, I dial it and let it ring.
After a few rings, I’m about to hang up when a woman’s voice comes over the line. “Hello?”
“Is this Carissa? Zane gave me your number. This is Lukus.”
“Oh, shit. Uh, yeah, hi. I wasn’t expecting your call so soon. Honestly, I wasn’t sure if you’d call at all.” She pauses. “I’ve been Haven’s best friend since elementary school. We grew up together, and she went through some…rather harsh circumstances with her mom. She told me what happened between you two, and I shouldn’t be saying anything to you, really, but I can’t ignore it anymore. Besides, I think you deserve to know.”
I’m speechless, trying to take in everything she’s saying. “Excuse me, Carissa, but I’m rather confused on what you’re referring to. What happened between Haven and me?”
Carissa groans. “Uh, she said you didn’t remember, but I didn’t believe her. I’d rather talk to you face-to-face if that’s okay. I can’t do this over the phone.”
I thought for a moment. “Sure, I’ll text you my flight details and we’ll meet up then.”
We say our goodbyes and I get to work on going to wherever the hell Haven is.
Two planes and a cab ride later, we’re in front of a modern apartment building. Carissa said she’d buzz us up and we were waiting for the signal. When the buzz comes from the speaker, I jump.
“Fuck, Luk, calm down. It’s just the door.”
Trey pulls it open and let’s me step in first. “What’re you expecting this Carissa woman to say?”
I shake my head, unable to form words. My throat feels dry and my stomach’s turning sour. The entire way here, I’d tried to figure out what Haven may have told her, but kept coming up empty.
When we reach the top floor, a woman who looks to be Haven’s age is waiting in the hallway in front of an open doorway. She smiles when she sees us. “Hi, I’m Carissa. I must say, I’ve heard a lot about all of you. You’re nothing like what the magazines say.”
She turns on her heel and enters the apartment, we all follow.
“Sit anywhere. I haven’t had time to clean up everything, but I’m not trying to impress you. Anyway, let’s discuss Haven.”
The sound of her name sends chills up my spine. It’s been weeks since I’ve seen her, and anticipation is a bitch. Carissa sits across from us and sighs.
“Haven was sick about two weeks after she came home. She couldn’t keep food down and refused to see a doctor. I finally forced her to go, dragging her there myself.” She pauses, meeting all our stares. Before she can continue, though, Zane’s off the couch.
“Where is she? Is she okay?” Then his eyes turn to me. “I swear, Lukus if you caused this, I will strangle you.”
I raise an eyebrow at him before signaling for Carissa to continue. She eyes Zane cautiously while he paces the floor. “She was severely dehydrated, probably from throwing up everything she did eat, and they kept her in the hospital for a few days. The biggest concern was to find out what was causing her to throw up.” Carissa pauses again and looks down. “After some blood work, the doctor came back to say she was pregnant.”
Son of a bitch. “How the hell is she pregnant!?” I hadn’t meant to yell, but my blood was boiling to think that anyone had touched her.
“That’s where it gets complicated,” she whispers. A key turning in the lock halts our conversation. Carissa’s eyes grow wide a second before Haven steps through the door, stopping in her tracks.
My heartbeat becomes erratic as I stare at her. My Haven. My life. My love. Love? Where the fuck had that come from? Haven looked more stunning standing in Carissa’s apartment than she ever had on tour. She was glowing. She’s pregnant. The sudden thought courses anger through my system again.
“Car, what…what are they doing here?” She eyes her friend suspiciously.
Carissa slowly stands, hands in the air. “Skye, I know you didn’t want them to know. I’m your best friend and I was supposed to keep your secret. But I couldn’t do it. You mope around all day, barely leaving your house. I’ve had to drag your ass out of bed more than once just to shower. I’m done watching you spiral out of control. They know.”
Haven’s face goes pale as her eyes meet mine. “Who’s the father?” My voice is hoarse, anger boiling under the surface. I keep it contained because I don’t want her running off again.
“I...I can’t tell you.” She looks away, toward the windows on the opposite of the room.
“Skye, they…he needs to know.”
Haven glares at Carissa, fists clenching at her sides. Then it registers what Carissa said. “Excuse me, he needs to know?” Haven closes her eyes, avoiding everyone’s stares. “Is it…is it someone in this room, Haven? Carissa?”
They simultaneously respond. “He’s in the room.”
My eyes automatically land on Zane who is staring at me intently. “Did you touch her, Z?”
His eyes widen, and he holds his hands up. “Don’t look at me, Luk. She’s hot and all, but she didn’t have eyes for me.”
“If it’s someone in this room, one of you had to fucking touch her. Who was it? Z denies it. What about you, Trey? Or maybe Bryce?” Luk’s voice is becoming strangled as he stares down his friends. His best friends. I glance at Carissa, hoping she understands why I didn’t want to tell them. This will tear them apart.
“What the fuck, Luk? You think I would…or Bryce!? Are you out of your fucking mind? I wouldn’t touch her, bro. She’s like my sister.” The rage coming from them all is beginning to make the room feel small.
“Skye, you’ve got to tell them before my apartment becomes a disaster area and has to be marked with crime scene tape for murders.”
I chuckle at Carissa for a second until I meet Luk’s glare. He trusted me and all I can see in his eyes now is a betrayal. But I haven’t betrayed him. Not in the way he’s thinking.
“Haven, we’re all here and aren’t going anywhere. Who’s the father so I can rip his dick off?” The look on Lukus’ face tells me he’s serious. I barely contain the smile that tries to come to my lips.
“Who is it, Haven?” Lukus growls out the words, again, between clenched teeth. I can’t form words, can’t speak, can’t breathe. They’re all waiting for an answer, and I’m speechless. Luk stands, stomping toward me until he’s in my face, yelling. “Who the fuck is it!?”
Zane and Trey pull him back to the couch. “Seriously, Luk, calm the fuck down. You want her to give you an answer when you have her scared shitless.”
“All I want to fucking know is who! Why is that so hard!”
Tears form in my eyes and my own anger flares to life. “Why do you have to fucking know?”
A growl erupts from his throat and he fights at Zane’s hands. Then he’s in front of me again, backing me up against the door, glaring down at me. “Haven, I’m not fucking around right now. Tell me who the father is.”
“It’s you! Now get the fuck away from me!” Luk steps back like I’ve slapped him. The tears fall harder and my head swims. The dizziness hits unexpectedly and I don’t have time to warn anyone before I slide down the door, closing my eyes.
“Fuck, Luk. Go outside and calm the hell down!” Trey’s voice barely registers in my ears.
A cold wash ra
g is placed on my head, but I still can’t open my eyes. Zane’s voice is closer, next to my ear. “Come on, Haven, wake up. You’re going to be fine.”
I slowly peel my eyes open, meeting his intense gaze. A sob escapes my throat, but I refuse to let anymore tears come. Zane smiles down at me.
“You scared us, sweetheart. Let’s get you up off the floor.”
I look past his shoulder to the balcony connected to Carissa’s living room. Trey has Lukus sat in a chair, his head in his hands.
“He’s fine. You drained his anger with one sentence. Come on, Carissa’s getting a bed made for you.”
I sway when I first stand, leaning into Zane for support. He wraps his arm around me and starts down the hallway. Once I’m in the room, he kisses my forehead and exits without a word. Exhaustion takes over and I fall asleep.
I awake to the darkness outside the window, the moonlight streaming through the curtains. How is it that I slept all day? On cue, my stomach growls, alerting me that I haven’t eaten since breakfast.
“Sounds like you could use something to eat.”
I jolt up from the bed, turning toward the recliner in the corner. Luk’s sitting there with a blanket and pillow at his feet just staring at me.
“Were you watching me sleep?” The thought makes me self-conscious, which I know sounds crazy after everything.
“I told Carissa I was staying here until you woke up. She told me to lock up when I left. Let’s get you something to eat. There’s leftover pizza in the fridge.”
I follow him down the hall and into the kitchen. He pulls the box out and sets it on the counter, allowing me to serve myself.
“Haven, I…there’s no way I’m the father.” He’s having trouble saying the words. “We never…I dreamed what we did. It wasn’t real.” Luk’s eyes search my face and I keep it composed. He doesn’t need to know that he just tore my heart apart and stomped on the remains.
Instead of answering, I take the box to the chair in the living room. He doesn’t follow, standing in the dim night light. “We’re staying at The Gibson a few blocks from here. It was the only thing with rooms this close.” He scratches the scruff growing on his face that I’ve never seen before. “Come find us tomorrow once you get moving.”
