by Helen Lacey
Mitch stilled instantly. “Is that what I do?”
“Always,” Joss said. “Damn annoying at times. But we’re used to your high road. Did you really threaten to have a vasectomy so Tess wouldn’t get pregnant again?”
He shrugged. “It was a tough time.”
“That’s why she left?” Grant asked, frowning deeply. “She wanted a baby and you said you wouldn’t give her one? I always thought you’d screwed up, but I didn’t imagine it was by doing something so damned selfish. Not surprising she walked out.”
Mitch stared at his brother and guilt pressed down on his shoulders. And shame. Because his brother was right. He had been selfish. My wife wanted a child. I said no. And suddenly, as hard as he tried, Mitch couldn’t articulate one good reason other than the obvious for being so pigheaded all those years ago. Because he was selfish. And used to getting his own way. According to his rationale, she’d behaved unreasonably and hadn’t believed their marriage was enough to make them happy. Her wanting a child, after losing so many, had been like a slap in the face to everything they did have. That’s why he’d said he would have a vasectomy—to make her see sense. To get his own way. To be in control.
And when she returned to Cedar River, pregnant with his child, he wanted to be in control again. Her refusal to get married was another slap in the face, another reminder that they’d lost everything they’d once had. And another reminder of his failure as a husband, a father, protector and as a man.
It hurt. A lot.
So did her sudden turnaround after the accident. Because he didn’t want her out of guilt or pity or duty. Except, she’d said she loved him. And he was scared to believe her because he loved her with such aching intensity that the thought of losing her again scared him through to his bones.
He stared at Jake. “I do love her.”
“Yes,” Jake said quickly. “We all know that. You’re the best man I know, Mitch, and we all admire you for everything you’ve done for us over the years. But if you let Tess walk out of your life, then what the hell is wrong with you?”
Mitch looked at his brothers, listening to them all as in turn they voiced their opinions about his behavior toward Tess, and about his controlling ways, and how much he believed he knew everything about everyone and had unrealistic expectations of those he loved. He looked at Tess’s stepdad and saw the older man’s disappointment. He saw his best friend, David, looking as though he knew exactly what he was thinking.
Right. So, he was an overbearing and impossible to please.
And he laughed. Loudly. Once he’d finished laughing, his brothers and the others were all watching him incredulously. And clearly waiting for his next move.
“And now that you’ve all finished playing Cupid and judge and jury,” he said, and placed his hands on the chair wheels, “if you’ll excuse me, I think I need to go and apologize.”
Jake was grinning. “Hallelujah. Go fix it.”
When Mitch wheeled into the kitchen, he saw Mrs. B behind the counter, Ellie cutting up pumpkin, Annie decorating a cake and Tess’s mother clipping beans. Tess was by the table, mixing something in a bowl. She looked so damned beautiful she took his breath away. She wore a blue denim dress, dark tights and a pale cardigan. Her hair was up in a clip and her bangs fell across her forehead. Her belly was rounded and an intense sense of love washed over him. He’d never, in all his life, tire of looking at her. He cleared his throat and they all looked toward the doorway.
“Ladies,” he said quietly, meeting Tess’s gaze head-on. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to talk to my wife privately.”
No one blinked an eye at how he’d referred to her as his wife. Except for Tess. One of her brows arched steeply and her mouth pressed into a tight line. She stopped what she was doing and dropped the spoon into the bowl. Mrs. B hurriedly ushered Ellie from the room, Annie and Tess’s mom quickly followed, and within seconds they were alone.
Looking tired, she eyed him. “What do you want now?”
Mitch wheeled in a little farther, mindful not to whack his cast on the table, swallowing hard. “All those years ago... I did fall apart. I just never let you see it. Scared, I guess,” he admitted hoarsely. “Of you somehow thinking I was weak and foolish because I’d failed you.”
She looked at him. “I would never have thought that.”
“I did,” he said, and tapped his chest. “In here. It was my job to protect you, to keep you safe, to keep you from hurting. And I couldn’t,” he said, his insides aching. “I knew you were heartbroken and grieving, and logically I knew you wanted me to feel that, too. And I did feel it, Tess. I felt it every time I looked at you, every time I saw your tears and your unhappiness. But I was helpless. I couldn’t make things right. I couldn’t tell you it would work out...because I had no idea if it would. And that lack of control was unimaginable to me.” He sucked in a breath, perhaps the heaviest of his life. “Since my mom died and, hell, maybe even before then, I had to step up and look after things around here. Billie-Jack was never much of a father, even when he was sober. Mom kept everything together, you know, she made things work. When she died I had to step into those shoes, and even more so after Billie-Jack left. And I guess, along the way, I stopped being me and became mom and dad and anything else everyone needed. So, I’m sorry,” he said, and realized his hands were shaking. “I’m sorry I failed you. And hurt you,” he added softly. “Because hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do.”
“I guess we hurt each other in different ways,” she said quietly, not moving.
He inhaled and sighed. “I didn’t think of what that would mean to you, to take away our ability to have a baby together, even though I thought I knew how much you wanted a child. I didn’t consider your feelings. All I did was think about how it would fix things. I had a problem. That was the solution. Stupid,” he said, running a weary hand through his hair. “And arrogant. And typical of me, I guess. When you left I became so wrapped up in righteousness, I didn’t see that arrogance. Maybe I didn’t want to see it. I was angry because I’d convinced myself you didn’t think we were enough. Like, if there was only you and me, and no kids, then that wasn’t enough for you. We weren’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”
“I never thought that.”
He nodded and then shrugged. “Maybe if we’d talked more. If I’d talked more,” he corrected. “I know you tried. I know I closed down and it probably seemed as though I was shutting you out. The truth is,” he admitted as emotion closed his throat, “I was broken and didn’t know how to fix myself. Every time we lost a child, I really did want to cry with you, Tess... I just didn’t know how.”
“Well, we’re talking now,” she said, and crossed her arms. “That’s something.”
“It’s not enough.” He inched closer. “Will you sit down?” he asked, and motioned to the dining chair beside him. “Please.”
She took a long breath and then slowly moved around the table, perching on the edge of the chair. “Okay, I’m sitting.”
Mitch grasped one of her hands and entwined it with his. “The thing is, as much as it might seem to the contrary, I love you, Tess, more than anything or anyone.”
“Are you sure?” she asked.
“Positive. And I want to marry you, if you’ll have me.”
She tightened her fingers around his. “You didn’t want to marry me last week after we...you know...after...”
Mitch stroked her palm with his thumb and laid his other hand on her belly. “Pride. Ego. Control.” He grinned a fraction. “You know, all those things you love about me that sometimes make me act like a total jerk.”
She scowled. “I don’t think—”
“Exactly.” He brought her hand to his mouth, gently kissing her knuckles. “Stop thinking. I reckon that’s been part of our problem—we both overthink everything. From now on, let’s simply feel, okay?”
“I’m sure you’re too much of a control freak to do that.”
He shrugged. “You’re probably right. And it’ll take some work, and no doubt you’ll have to keep me in line...but, sweetheart, you know as well I do that we’re worth it.”
She looked suspicious. “What are you saying?”
Mitch smiled. “I’m saying that I am devotedly in love with you. I’m saying that you are the only woman I have ever loved. The only woman I will ever love. I’m saying that I want to marry you. I want to be your husband again. I want to love you and protect you and be beside you, always. If you’ll have me.”
“I already said I wanted to get married again,” she reminded him, her expression softening a fraction. “And you said no, remember?”
“Haven’t we already covered the part where I admitted I was a stupid jerk last week?” He chuckled. “Look, after the accident, I thought you were hovering around me because you felt guilty that I almost died. I know,” he said, and held up a hand when he saw her sharpening expression. “Out of line. Not one of my better qualities.”
“Of course I felt guilty.” She sighed. “I said some terrible and hurtful things to you...things I wanted to take back. But I never stopped loving you. Not ever.”
Mitch’s heart rolled over. “Will you marry me?”
She nodded, her eyes glistening. “Of course I will. And since I’m an old-fashioned kind of girl, can we do it before the baby arrives?”
“We’ll do it as soon as possible,” he replied.
She shuddered. “And can you forgive me for every terrible thing I’ve said to you?” She asked the question quietly. “Not only these past few weeks, but from the beginning?”
“Only if you forgive me in return. The thing is, Tess, I think we hurt the person we love the most because we know that person will always have forgiveness in their heart. I love you,” he saw rawly and touched her rounded stomach, feeling their baby, loving them both more in that moment than he imagined he could ever love anyone. “I’d give my life for you and our son.”
“I know you would,” she said, and leaned in, kissing him softly on the mouth. “Part of the reason I love you so much is how you protect the people you care about. Even during those times you don’t think you’re doing such a great job. Your strength of character is amazing. And I want to be your wife again. I want to live here and help you run this place and be by your side for the rest of my life.”
Mitch curled a hand around her nape. “Me, too,” he said, and grabbed her left hand. “I better get a ring.”
She smiled. “I still have my old rings.”
He thought about it for a moment and then shook his head. “How about we buy new rings, for our new start?”
She nodded. “I like that idea.”
“And,” he said, and kissed her softly, lingering along her jaw, “I guess we should head back into the living room to tell the gang we’re back together before they come looking for us.”
“Too late!”
Ellie’s cheerful voice echoed from the doorway and within seconds the entire clan piled into the room, including Mrs. B. It wasn’t long before her parents and then Annie and David arrived in the room, and his kids and father in tow. Suddenly the kitchen was crammed with Culhanes and McCalls and her parents. They were congratulated and they were hugged. Grant pulled some champagne from the refrigerator and they shared a toast. Everyone he loved was in the room, Mitch thought as he sat beside Tess, their hands entwined.
“Let’s get this Thanksgiving feast started,” Joss said, and patted his stomach. “I’m starving.”
Tess leaned in close. “I guess we do have a lot to be thankful for this year,” she whispered.
Mitch touched her cheek. “That we do.”
He looked around, hearing his brothers dissing one another. Ellie was frowning at something Grant said about her upcoming midterm exams. Mrs. B was humming as she cooked. David’s kids and Joss’s girls were racing back and forth in a game of tag, and her parents were sitting together and watching them approvingly, and Tess looked insanely beautiful and peaceful.
Yep. He felt like the luckiest man on the planet. Mitch smiled, happier than he had ever been in his life.
Epilogue
“I don’t know why you’re panicking,” Tess said calmly as they headed for the hospital.
“I’m not panicking,” Mitch assured her, although she knew her husband’s adrenaline was clearly running into overdrive. “I just wasn’t expecting to become a father on Christmas Day.”
Tess smiled and maneuvered her belly behind the seat belt. “It’s just a little over a week earlier than expected. And I spoke to Lucy and she said not to worry. Dr. O’Sullivan is on duty and will be there for the delivery.”
Mitch glanced sideways. “You’re so calm.”
“I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time,” she said softly, and grabbed his hand.
“Me, too.” He sighed. “We should have called the ambulance.”
“My water hasn’t broken yet,” she reminded him. “There’s still time between the contractions. Stop worrying.”
“Feels like my middle name at the moment.”
She smiled gently. “You do realize that most of your family are following us right now.”
He glanced in the rear-vision mirror and at the headlights. “It’s a big deal.”
“I know,” she said, well aware that his brothers and sister were looking forward to welcoming their son into the family fold. One thing their child would never lack, she knew, was love.
They arrived at the hospital at ten o’clock that evening and Tess was immediately ushered into the birthing suite. Mitch was a bundle of nerves, but she was oddly calm, and so looking forward to meeting their son. She was immensely grateful for having a relatively trouble free pregnancy, considering her history. Strangely, carrying this child had felt different from her previous pregnancies. She couldn’t explain it, but even in those early months, she’d always known she would carry her child to term and have a healthy baby.
The doctor came to see her soon after she was settled and once her water broke around midnight, their son arrived several hours later, screaming and perfect and with a head of dark hair just like his father.
Who, she discovered, was an amazing birth coach and helped her through every moment. Through every pain she experienced, every time she cried, through her exhaustion and finally her joy as their son was laid against her breast.
Charlie Alexander Culhane arrived at three fifteen on Christmas morning and weighed a hefty eight pounds three ounces. He was perfect, and she couldn’t stop staring at him in wonder for the next hour.
Mitch was at her side, smoothing back her hair. “He’s incredible.”
She looked up, spotted tears plumping at the corners of his eyes and smiled gently. “I know. Thank you.”
He smiled and his beautiful green eyes glittered, filling with tears. It was the first time in ten years she’d witnessed him show such intense emotion without any walls up. “You did all the work.”
“It was a team effort.”
He touched their son’s tiny head. “I have no real words for what I’m feeling right now. It’s all sort of surreal.”
His admission was heartfelt and raw, and seeing him so vulnerable made her throat ache. They’d come a long way, taking the longest road to get to where they now were. But every bump, every diversion, was worth it when she considered all she now had. They’d married a couple of weeks after Thanksgiving, choosing to have a simple ceremony at the ranch, surrounded by their family and a few friends and performed by the same celebrant who had married them the first time. That was followed by a quiet buffet lunch and then they headed into town and spent their wedding night in a luxurious room at the O’Sullivan Hotel. Mitch was getting around on crutches by then, and thankfully was able to stand by her
side during the ceremony.
And, now, they had their son.
“I love you.” She touched his cheek, drawing away the tears with her thumb. “So very much.”
“I love you, too, Tess,” he said, his voice raw. “And I’m so happy we didn’t give up on each other.”
They never would, she thought, cradling their son, looking at the man who was her best friend, her lover, her husband, and she realized she really had gotten her happily-ever-after.
* * *
Don’t miss Jake’s story,
the next book in
Helen Lacey’s new miniseries,
The Culhanes of Cedar River.
Available December 2019,
wherever Harlequin books
and ebooks are sold.
Keep reading for an excerpt from The Maverick’s Wedding Wager by Joanna Sims.
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