Everything but the Girl

by Saxon Bennett

  Carol looked at her. “Thank you, I’m really glad you did this. It’s starting to feel like home, and it feels good. Don’t go getting a girlfriend too soon. I’d like to enjoy this a little bit longer.”

  “I have no intention,” Joy said. “Besides we signed a six-month lease.”

  “Good because I’m being selfish and want you all to myself.”

  Joy was stuck for words. Was this a declaration or something like a best friend kind of thing? She looked at Carol deeply. “I’ve really enjoyed us being together. Angela says we should get out more.”

  Carol chuckled. “I suppose we should. I’d like that.” She put Beans down. “It’s good to be home.”

  “I’m glad you’re home, too. Now, could you make me a decent cup of coffee? I’m still no good at it,” Joy said, shamelessly. Her poor coffee skills had made her miss Carol even more.

  “Then I get to give you your presents,” Carol said, heading toward the kitchen. Joy followed her.

  “How was the flight in?” Joy asked.

  “I sat next to a very unhappy sick baby. I’m hoping I have a super immunity to whatever the poor child had. It was generally hellish. I read a funny book though—Attack of the Lesbian Zombies.”

  “Oh, my goodness, I’m reading that too! It’s hilarious. Have you gotten to the paintball part? Whoops! I hoped that wasn’t a spoiler. I love Saxon Bennett and Layce Gardner. They’re my favorite authors.”

  “I’m about midway through. I love it. I should’ve got you a reading chair since you sprung for the couch. Two chairs will fit in the bay window. It’s a great reading nook. I didn’t know you liked to read,”

  “I left my books behind in the sublet. I’ll have to deal with all that stuff at some point, just not now,” Carol said, looking forlorn. “Now, let me get us some coffee. Lord knows I need one. I think I’ve got jetlag from the time change.”

  Carol fixed them two cappuccinos, perfectly done. Joy sipped appreciatively. “Ah, now this is good stuff. Now how about those presents?” Joy said perkily. She couldn’t imagine what they were.

  They sat on the couch together with Beans being most interested in the two gift boxes—one small and one the size of a shirt box.

  “You didn’t have to do this,” Joy said.

  “I wanted to. Open them.”

  Joy opened the smaller box. It was a snow globe of Chicago. She shook it and laughed.

  “I figured it was better than a postcard,” Carol said. “And you said you wanted one.”

  “I love it.” Joy shook it again and watch as snow covered a miniature downtown Chicago.

  Joy opened the other box. In it was a beautiful blue cashmere sweater and a Hermes scarf with a Tiffany pattern.

  “I thought it would go well with your eyes, bring out their lovely color,” Carol said, looking uncertain.

  Joy was stunned. She lifted it out of the box and held it up. “It’s gorgeous,” Joy said.

  “Try it on. It’s from the fall collection,” Carol said.

  “I love it. It’s so soft,” Joy said, running her finger along the fabric. “But this is too much,” she said, holding up the Hermes scarf.

  “It went with the sweater. It was a set.”

  “No, it wasn’t,” Joy said.

  “No, it wasn’t. I just had to have it.”

  “Thank you.” Joy reached out for a hug and held Carol in her arms. “It’s so beautiful.”

  “So are you,” Carol said.

  Joy gulped. Was Carol in love with her, too? Was it even possible? Carol released her. “Now try it on,” she said.

  Joy obliged. It was lovely, and both the scarf and sweater were expensively soft. She knew Carol got things at cost, but this was an extravagant gift. “You shouldn’t have.”

  “But I wanted to,” Carol said.

  And I want you, Joy thought basking in this moment of togetherness, knowing the bubble she was living in would one day pop. Carol might be hurting now and anxious for friendship but that didn’t equal more than unrequited love.

  Right now, in this moment, Joy didn’t care.

  “Look at him,” Carol said. She pointed at Beans, who was sprawled out on the couch. “He practically takes up the whole thing.”

  “We better get you a reading chair because I think we just lost the couch to the cat.”

  Carol laughed.

  ***

  When Joy got up in the morning, Beans was in the kitchen with Carol. It was earlier than usual because Joy had an eight o’clock appointment with the Lesbians who Couldn’t Decide. She figured on putting in a long day and the thought of not seeing Carol until much later was going to be difficult. They’d barely seen each other yesterday and now she had to leave early.

  “You’re up early,” Carol said, all perky.

  Beans came and rubbed against her legs. Evidently, according to the cat book Joy had been talked into buying, Beans was marking her as his personal human. It was heartwarming. Joy need not have worried that Beans wouldn’t like Carol; he was turning out to be an oddly affectionate cat.

  “I like him,” Carol said, pointing at the cat.

  “He’s a good guy,” Joy agreed. She knew for certain that she had done the right thing by getting the cat. She’d gotten him mostly for Carol, but she was happy to find him sleeping right next to her on the bed (except in the middle of the night when he pushed over her water glass and everything else she had on her night table). He was also a gravity-testing cat. They’d have to keep that in mind.

  Joy took her coffee and sat at the kitchen table. “I’ve got an appointment with the cutest couple who are having their first baby in three months. I get to spend my afternoon selling them a house after I leave off the great ‘undecided’ women.”

  Out of the blue, Carol said, “I always wanted to have children. I don’t even have nieces or nephews to practice on.”

  “Why didn’t you?” Joy asked, wondering at what kind of a mother Carol would make. Probably a pretty damn good one; she was caring and generous and very good at multitasking. Didn’t that make for good mothering?

  “Remember how I told you that Debra was self-absorbed? A child wouldn’t fit into her kind of lifestyle. I put it aside and now I’m thirty-six, which means my biological clock is running out if it hasn’t already,” Carol said.

  “You want to have it?” Joy was shocked.

  Beans stood on his hind legs and asked for a hug from Carol. He must’ve sensed she was distressed. Or he just wanted a scratch. It was hard to tell with a cat. Carol whirled around the kitchen holding him. He didn’t seem to mind. She glowed. Motherhood would suit her. If Carol were hers, they would have a baby and a family. Her mother would be ecstatic—getting to be the grandmother she always wanted to be.

  “What about you?” Carol asked.

  “First off, my mother would be ecstatic.”

  “And you?”

  “I can’t carry one. I had to have a full hysterectomy after they found cysts that were causing a lot of pain. It broke my heart, not to mention my mother’s.”

  “You never told me that,” Carol said.

  “I don’t think about it much. It hurts. I’d love to have kids. I just need the right partner.”

  “You and me both,” Carol said.

  “Seems like we both have everything but the girl,” Carol said. “I better go shower. I’ve got one hell of a day ahead, but I’d really like us to have dinner together if you don’t have plans.” She looked shy, like she might be turned down. Joy would move heaven and earth if it meant pleasing Carol. She would even cancel an Angela evening for this. “It just seems like we haven’t seen each other much.”

  “I’d love to. I don’t think I thanked you enough for the frozen dinners you made me. They were delicious. I would’ve heated up a can of soup if left to my own devices.”

  “I can only imagine,” Carol said grimacing. “I wonder what kind of a house I’d have,” she said apropos of nothing.

  “I imagine you’d have a
very posh and well-decorated house.”

  “Maybe one day you can sell me a house,” Carol said. “With you in it, of course,” she teased.

  “Yeah, right,” Joy teased back wondering if they were teasing or was it something more. When was this ‘more’ thing going to show up? She was growing frustrated at the circular innuendo they were engaged in.

  “I’ll see you tonight, then,” Carol said.

  “I can’t wait,” Joy said, unable to keep herself from thinking lustful thoughts.

  ***

  Surprisingly enough, Tracy and Jill, the Lesbians who Couldn’t Decide, finally bought the first house they had looked at two weeks earlier. They had looked at eleven other houses before noon and had agreed over the pool and barbeque area with a built-in grill. Finally.

  Joy was exhausted. She had gotten the paperwork done and wanted to go home and put her feet up. She had three houses she still needed to show to the adorable lesbian couple who were expecting a baby.

  In between appointments, she had gotten another client. Cost was a consideration, which made the hunt harder. The woman was willing to be patient. Joy thought she might have found just the house, though she wouldn’t be showing it until the weekend. It was a one-story bungalow with a nice large porch and a small backyard. She would push the idea of the less yard, less yardwork angle. Joy was good at turning disadvantages into advantages. It was a skill her mother had taught her. Not only had her mother raised her on her own, but she had given Joy a vocation that made her a successful living.

  When she got home, Beans greeted her at the door like a dog. “Are you a cadog, Beans?” He guided her to the treat jar on the kitchen counter, another suggestion from the pet store clerk. Joy said, handing him a treat, “Boy, you’ve got us trained already. We are your servants.”

  Beans meowed and put his arms up for a hug. It was the cutest thing and warmed Joy’s insides. She thought, this is love. She had fallen in love with Beans and, if she admitted it to herself, Carol.

  It occurred to Joy, as she sat reading, that Carol was out working her comely ass off. I could go help her, Joy thought. She picked Beans up off her lap. “Let’s go see Carol.”

  The woman at the pet store had said that, with a leash, you could take a cat outside. Well, they would go for a car ride and she would take Beans into to see Carol. Carol would be delighted.

  Joy hoped.

  It was weird walking out of the house with a cat, but she could tell Carol that Beans had missed her. He was dressed classy enough for the shop, barring an allergic person. She’d take her chances. Besides, Carol had told her that Mondays were always slow. It wasn’t until around hump day, Wednesday, that women decided to treat themselves to a new outfit. ‘A gift to self,’ as they called it.

  She put the leash on Beans, and he seemed nonplussed about leaving the apartment. When they got in the Lexus, he politely sat in the front seat then curled up to take a nap. That went well, she thought. She drove across town to Carol’s store. When she got there and parked the car, Beans jumped on her lap, and let her put him down on the asphalt. Like the cock of the walk, he sauntered toward the Boutique. Joy opened the door and he strolled in like he owned the place.

  Carol was standing, talking to Angela! What was she doing here? Then Joy remembered that Angela was working on leasing the building next store. Was she jealous of her best friend?

  Carol and Angela stood with mouths agape. “I didn’t even know you could do that with a cat. Beans is confused,” Angela said. “He thinks he’s a dog.”

  “We thought we’d come for a visit and see if you needed help unpacking inventory. You said it was a lot,” Joy said, uncertain if this was such a good idea after all. Was she being clingy? Maybe Carol liked to deal with her purchases on her own. Or preferred to be alone during store hours.

  “I would love the help,” Carol said. She looked genuinely pleased. “And I think Mr. Beans will be a great asset, well-dressed as he is.”

  They laughed. “I came over to tell Carol I got the lease. I can move in anytime. I’m not real sure how to set it up, you know, like decorate. I was hoping to pick Carol’s brain since her place looks so posh. I want a posh shop,” Angela said.

  “And I said I’d be glad to help,” Carol said.

  Right then the bell chimed, and a woman dressed to the nines came in and smiled widely at Carol. “Darling, I’ve got a charity ball and I need the best of the best for the event. Eve Severson is going to be there, and I simply must outdo her.”

  Eve Severson was Ronnie Anderson’s nemesis and Carol was the financial recipient of this rivalry.

  Angela pulled on Joy’s arm. “I’ve got the key to the shop. Come look.”

  “Okay. I’ll be back, Carol,” Joy said.

  Carol nodded and turned to her customer in desperate need of a ballgown.

  ***

  Angela and Joy went next door. The place did need some spice. The walls were gallery white, which meant big artwork would help. Also, a comfy couch and chairs for people to wait their turn for their exclusive hairdos, Joy suggested.

  “I’m putting the hair washing station back there,” Angela said, “Then three chairs, I’ve already headhunted and got two of the best stylists in town. They’re working at rat holes, right now. They’ll be bringing most of their customers with them. I’m getting the window corner space over here,” Angela said, “Chair here, mirror, tool station, all top of the line.” She looked at Joy. “I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for Carol. I wouldn’t have the courage. She’s a good woman. Don’t let her get away.”

  “What are you talking about?” Joy said, knowing full well what she was talking about.

  “You’re in love with Carol and she’s in love with you. It’s so obvious except to you two. It’s like that Bonnie Raitt song. It describes you all perfectly. Here... let me pull it up on my phone.”

  “Don’t bother. What makes you think she’s in love with me?” Joy said. She gulped; had Carol told Angela that she loved her?

  “You’re all she talks about. Believe me, every time we talk Carol asks about you and I tell her sordid tales of our misspent youth. She’s trying to get to know all of you. I call that love. And she gets this funny look on her face when she talks about you. You’re already a couple. Go out on date and make official! You’re, like, creating the perfect relationship. You moved in together, became friends first, and then fell in love. I do have to say, you hooked yourself a beauty. A wonderful, kind, smart, beautiful woman—the ideal partner. You’ve got a good life going with everything but the girl and now you have her. Put on your big girl panties and tell her.”

  “I can’t,” Joy said.

  Why not?” Angela said.

  “Because what if I’m wrong, and I mixed up the signals?” Joy said.

  “Don’t be an idiot. I see it and if you’ll let yourself, you’ll see it, too.”

  ***

  Angela went off to work and Joy returned to the boutique. The society woman was in the process of paying for her ballgown with a black American Express card – the one that meant you had unlimited credit.

  “I completely forgot about Beans. I hope he wasn’t a nuisance,” Joy said, chastising herself for being a negligent pet owner.

  “He helped sell the gown. Ronnie thought he was All That. She wanted to rent him for the ball to show up her nemesis. I told her he didn’t have a Social Security card but I will hire him and pay with treats so she can see him whenever she comes in.”

  “Cats at work are a thing,” Joy said, thinking of her auto insurance agent and the giant tabby that napped on the corner of her desk. The cat seemed to calm people down during stressful moments... like finding out how much your insurance was going to cost.

  “Really? Well then I shall definitely hire him,” Carol said.

  “Put me to work,” Joy said, rubbing her hands together in the proverbial ‘let’s get going’ signal.

  “All right, what I basically need is for you to put the pie
ces on the hangers while I unpack and stock the racks.”

  “I think I can handle that. I don’t think we’re going to get any help from him,” Joy said, pointing at the cat, who’d curled up, napping on the half-moon sofa.

  “Joy?” Carol said.

  Their eyes locked.

  “Yes,” Joy replied, her heart in her throat. Was this a declaration of love? Or something banal that had nothing to do with love?

  “I really appreciate you helping me,” Carol said. She opened the first of many boxes.

  Joy’s heart hovered where it was.

  “I like spending time with you,” Joy said, swallowing. It was a declaration.

  “As do I,” Carol said.

  Suddenly Joy blurted out, “Carol, would you ever consider going on a date with me? You don’t have to feel bad about telling me no...I’ll understand and then I’ll know where I stand because right now I’m really confused and I know I’m not in your league, but I have a big heart and I’m a nice woman and I sell a lot of houses.” She hadn’t given any thought to what she was saying.

  Love came knocking and then it broke the door down.

  Carol giggled. “Yes, you do sell a lot of houses. I’d love to go on a date, and you get the badge of courage for asking first. I was so timid. There’s something special between us and I’d like to explore it.”

  “So, yes?”

  “Yes.”

  “But you have to promise me, if this doesn’t work out, we’ll still be friends like how Angela and I are.”

  “Don’t be silly. Of course, we would still be friends. I don’t think we need to worry about that.” She locked eyes with Joy again. “We won’t fail.”

  She took Joy’s face in her hands and gently kissed her on the lips. It was a bite of heaven.

  “There. We have officially started our love affair. We’ll have a romantic dinner and then I’ll ravage you.”

  This was an entirely different kind of Carol. The happy one, the sensuous one, the teasing one. It was like declaring their love had let it blossom.