Keeping a Warrior

by Melanie Hansen

  “That dude is too gorgeous to be real. Is that his boyfriend?”

  At those words, Devon spun around in her chair. Had he and Matt somehow worked things out during the afternoon?

  Oh, no.

  The man at the door was Shane, all right, wearing a silky black T-shirt and a pair of dark jeans, but the dude he had his arm around definitely was not Matt. He was tall, about Shane’s height, his platinum-blond hair appearing almost purple under the bar’s colored lights.

  “Oh, my God,” Devon breathed. She searched desperately about for Matt, spying him just in time as he started to charge through the crowd toward Shane.

  Shoving her chair back, she hurried to intercept him. “Stop. You do not want to do this.”

  “Get the hell out of my way, Lowe,” Matt snarled, and Devon put both hands on his chest and planted her feet.

  “No. I won’t let you do this. Not here.”

  Devon could only imagine how much damage he’d do to himself, flying into a jealous rage in front of an entire team bar filled with SEALs, both active and retired. His own teammates supported him, but there were a lot of crusty, old-school guys around, and Devon didn’t think a scene like that would end well for any of them.

  In fact, she could already hear some muttering from a row of older men at the bar as they caught sight of Shane’s flamboyant date.

  “He’s doing this to get a reaction from you,” Devon said desperately. “He wants you to start some shit, make a fool of yourself, and then it’ll be easy for him to dump you for good.” Her hands gentled on his chest. “Don’t make it that easy for him, Matt. Don’t give him the out he’s looking for.”

  Matt’s face was red, his eyes glittering with hurt and rage. He blinked, then spun around. “You’re right. Goddammit.”

  Relief making Devon’s knees weak, she grabbed his arm and hustled him outside to the large courtyard, where the smell of cigars hung pungently in the cool night air.

  Matt braced his hands on the wall of the building, head hanging. “I can’t take this. I want to kill that guy he’s with. Jesus Christ.”

  “That’s what Shane is counting on,” she said quietly. “He needs for you to be the bad guy here, Matt, so he can walk away with a totally clear conscience.”

  Matt straightened, his jaw clenching. “So what do I do now? Leave?”

  Just then some music started playing in the bar, along with what sounded like drunk voices singing.

  “No, don’t leave.” Devon grabbed Matt’s hand and squeezed. “You know what the best revenge is in a case like this? Having fun anyway.” She gave him a giant tug toward the bar. “Let’s go do karaoke.”

  Chapter Twelve

  “You’re crazy,” Matt muttered as Devon towed him toward the karaoke stage. “I’m not doing this.”

  “Yes, you are. The best way to take the wind out of Shane’s sails is to have fun and pretend like you don’t care.”

  Matt was stiff as a board next to her, and not far away, Shane was introducing his date to some of their teammates. He kept stealing glances over at Matt, even though Matt kept his back resolutely turned.

  “Relax, dude,” she said, jostling Matt’s arm. “I’ll sing with you. Do you like country?”

  Devon picked a song at random from the Zac Brown Band, one of her favorite groups. Matt perked up a little when she pointed to it. “‘Toes’? I like that one.”

  “Good. Let’s do it.”

  During the opening guitar intro, Matt clutched the microphone so tightly his knuckles turned white. Devon was no singer, but Matt looked scared to death, so when the opening lyrics started, she wasn’t expecting much.

  What actually came out of his mouth was so deep, so rich, so beautiful, that she stopped short and stared. Matt’s voice was low and husky, and he sang the song in perfect tune, almost as if Zac Brown were here himself.

  Shane broke off midsentence to turn and gape.

  The song was a popular one, so before long the tiny stage was surrounded by folks singing along. Little by little Matt gained confidence until he was really belting it out, the crowd cheering when he even performed the little trill at the end.

  The bar rocked with wild applause, so without being asked the DJ queued up another song, this time a Zac Brown duet with Jimmy Buffett. Devon knew this one well, so despite her flat, rather tinny voice, she gamely joined in to hoots from her new woman friends and an admiring look from Rhys.

  Shane leaned against the bar, nursing a drink, his date standing close to him. Matt slung his arm over Devon’s shoulders, and she wrapped hers around his waist so they could sway along to the music. When it was over, they squeezed each other tightly.

  “Keep having fun,” she murmured to him. “Just keep having fun.”

  Shane had turned away by now, his head once again bent attentively toward his date. Matt’s body went rigid at the sight, but he called out “One more” to the DJ before trotting over to confer with him briefly.

  “This song reminds me of the best night of my life,” he said into the microphone before launching into it, a plaintive Keith Urban song about falling in love in the back of a cop car.

  Devon stood off to the side as Matt’s voice soared over the crowd, watching Shane’s face. It started out blank, impassive, but as the words and their meaning washed over him, it gradually softened until the two of them were staring at each other like they were the only two people in the place.

  “I was there the night Shane almost got arrested,” Rhys said softly from behind her. “Matt wasn’t going to let him go to jail alone, so he organized quite the resistance.”

  Devon smiled, and before she knew it, she was leaning back against Rhys’s broad chest as his hands settled on her hips.

  “I just want them to make it,” she said, tilting her head back so her lips brushed against Rhys’s cheek. “I know it’s going to take more than a song, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed it at least gets them to talk.”

  Rhys slid his arms all the way around her waist and settled his chin on the top of her head as they listened. Not far away, Sarah was watching them, her hand over her mouth, tears in her eyes.

  It felt so good to be held, to have a handsome man’s admiration and attention focused completely on her. A man she admired in return, one she liked more than she wanted to admit. Where would they go from here? Devon didn’t know, but she was more than willing to ride the wave and let things unfold.

  When the song ended, Matt leapt lightly from the stage with a bashful smile toward his adoring fans. He disappeared outside, and after a beat of hesitation, Shane murmured something into his date’s ear and followed him.

  “I need to keep an eye on them,” Devon said to Rhys, reluctantly pulling away from him, goosebumps springing up everywhere as his hands trailed along her sides and hips before he let her go.

  “Hurry back,” he whispered.

  Outside, Matt paced back and forth while Shane leaned against the wall not far from him, arms crossed over his chest.

  “I can’t believe you brought a date,” Matt was saying. “You brought a fucking date to a party you knew I’d be at!”

  “So?” Shane gave an indifferent shrug. “This is me ‘getting on with my life,’ Matt. The very thing you yelled at me to do that night.”

  “But—”

  “But what? You can’t have it both ways, babe.” Shane’s voice was hard. “I told you I supported you one hundred percent, even if it’s my choice not to renew my SEAL contract.”

  Matt stopped in front of him. “I’m sorry for every stupid thing I said that night. You said you wanted to get out, and I got scared—”

  “That getting out would mean I expected you to as well?” Instead of softening, Shane’s tone grew even more brusque. “That’s stupid, Matt. When I fell in love with you, I fell in love with every part of you, even the SEAL part. Even the part that wants to apply to DEVGRU. Asking you to give that up would be asking you to cut out a huge piece of yourself, and I would never ever do
that to you.”

  “I know—” Matt put his hand on Shane’s arm, but Shane roughly shook it off.

  “No, you don’t know. You didn’t trust me, plain and simple.”

  “I panicked, okay? With you in medical school and me off at Green Team, and then deploying God knows where at a moment’s notice, we’d hardly ever be together.”

  “And that’s a life I said I’d gladly take on. I haven’t once, in all the time I’ve known you, demanded any guarantees from you. All I ever wanted was one day at a time, Matt, but for some reason that’s not good enough for you.” He shrugged. “What that tells me is that this whole time you’ve been looking for a way out.”

  “I’m not,” Matt said desperately. “I swear I’m not.”

  “You tell me to move on,” Shane said implacably, “but then you show up here in my goddamn task unit. You want to smash my date’s face in. What’d you think, that when you’re done being a SEAL, I’ll just be waiting around to let you come waltzing back into my life?”

  “Shane—”

  “Let me tell you something. I’m not going to pine away for you. I want to have sex. I want to find love, have a relationship, maybe even a family someday.” Shane’s voice finally broke. “I wanted all that with you, but if that’s not gonna happen, I will move on.”

  As he pushed off the wall and turned to leave, Matt gave him a huge shove, sending him staggering. “So I’m that replaceable, then?” he snarled, his cheeks red with anger and pain.

  “Replaceable?” Shane threw his head back and laughed bitterly. “There will never be another you, Matt. Never.” He smoothed down the front of his shirt. “And now, because I’m a gentleman, I’m going to finish my date and then drive him home.”

  “You’d better not kiss him good-night. You hear me, Shane?”

  Shane paused midstep. “And why shouldn’t I?” He seemed to be holding his breath.

  Be humble, Matt, Devon entreated him silently. Be real with him. This is your only chance, honey.

  “Because I’m an asshole,” Matt said softly, “and I’m so damn sorry for all that shit I spewed that night. Because the thought of losing you scares me to death, and for some reason my dumbass mouth always runs ahead of my brain, and before I know it, I’m fucking everything up. But I love you, and I know you love me, and I’m begging you to please give me another chance.”

  Devon could see Shane’s head droop as he pinched the bridge of his nose. There was a long, weighty silence. Then Shane let out a weary sigh. “I can’t do this right now. I’m going to finish my date,” he repeated. “Talk to you later.”

  He disappeared back inside.

  Devon approached Matt and touched his arm. “What do you need, sweetie? You want to be alone? To sit and talk all night? Whatever it is, I’m here.”

  Matt stared at the door to the bar. “I want to run.”

  “What?”

  “I want to go for a long, punishing run.”

  Devon didn’t hesitate. “Okay, I’m in. Let’s go back to our rooms and change.”

  They made their way into the bar to say goodbye to everyone. Shane was nowhere in sight, but Devon found Rhys talking with Aaron, and drew him aside. “Matt really needs a friend right now,” she said quietly. “I’m going to take off with him, okay?”

  “Where are you going?”

  When she explained what they were going to do, Rhys grinned. “A run sounds amazing. Got room for one more?”

  “The more the merrier, I’m sure.”

  Devon found Matt and they agreed on a meeting time and place, and then she ducked into the bathroom for a quick pit stop. As she emerged from the stall, Sarah was leaning against the bank of sinks, arms crossed, clearly waiting for her.

  Smiling at her ruefully, Devon stepped up to wash her hands. “Is this the part where you warn me off because of your friend?”

  Sarah shook her head. “No. Quite the opposite, in fact. Look, Devon. I love Lani like a sister, not gonna lie.” She paused. “But I’ve never felt she and Rhys were right for each other.”

  “Why? Do you mind explaining it?”

  Sarah lifted one shoulder. “If I can. Lani and Rhys are two very different people. Rhys has always been a rebel, a risk-taker. Lani is the go-along-to-get-along type, you know? They grew up together, and their teenage love turned into a habit. That’s the best I can explain it.”

  Devon pulled some paper towels out to dry her hands as Sarah went on, “Rhys needs someone who can challenge him, keep him on his toes, call him on his bullshit. Lani needs a man who’ll be home every night.”

  “Why have they—”

  “Why have they lasted this long? Because Rhys doesn’t like failure and Lani wants everyone to always be happy all the time.” Sarah bit her lip. “Hey. Even if you’re not interested in anything beyond fucking his brains out, girl, you have my full support. Just wanted you to know that.”

  With a tiny wave, Sarah glided from the bathroom, leaving Devon speechless. Fuck his brains out? Her stomach went deliciously hollow at the thought.

  If that’s where the night leads, I certainly wouldn’t object.

  She found Rhys and Matt waiting for her on the sidewalk, and they ambled silently toward their cars. As they separated at their vehicles, Matt said, “See you out front of the barracks in thirty?”

  “You got it, bud.” Rhys clapped Matt on the shoulder. “We’ll be there.”

  “Do you mind if I get changed at your place?” Rhys jerked his thumb at the back seat of his king cab. “I have some PT gear with me.”

  “Of course not.” Devon’s mouth went dry, and she ruthlessly shoved away the images that sprang to mind. She really needed to get her damn mind out of the gutter.

  Back at the barracks, they took turns changing in her minuscule bathroom. Rhys was tying his shoes when Devon emerged. She fished her penknife out of her handbag and slipped it into her sports bra, aware of Rhys’s gaze.

  I don’t leave my knife home for anyone. I thought I could trust them, too.

  Rhys didn’t say anything, just stood and asked quietly, “You ready?”

  In front of the building Matt was already stretching. He jogged impatiently in place while Rhys and Devon warmed up, too, then led them out the main gate toward the Silver Strand. The pace he set was punishing, like he’d promised, and soon he’d far outdistanced them both.

  “You wanna try and catch up with him?” she panted. “I don’t mind.”

  Rhys shook his head. “Nah. I think he wants to be alone, but also to know we’re here.”

  Sure enough, Matt circled back occasionally to check on them before taking off again. At last he slowed, only to veer toward the beach. Devon and Rhys gamely followed, although Devon’s legs were jelly and the soft sand was torture to run in.

  It was hard packed near the water and slightly better, but Devon was still sucking wind, her whole body struggling. When Matt finally stopped not far from the huge Imperial Beach pier, she was limp as a dishrag. Rhys was slick with sweat, too.

  “Feel better?” she gasped. “I hope so because I’m gonna die now.”

  “Let’s walk for a bit.”

  They followed Matt from the sand to the sidewalk. At first Devon thought he was wandering aimlessly, but they ended up in a nearby neighborhood where Matt started pacing in front of a small, nondescript house.

  She looked over at Rhys, who lifted his palms as if to say, “No clue.”

  Matt led them in a circle around the block once, twice, until Devon heard the growl of an engine and saw the glow of headlights. A sleek black car turned into the driveway of the house Matt had been watching, and he suddenly charged up the sidewalk to confront the driver.

  “So did you kiss him good-night?” he yelled at Shane, who froze halfway out of his car.

  “What the hell, Matt? You crazy bastard.” Shane slammed his door closed and stalked toward the house. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Did you?” Matt jogged after him and gave him a shove.
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br />   Without warning Shane whirled and took a swing at him, which Matt ducked just in time.

  Devon started toward them in alarm, but Rhys grabbed her around the waist to hold her back. “Let them fight it out,” he murmured in her ear. “They’re all right.”

  She stood tensely in the circle of Rhys’s arms as Matt rammed his shoulder into Shane’s midriff and took him down. They grappled, rolling over and over in the dusty, weed-choked front yard, their grunts and “oofs” loud in the still night air. Devon was about to beg Rhys to intervene when Shane finally got the upper hand and pinned Matt’s wrists to the ground over his head with a growl of triumph.

  “The only one I wanna kiss,” he panted, “is you.”

  The resulting kiss was rough, brutal, but Matt moaned under his mouth, one knee lifting to glide along Shane’s ribs as he arched underneath him. When Shane let go of his arms, he wrapped them around his neck, fingers digging into Shane’s upper back. “I love you. I’m sorry,” he chanted every time Shane broke their lip-lock.

  Gradually, in increments, the kisses gentled, until each one was long, and slow. Matt had his legs wrapped around Shane’s hips now, his palms sweeping languorously up and down his back.

  Finally Shane propped himself up on his elbows to gaze down at him. “You’re a complete asshole,” he said tenderly, “but I’ve always been in this for the long haul. What do I have to do to prove it to you, marry your dumb ass?”

  Devon and Rhys caught their breaths, but Matt just laughed as he peppered Shane’s cheeks with kisses. “That’s gotta be the most clownish proposal in the history of proposals,” he murmured. “But no, I don’t need the piece of paper, baby. All I need is you.”

  Shane got to his knees, then struggled to his feet, Matt still wrapped around him like a limpet. He carried him to the porch and fumbled with the door, Matt’s hands wandering teasingly, his lips fastened to Shane’s throat.

  With a groan, Shane finally got the door open and they disappeared inside, the sound of the slam reverberating through the night air. Then all was quiet.