I Do (Not)

by T L Dasha

  “He’s taught me everything he knows, for better or for worse. I’ve forgotten most of the boring stuff.” He waved a hand in the air as if to dismiss the notion. The audience all seemed amused. Trevor had such a natural charisma.

  “And as such, it’s about time I work for myself for a change. After this week, I’ll be stepping down from my position with Craig Hotel & Resorts and starting a new venture.”

  “What?” I uttered the word aloud, though it was lost in the noise of the crowd. Aaron’s jaw was practically on the floor, while Maria watched on without much change in her expression.

  “It wasn’t an easy decision to come to, but I feel it’s the right one. And I, for one, am excited about the possibilities! Now all that said, I expect a proper send off. Head to the bar, grab yourself a drink, and let’s all have a great time tonight!”

  The room applauded as Trevor handed the microphone back to Alan. He took a bow and jumped down from the stage. I watched as Aaron’s eyes shot straight to Maria. She looked up at him, squeezing his arm tightly as if to reassure him. For appearances, right?

  I took hold of the door handle and finally committed to getting out of there. I wasn’t sure why I had even come, honestly. Aaron had warned me that he had a duty to perform, I reminded myself once more. He made it abundantly clear that he couldn’t just call off his relationship with Maria while his father was around, and he would have to end it more naturally. He would have to make it look real, and I had to understand that he still loved me despite.

  But it didn’t just look real. It felt real. That brief moment of acting had more affection than he’s shown me in the four years we’ve worked together.

  I should have listened and stayed home. But I was stubborn. Again. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind, I wanted to see what it might be like to be in my boss’s world.

  The door shut behind me and I was alone in the hallway.

  Is that still what he was to me? Would he ever not be? As he stood on that stage, playing the game he needed to play to maintain his and his family’s image, how would I ever fit into his life? When is it going to be okay for him to break face and turn down rich investors and business contracts? When will I be considered good enough to stand on that stage with him instead of Maria Dresden? Would he ever go to bat for me? Or was I just a dirty little secret?

  I shook my head, feeling terribly unreasonable again. We’re at work. He’s not going to be all flirty and full of love while he’s on the job. Romance and affection is something to keep behind closed doors. Especially when you’re dating the desk clerk. This is what it means to be with Aaron Craig. That was obvious from day one. What did I think was going to happen?

  My feet took me toward the lobby, walking in an absent-minded trance. Sidney sat in my old seat. I guess it was still my seat, as Aaron had given me my job back. She was busy helping a customer. I didn’t want to talk right now anyways. I turned to head back toward the banquet hall, not wanting to be in that lobby anymore.

  “Jake!” Trevor Craig approached me, slowing from a run, and stopped but a few inches from me.

  “How may I help you, Mr. Craig?” I smiled at him, reverting to my base instincts.

  “I’m officially not your boss anymore, so you can’t call me that.” His smile put me at ease. Thank you yet again, Trevor.

  “I guess that’s true, huh?” I took a step back, giving myself a little more room. “You should have told me you were going to walk away from everything! I would have let you skip all of those meetings, I wouldn’t have ruined my favorite coat, I’d still, debatably, be marginally sane-- I was a ball of stress all week for nothing!” I feigned anger, but he saw through me as easily as I expected.

  “Didn’t I tell you it was all an interview? I’m venturing out on my own-- I’m going to need some of those workers who put in way more effort than their paygrade deserves. You’ve proven to be top rate.” He said with a thumbs up.

  That made me laugh. He reached out a hand and moved in to ruffle my hair in that reassuring way he always did. His fingers ran through my locks before settling on my cheek. It felt so comfortable. Natural. That relaxed smile put me at ease.

  “You’re worth a lot more than you allow yourself to have, Jake Conner.” He pulled his hand away, and his expression dropped. “Are you okay?”

  I would have preferred to continue talking about nonsense, but I knew this was what he had really come here to ask.

  “Why wouldn’t I be? It was all fake.” I shook my head. “I trust Aaron. I know he wasn’t lying to me when he told me he wanted to be there for me through everything. I just forget sometimes that his professionalism will always come before his heart. I guess it’s not just my sister who’s a hopeless romantic.”

  He just smiled, not saying a word.

  “What? You don’t have an opinion on that? That’s not the Trevor I know.” I teased.

  “You’re not wrong, but my brother is a better person than I am, even if he’s completely clueless. I’m not going to butt in on your happiness.” He put his hands up, as if to surrender. “The only opinion that matters here is yours.”

  But what if I want you to butt in?

  “You’ve grown up.” I played with the ring on my finger as I talked. His eyes fixated on the metal band. “So what are you going to do now?”

  Trevor furrowed his brow.

  “Get the fuck out of dodge, first of all. Even without the company, I’ve got plenty of assets to sell off and plenty of money in savings. Plus, I think I’m overdue for a vacation. I mean, I’ve been in California for a week, and I haven’t even been to the beach yet.”

  “Do you need help packing?” I asked with a little more than just a sense of duty in my question.

  “Jeeezus, Jake. Are you inviting yourself to my room?” His expression was playful, but I could still see hints of sadness. He chuckled a hollow chuckle. “Sorry, that’s inappropriate. I shouldn’t make jokes like that anymore… See-- I’m learning.”

  I rolled my eyes, reassuring him with a soft grin.

  “Aaron gave me my job back, and it’s my number one task to help you out this week, remember? You’re still my problem until you set foot in that airport.”

  “Well, in that case, lead the way, good sir.”

  I gave him a curt smile, then lead him to the elevator, swiping a keycard to access the 29th floor.

  I swallowed hard as the doors closed on us.

  My heart had never beaten faster than it did as we stood in silence, cut off from the world in that steel cage. I glanced at Trevor, but he wouldn’t look at me. He kept his gaze fixed on the floor counter, ticking up one number after the other. Twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty seven…

  I hit the stop button, somewhere between the twenty eighth floor and the end of our relationship. I couldn’t take it anymore. He looked at me, puzzled, lost, trying to read my expression.

  For the first time in my life, I wanted there to be no confusion. I was done trying to figure things out. I was done trying to play all the right games to impress all the wrong people. I knew what I wanted, and I wasn’t going to keep lying to myself.

  I grabbed him by the jacket, pushed him against the wall, and I kissed him.

  Trevor hesitated for only the briefest of moments before he eagerly complied. I teased his lips until he let me slip my tongue in his mouth, and he pulled me into him. He sucked on me, not letting me go, sliding his tongue over mine in slow but erotic rhythm. His hands gripped my waist. He lifted me up, and I wrapped my legs around him.

  He pushed me against the other wall, supporting me on the railings of the elevator. In one pronounced motion, he grabbed my hand and slid the ring off my finger. He tossed it aside, then grabbed hold of me again, practically tearing the buttons on my coat, my vest my shirt, relieving me of the clothes that stood between us. He pulled my body tightly against him. The cold glass of the wall mirrors pressed into my skin, standing in stark contrast with the heat in his fingertips, as his hands explored the mu
scles in my back.

  Our mouths still entangled, I pulled his tie loose and tossed it aside before I started undoing the buttons on his black vest and burgundy shirt. He released his hold on me only long enough to shrug it all off. His chest was hard, hot, and powerful, and I could feel every muscle moving against me. As his hands found my belt buckle, he released my lips for only a moment.

  “Are you sure about this?” His voice was breathy and his words were quick.

  “Yes.”

  Trevor gave me another quick kiss, then yanked my pants downward, letting them fall to the floor, leaving me completely naked and exposed, offering my entirety to his eager touch. His hands found my chest, and he slid his thumbs slowly over my nipples with building pressure, sending shockwaves through my body, that shook down my abdomen and rippled in my groin. That fire only grew as his lips started to make their way down my neck. I held onto his shoulders, closing my eyes, and letting the sensations of Trevor’s heat take over my entire self. I let my hands fall to his belt and started undoing the buckle.

  “Trevor, please!” I moaned with every touch, my manhood rubbing against his chiseled stomache, throwing my head back against the mirror as he aggressively tasted every inch of my skin. I watched in the side mirror as his fingers slid down my naked body, cupping my ass, while teasing my cavity, daring me to give him just a little more.

  I freed him from his slacks with nimble fingers, then I released our connection only long enough for him to drop his last barrier of clothing to the ground.

  Trevor held me firmly in his hands as I wrapped my legs back around him again. Those powerful chest muscles flexed again as he carefully lowered me onto him.

  He filled me completely, his animal instincts took over as he began to move hungrier and faster inside of me, every inch of him demanding my ecstasy. I squeezed him between my thighs and clawed into his back, while he used one hand to grip my ass, and the other to grip the back of my head, providing me a cushion as each thrust shoved me harder into the wall.

  “Trevor!” I gasped his name one more time before he took my mouth again, tasting my moans with his tongue. The sensation was unbearable. A heat and a pressure surmounted my senses. I squeezed him against me harder, feeling his body tensing against me. He grabbed hold of my shaft and started pumping in time. That cold steel on my skin was on fire.

  My mind went blank. He filled me as my orgasm coated his chest, and he let himself fall against me, connecting us through the warm liquid. My whole body was tingling. Shaking.

  We were still. He held me, hugging me with the last of his strength. Our hearts beating in time, our breaths ragged and heavy, his face buried in my shoulder.

  He whispered in my ear, his warm breath dancing on my skin.

  “I love you, Jake Conner.”

  Chapter 15

  “So after months of no contact, she messages me out of the blue telling me she got kicked out of the knitting club.” Liz took a sip of her coffee as she leaned against the counter. The look on her face as it hit her lips said it all. “They told her that they wouldn’t let their name be associated with her ‘Knitting Needles and Orgasms’ blog anymore and she was exiled from this great knitting alliance or whatever the fuck.”

  “I think I might run the other way if someone started talking about giving me an orgasm with their needle, too.” I cleaned the last dirty coffee mug, set it on the dish rack, then started refilling the coffee machine.

  “Well, yeah-- me too, obviously. But I figured I guess I can at least TALK to her. I don’t want to let someone down in such a dark time in their life, you know?”

  “Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t stop the laugh from escaping my throat.

  “Anyways, she shows up at the bakery, and sends the boss man in to get me. He tells me there’s this perfect seven standing outside asking for me.”

  “A perfect seven? What does that even mean?”

  “Shop talk. Girl talk. I don’t know, Jake-- He’s an old dude, you can’t be too hard on him.”

  “Right. So then what happened?”

  “Well, I walk into the lobby, and she gives me the sweetest hug I’ve ever gotten. Like she’s a teddy bear who just met her favorite tree. Then, get this, she presents me with a harness she knitted for my cookies.”

  “Awww.” I grinned at her. “That’s adorable! Wait… that’s not a euphemism, is it?”

  “No, no, no-- it was for my other cookies this time. The floury kind. She knitted me another harness for my other cookie later.” Liz gave me a wink and laughed heartily.

  “It sounds like she’s the one, maybe even for real.” I shook my head playfully.

  “I think she really might be!” Her eyes danced as she talked. I loved seeing Liz so happy.

  “It’s amazing how meeting the right person changes everything.” I smiled, leaning over the counter on my elbows.

  “And what would you know about that?” Trevor came up behind me, shirtless, with a fifty pound bag of coffee beans heaved over his shoulder. My eyes almost immediately fell down to the perfectly fitted jeans resting on his hips. He tossed the bag to the floor, and grabbed me by the waist, lifting me up into a kiss. He held me for a few extra seconds and smiled up at me before placing me back on the floor. “I never get tired of seeing you in that uniform.”

  “And I never get tired of seeing you without a uniform.” I smirked as I slid a finger down his bare chest.

  “Gross.” Liz interjected. “You know I’m still standing here, right?”

  “Don’t you have a job?” Trevor raised an eyebrow in Liz’s general direction.

  “I took the day off. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to miss the grand opening of Jake’s Java of San Francisco!”

  “I told you we aren’t calling it that!” I puffed up my cheeks at Liz. “It’s Java Bean. Totally different.”

  “Well, I’m still going to call it that.” He waved a hand in the air, dismissing my far superior name. “I’m happy for you though. You’ve been talking about this coffee shop since you were probably, like, six-years-old. You look so excited, I might even start to accept that you picked this guy.”

  “I get lucky sometimes.” Trevor gave me another squeeze, distributing another quick wave of happiness through my body.

  “Aaron never felt very Jake to me, anyways.” Liz shrugged, taking another drink. “I wasn’t surprised when he was all over the news with his marriage to that fancy chick the other week.”

  I frowned, recalling the night of the banquet. He called me over and over again after I left with Trevor. It took me a few days before I finally got the courage to talk to him. I think he was more relieved than he was hurt when I ended it. But there were no hard feelings. I was grateful for that.

  “I think she’ll make him happier than I ever could anyways.” There was no sadness in my voice, and there was no sadness in my heart.

  “If it makes you feel any better, he is pretty happy. He called me the other day. Maria is expecting.” Trevor rubbed my shoulders, watching my eyes for some hint of emotion.

  “I’m glad to hear it!” I beamed. And I was. Genuinely. As much as I did love Aaron, he wasn’t right for me, and I couldn’t live the life I would have needed to with him. Our values were just too different. That ring was just a ring. Besides, I didn’t choose Trevor out of spite.

  He always told me how lucky he felt that I had chosen him, but the reality was I was just as lucky that, despite my drama, my baggage, and being… well, a bit of a trainwreck, he had chosen me.

  I gave him one more peck on the lips. His lips turned upward, as he reached out to ruffle my hair. In one swift motion, he pulled me in close with one arm, and I nuzzled my face in his shoulder.

  “I love you, Mr. Craig.”

  “I love you, too, Mr. Craig.”

  The End

  Hi! T. L. Dasha here!

  I hope you’re enjoying the story of Jake, Aaron, and Trevor as much as I enjoy writing about them!

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