by Emily Woods
“It happens to us all.” He almost missed her soft reply, but there it was. Had she felt this way before too?
“I realize that, as a God-fearing man, I’m supposed to just turn it all over to Him. To let God take care of all of the details and such, but that’s easier said than done.” He looked to where she sat in the chair next to him and could see her head nodding slowly in the dim light from the windows. It gave him boldness to continue.
“I’ve tried—time and time again—to let go and let God, as they say, but I fail at it more than I succeed.” There was the bulk of it. His admission that he didn’t have it all together. “I’m ashamed to admit that. But today, I went into town to talk with Timothy, and while I was waiting for him, the Lord reminded me of something.”
“What was that?”
“He reminded me that it’s okay to fail.” He let out a raspy laugh. “That I’m supposed to trust, but that doesn't mean it’ll be easy. I actually think He allows it to be hard sometimes so that we can’t make it on our own. I don’t know…” He roughed a hand over his face. “Probably sounds like I’m rambling and I suppose I am.”
“No, I understand.” She reached out and rested her hand on his arm. “I feel the same way. It’s hard for me to think that this is God’s plan. The pain, the hurt…it’s a lot to bear. But I think you make a valid point. How else will we rely on him unless things aren’t always easy?”
“Exactly.” He strained to look into her eyes. “Are you all right, Ruby?”
She looked surprised. “M-me?”
“Yes.” He felt foolish for not having considered her more in this. “I’ve been a fool and said some rash things that I never should have. I can’t excuse myself, but I can say that I'm sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize for speaking your mind.”
“But I do when it’s things that are from me, not from the Lord.”
They both leaned back in their chairs, eyes turning toward the sound of a splash in the pond. Likely a frog making it back into his home.
“There’s something else I realized today.”
“What’s that?”
“I was sitting there in the sanctuary, and it was quiet and peaceful, and it occurred to me that I want to marry you, Ruby Walker.”
She gasped, sitting forward.
“I’ve known it for a long time but, just like I’ve been afraid of turning into my father, I’ve also been afraid of what marrying you would mean. I know you want children and, though I realize you can’t have them, I want more than anything to make you happy. I couldn’t see a way around marrying you because I love you, but I also worry that we don’t want the same things.”
“Wait,” she said, reaching out her hand to him again. “What did you just say?”
“That we don’t want the same things.”
“No,” she said, laughing now. “The part about you loving me.”
His chest constricted as he realized he had said that. Then, knowing that he’d already outed himself, he stood and pulled her to stand in front of him, angling so that her face was illuminated by the light form the windows.
He looked down, her eyes practically glowing, and he took in a steadying breath. “I said that I love you.”
“Do you?” she said, looking up expectantly at him.
“I do,” he said, nodding. He reached up and brushed a stray hair from her forehead, allowing his hands to linger on her silky smooth hair. “And I knew that from the start, but I wanted to be sure. And I’ve decided something.”
“What?” she asked, her forehead creasing.
“I’ve been thinking about children.” He said the words quickly, hardly able to believe that he was going to agree to this, but looking at the woman in his arms, he knew he’d agree to much more just to make her happy. “We can adopt if you really want to have children.”
Ruby blinked rapidly, trying to process the words Adam had just said. He was agreeing to become a father—something that terrified him—just because he loved her! What a far cry from the conversation they’d had earlier that day. It would appear the Lord had really worked on Adam’s heart. Then again, his heart wasn’t the only one that had undergone change.
“Oh, sweet Adam,” she said, reaching up to cup his cheek. “I don’t deserve a man as caring and kind as you.”
He looked confused but didn’t say anything.
“I too heard from the Lord today—by way of your brother.”
“What?” he asked, laughing.
“He reminded me that God had purposes for things to be the way they are. I think…” She looked down, steeling her resolve for what she would say. “I think if He’s allowed me this condition, then I should see it as a blessing, not a curse. I’m not saying this won’t be hard, but I will do my best to accept it. I will be all right without having children.”
“Ruby,” he said, inclining his until they touched foreheads. “I'm sorry that you’ve had to go through all of this.”
She shrugged, enjoying his closeness, his musky scent reminding her of everything this ranch stood for. “I will be content to marry you, Adam.”
“Is that a yes?” He leaned back.
“Yes.” She giggled at his excited expression.
He let out an earsplitting whoop that shattered the night and then pulled her close. “I will love you for the rest of my days, Ruby Walker.”
“As I will love you.”
Then he touched his lips to hers in a soft, sweet kiss of promise that filled her heart with anticipation and joy.
“Ruby!” The scream that shattered the morning could only belong to one person—Blanche.
Ruby’s heart leapt when her sister finally skirted around two older men as she raced down the train depot and collided with Ruby. Hattie wasn’t far behind and joined in the hug the next moment.
“It is so good to see you girls,” Ruby said, wiping tears from her eyes.
“It’s like a dream come true,” Hattie said, clasping her hands in front of her.
“How’s Mother?” Ruby asked, worry etching her features.
When she’d written home to tell of the news of her upcoming wedding to Adam, the reply from her sisters had been ecstatic joy as well as the terrible news that their mother had fallen ill a week before.
“She’s a little better,” Blanche said, “but missing her dinner parties and luncheons. I think she’s angrier at this sickness for messing up her social calendar than anything else.”
Ruby smiled and took in her sisters. They hadn’t changed much since she’d left them, though Blanche did appear taller and Hattie thinner.
“Are you two doing all right?” she asked.
“Why? Don’t we look all right?” Blanche asked, her usual sharp comments unsurprising to Ruby.
“You look wonderful—a true sight for sore eyes. Let’s get you both to the ranch.”
They talked nonstop on the way out to the ranch, both girls impressed that Ruby was able to drive the wagon on her own. When the buildings came into sight, both girls gasped.
“So this is what it’s like to live on a ranch,” Hattie said with awe. “It must be wonderful. I'm jealous, sister.”
Ruby laughed. “It’s not just pretty scenery and horse rides. It’s a lot of hard work.”
“Good thing I like hard work,” Hattie said with a kind smile to her sister.
“Good,” Blanche said, “Then you two can have fun doing all the work.”
The sisters laughed and Ruby pulled the wagon up to the front of the house. The door opened and Will came out.
“Is that him?” Blanche asked in a stage whisper.
“No,” Ruby said with a laugh, “That’s Will, Adam’s brother.”
“Handsome,” Blanche said, with disinterest.
“Howdy, ladies,” Will said. He wore a wide grin and was surprisingly without Simon in his arms. “I came to help bring in the luggage since Adam is out on the range.”
Once the girls were settled in their rooms, they all
met in the sitting room. Viola had prepared a sort of western-like tea for them with biscuits and coffee instead of delicate cakes and tea, but the girls loved it. They talked just like old times and Ruby was soon caught up on all of the gossip from the families in town.
“And what about Edmond?” she asked Hattie, noting the delicate pink tinge to her sister’s cheeks at the mention of his name.
“They will be married by spring,” Blanche said, with a dramatic sigh.
“Stop it,” Hattie said, and then laughed in a wholly girlish manner.
“Is that true? Has he proposed?”
“No,” Hattie was quick to assure her. “We’re just taking things slow.”
Blanche shook her head. “If Hattie had anything to say about it, they would already be married.”
“Now, Blanche,” Ruby said, wondering if her baby sister was a bit jealous. “Just because they are doing well doesn’t mean that they need to rush into anything.”
“I'm happy,” she said, looking at Hattie, “really I am, I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“Nonsense,” Hattie said.
“What do you mean?” Ruby asked Blanche.
“I just…I don’t know. Have a feeling about Edmond, I suppose.”
“You have a feeling about all sorts of men,” Hattie said with a sigh.
“No, I mean it this time. I don’t trust him.”
They fell into an awkward silence but soon Hattie pulled them out of it with the talk of Ruby’s up coming wedding.
The rest of the day went by quickly and the girls, tried from days of travel, went to bed early, leaving Ruby a few moments of peace to herself that evening. Since Adam wasn’t expected back until the next day, she sat alone on the porch.
She thought back to the conversations she’d had with her sisters. She was excited that they were here and even more excited about the wedding, but she kept coming back to the conversation she’d had with Adam. She did believe that the Lord had a purpose for everything, but she still couldn’t completely reconcile her desire to have a child with the reality that she couldn’t.
She had told Adam that she didn’t need to have children, but she still wanted them.
Sighing, she rested her head back against the rocking chair and closed her eyes in prayer. If the Lord didn’t want her to have kids, then he needed to take away this desire—and as quickly as possible, because she was getting married in a week.
10
Ruby woke with a start. The light knocking on her door drew her attention and she stifled a yawn. The sun wasn’t even up yet. Why was—
Then the truth hit her. It was her wedding day.
She swallowed a gulp and pushed herself into a sitting position. The knocking was persistent but she ignored it, pushing reality behind her. Why was she nervous? There was no reason to be. She loved Adam, she knew that without hesitation. But…but she wanted to know if marrying him meant sealing her fate as a barren woman. Would she be childless for the rest of her life?
She shook her head. No. Marrying Adam had nothing to do with her having children or not. That was God’s department. Adam had even said he would give having children a chance if it was what she wanted. That was the true measure of a man who cared for her. She knew that much.
“Come in,” she said when the knocking didn’t stop.
Hattie pushed her head in the door then lunged into the room when Blanche pushed her the rest of the way.
“It’s your wedding day,” Hattie said, all smiles.
“And you look exhausted,” Blanche commented.
“Be quiet, Blanche,” Hattie said with a stern look. “She looks lovely. And she’ll look even better once we get her bathed, dressed, and do her hair.”
How her sister had so much pep in the morning, Ruby would never know, but she did appreciate the fact that they would be there with her.
“Good morning to you too,” Ruby said through another yawn.
“Oh stop,” Blanche said, flopping down on the bed next to her. “We’re your sisters and it’s your wedding day. You should have expected us to barge in here.”
Ruby sobered quickly. “Thank you both for coming,” she said, looking between them. “I wouldn’t want to have this day without you both nearby.”
“I’m just sorry Mother couldn’t be here.” Hattie sat on Ruby’s other side, taking her hand. “I know you wanted her here.”
“I did—I do—but it’s all right. It’s more important that she gets well.” She looked at her sister. “Any word from Edmond?”
Hattie paled. “I haven’t heard from him in a while. I hope everything is all right.”
“I told you that—”
“Blanche,” Ruby interrupted her younger sister. “Not now.”
Blanche pressed her lips together and shook her head. It was evident to both sisters that she didn’t like Edmond, but neither of them knew why. At the moment though, it wasn’t important.
“I’m sure he’s just tied up with business.”
“Besides,” Hattie said with a smile, “this is your day! Let’s get you ready.”
Despite the early hour, the girls helped Ruby prepare for the wedding ceremony. It would be held at mid-morning out in a field behind the barn with only a few friends from town in attendance, but it would still be a lot of fun. They would have a dance that night in the barn where the whole town was invited. Ruby still wasn’t sure who would show up. That was Viola’s realm. She had arranged it all, telling Ruby the only thing she needed to worry about was showing up. That, she could do.
When the lone guitar player began a slow tune, Ruby picked up the hem of her new light blue dress and walked down the makeshift aisle between rows of mismatched chairs and stumps. The sun was warm but not too hot, and she looked ahead to see her groom standing with a look of awe.
Next to him stood Will and on the opposite side, Hattie. Next to Ruby now, Blanche walked her down the aisle in place of their mother. It was a bittersweet feeling, but she was just happy that her sisters were there.
They stopped in front of the pastor and Blanche took her seat while Ruby joined Adam, his hand warm and wrapped around hers.
Pastor Timothy spoke of love and devotion, but Ruby knew that was already established in her heart. She smiled at the mere thought that God had brought her all the way out west. He had provided the opportunity for her to find Adam’s advertisement, He had given her the freedom to tell Adam about her condition, and He had also drawn them together when they finally met in person.
She felt ashamed thinking of her anger toward God at the fact that He had taken something from her, when instead she should see that He had clearly given her much more. But still, in the back of her mind, she wanted more. Was it wrong for her to ask even more of Him?
They spoke their vows to one another, promising in good health and poor, in wealth and in squalor, and in the good times and the bad, that they would remain faithful. When she heard Adam’s deep baritone say, “I do,” tears filled her eyes.
She forced her voice to be strong and not waver when she responded in kind, and then the pastor pronounced them man and wife.
Adam looked deeply into her eyes as he stepped close, both of her hands in his. “I will love you forever, Ruby. Forever.”
She breathed in, taking his promise deep into her heart. “And I you, Adam, my husband.”
His grin widened. “I like that title.”
Then he closed the distance between them to show not only her, but the world, his love.
Adam leaned back from their kiss, her warm lips begging him for another, but he held back. Now wasn’t the time—not in front of all of their friends and family. But later…
He grinned to himself and turned to face the crowd, who cheered and clapped as they walked down the aisle.
“You do realize that we’ve got work do to before the dance tonight,” he said to her, leaning in close and relishing the fact that he could do so in public.
“So Viola told me. And here
I was, thinking we’d have a day off.”
“For a wedding? Nope. Viola just sees it as an excuse to throw a party—something she loves—and she demands all available hands. Wedding or not.”
Ruby laughed, the sound drawing him to kiss her cheek. She blushed and it made him want to kiss her again. So he did.
She giggled and pushed him back. “Why, sir, I do believe we are still in public.”
“And it’s our wedding day. Let them try and stop us.”
She laughed out loud now, the sound deep and rich, and he knew he always wanted to make her laugh like that.
“That’s enough of that,” came a cheerful voice in front of them.
Adam forced himself to look away from his wife. “Can’t we have a few minutes to enjoy being Mr. and Mrs. Sullivan before you rope us into our duties?”
The look on Viola’s face gave him the answer he needed.
“All right.” He kissed Ruby soundly then let her go, noting with pride that she wobbled a little on her feet. “What do you need us to do?”
Feeling sore from the work he’d done with his brother and the helpers he’d enlisted, he walked into the barn. He’d taken time to clean up and change and now he looked for his bride. She had to be here somewhere—unless she hadn’t come in yet.
It looked like more than half the town had already arrived with the other half no doubt on their way. Many folks greeted him, but he only inquired as to where his bride had gone. No one had seen her yet.
A small quartet played music in the corner of the barn and many townspeople were already dancing up a storm in the middle. It made him smile to see their happy faces and to hear their laughter fill the barn.
Laughter. He wanted to hear Ruby laugh. To feel her hand in his. To have her close to him.
Just then he turned toward the open barn doors and saw Ruby walk in flanked by her sisters. The three girls were all beautiful—each with striking features that were unique to them, though you could still easily tell the family resemblance. But he only had eyes for Ruby with her dark blonde hair and her dark brown eyes.
