This made her think of Carol again. Would she ever stop having Carol in her head? She thought of the bed upstairs while she showed Sam and Ella the kitchen. She imagined running her finger down the hollow of Carol’s throat, kissing her breasts…
“Is this the fingerprint-proof stainless steel?” Ella asked before she put her fingerprint on the immaculate fridge.
“I believe so,” Joy said.
Ella stuck her hand on it. It left nothing behind. “Good.”
“Just imagine all the drawings and school report cards and photos hanging from it. I can hardly wait,” Sam said. She gave Ella a peck on the cheek, reminding Joy of her own peck on the cheek from Carol. Lovers did that, as well as friends.
This gave Joy’s racing thoughts pause. Maybe Carol had meant that kiss on the cheek as a way of saying I love you, but I’m scared. She swatted the thought away.
“Between the fridge, yard, and master suite, I think you got yourself a sale,” Ella said.
Sam wrapped her arms around Ella and kissed her. “I love the house and I love you.”
Joy smiled and wished she had a wife and plans for a future.
Chapter Fifteen
Joy was making dinner when Carol called. It was a frozen lasagna that Carol had thoughtfully made for her, along with five other meals for the week.
“I missed your voice. I’m sitting in my hotel room, bored. I needed a fresh voice. I’m already sick of the other buyers.”
Joy’s heart sang. “It’s pretty dull around here, too.”
“Do I entertain you?” Carol teased.
“It’s dull living alone. I’m glad we’re roommates,” Joy said.
There was a moment of silence. Joy hoped she hadn’t stepped over some invisible line and weirded Carol out.
“Me, too.” Carol’s voice was quiet. “And to think we almost missed out on our opportunity because we each wanted the apartment. When you get a girlfriend, I’ll be lost without you.”
“I don’t foresee that happening anytime soon,” Joy said, thinking, not unless it’s you.
“Same here. In the meanwhile, it’s good to have a friend. I’ve missed having someone I could really talk to. Thank you. Oh, and I found you a present.”
“Is it a snow globe? I’ve always meant to collect them.”
“Unfortunately, not; although it’s not too late,” Carol said.
Were they flirting? Joy’s heart would do backflips if she knew for certain that Carol was talking ‘more than’ roommates and friends.
Joy tried to resign herself to the fact that she would have to live with unrequited love until Carol found someone else... another stunning and accomplished girlfriend, no doubt. Hopefully, someone better than selfish Debra. Joy would treat Carol like a queen if she were hers, but she feared it would never be.
“Okay, what is it?” Joy said, willing to play along.
“I can’t tell you. It won’t be a surprise.”
It was then that Joy decided to get Carol a surprise: a cat. She had mentioned that she loved cats but that Debra was allergic so they couldn’t have one. Carol would love it.
***
Joy stood looking at eight cats, all in need of a home. It was heartbreaking. A shelter worker came up, introduced herself, and told her the sad stories of each cat. Some of them meowed and rubbed up against their cage, some sat back sullen and looking pissed off and disgusted with the human race.
“This one would have to be an inside-only cat. Poor fellow doesn’t have claws. He got lost and ended up here. I wish I knew his story,” Sally, the staffer said.
“What kind of a cat is he?”
“He’s called a tuxedo. He is very handsome and he’s got a nice personality. The girls love him. He stands on his hind legs and puts his front paws up for a hug. He will be missed.”
“He does look like he’s wearing a black and white tuxedo. I’ll take him,” Joy said. He was the perfect cat for their posh apartment and the kind of cat that would go with someone as classy as Carol. “What’s his name?”
“Mr. Beans is what we called him. He knows the name too.”
“Well, Mr. Beans it is,” Joy said.
She paid the fee and signed the adoption papers. All the female workers came to say goodbye to Mr. Beans. Some were teary.
***
Mr. Beans comported himself in the car with aplomb. He sat in the front seat and looked out the window. Joy hadn’t realized how big a cat he was until she had lifted him out of his crate. “Yeah, he’s a big guy. Fifteen pounds,” Sally had said. Mr. Beans didn’t meow. He just sat quietly until they got home. Then she picked him up and took him inside.
“Here we are Mr. Beans, your new home. Carol, our other roommate, is out of town, but she’s going to love you.”
Mr. Beans went straight for the white couch. Joy figured she would be buying their next couch... one that didn’t show black fur. After he investigated the couch, he poked around the house. It was then that it occurred to Joy she was in no way prepared to be a cat owner. She didn’t have food or a litter box or toys or a bed. “Oh, my goodness, Mr. Beans, I need to go shopping!”
She raced for the nearest pet store. It was down by the Castro, where she could probably get him a rainbow collar. Now she was excited for the opportunity to care and shop for another creature. She was feeling the lesbian nesting vibe as she stood looking at types of cat food and not knowing what kind to get. There were so many options. In the end, she chose the most expensive and hoped it was the best. Nothing but the best for Mr. Beans. A young woman with pink hair came over and asked if she needed assistance.
“I just got a cat and I don’t know all the right stuff to get him.”
“Do you have a photo on your phone? I am a pet psychic in my spare time. I can usually tell from a photo the personality of the cat.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize I should’ve taken one. He’s a tuxedo cat if that helps.”
“Oh, yeah, it sure does. Nothing but the best for this guy. Is he big?” the girl asked.
“Fifteen pounds. Why do you ask?”
“He’ll need a dog bed. He’s too big for the average cat bed. He’ll like the added room. It’ll be like having a king bed for a cat,” Pink Hair said.
“Okay, well, I’ve got the purse and you’ve got the goods. Can you get us fixed up?”
A hundred and fifty dollars later, Mr. Beans was all set. He seemed especially glad to see the litter box. She set that up first and he made immediate use of it while she lugged the rest of his stuff to the living room.
She had decided she would put the bed next to the window and her chair. It would be nice to have a sunning cat nearby while she read. Which is what they did for the rest of the afternoon. It was pleasant.
It would have been more pleasant with Carol there. Joy couldn’t help thinking again that it was going to be a long week. After much instruction from Carol, she had managed to figure out the coffee-maker-espresso-thingy. So, she sipped her coffee and began her new book Attack of the Lesbian Zombies by Saxon Bennett and Layce Gardner. Why she was in the mood for lesbian apocalyptic literature, she knew not. But it looked like a funny read and laughter was good for the soul; she was about to find out how you make zombies funny.
She went down to get the mail and discovered she had gotten Beryl’s mail in her mailbox. She stood wondering what to do. It wasn’t like she could put Beryl’s mail in her own box because all the boxes were locked. Joy decided the best thing to do was bring it up to her. She was tentative, but it had to be done and Beryl was her neighbor. How bad could she be? She climbed the stairs and knocked on Beryl’s door. No one answered. Maybe she wasn’t home, Joy thought. She was about to walk away when the door opened a crack.
“What do you want?” Beryl said suspiciously, like Joy might be a Jehovah’s Witness.
“I’m your neighbor from downstairs, remember? The mail carrier put your mail in my box. I thought I’d bring it up to you.”
“Idiot,” Beryl said. She
opened the door wider. She took the mail from Joy. “That was very considerate of you.”
“Just helping out a neighbor,” Joy said.
She was about to leave when Beryl said, “Do you want to come in and have tea?” It seemed this was a difficult offer of hospitality for Beryl. Joy figured she better take the invitation.
Beryl’s apartment was decorated exactly like something out of True Victorian Furniture with lots and lots of bookcases, overflowing, with still more books piled on the floor. There was a nice sitting room by the large front windows with two chairs and a small table.
“Let me put the kettle on. I usually have tea around this time,” Beryl said. Beryl gave the impression that she didn’t entertain often. She seemed nervous and fussy.
“Okay. Wow, you sure have a lot of books,” Joy said.
“Are you a reader?”
“An avid reader. I’ve got a special chair to read in and now I have a cat. It’s perfect.”
This seemed to delight Beryl, who smiled widely.
“Take a look. You’re more than welcome to borrow any,” Beryl said. She pointed to the sitting area. I usually have my tea by the window. It’s especially nice in the spring when everything blooms. I’m not much for winter. I hear you’re coming for Thanksgiving.”
“I hope that’s all right,” Joy said.
“It’ll be entertaining. Fern is extremely excited about it. She does the cooking. I’m what you’d call a basic cook.” She went to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
Joy took the opportunity to check out Beryl’s book collection. You could tell a lot about a person by what they read. Beryl seemed to have highbrow taste. She was clearly very intelligent. And Beryl had complete collections of certain authors, obviously her favorites.
Joy roamed the apartment. She wondered if Beryl had ever counted all the books she had. It had to be in the hundreds. The largest private library she’d heard tell of was Umberto Ecco who had a thirty-thousand-book library. Where did you put that many books? Joy donated her lesbian books to the local LGBTQ Community Center and the others to the local charity resale shop. With her all of her moving about, she couldn’t keep her books.
Beryl came out with the tea. “I brought milk and sugar and some cookies. They’re lemon drops. I would have better treats had I expected company.”
“I didn’t mean to interrupt anything.”
“Oh, you didn’t. I was reading as I am wont to do in the afternoons,” Beryl said. She adjusted her apricot ascot which was tucked into her burgundy velvet smoking jacket. She wasn’t wearing her monocle. Maybe she only wore it when she went out; it could just be an accent piece to her attire. “Fern says you’re a realtor. How do you deal with all those people? You see I’m a bit of a hermit. In fact, I haven’t let the apartment building for quite some time.”
Joy wondered if Beryl had been sick. When Joy was feeling blue, she felt the same way. She didn’t want to leave home and she sure as shit didn’t want to talk to anyone. She usually felt that way when she didn’t have enough clients—like she’d made a mistake becoming a realtor, but then her luck would change. Had Beryl’s luck not changed? Joy didn’t want to pry.
“It’s difficult. I get some nice ones, too. It’s just that buying a home is a big decision for most people and with all the flipping of houses lately, the market is definitely in the seller’s favor,” Joy babbled. Beryl made her nervous. She put milk and sugar in her tea and took a lemon drop.
“It sounds like a good occupation whereby to study human nature. I was a cultural anthropologist before the accident. I retired after that.”
Joy was curious but knew better than to ask.
“You can ask,” Beryl said.
“What do you mean?” Joy said.
“About the accident.”
Joy admitted she was curious.
“My wife and I were in Bolivia when the bus we were on slid off a cliff. I was the lone survivor. My life was never the same after that. I brought the love of my life home as a shoebox of ashes. I haven’t been much for the world since then,” Beryl said.
Joy didn’t know what to say. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” she said.
“Yes, it was a loss for many people,” Beryl said. She sipped her tea. “I hope you like Earl Grey.” Beryl had switched from life stories to tea. The transition was jolting. How could one go on, being the lone survivor of a bus crash, having lost your wife in a foreign county, and remain sane?
“I cannot even imagine,” Joy said.
“It’s hard to do. But my wife and I had a good life together. I have my memories and from the Dictaphone I still have her voice from her copying out her notes. They say one of the first things you forget about the dead is their voice. Our memories are evidently not equipped to keep that particular kind of remembrance.
Joy considered this. One day her mother would pass, and Joy would forget her voice. It saddened her.
“Oh, now I’ve done it. Let’s choose a different topic. I hear you have a roommate that you are fond of.”
Joy didn’t want to talk about that. How in the hell did Beryl know?
“Fern told me. Seems during her plumbing sessions, she picked up on what she calls a ‘vibe,’” Beryl said. Fern had promptly come down and fixed the handle to the toilet when it had fallen off.
“I didn’t realize I was so obvious. I don’t know how Carol really feels about me,” Joy said.
“Oh,” Beryl sighed heavily. “Not another case of unrequited love.”
Joy wondered if Beryl had run into a lot of people stuck with unrequited love. She’d seen a car commercial that had told the story of unrequited love between two lesbians that then resumed for a happy ending. Joy had sniffled.
“Fern and I have a platonic affair. We love each other but it is unrequited love.”
“Why don’t you get together? Joy asked.
“Because neither of us is truly compatible with others. She lives close. We spend time together, but we aren’t a couple in the conjugal way. It suits us both.”
“I think that’s what Carol and I have—for the time being,” Joy said.
“Meaning you are headed for unrequited or you’re going to make your move, as they say.” She sipped her tea and looked over the top of her cup at Joy.
“You don’t live with Fern,” Joy said.
“Exactly. But you do live with Carol. That my dear, is the difference.”
***
Carol called Joy every night for the rest of the week. “It’s nice to have you to share my day with. I missed that with Debra even if most of it was about her. She was a self-absorbed type. But at least we were sharing something. You’re much nicer to talk to,” Carol said. Joy’s heart hummed a few bars.
“I like talking to you as well. It gets a bit dull around here without you, and the coffee isn’t as good.”
Joy told her how she’d been showing homes to a new lesbian couple who couldn’t seem to agree on anything. “So far, no luck,” Joy said.
“You’ll find them one. I have faith in you. I found you another present. I couldn’t help myself. It’s a little thing but I hope you like it,” Carol said.
Joy both liked and felt guilty that Carol was bashing on Debra. It was a good sign of healing. She wanted Carol to heal because only then could she capture her heart. She didn’t want rebound love; she wanted happily ever after.
Beans jumped into her lap. This was bliss. All that was missing was the woman of her dreams. She was on the other end of the phone line—every night. They were so close to being a couple, including the cat. Nesting without the sex. Platonic. Unrequited.
For now, she’d take it.
***
“What is that?” Carol asked as she wheeled in her luggage. Mr. Beans liked to greet his humans at the door. Carol’s arrival was novel but fell under his job description. If Joy didn’t know better, she’d believe the cat was showing his gratitude. Mr. Beans rubbed on Carol’s silver hard-case luggage which wheeled backward, g
iving him a jolt. He sauntered off and leapt onto the couch.
“That’s Mr. Beans. He’s willing to go by Beans because he looks like a butler. He idolizes Jeeves. He’s a very superior cat,” Joy said.
“It’s a good thing I got home when I did before you turned into the weirdo cat lady,” Carol teased.
“I need human contact.”
Carol obliged and pulled her into a platonic hug. “It’s good to be home.”
“Is the cat okay?” Joy asked, wondering if she’d made a mistake. She hadn’t given the thing much thought. A cat was a commitment. What if Carol didn’t want the cat? What happened when one of them left? She’d gotten so caught up in getting the cat she hadn’t considered the ramifications. “You said you always wanted to have a cat, right?”
“I have. This makes me happy,” Carol said, going over to the couch to get a good look at Beans. “He’s certainly a handsome creature.”
“He goes with a beautiful woman,” Joy said, then instantly wished she could unsay it.
“Yes, he makes a good companion for you, for us,” Carol said.
Joy colored. “I really missed you.”
“We make a good couple; you realize that,” Carol said. Beans decided to interrupt the humans and stood on his hind legs and then reached up with his forepaws. “What’s he doing?”
“He wants you to pick him up and hold him,” Joy said.
“Did you teach him that?” Carol said.
“No, he came that way.”
Carol picked him up and held him. “He’s enormous.”
“You don’t realize it until you pick him up. They weighed him at the Humane Society, and he comes in as heavyweight at fifteen pounds.”
“My, not only are you handsome but you’re a big guy.”
“Do you like him?” Joy said.
“I think it’s love at first sight,” Carol said, hugging the cat. Beans purred.
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