by Emily Woods
He walked toward her like a moth drawn to a flame.
“Ruby,” he breathed out when he was close enough. “May I have the honor of a dance?”
She smiled at him, blushing in the dim light, and accepted his hand. “Why of course, Mr. Sullivan.”
They stepped onto the dance floor and joined in the lively dance, which was then followed by a slower one affording him the time to pull her close so she could rest her head against his shoulder.
“Did you enjoy the wedding?” he whispered into her hair.
“Yes,” she whispered against his shoulder.
They continued dancing and he let his thoughts wander.
Children laughed and danced in a circle near where the band played. They caught his attention like a gunshot. Had Ruby considered wanting children again?
He swallowed, licking his lips. It wasn’t the time or place to discuss it, but it was still on his mind. He loved his wife, he would do anything for her, but he wasn’t sure what she needed. They had left the conversation at the fact that she couldn’t have children and she saw that as God’s choice for her, but was there another way? Like his brother had said, should they consider adoption?
A flutter of white out of the corner of his eye drew his attention. He thought he’d seen someone just enter through the door, but no one was there. Frowning, he shook his head just as the music changed.
“I’m tired,” she said, smiling up at him. “And hungry.”
He nodded and they walked off the dance floor to get food. Accosted by friends and townspeople, Adam lost sight of Ruby for a few moments but focused his attention on the conversations at hand.
When he finally spotted her, she was sitting with her sisters across the room. She caught his gaze and nodded. She was all right—likely tired from a long day—and she would want time with her sisters now because they were leaving the next day. He could understand that.
Fighting the urge to go to her and take her away from the party, he allowed himself to be sucked into conversation about winter preparations with the other cattle ranchers. It was easier for him to turn off thoughts of children, and what kind of husband and father he would be, when he was talking business.
“A moment, Adam,” Will said when the conversation had died down.
“Sure.” Adam followed his brother to the side of the barn. “What is it?”
“I just…” Will scratched his head. “I just wanted to say that I'm proud of you.”
Adam laughed. “My younger brother is proud of me?”
He grinned. “Yeah, I can be proud if I want. I…”
He looked away to the three sisters now dancing in the middle of the barn. They were laughing and twirling. Hattie turned their way but the moment she saw Will looking back, she flushed and looked back to her sisters. Adam narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything.
“I remember my own wedding day,” Will finally finished. “It was joyous, just like this. I guess I just want to tell you to cherish her. Every moment. You never know when it could be your last.”
They stood there, watching the partygoers for a long time before Adam could bring himself to reply.
“When you first wrote to me about Cecilia’s death, I didn’t know what to say. I mean, I was your big brother and I was supposed to have the answers for you, but I had nothing. I still have nothing,” he said with a sad laugh. “But I love Ruby so much and I can—I can only imagine the depth of pain that you felt. I'm sorry, Will.”
Will shook his head and clapped Adam on the shoulder. “I didn’t need words. I just needed you to listen, and that’s just what you did. Thank you.”
They shared a moment without words, their eyes doing the talking, and then Will clapped him on the shoulder again. “Go find your bride.”
Adam grinned and nodded. “That I will.”
11
Ruby fell laughing onto a bale of hay. She hadn’t danced like that with her sisters in a long time. Probably not since they were little girls. Their mother would never hear of it. But here, it was different. No one cared what you did or what you looked like doing it. You could be foolish in the midst of them all and they would still accept you.
It was that kind of feeling she always wanted to have, for herself and… Her shoulders drooped. She wanted that for her children. What a foolish thought. She couldn’t have children.
“I’m going to get punch,” Hattie said, still breathing hard.
“Miss Blanche?” a deep voice drew the attention of the three women.
“Yes?” she said breathlessly.
“Could I have the pleasure of this dance?”
Blanche, not accustomed to blushing, only allowed a little laugh before accepting the masculine hand extended to her.
“Why, of course.” The young man, a handsome, strapping fellow, pulled her onto the dance floor and Hattie and Ruby laughed.
“I’ll be back,” Hattie said with a shake of her head.
Left alone for a moment, Ruby relaxed a little. She felt the weight of exhaustion slip through her muscles but deep down, she felt peace settle.
“Hello, dear.”
Ruby looked up to see a woman in a white shawl draped over a white blouse and a somewhat white skirt. Ruby didn’t recognize her at all, but smiled anyway. She still hadn’t met everyone in town.
“Hello.”
“May I sit for a moment?”
“Of course,” Ruby said, indicating the hay bale next to her. “I don’t think I’ve met you yet.”
“No, can’t say that you have. I'm Michele.”
“Are you from town?” She couldn't help the question. The woman was dressed so oddly and there was something different about her that Ruby couldn’t put her finger on.
“Congratulations on your wedding, dear. Marriage is a lovely thing.”
“Thank you,” she said, noting the woman hadn’t answered her question.
“Dear, I can’t help but think that there is a weight on your shoulders. Something you shouldn’t have to bear yourself. Am I right?”
Ruby blinked. A weight? She had just been thinking about children, but the woman wouldn’t have known that. Did she look sad?
“I, uh…” She wasn’t sure what to say. “I don’t know what you mean.”
The woman looked at her with kind, imploring eyes. “I think you do, dear.” She patted Ruby’s hand and smiled warmly at her.
Ruby felt guilty, as if she’d just told a lie. She wasn’t exactly sure what the woman meant, but if she dug deep, she could hazard a guess. Her emotions were showing—even now, on her wedding day—as she was thinking about the children she couldn’t have.
“I suppose…” She halted, glancing at the woman’s kind eyes.
“Yes, dear?” the woman urged.
“I suppose I am a little sad. You see, I can’t have children. I’ve known that for a long time, but the reality of it is much to bear. I shouldn’t be thinking about it now—on my wedding day of all days—but you must have caught me in a weak moment.”
“Now, don’t apologize,” she said, wrapping a protective arm around Ruby. “I completely understand. And you know what else?” Michele waited until Ruby was looking at her. “Even on your wedding day, it’s all right to turn these hurts over to the Lord. Would you mind if I prayed for you?”
The suggestion itself wasn’t shocking, but the weight of the woman’s words somehow burrowed deep into Ruby’s heart. She found herself replying quickly, “Yes. I’d like that.”
The woman smiled, bowed her head, and without preamble, began to pray. “Heavenly Father, Abba, we come to you on this celebratory evening in joy and sorrow alike. We know that You are great and merciful and have plans for us beyond what we can understand. We would ask that you heal Ruby’s womb. Make it viable for life. We’d ask that You bring her and Adam children so that they will not only be blessed, but can bless others in the process. We know you are powerful and strong and can do all that we ask. In your name, Amen.”
A rush o
f warmth spread through Ruby, starting from her head and pouring over her down to her toes. She had never felt anything like this nor had she heard anyone pray so boldly. It would seem the woman—who had somehow known her name—believed that God would answer their prayers. Too often Ruby prayed while simultaneously excusing herself, as if she knew God wouldn’t answer the prayers but she was doing her duty to ask anyway.
That was not how the woman prayed.
Ruby blinked several times then looked over. The woman was gone. Ruby hadn’t even noticed her leave, but now Ruby sat alone on the hay bale, vibrating with a tingling sensation inside of her.
Was it possible? Could she be healed?
She rested her hands over her abdomen and looked around momentarily. No one else took notice of her, as if they knew she needed this moment to herself.
And she did. As the woman had prayed, Ruby knew that God was powerful, but she often doubted He would use that power for her good. How was she supposed to live her life imbued with His strength if she didn’t think Him capable? The woman clearly had. It was as if—
A hand rested on her shoulder and she jumped.
“Ruby? Are you all right?”
She looked up to see Adam standing over her, a cup of punch in his hands and a strange expression on his face.
“What?”
He sat and turned to her, grasping her hand. “What’s wrong? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
She flushed and looked down, her thoughts evident on her face.
“Not a ghost,” she finally said, meeting Adam’s eyes. “But maybe an angel.”
Adam listened as his wife relayed her experience with the older woman. She described her to him, but he’d never seen her before. They even went so far as to ask those standing by if they had seen the woman, but no one had.
A trickle of apprehension sneaked up his spine. Had she really spoken with an angel? Had she been healed?
He swallowed a mouthful of punch and blinked several times.
Healed. Could it be? He believed the Lord was powerful, but was it possible… He thought of his own heart. It felt like that needed healing just as much as Ruby’s womb. Then again, his were emotional scars, not physical ones.
He reasoned through what Ruby had shared as she walked off to tell her sisters good night. He wanted more than anything to make her happy, and if she had been healed then perhaps having a child would be what the Lord wanted.
“Adam?” Ruby said as she approached him, her smile back in place. “Are you ready to leave?”
He nodded and took her hand, leading her to the entryway. Everyone clapped and shouted their congratulations as he led her up the slope toward the house. But, before they could go inside, he pulled her around the corner and made his way to the top of the hill.
“Where are we going?” she asked with a laugh.
“I think you know where,” he said, smiling to himself.
They walked up the steep path but he held her hand to make sure he could catch her if she slipped. When they crested the hill, he pulled her down onto a blanket he’d left in preparation for this exact time.
“You planned all of this?” she said, surprised.
“Of course.” He pulled her back against his chest as she faced out to see the stars. The light from the barn glowed faintly from behind the house but not enough to invade the perfect view of the night sky.
“It’s stunning.”
“And so are you, my wife,” he said. He pressed a kiss to her temple and inhaled the soft sent of roses. “I am so happy to be your husband.”
She laughed and gripped his hand more tightly. “You haven’t been married to me long, Mr. Sullivan, fair warning that you may not always be this happy.”
“I know that,” he said, sobering a little. “I’ve talked with Will often and he’s given me a good picture of what marriage is really like. I can’t say that it will always be easy for us, but if we trust in the Lord, I think we’ll do all right.”
She pressed a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I agree.”
“About what happened tonight,” he began.
“Don’t worry about it. I'm sure I'm overreacting and it was just someone’s aunt who came to the party.”
He laughed. “Someone’s aunt?”
“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “I just realized I could be overthinking things. I just…for a moment, I thought of what it would be like to truly be healed.”
His chest clenched in fear but he mentally rebuked it. It had no place in his heart or his mind. “Ruby, no matter what’s happened tonight, I want you to know that I love you and that we can try for a child or adopt one. Whatever will make you happy.”
Even as he said the words, he felt the pang of fear try to rise up again, as if he hadn’t mentally pushed it away moments before, but he persisted. He would trust in the Lord, just as he’d told his wife to, and they would conquer all through His strength and power.
“I don’t deserve a man like you,” she said, turning around to look up at him, though the darkness made it nearly impossible.
“And I don’t deserve a woman like you. I think that’s the blessing of marriage.”
He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers, reaching up to sink his fingers into the hair at the base of her neck. He pulled her closer, his other hand snaking around her waist.
Here, under a sky brimming with stars, he felt overwhelming love and passion for the woman he had married. No matter what may face them in the days to come, he prayed he would always hold on to this moment and the truth that God had brought them together and would be the One to keep them that way.
12
Ruby felt exhausted as she pushed herself from their bed. Adam had long since gone to work, but she couldn’t seem to get up. Stifling a yawn, she went to the counter and poured a small amount of the tonic Viola had given her. Cringing at the bitterness of the herbs, she downed it in one swallow and gulped water from her cup afterward.
Rubbing the excess water from her mouth, she turned to her dress hanging by the door. She dressed quickly and, yawning again, made her way downstairs. The scent of bacon cooking made her stomach rumble at the same time it made her feel sick. Likely the aftereffects of the awful tonic she’d ingested.
“Good morning, dear,” Viola said, still stirring the pancake batter in the bowl in her arms. “Did you sleep well?”
Ruby gave a noncommittal shrug and slumped down at the table. “I don’t know. I just can’t seem to get a good night’s rest recently.”
The woman’s kind grey eyes turned around to search Ruby’s face. She knew what the woman would see there. Tiredness and possibly a tinge of green. Maybe she was coming down with something.
“That’s a shame.” She put a pancake and two slices of bacon on a plate and brought it over to Ruby.
“I’m not sure I can eat at the moment,” she said, gently shoving the tin plate away.
“Dear,” Viola said, taking the seat next to Ruby, “are you feeling well?”
“No,” she admitted, licking her lips. “I think it’s that tonic you gave me. It upsets my stomach.”
“Oh, it does, does it?” Viola said.
Ruby noticed a hint of humor in the woman’s tone and looked up, hurt. “What’s so funny?”
“Oh, dear,” Viola said, patting her hand. “It’s not the tonic, it’s you.”
Ruby frowned. “Me?”
“You’re expecting.”
It took Ruby’s foggy brain a few moments to register what the woman had said. Expecting…as in, expecting a child?
“What?” she nearly shouted.
“Isn’t it obvious?”
“No!” This time she did shout, but clamped her hand over her mouth. “I mean…I have no idea what it is to be pregnant. You mean this awful sickness is…is…is a baby?” She felt the tears course down her cheeks before she could stop them.
“Yes, you sweet dear,” Viola said, pulling her close into a motherly hug. “Our prayers have be
en answered.”
They stayed wrapped in each other’s arms for several minutes before Ruby finally let go and leaned back. “I can’t believe it. I mean… I suppose I’d heard that you could feel sick when you were pregnant, but I’m the eldest and my sisters are not married yet. I had no idea.”
Viola smiled. “It’s a wonderful thing, though I can see how you wouldn’t know. Are you going to tell Adam?”
Ruby blinked. Why wouldn’t she tell him? “Of course! Is there a reason I shouldn’t?”
Viola looked down and then patty Ruby’s hand again. “I only advise caution. I have known too many mothers who have gotten excited only to face great disappointment when they lost the baby. I don’t mean to frighten you, but it is a possibility.”
Ruby heard the woman’s words but they didn’t register. She was only thinking about the fact that she had news to tell Adam. Really good news.
“I'm sure it will be fine, Viola.” She laughed. “The very fact that I could get pregnant is a miracle in and of itself. Why would God allow that only to take the child away?”
Ruby began plotting how she would tell Adam. Perhaps his favorite meal? And then a walk…
Yes, it was all coming together.
Pushing to her feet, she felt another wave of nausea pass over her, but this time she counted it as a blessing, even as she tried to work through it.
“I’m sorry, but I’ve got things to do in preparation for tonight.” She looked at Viola who gave her a less-than-bright smile but nodded in agreement.
“I’ll do what I can to help.”
The women spent the rest of the day preparing a special meal for Adam with all of the arrangements that Ruby would need for a special evening with him. She was nearly bursting from her skin when it was time for him to come home.
Adam walked into the house and looked from her to Viola to the spread on the table. “What’s all this about?” he asked.
Ruby couldn’t help the brilliant smile that came over her. “Have a seat. It’s time for dinner. Will has already eaten.”
