Tune My Heart (Chaos Book 1)

by K. R. Reese

  I nod and watch him leave, knowing I won’t be there in the morning.

  Around six in the morning, there’s a pounding at my door. My throat clogs, thinking it’s Haven. I slip on my jeans and open it before checking. Zane’s standing there, cellphone in hand, rage pouring out of him. Before I can ask what’s going on, he’s pushed me back into the room, pinning me to the wall with his arm over my throat.

  “What the fuck did you do, asshole!? What the fuck did you say to Haven!” My mind isn’t registering his words right away, sleep deprived from staying at Carissa’s late.

  Zane removes his arm so I can speak. Taking a deep breath, I shrug. “What the fuck are you talking about? I told her to come find us in the morning.”

  “Well, she’s gone, Luk! Carissa woke up this morning and found a note telling her she was leaving. Her clothes are gone, her car is gone. Everything.”

  My entire body deflates. There’s no rage or pain left in me. I hadn’t meant to sound rude last night, but what she said was absurd. I had dreamed of being with Haven, but that’s all it had been – a dream. Right?

  “Shit,” I mutter and scoot around Zane to sit on the edge of the bed. “Z, we have to find her. I…I think we might’ve….I don’t think it was a dream.”

  He’s staring at me, rage still evident, and nods. “Trey’s already looking, took the car as soon as Carissa called. We don’t know where she could’ve gone. And we don’t know how far ahead she is.”

  I hear what he’s saying, but I can’t process it. Any of it. Haven doesn’t have any family left, that’s why she lives near Carissa and work. She may not have gotten far, but then again, if she left after I did last night, she could be hours away by now.

  She always talked about her hometown, how she was going to work at the paper there after she graduated. An idea comes to mind. “Z, call Carissa. Ask her how far away their hometown is.”

  “Luk, what good is that going to do? She could be anywhere, not the one place she wanted to escape…”

  “Just do it, Zane!” My hands are shaking so bad I barely manage to finish getting dressed and throwing all my shit in a bag. I can hear him talking lowly, curious as to what is being said.

  I’m done packing by the time he hangs up the phone. “Well?”

  “It’s about twenty miles north of here, on I-90. If we leave now, we can make it in 40 minutes before the traffic gets bad.”

  I nod in acknowledgment and head out the door, Zane following close behind. “Text Trey and Bryce, let them know where we’re headed.”

  He doesn’t respond, but he’s texting on his phone when I stop to wait for the elevator.

  We’re quiet as we get on the interstate. My hands haven’t stopped shaking and Zane took the wheel. Haven has to be there. If she isn’t, I don’t know what I’ll do.

  “Luk, you deny ever being with Haven, but why would she lie?”

  I keep my eyes ahead, not meeting his stare. “I don’t know if she’s lying, Z. Since she disappeared this morning, I don’t think she would be after money. Hell, even if she hadn’t disappeared, I know she wouldn’t be.” I sigh and tap my foot to calm my nerves. “I don’t think she’s lying anymore, Z. I think she is pregnant…and that I’m the father.”

  Zane’s eyes widen before he smirks. “About fucking time. I thought I was going to have to beat your ass.”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Then I get it. This was all a set-up by the guys who have stuck by my side through everything. “You know exactly where Haven is, don’t you?”

  He smiles again and takes the exit into downtown. “She’s holed up in a hotel room. Trey took her last night after he discussed this plan with her. You broke her heart, Luk. She thought you’d remember that night. When you didn’t, she thought…worse things, mostly about herself.”

  “What did she think?” I have a feeling I’m not going to like the answer he’s about to give me.

  “When you didn’t remember, she started thinking that you thought she was just another slut. Her words, not mine. We tried to tell her that wasn’t it, but she wouldn’t listen. Were you high that night, Luk? Don’t bullshit me.”

  Now, I was on the hot seat. There was the option to tell him the truth and have them all walking on eggshells, waiting for me to crack. Or, I could lie and say I got really drunk. But, I knew I couldn’t bullshit him.

  “Haven had found me after the show, snorting in one of the rooms. The look on her face was devastated, I think. I knew she found her mom who was an addict. I guess I didn’t think about what it would do to her when I bought it.”

  I watch his hands grip the steering wheel before he says anything. “What did you do after she found you and left?”

  “I dumped it in the toilet and flushed it. Then found the bar at our hotel. Not the smartest idea. I haven’t been drunk in years. I must have wandered to her hotel room a few hours later. But I thought it was a dream, Z. I woke up and she wasn’t there. There wasn’t any evidence we’d had sex.” I sigh when something occurs to me. “Shit! I…I took her virginity. What if I hurt her? Would she even tell me? Fuck!”

  “Are you finished now? There’s someone waiting for you upstairs.”

  I look out the window to see we’ve pulled into the hotel parking lot and he’s holding a key card out to me.

  “Go, Luk. Talk to her. We’re flying out tonight to hit the studio tomorrow. You have a few days before we need you.”

  I nod and step out of the car.

  I knew this plan wasn’t going to work. Lukus didn’t remember anything from that night.

  Nothing.

  Nada.

  Zip.

  I shouldn’t be mad at him. Logically, I know that. I’d seen his glassed over eyes and smelled the alcohol on his breath. I took advantage when I shouldn’t have. I hadn’t thought about the consequences.

  Never jump into anything head first, baby girl. It’ll never end well.

  I hated when my mother’s statements would come out of nowhere. In this instance, though, she was right. I’d jumped head first into sex with Luk given the opportunity. I hadn’t cared that he would be my first. I wasn’t even nervous about the pain I’d heard so many women talk about. None of that had mattered.

  I’ve been pacing this hotel room for hours, waiting for him to show up. Zane said he’d get him here. I didn’t know how, but he promised me. My first instinct was something’s wrong. I should’ve heard from someone by now.

  I pull out my phone and go to text Trey when a knock comes at the door.

  Opening the door, I find Lukus standing in the hallway wearing his skinny jeans and dark V neck t-shirt from last night. My jaw drops open, and then I snap it shut, covering my mouth with my hand.

  “Haven.”

  “Lukus, how did…I – “ My voice is strained with emotion, my heart hammering in my chest. “You’re here.”

  “I am.” He crosses his arms over his chest and frowns. “You left. Disappeared. I was an ass.”

  I laugh. “I wasn’t going to – this was Trey’s idea.”

  “I was informed.”

  “What?” The shock must show on my face because he smiles.

  “Zane told me once we were close to the exit. I figured out it was a set-up by myself. He just filled in the blanks.”

  I crinkle my forehead. “He wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

  “I don’t think he would have initially. I put most of the pieces together myself, as I said. He couldn’t lie to me after that.”

  “I’m sorry we tricked you.” I stare down at my feet, not able to meet his eyes.

  “I know why you did it, Haven. I know why you acted the way you did yesterday, too. You were hurt because of me. I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention; but I did it, and I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

  I feel the heat rising to my cheeks, my lips curving up into a smile. “Maybe I should…” I shake my head. “Maybe I should have told you the next morning instead of flying home.”

  Lu
kus steps forward, lifting my eyes to meet his. The dark blue is more prominent due to the dark circles under his eyes like he hasn’t got much sleep. “I don’t think that would’ve been a great idea. We had a tour to finish, and I don’t think I would have reacted well to the news.” He sighs. “It wasn’t just about the tour. You’re…innocent, perfect. My angel. I didn’t want to corrupt you, ruin you.”

  One corner of my mouth rises before I can stop it. “Are you calling me innocent when I took advantage of your vulnerable state?”

  He laughs lightly causing a warmth to spread through my chest.

  “I’m telling you that you’re perfect to me. One more thing. Zane mentioned something before we started here.” He struggles with the words for a minute, his jaw straining with tension. “Haven, I might have been high, drunk, and God knows what else that night, but I knew exactly who you were. I thought it was a dream because I had dreamed that exact scenario more times than I probably should admit.”

  “That’s –“ I raise a hand to my mouth again, trying to keep my voice from cracking. “You did?”

  He nods and tears sparkle in his eyes. He doesn’t let them spill over, though. “These last few months have been miserable. I thought I lost you. When Carissa contacted Zane, a spark of hope surfaced that I couldn’t get rid of.”

  A funny expression flashes across his face. “I told her not to call. I’d spoken to them, you know? But I hadn’t told them anything personal.”

  “I know. They wouldn’t give me your number. I was going mad.”

  He cups my jaw in his hand, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “I’m not here to make you feel bad, Haven. I came to apologize for my behavior yesterday.”

  I nod, choking back the sobs clawing up my throat. “I’m sorry, too, Luk. You had every right to know from the moment I found out.”

  He shakes his head before I can even finish the sentence. “Stop. I didn’t want your apology. I understand why you didn’t tell me, let’s leave it at that. I came here to ask you something.”

  My heart leaps into my throat. If he knew how many times I wanted to pick the phone up and call him, apologize for leaving without a trace.

  This isn’t happening. It can’t be. I’m going to wake up and it’ll all have been a dream.

  I almost choke on my words. “Ask away.”

  Lukus steps closer, keeping eye contact, not releasing his hold. “Be mine, pretty girl.”

  I suck in a deep breath. That nickname is how it all started. Now, though, there’s a lot more between us. I grab his arm to steady myself. I jumped in head first, not knowing how hard I would fall, even though I’d fell before that night.

  Lukus’ smile is destroying the walls I’d built around myself. All my defenses were weakened with him standing so close. I can’t form words.

  I throw my arms around his neck, pulling his face toward mine, and kiss him with everything I have. Everything I am.

  I finally pull back and suck in a breath. Lukus lays his forehead against mine. “Don’t ever leave me again, pretty girl. I can’t go another day without you with me.”

  I grin, and then he’s kissing me again and I’m lost.

  Lukus’ phone rings with Trey’s ringtone and he pulls back. “Damn it, he has horrible timing.”

  I laugh while he answers, not removing his hands from my waist.

  “Bro, always call at the worst time. Leave us alone, I’ll call you later.”

  He tosses his phone to the top of the dresser and stalks toward me. He’s the predator and I’m the prey.

  Trey doesn’t get a callback.

  One Year Later

  I step into the house quietly. We had to be at the studio before the sun was even up to finish our song selection for the album. I’ve spent more time there then home lately, and it’s made me feel worthless.

  I head up the stairs, checking the nursery first. Haven’s sitting in the rocking chair, eyes meeting mine when I walk in.

  “How’re my two favorite girls?” I lean down to kiss her forehead.

  “You have more girls I don’t know about?”

  There’s a smirk on her face and I laugh. “Of course not. You two are all I need.” I step back while she finishes feeding Avery. Haven had carried her eight days after her due date, and the doctor finally scheduled a caesarian section. I had never been so scared in my life than I was in that moment.

  Everything had gone smoothly, though, and Avery Lynn was born. It had been a month since then, and she still didn’t have a normal schedule.

  I’ve been in the studio with Trey every day before sunrise, and most days I don’t get home until long after the sun goes down. I look closely at Haven, spotting the dark circles around her bloodshot eyes.

  “Pretty girl, let me have Avery today and you go take a nap.”

  She opens her mouth to say something, and I think she’s going to protest, but instead, she hands our daughter over, kisses my cheek, and disappears down the hall.

  I stare down into Avery’s face. “You’ve been keeping mommy busy, haven’t you baby girl?” I kiss her forehead and lay her in the crib. “We’re going to let her rest today. You're stuck with Daddy.”

  I check the baby monitor and head to our bedroom. We bought this house a week after Carissa had contacted Zane. Haven argued it was too much, but my argument won out, saying we would need the room for the baby. She fell in love with it the moment she stepped through the door.

  Haven’s curled up on our bed, her Kindle in her hands. “I thought you’d be asleep already.”

  A small smile tilts her lips at the corners. “I probably should take a nap before dinner later. Have you heard back from everyone?”

  I shake my head, and I know I’m frowning. “Nope. Bryce wasn’t at the studio this morning. I mean, it isn’t necessary for him to be there, but he hasn’t been showing up. Zane doesn’t know anything, and Bryce has been quiet lately. Have you talked to him?”

  She lays her Kindle on the mattress between us, reaching for her phone on the nightstand. “I texted him earlier, but I don’t know if he answered. I left my phone in here.”

  I watch her eyebrows draw together as she swipes at her screen. She types something on her phone, then meets my gaze.

  “We’ll need an extra seat for dinner. A high chair. Bryce is bringing his daughter.”

  I try to watch for any indication that she’s fucking with me, but there is none. Her face is serious and concerned.

  “What the fuck?”

  “Luk, don’t go on a rampage. He’ll talk to one of us when he’s ready. There’s obviously enough going on without you stressing him out.”

  I sigh and close my eyes, breathing deeply. I know she’s right, but something that huge affects everyone, not just Bryce. We’re a family, we stick together. “I’ll leave it alone for now. But if he doesn’t talk after tonight, he’s going to have some answering to do.”

  Haven leans in and kisses me, pulling my face toward hers. Do it now before you chicken out. My heart is on board, beating erratically, but my mind hasn’t caught up with the plan.

  I pull back from the kiss and leap off the bed. I go into my closet, finding the small gift I’d placed there a few months ago.

  “Luk, what’s wrong? Did you lose something?”

  I re-enter our bedroom, a small smile playing on my lips.

  “No, I didn’t lose anything.”

  Her nose wrinkles. “Then what were – “

  I step up beside the bed, staring down at her. “There’s something I needed to do before tonight.”

  I pull her up to stand beside the bed, a grin on her face. I drop to one knee and her hand covers her mouth.

  “You’re a mother now,” I start, and my throat tightens. Keep going, you can do this. “We’re beginning something new, learning together. But there’s one thing I want you to be, that I hope you want, too. Haven, will you be mine for the rest of our lives? Will you marry me?”

  She grabs my shirt with both hands, pulli
ng me to my feet, and kissing me. I step back and slide the ring onto her finger.

  “I’d never want to be anything else but yours, Luk.” There’s a light in her eyes that’s entirely different than anything I’ve ever seen on her face before.

  “You’re mine, Haven. And soon, there’ll be nothing you can do to change that.”

  She leans against me, wrapping her arms around my neck. The whisper in my ear sends goosebumps up my spine. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

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  Turn the page for a teaser from Sing to My Heart, featuring Carissa and Bryce.

  Chaos Series

  Tune My Heart - Lukus and Haven

  Sing to My Heart - Bryce and Carissa

  Play to My Heart - Trey and Taryn

  Beat of My Heart - Zane and Celia

  If someone would’ve told me six months ago that I’d be raising a daughter on my own, I would have kicked their ass. Unfortunately, sleepless nights are a norm around my apartment, and the dark circles under my eyes are proof of that. When I’d hooked up with Tara, this hadn’t been the plan.

  It was precisely why I don’t date – ever. Sex is available wherever I go. A short-term goal that both parties understand before it happens. Long-term goals weren’t a part of my mindset. At least they hadn’t been. Now, I don’t have a choice.

  Tara hadn’t asked for money when she found out she was pregnant. She hadn’t wanted me around her, let alone supporting her, and she’d agreed to a DNA test once the baby was born before I did anything.

  Ninety-nine-point-nine percent accurate. The numbers were a blessing and a curse. I had never wanted a family. The band was my family, had been for years. Marriage and kids hadn’t been in my future. Finding out that Hailey was my daughter – indescribable. I’d never loved anyone in my life, and the feeling I got the moment I held her can never be replaced.