Seeking Shadows (Royal Bastards MC Tampa Chapter Book 3)

by K E Osborn

  “See, nothing to worry about.”

  Stepping forward, I ring the doorbell. It answers merely thirty seconds later to Zara, who is staring down at her phone, aimlessly tapping away at the screen. She spots me, then moves back to her phone. “Good to see you too, sis.”

  She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Kaddie is fighting with Jayla in the group chat, I have to keep up, or I’ll be out of the loop. You just don’t understand what I have to put up with, Dash!” She storms off, and I turn to Badass.

  “See, nothing to worry about.”

  She smirks as I lead Cruz and her inside my family home to the smell of something fucking delicious. “Mom?” I call out, walking inside the living room.

  Two little heads pop up from the sofa, the game on the television pauses, and Arlo and Liv both take turns in jumping over the sofa running toward us. “Slow down, guys!” I call out, but they both slam into me, each wrapping their arms around me. “Guys, I want you to meet two very special people in my life. This is Shadow and her son—”

  “Loki! I love Loki, man!” Arlo steps up to Cruz, poking at Cruz’s costume.

  Cruz puffs out his chest. “He’s a very underwated hewo!”

  Arlo nods his head in agreement. “Totally! Hey, how old are you?”

  “It’s nearly my birfday.”

  “Oh, cool. How old will you be?”

  “Five!”

  “We should have a Loki-themed party! Can we, Dash?” Arlo beams excitedly.

  I turn to Badass, and she shrugs. “If Cruz wants that, then I don’t see why not.”

  “Cruz, you want a Loki party?”

  “Yeah!” he chimes.

  “Then, it’s settled.”

  “Cool. When’s his birthday? I can help with the planning.” Arlo bounces around excitedly.

  “July.” I grin.

  Arlo curls up his lip. “But that’s ages away.”

  Badass and I both chuckle.

  “Cruz doesn’t really grasp the concept of time all that well yet,” Badass breaks it to Arlo.

  “Well, that’s disappointing. Oh well… gives us more time to prepare!”

  “Prepare for what?” Mom asks as she pops her head around the corner. She steps over, her eyes lingering on Badass and Cruz for a moment then they turn back to me.

  I lean in giving her a tight embrace, then step back to Badass. “Mom, I want you to meet Shadow and Cruz… Shadow is my Ol’ Lady.”

  Mom’s eyes flick back to me as she gasps. Her hand moving to her chest with her shock. “Ol’ Lady? Dash, you never told me you were even seeing someone, let alone that it was serious?”

  “It’s serious, Mom, and a lot has happened that I need to tell you about. But in the meantime, Shadow, Cruz, and I have a house and have moved in together… as a family.”

  Mom’s eyes shoot to Cruz. She takes in a deep breath before blurting out, “Is he?”

  “He’s not mine, but I love him like he is.”

  A slow smile crosses Mom’s face, and she steps forward thrusting her arms out. “Then, my dear, welcome to the family!” She steps up to Badass, pulling her in for an embrace.

  Warmth floods through me as I watch my mother and my woman finally getting to know each other. Mom pulls back, her eyes shifting to Cruz. “Do I get to call him my grandson, or is that too much?”

  Glancing at Badass, this call is very much on her. I can’t make that decision.

  She bites down on her bottom lip before answering, “I think he would like that very much.”

  Mom bends down to Cruz’s level, her eyes sparkling in delight. “Cruz?”

  “Hi!” he replies cheerily.

  “Hello, sweetheart. My name is Adley, I’m Dash’s mother, but if you want to, you can call me nana.”

  Cruz looks up at Badass for confirmation. She nods at him.

  “O-tay, Nana.”

  Mom lets out a small sob, her hand rushing to her mouth, her other arm moving out to embrace Cruz. He rushes into her arms with no hesitation.

  Mom pulls back, smiling at Cruz. “And what a handsome young man you are, Cruz. Dash is lucky to have you in his life.”

  Cruz’s big bright eyes stare up at me. “Dash is my best fwend.”

  Mom swarms with pride. “He is?”

  “Mm-hmm!”

  “But… if I call you Nana… den does dat mean I can call you Daddy?” he asks, his big doe eyes staring up at me in hope.

  I turn to Badass. The first time this happened, I knew the answer immediately. It was a no then. This time the answer I want to tell him is so different. I want to say yes. I want to be his father, more than fucking anything in this world, but the call is not mine to make.

  Her eyes lock onto mine, her beautiful blues sparkling with unshed tears as I subtly nod my head once, letting her know I am in this.

  I am in this for the long haul with them.

  Until the bitter end.

  She takes my hand in hers, and we both turn back to Cruz and kneel down to his level.

  “Baby, do you know what it would mean if you called Dash, Daddy from now on?” Badass asks.

  Cruz nods emphatically. “Dat he will always be awound and protect us… and dat he will be my bestest fwend forever.”

  “I’ll do all that, anyway, buddy. But being your dad, it means something more. That means being a part of your life in a way that shapes it. You’re young, you might not understand what this means, but being your dad, Cruz, it’s a big deal.”

  He shuffles forward. “Dat bwad man, the one who twied to hurt us. He said he was my dad.”

  I shift my eyes to Badass, and her eyes begin to water. Over the past month with all the conversations we’ve had with Cruz, the counseling sessions he’s had, he’s never once brought this up. He’s been holding onto this until now. Until he felt safe in a family environment. He knows what he wants. He is smart. He understands.

  “I don’t want him, Dash. I want you… I wuv you.”

  My chest tightens like it can’t contain the joy I am feeling. This kid has been through so fucking much, and yet, he’s here bringing a biker to his knees and on the brink of tears. Pushing back my emotions, I pull him to me, embracing Cruz with all I have. “I fucking love you, too, buddy.”

  “Bwad word, Dash.”

  I smirk. “Sorry.”

  Sitting him down in front of me, I take one last look at Badass, then back to Cruz. “I’m your dad. I’ll be here for everything. Every bump, every bruise, every heartbreak, every win, every fail, every. Fucking. Thing. I’m gonna be here for it all.”

  Cruz leaps into my arms again. “You’re my dad!”

  “Yeah, buddy. I always will be.”

  Badass wipes a tear away from under her eye while mouthing ‘thank you’ as I cuddle into Cruz feeling like whatever weight that has been weighing me down over the last few years has finally been lifted. All the shit with my dad, all the drama with Toxin, none of it matters. I have my woman, I have my kid, and everything is as it fucking should be.

  “This will get so many likes online!” Cali calls out, making me turn around as Zara has her camera up filming the whole thing.

  I roll my eyes. “You’re not putting that online, Zara. Are you ever not on your phone? And Cali, you shouldn’t be encouraging her.”

  Cali snickers. “Oh, big brother, I can’t control any of these idiots. I might be the second eldest, but my only superpower is that I have the keys to the car, right, Zara?”

  “She’s right. Honestly, Arlo rules the roost now that you’re gone.”

  I widen my eyes. “Arlo is ten!”

  “A man has to assert his authority early, Dash. That and if I don’t, I have to spend all my time watching the Kardashians, and man, I’m overrun by estrogen without you here, brother.”

  I let out a laugh

  Mom shakes her head. “I think you’ll find I rule the roost. And in saying that, dinner is almost ready. Arlo, seeing as you’re the man of the house, set the table.”

  He groans
, standing up from the floor. “Yes, Mooom.”

  Liv walks over to Cruz, grabbing his hand and leads him over to the PlayStation as Cali grabs Badass taking her away, obviously for an interrogation. I feel for her. I figure now is the best time to go and have that chat I need to with Mom.

  Making my way into the kitchen, she’s standing over the stove, stirring something, and I walk up behind her. “I’m sorry, Mom.”

  She turns to face me, folding her arms over her chest defiantly. “Dash, I thought we’d gotten over all this. I thought when you came back, things were different.”

  My chin drops to my chest. I deserve that. I should have told Mom about Shadow a long time ago. It’s just, shit was kind of chaotic for a while and then when it started to settle, I wanted to get the house organized and relax into a routine before dealing with all this.

  But it’s no excuse.

  Family is family, and I should have told them.

  Not left it so long between visits.

  “You’re right. I’m an asshole for not filling you in on what’s happening. That’s on me… but you have to know, Mom, some shit went down, and it shook me more than a little.”

  “Shadow and Cruz?”

  I lean back against the kitchen counter. “It started with them, but then it went off on a tangent, and I don’t know what to do with the information I was given.”

  “What information?”

  “It’s about Dad.”

  She hesitates but then inhales sharply. “Go on.”

  “Shadow’s ex, Tyler… he was after Cruz. Nearly got him, too. That’s what Cruz was talking about with the bad man being his dad.”

  “Okay?”

  “Tyler said some shit…” I take a breath. “He was part of this thing called the Order of Abaddon—”

  Mom tenses, dropping the wooden spoon in her hand to the floor. The pasta sauce splattering all over the tiles.

  My pulse begins to race as her face turns pale white. “So, it’s true? He was a member?”

  She drops her eyes from me, bends to retrieve the wooden spoon and places it in the sink. Then she grabs a cloth and starts cleaning the mess. “You were never supposed to find out, Dash.”

  “So, all that time… when Dad and I were fighting when I was young, when shit got so fucking bad I chose to leave this family to go to LA, and I ended up in group homes instead of being with my brothers and sisters was for what? What reason?”

  She picks up another spoon and continues to stir, facing away from me. “That was all planned.” She sniffles. “Your father made living here with him tumultuous, terrible, he didn’t want you here. He wanted you to leave. He wanted you gone.”

  “Why!”

  She slams the spoon down on the counter and turns to face me. “Because he’d already gone through with the draining ceremony. You lived, Dash. You lived. Therefore, if he was in the Order and his firstborn had survived the draining, his firstborn must be initiated into the Order as well.”

  “So, wait… you’re telling me Dad made my life fucking hell to get me away from the Order, to stop them from initiating me?”

  “That’s exactly what I am telling you. I’m sorry you had such a hard time in the group homes, Dash. I’m sorry you went to LA. I’m so sorry you felt like we didn’t want you. We just wanted to keep you safe, and that was the only way we knew you would be.”

  “All this time, I was looking for a reason why dad died, why I thought he was killed, and you knew? You let me join the club to protect us, and you knew who the enemy was all along?”

  She steps to me, taking my hands in hers. “You have to understand, Dash, all I ever wanted was to protect you. You have a son now, so you understand what it’s like… the need to protect those you love from something dangerous. The Order wanted you. Your father wouldn’t let them have you. He wouldn’t tell them where you were, so they killed him and made it look like a suicide. When you came home, I was so scared they would find you, but because your father is dead, you’re not of any use to them now. Just like I expect because Cruz’s father is dead, Cruz won’t be of any use to them either.”

  Letting out a huff, I shake my head. “Seems like we both have things to be sorry for.”

  “Dash, I’m glad you’re back. Settled. Now, enjoy your life. You’re free from the Order, you don’t have to protect our family anymore, and you don’t have to protect Cruz from the Order either. Just live, son. Be happy. That’s all I want for you.”

  “We’re all gonna be okay, Mom.” I pull her into an embrace, holding onto her tightly.

  She pulls back, placing her hands on either side of my face. “Yes, my boy, we are. Now, dinner’s ready, let’s have a nice meal as one big happy family.”

  Epilogue

  SHADOW

  The bar is pumping for a Monday night. It’s never been this full. But I think it is due to the Royal Bastard entourage that has taken over. I watch Dash chasing Cruz around the room in a game of Tag. The sheer amount of giggling coming from my son makes my heart warm.

  Nycto and Eva sit together, cuddled up lovingly at the back in the dimly lit section. Void and Toxin are playing pool. Ominous is standing with the new double layer of security that Dash arranged for me. All ex-military personnel which, of course, Ominous helped him choose. I still shake my head at the overuse of protection. But it’s just how Dash is, he’s always making sure his family is cared for. He even has security cameras and alarms on our home for the dog, so if anyone comes in the yard when we’re not home, he’s alerted.

  “Hey, Ominous, stop chatting up the security and chat me up instead!” Scarlett calls out, causing Ominous to roll his eyes.

  “Why would I do that, Red?” he calls back.

  “Because you want me, you know you do!” She wiggles her tits in his direction, and Ominous turns his back to her, continuing to talk to the security guys. “You can try to deny it all you want, but I feel your magnetic energy from here.”

  He looks over his shoulder. “That’s my volcanic revulsion you’re feeling, my stomach trying not to hurl all over you, Red.”

  She bursts out laughing. “Oh, Ominous, you should be called obvious.”

  “Seriously? I’m out!” Ominous grunts and turns heading for the exit.

  Scarlett widens her eyes. “Oh, I get it. That’s a signal. I’m coming, Ominous.”

  “I don’t think it’s a signal, Scar.”

  “Oh, it’s a signal all right. If I’m not back in thirty, I’m in for the long haul. Wish me luck!”

  “Scar, I don’t think—”

  It’s too late, she’s off, running through the bar and out the door following Ominous.

  Poor guy.

  I grimace, wiping the bar down as Frank lets out a soft chuckle. “Poor guy isn’t gonna know what hit him with that one.”

  “Oh, yeah. You’re damn right about that!”

  “Shadow!” a voice calls out from down the bar.

  Spinning around, my heart flutters, skipping a beat. I rush to the other side of the bar slamming into her arms. “Iris! Oh, God, I’ve missed you!”

  She pulls back, smoothing the hair away from my face. “My dear girl, you’ve done well for yourself.”

  I exhale. “I’ve missed you, so, so much.”

  She glances over her shoulder at Dash, who’s watching intently. “I have some news.”

  “You do?”

  “Seems like someone has made a very substantial donation in my honor, and has paid a year’s worth of rent in the house next to yours.”

  I jerk my head back, not fully comprehending what this means. “Wait, I don’t—”

  She grips my shoulders, effectively cutting me off. “Shadow, I’m moving in next door.”

  I let out an excited squeal as I race forward, embracing Iris, tighter than I could have thought possible. Tears flood my eyes while Dash walks over with Cruz.

  “I hear we’re going to be neighbors?” Dash asks, knowing full well the answer.

  I pull back, sl
apping him on the chest. “You’re amazing. What you do for me, for us, I can’t… I’m so fucking lucky.”

  Cruz glowers at me, and I let out a small laugh. “Sorry, baby, I know… bad word.”

  “Hey, fuckers, listen up!” Nycto calls out, and Cruz lets out a long huff.

  Poor kid is going to have to get used to swearing around these guys. He’s so good, down to the core, and I know he will never use these words. It’s something I have drilled into him, so I have to set an example and keep my cussing at a minimum.

  We all turn to face Nycto and Eva as they stand cuddled together at the back of the room. “We wanted to bring everyone here tonight, not for a chance to all get wasted and cause havoc, but for a party.”

  “A party?” Void repeats.

  “An engagement party,” Eva finishes off.

  Toxin jumps up, her eyes lighting up. “You’re getting married?”

  Eva holds out her left hand showing a huge ring.

  “Hijo de puta!” Toxin rushes forward, slamming straight into her sister as they embrace.

  Void moves in, giving Nycto an all-man bromance hug as the rest of the club celebrates with them.

  Dash turns to me with a bright smile on his face. He pulls me to him, kissing me under my ear.

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I stare into his eyes. “I love you, you know that, right?”

  He leans in, then presses his lips to mine briefly. “I love you, Shadow, and that over there… that’s gonna be us one day. One day soon.”

  My tummy swarms with giddy butterflies. It’s like the world keeps spinning but we’re stationary, and those gorgeous fireflies illuminate the sky once more as we kiss.

  I never thought I would have this.

  I never thought life could ever be this way.

  I thought my life would always be on the run, trying to protect my son from the evil of the world.

  Always seeking the shadows.

  Now, Cruz is safe.

  We are safe.

  And I couldn’t feel more loved if I tried.

  Cruz calls Dash his dad, and he’s more of a father to him than Tyler ever could have been. In a way, I’m glad I ran, because if I didn’t, I never would have run straight into the arms of Dash.