Every Step of the Way: (Smugglers Cove #1)

by Anna Lindgren

  “Sorry,” I whisper bumbling my way through others.

  I pace the cabin quarters and start knocking on doors, one by one. This is ridiculous. She’s nowhere on this boat.

  What if she changed her mind and got off the boat? The thought barrels through my mind. I burst through the doors that lead to the outside deck and stand facing town. I search the parking lot but don’t see her anywhere.

  She’s here. I know it.

  There’s only one spot left I haven’t checked, the top deck solarium. I don’t know why I hadn’t thought of it sooner. Cammie always said she was a water person.

  She’s the only one crazy enough to stand outside in this monsoon, I smile as hope fills me. I run up the stairs two at a time and bust through the door. Once I’m outside, I tread more carefully on the slippery deck. I look around the empty solarium as I move around the stern of the boat.

  There.

  I stop dead in my tracks, my heart slows its thundering once my eyes rest along Cammie’s back. She’s standing beneath harsh weather, standing out from underneath the awning. She clasps her hands against the white railing and lifts her head toward the sky. Her soft skin is pelted with drops of rain.

  I approach her slowly, admiring her profile, her pale, soft skin and brown hair billowing in the breeze. I see her eyes pinched shut and tears streaming into raindrops as they trail down her cheeks. I watch her a moment longer before I reach my hand out and clasp it around hers. She startles with a jump but when her eyes rest on me, I know I’ve got her.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” I ask, emotion riddling my voice as I pull her toward me.

  She hesitates momentarily but crashes into me, relaxing her body against mine. She sobs against my chest, wrapping her fingers into my sweatshirt and I kiss along her dark hair, listening to her breath hitch in her throat.

  “I’m sorry,” she whimpers, and the sound of her pain nearly breaks me.

  I try to speak but the words won’t come, instead I wrap my arms tighter around her, securing her against me, knowing if she’s going to leave, we will at least have this last moment together. I’ll hold her knowing this is the last time I’ll have the privilege to do so. I stroke along her back and reassure her it’s okay, even though it doesn’t feel that way.

  She pulls away from me, my arms still resting around her waist. “What are you doing here?”

  I stare down at her before speaking. “I told you, I don’t give up easily.”

  This earns me a smile and a shake of her head.

  “Don’t go with him. Don’t leave me here without you,” I begin to speak soft and low. “I want to wake up with you each morning. I want to be scolded by you every day if it means I get to spend those days loving you.” I wipe a strand of hair from her alabaster skin. “I want to be the reason you smile at the end of a long, ruthless day. I want to break down your walls one by one, Cammie. I will work to unburden you of those fears of yours. Let me, Cammie.” I plead. “Let me love you like you deserve to be loved.”

  “Jake,” she whispers with relief, and my heart sinks into my chest. She latches onto my sweatshirt once more and pulls her head to rest against my chest. I place a soft, lingering kiss to the top of her head.

  I try to reassure myself I’ll be okay, that I’ll be fine… but it’s a bald-faced lie. I can’t picture a life without Cammie that isn’t dull and gray. She adds the color to my days and a light to my darkest hours.

  She looks back up toward me, tears returning to her eyes. She tries to speak, but her voice breaks. Her cheeks flush with embarrassment as she shakes her head and clears her throat. “I chose you,” she says, the words crash through me causing me to stumble backwards. She tilts her lips in a brief smile, “I’d never not choose you.”

  I stare at her, frozen, absorbing the rollercoaster of emotions. When I can’t speak, she wraps her arms around my neck and lifts herself onto her toes, whispering into my ear, “I’m going to spend the rest of my days loving you.”

  At those words, I crash against her pressing my lips to hers. She returns the kiss, and deepens it by letting me inside. I lift her up into my arms and spin her around the wet deck in the middle of this godforsaken rainstorm. Water splashes around my feet as I twirl Cammie around, her laughter consuming every part of me.

  “I’m never letting you leave again,” I say matter-of-factly, my lips still pressed to hers.

  “Good,” she says, pressing her lips to mine. “We should go inside, I’m soaked.”

  I smile. “You said you always liked water.”

  She laughs, and I’ve come to realize her laughter is the music to my soul, unlocking every emotion inside me. My chest eases with relief as I set her feet back to the ground.

  “Don’t leave me again,” I say with fervor. My hand reaching out for hers.

  She places her hand in mine, speaking softly. “I won’t. I promise.”

  “Can I take you home?” I ask, placing our intertwined fingers around Cammie’s shoulder.

  She nods with an eager smile, one where her bottom lip becomes sucked between her teeth.

  “Hilary is going to be so upset when she doesn’t get her place all to herself.” She laughs at the thought.

  “I seriously doubt it,” I say as we walk back inside. I pull her around to look at me, “but if it’s a problem… then you move in with me.”

  “What?” she asks, looking taken aback. “You can’t be serious.”

  “I am so incredibly head-over-heels-in-love-with-you serious,” I say, placing kisses against her soft skin.

  She tosses her arms around my neck once more and presses her body flush against mine. I cup her jaw with my hand and tilt her to where I can search her pale-blue eyes up close.

  “I missed you,” she whispers, and I kiss away the feeling, letting her know I am right here and have no plans of ever going anywhere else. She is my home. Wherever she goes, I’ll go with her.

  We ride the ferry into Ketchikan and take the return back to Smuggler’s Cove. We spend the day talking about our future together, playing card games, watching movies, and eating food in the cafeteria.

  “You always have to get the specials. They are the best on the menu,” I expertly note as Cammie scans the menu in line for food.

  “Is that so?” She looks up at me with skepticism.

  I nod in response. “Oh, yeah. All the locals know that.”

  “Well, in that case,” she says, ordering her chicken enchiladas.

  “I’ll get the same,” I say to the cook and then wait as he dishes it up.

  We get our food and walk toward the cashier. I whip my card out to pay before Cammie can object. I thank the cashier, and we make our way to find a table in the back of the cafeteria by the window.

  “You know what? I think this is our first official date,” I say with a smirk.

  “How do you figure?” she says, taking a bite of her lunch.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever taken you out for a meal,” I say, noting the significance of the occasion.

  She scoffs. “So all I have to do is run away and wait for you to come track me down for you to buy me food and take me on a real date?” She smiles and I find myself laughing along with the banter.

  “Apparently,” I say, tossing my hands up with a shrug.

  “You know what?” I lean in to keep my voice low; Cammie follows suit, matching my body language. “Sounds like you are a little high maintenance.”

  She leans back, laughing, as she tosses several tortilla chips in my direction. “I’m just surprised you think this is our first date,” she says with her eyebrows raised.

  “What would you say was our first date?” I ask, genuinely interested.

  “Hmm….” She thinks on it for a moment, tapping her finger against her full lips. “I would say the night we went out fishing with Hilary and Ryan.”

  “Really?” I say, shocked. “I thought you couldn’t stand me.”

  “Oh, I couldn’t.” She shakes her hea
d wildly. “It didn’t mean you weren’t the sexiest man I had ever laid eyes on,” she says with a wicked grin.

  I bite my bottom lip, trying to ease the sexual tension that builds easily between Cammie and me. I smile, teeth still sunken into my lip, and nod in agreement.

  “I think… Our very first date…” I watch as her eyes pique with interest. I pause for dramatic effect, which results in more chips being thrown my direction. “Was when Alan almost ran you over in your kayak.” I take a large bite of enchilada, smiling an even larger grin.

  “Oh, is that so?” she says, laughing so hard her face flushes.

  “Mhm,” I say, wiping my face. “When you flipped me off—both hands, in case you forgot,” this earns me another roar of laughter. People have started to stare over at us, and I couldn’t care less. All I care about is making this woman sitting across from me the happiest person on the planet.

  “I knew then and there. That”—I point at her and swallow before speaking again—“That is the woman I am going to spend the rest of my life with.”

  She stills in her seat, looking over at me, her expression full of emotion and depth. The thought of how close I came to losing her barrels through me once more. Her bottom lip begins to quiver, and her blue eyes turn bluer against her tearstained face. She stands up and slides into the booth, sitting next to me. She leans her head against my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her.

  “I love you,” she whispers, and I nod, feeling her hand graze across my chest, her ear listening to the hammering of my heartbeat. I kiss the top of her head. She raises her head to look up at me, and before she can speak, she turns toward the window and shouts, “Tail!”

  Sure enough, a humpback whale has flipped its tail up out of the water about two hundred yards from the boat and is slapping it repeatedly against the surface of the ocean.

  She looks back at me with the largest grin, her eyes bulging with excitement, and sees me shaking my head back and forth with disappointment.

  “What?” Is all she says.

  “You’ll see,” I whisper and tuck her in close against my chest.

  Unfortunately, Cammie’s about to learn the difficult lesson of playing this game on the ferry. Within a moment, we are pressed in from all angles as people push themselves against the window, hoping for a view of the whales. This sensation has always felt like being stuffed into a can of sardines.

  The remainder of the ferry ride home is spent admiring the whales breaching, feeding, and playing with one another. Cammie and I spend most of the ride outside seated on the orange life-jacket totes, sitting and pointing out every breach. Each time a whale surfaces and we think it will dive deep, one or both of us shout, “tail.”

  My favorite part is when Cammie guesses wrong and the tail never surfaces. I am sitting front row to a show of expletives which I guess works to our advantage; no one wants to sit by us with her constantly shouting curse words.

  I just laugh and look up at her in awe, unable to keep my body from touching hers. My foot rests against hers, our legs touch, my arm brushes her shoulder, we hold hands, I tuck her against me with my arm wrapped around her.

  I had a glimpse of what this life would be like without her, I have no interest in experiencing the feeling again. Instead, I’m going to do my best to keep her close. Be the person she needs while she works through all of her fears, anxieties, and worries. I’m not going anywhere. There isn’t anything she can do to push me away.

  I look over at her and wipe a piece of her hair from her face. She turns toward me and smiles, kissing gently against my wrist as I cup her face. I give a half-smile, shaking my head at how lucky I am. I see a question rise across her face, but before she can speak, I kiss her—again.

  Whatever her question is, my answer will always be the same. That she is mine, and I am hers. Together, we’ll learn to weather the storm.

  Twenty-Six

  Cammie

  We make it back to Smuggler’s Cove, and let me say, I was only gone a few hours, but it feels so good to be home. The sun has started to peak through the clouds, highlighting the colorful buildings and the boardwalk through town as the ferry docks.

  We walk off the ramp, hand in hand, before Alan draws our attention. He calls out to Jake and gives him a cocky grin before saluting him.

  “He sure seems happy,” I say to Jake.

  “Yeah, I sold my soul.” He says with defeat.

  I giggle in response. “What do you mean you sold your soul?”

  “I needed to get on the ferry. I was late, so he told me the only way he could get me on was if I looked the other way on his building permit.” My heart fills with adoration for this man, he’s straight as an arrow, follows every rule in the book, it must have killed him to give Alan a shortcut.

  I look over at Alan who is busy, working away. “I’ll take care of it,” I say, patting Jake on his chest, reassuring him we are in this together. I figure once I threaten Alan’s alcohol intake at the Fish House, he won’t be causing any more trouble for Jake. My guess is he’ll back down pretty quickly and follow the appropriate action steps Jake and Ryan have outlined for him.

  We hop in Jake’s truck, and I ask him to drop me by my place first so I can see Hilary. He smiles over at me. “She was a mess this morning when I called her.”

  “You called her?”

  “Yeah, you weren’t picking up, so I had to ask her if it was true. That you were leaving.” He says as we pull up out front of my place.

  I open the truck door and walk through the gate, noticing Ryan’s truck parked in the driveway. I walk up the pathway but am stopped as the front door flings open.

  “Cammie,” Hilary shouts and runs toward me, lurching towards me. “You brought her home,” she says over my shoulder toward Jake.

  I pull back and see Jake standing with his hands in his pockets, nodding, his familiar boyish grin across his face.

  Hilary’s face is red and puffy from crying. “I’m so glad you came back,” she says, wiping a tear off her cheek.

  “Me too,” I say, starting to tear up alongside her.

  Ryan comes out of the door and down the stairs. He embraces both Hilary and me into a big bear hug.

  “Glad to have you home,” his burly voice booms with a chuckle.

  He moves toward Jake to help unpack my suitcase and backpack. I notice him clasp an arm to Jake’s shoulder, and their exchange is subtle but filled with love.

  Hilary looks up at me with excitement brimming her eyes. “Does this mean we get to keep being roomies?”

  “Yes,” I say with a smile.

  She turns toward the door, grabbing me by my hand to walk inside. “This calls for celebration!” she says authoritatively.

  I comply as I follow her up the path. “Fair warning, the place is a mess. My last roommate was quite a pig,” she grins over her shoulder.

  “Oh, is that so?” I say, tsking at the audacity.

  “Yeah, I haven’t gotten around to cleaning it. I’ve practically made a shrine in here.” I erupt with laughter as she continues. “Feels like it was only this morning that the bitch finally left.”

  Hilary grabs a bottle of Cook’s champagne and pops the cork on the patio. She isn’t lying when she says we’d be celebrating. The four of us sit around as the sun continues to shine across the sky, and enjoy one another’s company.

  “I need to ask Jace and Tommy for my jobs back,” I say, pulling out my phone to shoot off a text.

  “No need,” Hilary says as she swallows a gulp of champagne. “I already texted them and said you were back.”

  “What?” I ask. “When? I’ve been sitting with you the whole time.”

  “Right when you pulled up,” she says, nonchalant.

  Ryan clears his throat. “Actually, I think it went more something like this.” He pitches his voice several octaves higher as he imitates Hilary. “Ryan, Ryan! Holy shit! She’s back.” He dramatically wipes fake tears from his cheeks. “Text Jace! And Tommy! Let the
whole fucking town know she’s back! She needs her job! Tell them, Ryan, tell them!” He stands, flapping his arms in the air like a bird trying to fly.

  I spit a gulp of champagne out with laughter, tears streaming down my cheeks. I look over at Hilary who sips her drink, unimpressed.

  “I don’t sound like that,” she says into her glass, raising her eyebrows.

  “Oh, come on,” Ryan says as he leans over and places a kiss against her forehead. “I’m just teasing you.”

  She smiles up at him, and suddenly, I realize something must be going on between the two of them. I catch Hilary’s gaze and waggle my eyebrows. She waves me off and gives me a look that says we’ll talk about this later.

  “Anyway,” Hilary reels the conversation back in. “You have your jobs back.”

  “Thank you,” I say, cheersing her across the patio.

  “You’re welcome.” She smiles. “But if you leave again, I am seriously going to have to reconsider our friendship.”

  I tilt my head back with laughter. “Deal.”

  “I think I could get in on that deal as well,” Jake says, reaching for my hand and placing a gentle kiss on my wrist.

  “If I leave, I expect you to come with me,” I say and watch his shy smile grow.

  After the bottle of champagne is drained, we decide to head out. We say our goodbyes, and I tell Hilary I’ll be home tomorrow to unpack. She smiles and waves as we pull away. I turn to Jake and ask if we can stop by his mom’s house on our way to his place. He doesn’t ask questions, just nods in his agreement.

  We pull up out front, and I see Chester and Grace sitting in a chair on the porch. She smiles when she sees Jake’s truck pull in, but she beams when she sees me get out of the passenger seat.

  “Cammie,” she says, coming to a stand and walking toward me. I jog to get to her quicker. I wrap my arms around her and hear her whisper, “I always knew you’d come back.”