by Helen Lacey
Once he disappeared through the back door, Tess let out a long sigh. Act normal. Do nothing. It sounded easy. Not as easy as leaving. But there really wasn’t any point to that since she still had to maintain a civil relationship with Mitch because of their baby. Loving him wasn’t the point. Raising their child together was all that mattered. She could love him and not be with him. Plenty of divorced couples still had feelings for one another. She’d seen the evidence firsthand at parent-teacher discussions over the years. Sometimes divorce was about chronic incompatibility and nothing to do with the depth of feeling. She could be a statistic if it meant her child had two parents who respected one another.
With that in mind, she decided to take his brother’s advice and do nothing.
Which was surprisingly easy.
By Wednesday she had her routine down to an art. She prepared his meals, but got Mrs. Bailey to take them upstairs. She let him dress himself, but folded his laundry and left it on the edge of the bed every night while he was asleep. She kept up his pain meds on the bedside table and took daily photos of Chica’s foal and sent them to his phone. She met daily with Wes and Ellie to make sure the ranch was running smoothly, and was amazed at how easily she slipped back into life on the Triple C. The next Alvarez foal had been born without complications on Wednesday, and she was delighted to have been able to witness the birth. The colt was strong and healthy, and Alvarez had insisted on first option when the foal was ready for sale.
“So, everything going well?”
Annie’s question wasn’t unexpected. Her sister had arrived after lunch and they were talking over sodas in the kitchen. “As well as could be expected.”
“Are you still hiding out?”
“I’m not hiding,” she said. “Simply keeping a low profile.”
Annie grinned. “Is it working?”
“We haven’t had an argument for days, so that’s an improvement.”
Her sister chuckled. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.”
“I’m pretty sure all I’m doing is making Mitch madder than hell,” she said.
“How long is Jake staying?” Annie asked, one brow up.
Tess shrugged. “That’s anyone’s guess. Knowing Jake, he’ll ride off on his hog in the middle of the night and then disappear for a few years.”
“David thinks he’ll hang around until Mitch is back on his feet,” Annie mused, and sipped her soda. “Said something about him wanting to reconnect with the family. But, like you said, knowing Jake that doesn’t seem likely.”
She was about to reply when Ellie came into the room. “Great,” the younger woman said to them both. “I have everything arranged for Saturday. The shower will start at one o’clock and go until four. I’ve had most of the RSVPs back with a yes. Your mom can’t make it, but she said to say that she and your dad,” Ellie said, and looked toward Annie, “will definitely be here for Thanksgiving. Which is great because I’m planning a big family dinner right here, and this year you can do the turkey because you’re a way better cook than me and I know Mrs. B has shown you her secret pear-and-pecan stuffing recipe.”
Tess smiled. Ellie’s enthusiasm for the holidays was infectious, and she had so many wonderful memories of the festive season from when she had lived at the ranch. “Sounds fabulous.”
She stayed in the kitchen with Annie and Ellie for another half an hour, talking about everything from the baby shower to Christmas to more family events that felt bittersweet to Tess. Who knew how Mitch would feel about her coming around for those—if he would even want her around?
Afterward she braced herself and headed upstairs. Mitch was awake and watching television. She remained in the doorway and spoke.
“I just wanted to let you know that Ellie has planned the baby shower here for Saturday.”
He looked up and she noticed that he needed a haircut. “I’m not sure why you’re telling me,” he said, and focused his attention back to the screen. “You seem to do whatever you want around here.”
Tess lingered in the doorway, ignoring the fact that he only wore a white tank shirt and a pair of dark cotton boxers. It was warm in the room and the heater was on, which was no doubt why he was half-naked. It took all of Tess’s resolve to keep her eyes averted.
“Just keeping you in the loop,” she said, and smiled. “Ellie’s very excited.”
“Delighted to see things are running so smoothly without me.”
He still wasn’t looking at her. Still looked as mad as thunder.
“The new foals are doing well.”
“Yeah,” he said flatly. “I got your pictures.”
“Do you need anything?”
“To get out of this bed and get my life back.”
Tess stepped into the room. He still had over four weeks until the cast came off, although the rest of his injuries were healing well. His eye had improved and she suspected his ribs were also on the mend.
“You seem to be getting around much better.”
“Yeah,” he said again, staring at the television. “I can get to the bathroom by myself and everything. It’s quite an accomplishment.”
“I see you’ve adopted the minimal clothes rule?”
He didn’t flinch. “Saves anyone the trouble of having to undress and dress me. Since my nurse appears to be on strike.”
“Your nurse was fired,” she said, and managed a smile.
He turned his head and met her gaze. “What do you want, Tess?”
“Simply checking in.”
“I have enough people checking up on me already. Ellie’s here every chance she gets. Jake drops in every hour. Grant says he’s taking some time off work so he can stay for a while to keep me company. But I haven’t seen you for days. If you have something to say, then say it.”
“I’ve been—”
“Slipping into the room unnoticed while I’m asleep and leaving clothes on the end of the bed. I could be blind, deaf and mute and still know you were near me. That’s the thing about knowing someone intimately, Tess,” he said, his green eyes glittering brilliantly. “It doesn’t matter how far apart or how close we are, that connection will always be there.”
Her throat ached at his words. “I know.”
“How’s your belly?”
She stepped forward. “Growing. I have a doctor’s appointment at the community hospital tomorrow. You know, to check out the birthing suite there. Annie’s coming with me.” She added, “I wish you could be there. I’ll send you some pictures.”
“How long do you plan on staying here?”
“As long as you want me to.”
“I don’t want you.”
Tess was hurt by his quick response, but she wasn’t ready to let him off the hook. “I think you do.”
“You know what I’m thinking now?”
“I’d like to,” she said rawly. “If you’ll tell me.”
“I tried that already,” he said swiftly. “You weren’t interested.”
“You said you still loved me,” she reminded him.
“I know what I said.”
Tess looked at him, trying to find something in his expression that indicated he really wanted her to stay.
Because she knew one undeniable fact—she loved him. Still. She’d never stopped. He was the sun to her moon. The air to her lungs. The earth to her feet. And time apart had only amplified that feeling. She was a fool to imagine that love as strong and intense as she’d felt for him would simply fade.
But loving was the easy part.
Forgiving was hard.
Yet, she knew she could. Because, despite what he was saying to her now, they belonged together. With their son. As a family. Mitch had the good sense to see it. Tess realized she’d been living the last few weeks with blinkers on, so wrapped up in resenting him for what had happened in the past that she was
blinded from seeing good sense and reason. She did now, and she knew what she wanted. All she had to do was make Mitch see it, too.
“I still love you, too.”
He looked away. “Go home, Tess.”
There was nothing in his expression that even suggested he was prepared to meet her in the middle. But she wasn’t about to concede defeat easily. “You really want me to go?”
He sighed impatiently. “Just to prolong the inevitable? You have your nice little house on Mustang Street, Tess. Surely you want to get back to it?”
“What I want,” she said determinedly, “is for you to stop treating me like I’m the enemy.”
“I’m not treating you like you’re anything,” he said. “Just as you wanted.”
Tess inhaled and glared at him “Really? Now you’re behaving like a spoiled child.”
He laughed. “That’s the damnable thing about you, Tess. When I wanted you to come back, I was behaving like a controlling jerk. When I said I still loved you, it didn’t matter. Now that I want you to go, I’m a spoiled child. There’s simply no winning with you, is there?”
She sucked in a sharp breath. No winning? Is that what he believed? That she was unbending and had unrealistic expectations? Of him alone? Or of everyone? Had she always been that way? Was she that kind of child? Is that why her mother made sure she had the right shoes and music lessons and a car by her sixteenth birthday? Because her expectations were so high? Was she that wrapped up in herself, that self-absorbed?
Tess stared at the man she loved. Even bedridden and out of action, he was still the most resilient person she had ever known. Even at his weakest, he remained the strongest.
She shuddered. “I want to stay. I love you and I want to be here with you.”
“No, you don’t. That’s just duty talking. Save it,” he said. “It’s not duty I want, Tess. For the last time, go home.”
* * *
Tess didn’t go home. She stayed. Admittedly, she left him alone. But he heard her. And felt her. And could smell the scent of her fragrance even though she didn’t come into the room.
On Saturday, the house was overrun by women. He wasn’t invited to the baby shower and didn’t want to be. Well, not exactly. But since it was his child they were celebrating, he did experience a feeling of exclusion as he heard the celebrating going on downstairs. There was laughter and glasses clinking and sounds that were clearly about having a whole lot of fun. Grant dropped by and they spent an hour or so talking, and Mitch deliberately avoided mentioning Tess. When his brother left, Mitch grabbed his laptop and did some admin work, trying to take his mind off the party downstairs.
Ellie came upstairs in the afternoon and gave him a plate piled with cake, ignoring his protest about not wanting anything, prattling on about how the day had gone exactly as she’d planned.
“You should see the cute little baseball mitt that Annie gave Tess. And Lucy gave this huge basket of...”
Mitch vaguely listened as his sister spoke, but he was touched that Ellie was so excited about the baby coming. He was excited, too. And he felt guilty he hadn’t allowed himself to enjoy that excitement in the last few weeks. His son would be born in a couple of months and he had a whole lot of things he needed to do before then. Get the nursery ready, for one. Work out a schedule for himself, maybe hire a nanny. He knew he would need some help. He didn’t doubt that Mrs. B would help, but she had enough to do running the house and feeding the ranch hands every day.
Maybe Winona Sheehan could help, he mused. She’d make a good babysitter for those times he was working. He’d have to run the idea by Tess first. Phase one of their co-parenting plan, he figured. Things seemed calm on that front, at least. She’d sent him pictures from her appointment at the hospital, just a couple of snaps of the room and the amenities. He was grateful for the inclusion and it diluted his resentment a little. Maybe more than a little. He knew they needed to talk, knew they had things to work out, feelings to discuss, but every time they were together all they did was argue.
My fault...
The acknowledgment cut deep. He knew she’d been trying to reconnect, to forge a truce, to make them allies instead of enemies. Mitch also knew he’d been biting her head off nonstop since the accident. But he wasn’t going to lay his heart on the line anymore. She’d made her thoughts about the two of them abundantly clear. Still...he didn’t enjoy being a mean-spirited jerk. That wasn’t his nature. Neither was dwelling on all he’d lost like a lovesick fool. But hearing her say she still loved him was like a stab in his heart. Too little, too late. He didn’t want her out of guilt.
It was after four when Tess came upstairs, her arms laden with gifts. She didn’t ask if he wanted to see them—she simply laid the items out on the bed and then held up a cute onesie with World’s Cutest Kid written on the front.
“Did you have a good day?”
She nodded. “Perfect. It was so good to celebrate the baby with people I care about. Ellie is such a wonderful sister-in-law and—”
“Ex,” he reminded her, and flicked through a bath-time book that had pictures of sea animals in it. He determinedly ignored the hurt that flickered across her face.
“How was your day?” she asked.
Mitch waved a hand in an arc. “Living the dream.”
“You could have come to the baby shower,” she said and smiled. “This is your baby, too.”
Unexpectedly she sat on the bed, her pale blue overalls accentuating her middle. She had a sunflower painted on her cheek, and when he looked at it, she smiled.
“Leah did some face painting,” she said, and her smile broadened.
Leah, an artist, was David’s half sister, born to Sandra and Ivan Petrovic.
“Cute,” he said.
“It’s about as close to a tattoo as I’ll ever get,” she said idly, perusing the items on the bed. “You know me, sensible and staid schoolteacher.”
The mood between them was lighthearted and one he wanted to continue. “I always liked that sensible part of you,” he said, and dropped the book.
She chuckled. “I thought you would prefer someone with a bit of a wild side.”
“Seriously? Why would you think that?”
“Because I’m boring and set in my ways,” she replied, and then sighed. “And unforgiving.”
She was. But, he suspected, so was he. It was a wall built over years of having to be responsible for everyone and everything. “And your own worst critic,” he remarked, reaching out to push back a lock of her hair and tuck it behind her ear. “I’ve never wanted you to be anything other than who you are.”
She met his gaze. “Even though I wanted you to be different?”
“Even then.”
She sighed, her breath warm against his hand. “And not that I really wanted you to change. Just to be more...more...in the moment.”
“Like now?” he asked as he cupped her cheek.
Her eyes widened. “What are you doing?”
“You have cake icing on your lip.” He brushed his thumb against her mouth. “I thought I’d remove it for you.”
“You told Ellie you didn’t want cake,” she reminded him.
“I do when it’s right here,” he said, and leaned a little, ignoring the pain in his ribs, ignoring everything except how soft and welcoming her mouth was beneath his own.
He’d never get enough of tasting her lips, of being with her like this, just the two of them. Three, he corrected and gently laid his free hand on her belly. The baby moved and the moment was excruciatingly intimate. Her tongue touched his and she deepened the kiss, moving closer. Her hand rested gently on his shoulder and was then in his hair. Her touch was like a tonic and he’d been starved of it for too long. She moaned a little, fueling his desire, and Mitch ignored the pain in his chest and the sudden ache in his heart.
“I really,” he whi
spered against her ear, “really want to make love to you right now.”
She pulled back a little, biting her bottom lip, threading her fingers through his hair in a way that was torturous. “Really?”
Mitch took a long breath and kissed her cheek. “Really. Only, I’m not sure my busted ribs would be up for it.”
She swiveled, propping up on her knees. “We could improvise,” she said, and touched his chest, tracing her fingertips down his pectorals, lingering on his rib cage. “If you want.”
“If I want,” he mused, and curled a hand around her nape, drawing her mouth close. “I want you.”
“I should probably lock the door, so we’re not interrupted.”
It took her about two minutes to pack up all the baby items on the bed, place them on the dresser and lock the door. She returned to the bed, and for the following hour they went on a slow and erotic journey of rediscovery. The last time they’d made love, it had been about heat and sweat and intense physical need and pleasure. This was different. This was about their deep emotional connection, about the years they were together, the years they were apart. The touching, the tasting, the pleasure... None of it would have meant anything if they were strangers or merely casual lovers. Once she was naked she straddled him, taking him deep inside her, her hands linked with his, and she moved...slowly. So slowly it was absolute and aching torture. When he sensed she was near release, he grasped her hips and moved her back and forth in a gentle rhythm. She came apart, moaning his name, sending him over the edge with her.
Afterward she grabbed one of his shirts hanging over the chair and slipped into it, finding a spot on the bed and curling against him.
“Wow,” she said softly. “That was something.”
“It’s always something,” he said softly, rubbing her arm.
“I know.” She sighed. “So, it seems your ribs are healing okay, after all.”
He chuckled. “Well, having you naked and on top of me is quite the motivation to ignore a few cracked ribs.”
She gave a sexy groan and curved closer. “Such resilience.”
