Leather Paddles

by Brina Brady

“Why are you here, Sir?” Jesse asked, inhaling deeply, savoring his addictive pine scent.

  “I didn’t feel right that night at the bar when I went home without you.”

  “Um, do you want a beer, Sir?” Jesse asked, stalling for time. He had to gather his strength for a serious conversation.

  “I’d love one.” Master Andrew watched his every move.

  Jesse made his way to the refrigerator and pulled out beers for them. The dark circles around Master Andrew’s eyes troubled him. Clearly, he had been upset enough to lose sleep, and maybe he had good cause. He put the beer in front of Master Andrew and returned to his seat with his own.

  “Why are you wasting your time with me, Sir?” Jesse asked.

  “Because I want you. And when I want something, I get it. I can see in your eyes that you want and need the things I can give you and that it scares you, but don’t let it. Move in with me and give me a chance to prove what we could be together.” He took a long sip of his beer.

  “A chance at what, Sir?” Jesse swigged his beer with apprehension.

  An unsettling feeling welled inside him. A dozen needles danced their way across his forehead. His heart was thumping so loudly he was sure Master Andrew could hear it. Master Andrew’s mouth moved, but he couldn’t focus on what he said. The words were flying past his head. All kinds of questions popped up in his mind. Did he deserve Master Andrew? Was he ready to give his submission to him? He felt cornered and trapped with nowhere to go. Master Andrew’s voice calling his name broke him up from his reverie.

  “Jesse, be my sub for two weeks. If you don’t like it at any point during the trial period, you’re free to leave. I’m asking you to live with me, which means you’ll sleep in my bed, play in my dungeon, and obey my rules. In return, I promise to protect you, meet your needs, and care for you. I’ll never take another sub while we’re together. Our relationship would only include you and me. You are my priority. Don’t answer me right now. Think about my offer. I’ll pick you up at noon on Saturday, and we’ll hang out at the beach. Give me your answer while we’re there. Can you do that for me?”

  “That’s a lot to think about, Sir.” Why didn’t he have to earn his way into Master Andrew’s bed? Sam made him go through all sorts of humiliating scenes before he slept with him.

  “Think about it,” Master Andrew ordered in a serious tone.

  “Let me get this straight. You’re asking me to be your sub for two weeks, right?”

  Master Andrew peeled the beer label and nodded. “Yes, to start. Longer, if you like being with me during those two weeks.”

  “And I’ll sleep in your bed and play in your dungeon, right?” Jesse didn’t understand why Master Andrew sounded a little uptight.

  “Yes. That’s what I want you to think about.”

  “What are your rules?”

  “Be honest, monogamous, and follow my orders. Your purpose is to serve, obey, and please me. If you break the rules, you’ll be punished. If you become my sub, I’ll give you a list to go through for your hard and soft limits as well as a list of my expectations for you.”

  “I’ll think about it, but I’ll have to discuss this with Master Jake first.”

  “Of course, discuss it with him. Be ready at noon on Saturday. Wear swimming trunks under your jeans. Oh, I also have your check.”

  “Thank you. I had fun being your puppy.” Jesse gave a lopsided smile.

  “I loved having you as my pup, and I loved seeing you wear my collar.” Master Andrew stood, kissed Jesse on his cheek, and left. Jesse had a lot to think about.

  Not so long ago, Jesse wanted to go back in time and make things right with Sam, even though he feared that part. He continued to have those thoughts when he was alone. At times, he’d get swept up in the idea of not existing without him. Now he could be honest and admit he’d been unhappy with Sam for a year. Sam had left him home alone rather easily and moved on to his “new” life, even before he’d moved out. How long would it take to detangle himself emotionally, physically, and sexually from Sam? Could he ever trust Master Andrew? He longed to be open to a relationship with Master Andrew, but was he ready for him? On the other hand, he didn’t want another sub to take his place. Chen came to mind, other guys from the club. He didn’t doubt he wanted to become Master Andrew’s sub, but he feared failing him like he had with Sam.

  Jesse finished his beer, mulling it over. He startled when Master Jake and Charlie sat down at the table.

  “I need to talk to you both about something,” Jesse said.

  “We’re listening,” Master Jake said.

  “Master Andrew asked me to be his sub for two weeks. He wants me to think about it and have an answer for him on Saturday.”

  “Wow. That’s exciting,” Charlie said.

  “How do you feel about that?” Master Jake asked.

  “I’m not sure. I like him and want to be with him, but I’m not sure I’m ready.”

  “Let’s talk about what ready means. If Sam showed up, would you take him back?” Master Jake asked.

  “I hate Sam. Before I found out what he’d been doing, I already had mixed feelings, but now I never want him in my life again. I never want to see him again either.”

  “Do you trust Andrew?” Master Jake asked.

  “He makes me feel safe, and I feel better about myself. Actually, I’m happy I’m with him.”

  “Do you think about him when you’re away from him?” Master Jake asked.

  “I do. But what if I disappoint him? What if he hates my body like Sam did?” Jesse teared up, just thinking about the pain Sam had caused him for shaming his body on a daily basis.

  “You know what I think?” Charlie asked.

  “What?” Jesse wiped away his tears, knowing Charlie would tell him, whether he had said yes or no. That was how Charlie rolled, and Jesse loved him for it.

  “I think Sam told you he hated your body so you wouldn’t leave him. He wanted you to think you weren’t good enough for anyone else. He acted like he owned you, but lucky for you, he left. Did you forget he locked your dick up too and left without giving you the key? What kind of psycho does that?” Charlie asked.

  “I know Andrew very well and have for a long time. He rarely plays with the same sub twice. He never calls or dates them. He’s very interested in you. No one is pushing you either way. We both want you to be happy,” Master Jake said.

  “I don’t know. Do you think I should give him a chance?”

  “Yes. Yes,” Charlie shouted.

  “Give him a chance. You can always return to us if you don’t like being his sub. You do know that, right?” Master Jake gave his hand a little squeeze.

  “I guess so. Thank you for making me feel comfortable and safe here.”

  “I love you being here with us, and I know Charlie does too. We’ll miss you when you leave us, but if you’re happy, then we’ll be as well.”

  “Thanks for listening. I’m going to think about it.”

  “We’re going to pick up some groceries. You’re welcome to come with us,” Master Jake said.

  “I have some homework to do, Sir. Thanks for asking me.” Jesse left the kitchen and went to his room.

  In his room, Jesse listened to the truck doors slam and the engine race when Master Jake started it. As soon as the old truck sputtered away from the house, he raced out the door. He needed fresh air to clear his head. He ran and ran until he couldn’t anymore. His heart pounded hard and fast in his chest, and his breath came out in shallow pants. He found himself in front of a bar. He worried about making the right decision. His uneasiness grew as he thought about Sam finding out that he’d decided to be Master Andrew’s sub. Relaxing with a drink was Jesse’s top priority at that moment, as opportunities rarely presented themselves. His excitement and pain crossed in some way that made him feel like he wanted to explode.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Jesse

  Once Jesse found an empty stool at the bar, he ordered a boilermaker. The
drink reminded him of his beloved grandfather, surrounding him like a big hug. Every night after work, his grandfather had drunk one and had given Jesse a small glass of ginger ale as if to drink with him, making him feel special and important. Jesse had never forgotten the happy times he’d spent with his grandfather. An overwhelming sense of loss and grieving for the man he loved hit him hard. He always missed the support and love from his grandfather, but especially at times like this. From age two to ten had been the best years of his life because his grandfather raised him with unconditional love. Everything he had done was for Jesse. When his grandfather passed away, he lost the only family member he had, and he was put into a group home. And then another and another. His life had turned into a nightmare of never being good enough, of never feeling loved, safe, at home.

  A man took the barstool next to him, and Jesse gave him a sideways glance. He had lank, shoulder-length, brown hair, which was pulled into a ponytail, and he had both eyebrows pierced. A strong pot odor wafted around him, which Jesse could almost get high from just by sitting there. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but the man beside him continued to stare at him as if he wanted to say something. As soon as the bartender put his boilermaker before him, Jesse drained his shot and beer. He threw a ten-dollar bill onto the counter and faced the man for a minute without saying anything.

  Jesse jumped off the stool and made his way out of the bar. He stopped for a minute on the sidewalk and noticed a liquor store across the street. He was tempted to buy some scotch but instead purchased a can of Coke. He was serious about getting his head straight about Sam and Master Andrew. The one boilermaker was just enough for him to relax without losing his clearheadedness. He followed the path to the beach. Not many people were on the beach this late in the afternoon. He walked close to the water and sat down on the sand.

  He opened the Coke and tipped the can to his lips. The fizz tingled the roof of his mouth, a cold reprieve following down his throat. Jesse closed his eyes, desperately wishing his mind would slow down so he could think.

  The ocean always calmed his thoughts and fears about his future. He wanted to end any feelings he had for Sam, once and for all. His thoughts returned to the night before Sam had left him. They were eating outside on the patio. Sam had told him he had to wear his cock cage for thirty days without coming, and he only wanted blow jobs from him. He said he couldn’t get a hard-on to fuck anymore. He’d lost interest in his ass.

  Sam had handcuffed him to the bed legs with only a pillow and a blanket to sleep on. Sam no longer wanted Jesse in his rightful place in bed. He cried himself to sleep from the pain of Sam’s rejection. Lost and hurt, Jesse didn’t know how he could regain Sam’s love. What had he done wrong? Then he thought about Master Andrew, who was like a soft blanket covering him with peace and love. Fortunately, he was ready to stop hurting. Sam was gone, and Master Andrew was willing to give him a chance.

  As Jesse tried to stand, he stumbled, but he also felt so much better after his short nap on the beach. His emotional world had turned as sparkly as Master Andrew’s blue eyes. It was so beautiful he almost couldn’t bear it anymore. His blood rushed through his body, turning feverish. As he regained his bearings, the man from the bar stood in front of him. Jesse’s hands trembled the same way as his stomach was churning at the idea that this man had followed him to the beach. He breathed more rapidly and clasped his hand around the bottle. He looked around, but no one was on the beach anymore. How long had he been sleeping? He couldn’t remember if he had fallen asleep or not. Time seemed to have passed.

  “What are you doing here?” Jesse asked.

  “I have a message for you,” the man said in a low and gruff tone.

  “I don’t want any messages. Go away.” Jesse pushed the man and lost his balance briefly, but quickly regained it.

  “Sam doesn’t want you to hook up with Andrew. He said you’re still his sub.”

  “I’m not his sub anymore. He’s gone. But I have a message for him as well.”

  “What’s that, boy?” The man eyed Jesse’s empty Coke can.

  “Tell him to go fuck himself. I’m done. I’m fucking done with that lying bastard.”

  “Apparently you didn’t hear me, boy.” The man slapped him across the face with his open left hand.

  Jesse staggered back, his hand on his burning cheek, speechless for a moment. Then he steadied himself, blinking his eyes, while the man glared at him.

  “Don’t touch me,” Jesse shouted.

  “Listen, you little bitch, you better not go near Andrew.”

  “You don’t get to tell me what to do. Fuck off.”

  The stranger tackled him with a clean shoulder-to-shoulder hit, pushing Jesse on his backside on the sand. The next moment, the stranger pointed a handgun at his head. The man took a step forward and another, crowding him, and kicked him where he could. The sharp pain paralyzed his diaphragm. He gasped and doubled over, then curled into a ball, covering his head. Jesse absorbed the trauma, swallowing the humiliation. Pain was just an illusory sensation that his mind could shut down if it needed to, he told himself. Put it aside. But the gun frightened him.

  “This is your last warning. Do not become Andrew’s sub, or else.” With a last kick of sand at Jesse, he left.

  Jesse took a deep breath, but his ribcage hurt. Carefully he inched his arms under himself and pushed up on his hands and knees. His head swam in confusion. His stomach tightened, which hurt his ribs some more. For a minute, he remained on all fours with his head hanging, like a winded horse. Everything blurred, then came back into focus. As his vision cleared, he watched the waves crashing against the sand. He inhaled some more of the salted air and steadied himself.

  He moved into a sitting position, then buried his face in his hands and cried, long, painful sobs. Why was Sam doing this to him? The warning only made him want Master Andrew all the more. He wasn’t going to allow anyone to stop him from moving on. When he was all cried out, he grabbed his phone and called Charlie.

  “Hey, where are you?” Charlie asked. “We were worried about you.”

  “I’m on the beach beside the pier. Can you come and get me?” Jesse calmed just by hearing Charlie’s voice on the other end of the phone. Charlie had been there with him when he struggled for each and everything in his life. He was Jesse’s best friend, his go-to person, who had always gotten him out of trouble. And Jesse had done the same for Charlie. There was nothing Jesse wouldn’t do for him.

  “Of course. Are you okay?”

  “Not really. Some guy threatened me then attacked me.”

  “We’ll be right there.”

  “Thanks.” Jesse ended the call. Master Jake would soon find out what he had done. He should have left him a note. He hadn’t asked much from Jesse but to let him know if he was leaving the house.

  Jesse tried to stand but couldn’t. He tried to crawl to the sidewalk but had to stop and rest every few seconds. The beach seemed to be miles away from the sidewalk. Then he saw two figures jogging in his direction, and he felt a sense of relief.

  “What happened?” Master Jake asked.

  “A man beat me up, and he told me not to become Master Andrew’s sub. He said I was still Sam’s sub. He also told me that it was his last warning. He tackled me and kicked me all over. He also pointed a gun at me. My ribs hurt. I think one or two are broken.”

  “Steady now. I’m going to help you up and get you to the car.”

  “Do you feel sick?” Charlie asked.

  “A little,” Jesse mumbled.

  “We’ll stop at the emergency room and get X-rays done on your ribs and have them check for internal bleeding.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir. I should have left a note.”

  “We’ll discuss leaving the house without permission after we’ve returned from the hospital.”

  ***

  Once they were home, Charlie helped Jesse take a shower. He had a few bruises, but he was okay; nothing was broken. Jesse took two of the prescribed
pain pills and, after a few minutes, felt a lot better, but the threat loomed over him. He trusted that Master Jake and Master Andrew would keep him safe from Sam.

  Charlie cleared out of the room when Master Jake entered, frowning. By the look on Master Jake’s face, he was in trouble. Would he throw Jesse out?

  Master Jake sat in a chair beside the bed. “Do you know how worried we were when you disappeared?”

  “No, Sir. I had planned to return before you did, but things happened.”

  “You were told never to leave this house without a note. I also told you that you couldn’t go anywhere alone, but you blatantly ignored my rules.”

  “I’m sorry, Sir. I needed some space to think.”

  “While you’re in my home, you’ll never go anywhere without my permission. That man on the beach threatened you with a gun and hurt you. None of that would have happened if you’d obeyed. If you break my rules, I’m going to take my belt to your bare ass. I may not be your Dom, but I’m in charge of you while you’re in my home. Don’t ignore my rules or me ever again. Do you understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “I’ve got to go to the firehouse now, but I won’t be long, and then I’ll be back. In the meantime, you keep your ass in this bed.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Don’t take any more pills until it’s time. I’m going to count them when I return. The last thing you need is an addiction to pain pills.” Master Jake didn’t wait for Jesse to respond and left the room in a hurry.

  Getting on the bad side of Master Jake was the last thing Jesse had wanted to do. But he’d ended up in trouble because he had left the house alone and failed to write a note. He’d like to blame Sam for everything that had happened on the beach, but he had known the rules, and he’d ignored them, just like Master Jake had said. So much for getting out of the house to forget Sam. Disobeying only increased his problems at home with the two people who loved him and had offered to help. He hated himself for being ungrateful and rebellious, hurting those who want the best for him. I’m such a damn loser. Sam was right. I can’t do anything right.