Tin Universe Monthly #6

by Brian C. Williams

  And I nearly busted a gut trying to get that paragraph to make sense.

  Mr. Carol pulled out a pencil and legal pad from his center desk drawer as if a big meeting was starting. To people such as him chastising some kid for throwing a paper airplane in study hall was a big meeting. He calmly and oddly placed the legal pad in the middle of his desk and the pencil right in the middle of the pad.

  Fox had thoughts of grabbing the pencil and stabbing him in the eye. It’s a thought that sometimes is an ingredient to smiles for her.

  As if you haven’t ever thought of doing that to anyone.

  He looked up from his compulsive setup.

  ‘So you want me to believe you two have made up nice and are the best of friends?’

  Fox grinned a Cheshire smile and spoke in her best slight hint of a southern accent, ‘We are already planning play dates for our future childrens.’

  This did not amuse Mr. Carol, mostly because he did not understand but knew humor was meant.

  Karen crossed her legs and spoke up, ‘It was just a lot of built up tension that I released in an unhealthy manner.’ Gail gave her the wording.

  ‘I know there are special circumstances to why this happen but if…’

  ‘We are working through it.’ Karen.

  ‘Yeah, our pastor is helping.’ Fox.

  What a load.

  Mr. Carol was thinking.

  Fox was biting her nails tasting the over priced black nail polish smiling at him.

  Karen was calculating how long it would take her to get to the bathroom down the hall once this was over?

  ‘I will reinstate you Ms. Busiek, but to make sure you two have learned how to behave around each other I am adding both of you to Joanna Osip’s Second Week Dance Committee.’

  He smirked like a sexual predator.

  And there are rumors but aren’t there always about teachers.

  Karen and Fox’s faces dropped and they glanced over at each other with pained expressions at what they’ve just been told.

  Karen peed a little.

  Just a little.

  Later in one of the hallways of the school, after a ladies room visit Karen and Fox were walking to leave the school to try and grab something to eat. Technically for today Karen was still expelled. Fox was just skipping out of classes for the rest of the day.

  ‘What was up with the pastor bit?’ Karen.

  ‘We don’t need science because we have Jesus.’

  ‘You need Jesus.’

  ‘You need Jesus.’

  A friendship falling back into place. Maybe their rebuilding of friendship is happening really fast but as Jeff will state sometime in the future, “Ant like anyone else wants to be friends with you too.”

  ‘Wait, we need to head in the other direction.’ Karen

  Fox begins looking around, ‘Why?’

  ‘I see Mr. Gibbons harassing some students to sign up for golf and I’ve already turned him down five times.’

  CHAPTER 34

  This Osip Estate thing…well, the house is a large house and the surrounding grounds are a large chunk of land but it’s not really an estate in the classical sense. The real Osip Estate is in Boston though I really need to learn how to get to the point and point here is that this house is a status symbol of the family for Joanna’s place of birth.

  The house in truth is more Joanna’s house as her father hardly ever sets foot on the grounds. And don’t get any impressions that the servants are any sort of replacement family for her because her father and Joanna herself have made sure they all know “Their place.”

  Sometimes, hell most of the time, Lisa identifies more with the servants than she does with Joanna. But that’s Lisa and one of the core things that separates her from Joanna deep down. Lisa may do and what things done to get her way in the world but she doesn’t go out of her way to make other people’s lives miserable. Not much to point Lisa as a good person but that line of thinking helps her sleep at night.

  Joanna sleeps fine at night no matter how she treats others or what may happen to others because only within her dreams does she feel the full force of what true power is. Don’t believe me you can read the free Cut Chapter: Dhaka. Lady power trips big time when in The Dream Trail.

  Today is one of the few days that Joanna has no control of what is happening to her and she does not like that and so Lisa is tasked with making sure everything is to her “friends” liking.

  Man you really must be an ass if the only time people call you a friend is within quotes.

  Lisa’s first stop in keeping Joanna happy is making sure the kitchen crew are not only preparing what Joanna wants to eat but making sure it is prepared just the right way, with the right processes even.

  Joanna once had a sue chief fired for using a cloth towel to dry lettuce instead of paper towels.

  Courtney opened the houses front doors to let Lisa in. Courtney was the house greeter. Yea, this family is that rich. Courtney is a shortish British accented young woman who even dressed in the uniform of a servant still shined with a lot of joyful energy.

  ‘Hello, Ms. Rowe, the kitchen staff has already started. Do you wish for me to escort you to the kitchens?’

  ‘Don’t worry about it Courtney, I’ve been here enough to know my way.’

  Courtney left Lisa off to continue her work polishing door handles as Lisa crossed through the hall that leads from the front door all the way to the back of the house to the kitchens.

  The house has four kitchens to be precise. One large one for cooking meals for the head of the house, one for cooking meals for any guests, one that functions as a prep kitchen and the last a very small kitchen is where the servants cook their own meals.

  As she walked down the hall Lisa spotted other servants at work. Leslie who was the house librarian was weeding out certain books from the houses library while at the same time adding new volumes. Lisa also noted a stack of magazines on a table, there because Joanna has all new magazines delivered to the house as they come out, though she hardly ever reads even one of them. Lisa noted there presence because before she left she wanted to snag a couple issues of some of her favorites that Joanna never reads.

  In a side office, through a cracked door, Lisa overheard Page, who was the on grounds rep for Osip Incorporated. A real head case was Lisa’s view of her. Lisa put her general bad attitude to her being assigned to such a bullshit position for such a high profile company. Her job was to keep Joanna up to date on company matters and to answer any questions in the instances when the press paid a visit to the gates. Right now she was dealing with the last details on the bookstores turn over to Osip Inc.

  Lisa pushed open the door to the main kitchen to find the head chief Damon screaming at his staff. All of that fury and fire but when he spot Lisa his face turns to one large smile.

  ‘Hello Damon. How is everything?’

  ‘Hello Ms. Rowe. Ms. Osip sent down a message a few minutes ago that she is changing what she wants today.’

  ‘What’s she want? Usually she eats the same thing during these days.’

  ‘Instead of her usual meal of a baked potato with a side dish of fried mushrooms, she now wants us to fix her a three course meal of fried mac & cheese to start, followed by the main course of a deer steak on a bed of rice, ending with a large portion of chocolate cake for desert. Can I ask Ms. Rowe?’

  ‘What is it Damon?’

  ‘Is Ms. Osip ill or upset beyond the normal of these days?’

  ‘I think she’s tiring. Eating up her strength is an attack on her.’

  ‘Yes, Ms. Rowe. My crew will still have everything done on time. Anything for you Ms.?’

  ‘If you don’t mind could you fix me some of that great stew you do for the other staff members. I love it. Just put it in the staff refrigerator and I’ll pick eat when I come down in a few hours.’

  ‘It will be waiting for you.’

  ‘Thanks Damon.’

  Lisa left the kitchen and jumped in the
staff elevator to head up to the bedroom floor. She thought it was just her but Joanna has been in a different state from her norm. She was thinking it was because of the beginning of the school year and it being the first year of classes at F.K.H.S. or even the business dealings her father is throwing her into now but its more than that. She just hoped the “more than that” wasn’t going to end up causing her too many pains.

  Lisa’s mind drifted away like that sometimes when driving late at night and found herself suddenly walking down the hallway to Joanna’s room. That walk has always reminded her of driving down a blind alley anyways.

  She knocked and after a “Yes.” She entered to find Paul Hunt on his knees eating out Joanna sitting on the edge of her bed. Lisa’s first thought was how into it he was with vitality and vigor, head moving all around.

  Joanna grabbed him by the hair and pushed his head in a bit, ‘Right there, and don’t move until I tell you.’

  ‘Should I leave?’ Lisa

  ‘No. He’s almost done.’

  And just as Joanna finished saying that Paul stopped dead in his movements. Joanna grabbed him and shoved him to the floor, ‘Probably not much of a swimmer.’

  ‘Is he ok?’

  ‘He’s only passed out. Drop the drama.’

  ‘He could go into cardiac arrest I think.’

  Joanna rolls across her bed to the other side and slides on a pair of jeans, ‘When he wakes the first thing he will see is you holding Polaroid’s of his blood face.’

  ‘And the point of this besides general humiliation?’

  ‘To file away in case he decides to mouth off against me.’

  ‘These getting out would humiliate you also wouldn’t they?’

  ‘I pull a card saying he pressured me into sex during my period.’

  ‘Don’t the Polaroid’s make the story stupid and uneven?’

  ‘And the United States education system makes eighty five percent of the population the same.’

  CHAPTER 35

  The Second Week Dance is an F.K.H.S. tradition. The idea is to help the students ease into a new year with supervised dancing in the gym, to approved music, under cheap dollar store ribbon, and finger painted signs, because the cheapness is just high school dance custom.

  Joanna does not in the slightest find that custom amusing.

  Some other soon to be traditions at F.K.H.S. include the Middle of the Year- Grade Versus Grade Softball Tournament, the Blind Contour Paint the Lunchroom Party, and Senior Gardening Day, all of which will not be discussed here because even though they are traditions, they are traditions which have not started yet, new school and all, nothing like some good planned traditions to get things going.

  Getting back to the subject matter of the Second Week Dance we shall move on.

  Karen and Fox are standing in the middle of the gym, which is already smelling like the inside of a pair of old gym shoes, as Joanna walks in followed very snugly by Lisa Rowe with a clipboard in her hands like a good helper mouse.

  They float over to Karen and Fox.

  ‘I will not take long because I have better things to do than talk to you two. For some reason Mr. Carol thinks you can help with the dance. More than likely your stupidity will just make more work for me.’ Joanna

  ‘I…’ Karen

  As if no one had tried to speak, ‘I don’t think anything good can come from this but I guess we can always use some muscle.’

  ‘Wait just a…’ Fox

  ‘You two look butch enough.’

  ‘I’m not…’

  ‘Be here tomorrow after last bell for our first planning meeting or I will let Mr. Carol know straight away and both of you will be expelled.’

  The mean girl duo leaves as Karen and Fox both tried once more to say something.

  Fox turned to Karen, ‘She’s a dick.’

  Karen grinned, ‘I bet she swims in her money pit.’

  ‘Even someone like Joanna has reasons for being a cunt. Cunt with a capital C but still something built that C.’ Fox

  ‘Ok, let’s open her head with a baseball bat and see what candies are inside?’

  CHAPTER 36

  The Busiek family restaurant, Karen’s, closes at 6pm and Janet Busiek invited Karen, Gail, Jeff, and Fox to an after hours sampling of their new menu before they get all the table menus laminated.

  She also wanted to mother into her oldest daughters life when it comes to her and Fox’s friendship.

  The restaurant building itself was once an old style mom and pop breakfast eatery- Kitties, but after renovations, helped by Jeff, it now resembles a mixture of an old school English pub seen through American eyes with a touch of a midnight dinner feel for flare.

  That’s old minimum wage flare for you who know nothing about design.

  Jeff, Gail, Karen, and Fox have just arrived and are standing outside the restaurant having left straight from school after Karen ranted for a good twenty minutes on how many ways she could kill Joanna and cover it up.

  Fox disagreed with all but two of them and of those two Jeff only thought one would work.

  Then Gail explained the true nature of DNA testing to the three of them and everyone left the school parking lot in a sad state of mind.

  ‘Are you sure your parents want me here?’ Fox

  ‘They invited you. Come on, we all can have a good night stuffing our faces.’ Karen

  Gail walks through the front doors first, ‘Yeah, the way you stuff your face she is going to race back to Canada as fast as her feet can carry her after seeing that sight.’

  Karen turns to Fox, ‘Sisterly love is overrated.’

  ‘So are doughnuts.’ Jeff

  ‘His brain sometimes fires with a hair trigger but never with a silencer.’ Karen

  Fox stops Karen from following Jeff in, ‘He hasn’t changed a bit has he?’

  Karen walks in, ‘Nope, still thinks Chocolate Fruity Pebbles are an affront to God.’

  Fox smiles, she also has a vendetta against C.F.P.’s.

  CHAPTER 37

  Every Thursday F.K.H.S. will be having an assembly to start the day. Two pro… Three problems with this. One, no one cares what anyone has to say at 8a.m. Two, the shop students “Miss” every assembly. And Three, Karen is trapped sitting between Gail and Jeff caught in a geek talk crossfire.

  This morning’s assembly was a representative from Osip Incorporated doing his best sales pitch for the student body to “Think Osip I.” as he called it for summer job choices.

  ‘We at Osip I. are always looking for many ways to help the youth of our communities. Here in Brevard County, the original home to Osip I. we are creating different programs and opportunities that are open to all of you…’

  Karen was doing her best to ignore a whispered conversation going on between Gail and Jeff.

  ‘You heard me. There has never been a good zombie movie.’ Gail

  ‘Really? What about Shawn of the Dead?’ Jeff

  ‘That movie would have been great with mummies, vampires, or even attack dogs. It’s British great.’ Gail

  ‘I liked Zombie Land.’ Karen

  ‘Mostly because you have a weird thing for Woody Harrison.’ Jeff

  Gail gave her sister a puzzled look.

  ‘Oh, shut up, you use to have a Matt Hardy pinup on your wall.’ Karen

  ‘At least she didn’t have David Beckham on her wall.’ Jeff

  Principal Carol shushed all the whispered conversation going on.

  ‘CAROL’S A DICK!’ some responded.

  ‘CHRIS SWEET MY OFFICE NOW!!’ answered.

  Jeff leans across Karen, ‘What about the Evil Dead movies?’

  ‘I don’t really consider those zombie movies either.’ Gail

  Jeff slaps his forehead, ‘I can’t talk to you. You’re a zombiefobe.’

  Karen flips Gail in the ear, ‘See you broke Saka’s brain.’

  A few rows up Michelle Reid and Frank Hover are in a deep discussion about superhumans. Part of Mich
elle’s life is like that Ani Difranco lyric about a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room. Another part of peoples hate on for her is assuming she’s not that intelligent, when in fact she has the third highest GPA among all F.K.H.S. seniors coming into this first year of the school.

  The top two are Joanna Osip and Lisa Rowe.

  Michelle wants to attend HD America University in New York and get her PHD in Extra-Human Studies and that’s why they are deep into their current topic of discussion.

  Frank and Michelle are good friends because their moms have been friends since high school. Both were cheerleaders.

  ‘There is no scientific evidence that we are on the verge of any sort of evolutionary spike.’ Michelle

  ‘We have people who can fly, can control energy with their minds, what about superhumans?’

  ‘Extra-Humans.’

  ‘Ok, Extra-Humans.’

  ‘Well most so called powers have been so small in scale the best theory sits on the side of pollution mutations on a gene level.’

  ‘What about Knight Book?’

  ‘Alien.’

  ‘Pulpy?’

  ‘More than likely an alien.’

  ‘The Raising?’

  ‘Well, your trouble making conspiracy buddy Chris would say government experiments to win WWI and II.’

  ‘SHHHHUSSSH!’ several teachers.

  About ten seats to the right of Michelle and Frank are Ms. Dry and Mr. Gibbons who are talking about the latest round of British elections.

  ‘So what are the major political parties?’ Ms. Day

  ‘There is the Labor Party, the Old Wigs, and the Hellfire Party.’

  ‘But what are their beliefs?’

  ‘Labor is sort of like Democrats here but it hasn’t always been that way. The Old Wigs are very conservative. The Hellfire Party are Britain’s oldest political party and tend to be sort of random in how they go on issues.’

  ‘FOR GOD’S SAKE I’M TALKING UP HERE!’

  Back to our heroes.

  ‘Assemblies are such a waste. The speakers never have anything interesting to say. What do you have after this?’ Karen

  ‘I’m volunteering as a special ed buddy again this year. You?’ Jeff

  ‘Study Hall.’ Karen

  ‘I have N.A.S.A. Studies.’ Gail

  ‘Who cares.’ Karen