Her Faithful Protector: A Navy SEAL Romance (Night Storm Book 6)

by Caitlyn O'Leary

  Cullen laughed. “There’s my girl. Nic ordered one of those brownie pies, so you’re covered.”

  Carys blushed and looked over at Camilla. “I can’t believe how much I’m eating these days. As a doctor, I know this is part of the process, but as a typical woman I’m thinking it is out of control.”

  “I can imagine,” Camilla said, unsure how to respond.

  Nic kissed the top of her head. “Are you sure you’re good if we leave? We’ll be back in two hours.”

  She took a deep breath and gave him a reassuring smile, “I’m sure.”

  “There’s my girl,” Nic said with a grin. He turned to Carys, “there’s milk in the fridge and ice cream in the freezer to go with the pie.”

  “I’m in heaven.”

  Cullen went over and gave his wife a lingering kiss. “See you soon.” Camilla looked at the closed door, then looked at Carys, unsure what to say. The guys had already cleared the table, so Carys headed to the kitchen and was soon back out with the brownie pie.

  Dammit, I should be helping.

  Camilla shook her head, trying to clear her near-constant state of fog. She stood up.

  “It’s okay, I’ve got it, you stay where you are. Do you want milk with your brownie?” Carys asked.

  Camilla nodded.

  Before she knew it, they were sitting across from one another, digging into brownie sundaes. “Who knew a pizza place could make such a delicious dessert, huh?” Carys asked.

  “Yeah, who knew.”

  Camilla appreciated the silence as she ate her dessert, but as it came to an end she started to get curious. “So you and A.J. met your husbands when the teams were on missions?”

  “Yep. Did A.J. tell you about the Eurovision Song Contest, and what all went on?” Carys asked.

  “She touched on it on the way from the airport, but I was pretty strung out, so it didn’t really register. From what Cullen was saying at dinner your time together in Africa was horrifying.”

  “I wouldn’t say that at all.” Carys looked at her with a warm expression. “Cullen was just scared for me, Shada, and baby Adam.”

  “Really?”

  “I mean, don’t get me wrong, we could have died, but I had faith that Cullen would save us. He’s extraordinary. All of those men are.”

  “Yes. Yes, they are.” She pictured Mexico and what they’d done. Camilla worked mercilessly hard to stop herself from thinking what would have happened if Nic and the others hadn’t rescued them.

  “Can I ask you a personal question?” Carys’ voice was kind and soft.

  “You want to know about me and Nic, right?”

  “Well if you want to tell me, I would love to hear,” Carys replied, her eyes twinkling. “But no, that’s not it.”

  “What then?” Camilla stirred at what was left in her bowl, suddenly not very hungry.

  “Well, first I’m going to tell you a little bit more about me. Years ago, I used to be part of Doctors without Borders. I had a horrific experience where I was practically raped. Another SEAL team saved me, but the fallout from that kept me indoors for damn near a month when I got back to the States. Logically I should have known better than that, I’m a physician, I should have known to ask for help, but I didn’t. I just shut myself away in my house.”

  Camilla stared at the woman. How could she talk about it so calmly?

  “What did you do?”

  “An old family friend came and visited. She saw what was wrong. She made me shower and eat, then she cleaned up the place and called one of my colleagues. Ted ended up dragging me kicking and screaming to a therapist. It was the best thing he could have done. I bless Rosa and Ted every day. They saved me.”

  “Nic wants me to go see a counselor. His mom suggested it too. I just think time will take care of it.” She pushed the dish away from her and melted ice cream sloshed over the side, making a mess on the table.

  “Carys, what I don’t get is that I was fine while I was in Mexico. I kept it together, you know? I helped others. Why am I such a basket case now? And in front of Nic? I don’t want him to see me like this. He says he wants a second chance with me. I think he’s serious. Like forever kind of serious, but what if I’m some kind of woman who can’t keep it together, who’s…who’s crying all the time.”

  She felt tears on her face.

  “Let it out,” Carys said quietly.

  “What if I’m someone who just wants to be in pain so she can take the damn pills so she doesn’t have to think or feel? What kind of person am I? Who would want a second chance with that kind of person?” She reached out and snatched up a napkin to sop up her tears.

  Camilla didn’t know how, but Carys was in a chair beside her, and she was mindfully pulling her into her arms, taking care not to hurt her shoulder.

  “Oh honey, I’m so sorry all of this happened to you, I really am. But you were rescued, what, eight days ago?”

  “Nine,” Camilla said into Carys’ shoulder.

  “Okay, nine. You’ve had major surgery, you’re still in pain, and from what I understand you’ve been reunited with the love of your life. I’d say you’re entitled to a breakdown, maybe even two or three.”

  Camilla hiccupped. “You think?”

  “I know.”

  “Carys, I feel so lost. I don’t know what to do,” she admitted. “I know Nic brought me here to take care of me, but that was because I’m physically injured. I’m sure he wasn’t expecting an emotional basket case.”

  “You’d be surprised. These men understand a hell of a lot more than most. They see things that other men don’t see, and it gives them a unique perspective. I’m positive that Nic knew what he was signing up for.”

  “So I should see one? A therapist I mean. It would actually help me?”

  “I hear that you’re a genius. Nic’s been bragging about you. So I know that you know you should see one. Or at least the normal Doctor Ross would know.”

  Camilla lifted her head from Carys’ shoulder. “That’s a lot of ‘knows’. You know?”

  Carys giggled. “Hey, the woman has a sense of humor, all is not lost.”

  22

  Nic was sitting in the waiting room for Camilla to come out. It was her sixth session with Doctor Cricket in two weeks. He wasn’t really surprised that she was going at it so fast. When Camilla made up her mind about something, there was no stopping her. He just wished that she hadn’t put a hold on talking about them. She kept insisting that she needed to get her feet back under her before she could contemplate any kind of relationship talk.

  The only thing that had Nic keeping it together was that when Camilla had a nightmare, and he went to her in the middle of the night, she held on to him tight. Those nights he would kiss her temple and tell her she was safe, all the time stroking her back. The first night it happened, after she had quieted down, he had eased her back under the covers and attempted to leave. She’d begged him to stay. How could he resist?

  They’d developed a pattern. Almost every third night, she would have a nightmare, and he would go to her. Those were the only nights that he could get a good night’s sleep.

  The office door opened, and Camilla came out, her smile was blinding. Nic shoved to his feet. He didn’t know what in the hell had happened in that room, but he was pretty damned happy about it.

  “Do you want to go for lunch?” Camilla asked.

  “I don’t know, are you buying?” Nic teased.

  “Absolutely. Name the place.”

  “We’re definitely going to eat near the water. Let’s go.”

  As soon as they got into his truck, he had to ask her. “So what’s got you so excited?”

  She blew out a breath and her smile dimmed. “Doctor Cricket made me see something from a different angle. I’d been holding onto a lot of shame—”

  “Shame! What in the hell would you have anything to feel shameful about?”

  “Nic, just drive the car, would you?”

  “Truck, baby. It’s a
truck.”

  “Whatever, just drive it.”

  He knew he was coming on too strong and he needed to dial it back. He gave her a sideways look. “I don’t think you appreciate how important a man’s truck is to his self-image.”

  “Maybe you’re the one who needs to see Doctor Cricket,” she giggled.

  Giggling was good. It was very good.

  “Fish and chips?”

  “Oh man, that sounds wonderful. I didn’t eat much at breakfast.”

  “You never do before a counseling appointment,” he reminded her. God, it was good to see her looking so good. This reminded him of the bubbly old Cami from high school.

  He got them to one of his favorite restaurants in no time, and he wasn’t surprised to see Camilla receive some admiring glances from some of the male patrons as they walked to their table. He wanted to put an arm around her waist and let everyone know that she was his, but she still hadn’t given him that right and it was eating away at him. He knew she wanted to take things slow, and he needed to respect that, but he knew what he wanted.

  They both ordered fish and chips and looked out over the water. “So do you want to talk about your session?” Nic asked quietly.

  “Not here, but yeah. Let’s wait until we get home.”

  Home. Fuck, he loved that she was calling his place home.

  She buttered a roll and took a delicate bite. “But, there is something I want to talk to you about.”

  “Okay.”

  “Your letters.”

  Dammit!

  He nodded carefully. “Did you want to know what I said in them?”

  “I think we’ve covered that,” she whispered, then put her left hand in her lap and looked down. She looked back up at him, tears sparkling on her eyelashes. “I wish I could have read them, I imagine they were beautiful.”

  “Ah honey, don’t cry. Like I said, that’s behind us. We’re here now. We’re going to focus on the future.”

  “Did you know Mother’s been calling? She said that some of her colleagues have been asking about me, and she wants me to come home so she can assure them I’m all right.”

  What a bitch.

  “No, I didn’t know she’d been calling.” This time he put his hands on his lap so she wouldn’t see his clenched fists.

  “She did it, didn’t she? You said you sent the letters the summer after my junior year of college. You sent them to their house because you knew I’d be there, right?”

  He clenched his jaw and nodded.

  “I don’t think Dad did it; that would have required action on his part, but he would have agreed with mother’s decision to send them back to you.”

  Camilla was sitting up ramrod straight, her eyes boring into his, daring him to disagree with her. “But you’ve known this for a while, right?”

  He nodded again. What else could he say?

  “When? When did you guess?”

  “Pretty much when you told me you didn’t get the letters,” he admitted.

  This time it was her turn to nod. It was so regal. “You would have let me think you were a liar before throwing the blame on my parents, wouldn’t you?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah hell, I don’t know. Pretty quick you said you knew I wasn’t a liar, so it was a moot point.”

  “Here’s your food.”

  He and Camilla looked up and thanked the waitress for their lunch. After she walked away, they didn’t give their plates a second glance; instead, they continued to look at one another.

  Nic reached out. “Give me your hand Cami.”

  When she put her hand in his, he laced their fingers together. “What can I do to help?” he asked.

  “I don’t know. This isn’t something for Doctor Cricket. I don’t want to get into mommy issues with her. I’ve been coping with them for fucking years. Up ‘til now, I thought I was through the worst of it, but leave it to her to go lower.” Her laugh was bitter.

  “You can share my mom if you want. She already adores you.”

  “Thanks,” Camilla said softly. Then she sighed and he watched as she gathered herself up and somehow produced a smile.

  “Hey, you don’t have to fake a smile for me,” he admonished.

  She squeezed his hand. “I’m not. I promise. This has been something I needed to talk to you about, and I’m so glad it’s out in the open, so I’m happier now, truly.”

  Nic looked deeply into her blue eyes and saw that she really was smiling.

  “You amaze me, Cami.”

  Her smile got bigger. “In that case, let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

  He nodded.

  Her shoulder was really hurting, but there wasn’t a chance in hell she was going to take a pill before having this next talk with Nic. She could tell he was bracing for something big, and she wanted to be able to explain things correctly, which was going to be tough since she would basically be explaining a bunch of illogical emotions.

  “Honey, are you planning to rip the stuffing out of that pillow?”

  Camilla looked down and saw that she had actually picked at one of the threads on Nic’s sofa pillows and was now plucking at the stuffing. She thrust it away from her.

  “I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed.

  “Forget about it,” he said as he sat down next to her. He took her left hand in both of his. “We can talk about anything. Absolutely anything. You know that, right?”

  She took a deep shuddering breath. “Yeah, yeah I do. But you’re going to be mad at this one.” For a second she gave him a smile. “Mad at me,” she clarified. “Not my mother.”

  “Ah, you caught that, did you?”

  “I might have caught on that my mother is not one of your favorite people, yeah.”

  He rubbed her cold hand. “You’re stalling.”

  “I know.” She blew out a deep breath, then looked him in the eye. “This is going to seem so warped, so don’t be mad at me, okay?”

  “I promise not to be mad at you no matter what, okay honey?”

  “Okay. Oh yeah, and don’t interrupt me. Can you do that?”

  He leaned over and brushed a kiss against her temple. “You look like you’re going to shatter apart, Cami. Can I ask you a favor?”

  She stared at him for a moment, then finally nodded.

  “Can I hold you in my arms while you tell me?”

  That sounded like heaven. “But how would that work, with my shoulder and everything?”

  “Is that a yes?”

  She nodded.

  “Okay, leave the logistics to me, baby.”

  He let go of her hand and stood up. Then he gently lifted her into his arms and went over to the big, winged-back chair near the fireplace and sat down, settling her softly onto his lap. He was careful to keep her left side close to his chest. She looked up at him in wonder.

  “This feels really nice.”

  “Yes it does, baby.”

  She took a few minutes to snuggle closer until she was finally settled in a way that she liked. He felt so good, and she felt safe. Okay, she could do this. She looked at the front of his chest since she couldn’t meet his eyes.

  “I know you guys were out in the jungle when that man cut off my shirt and was…was…” her breath started coming out faster.

  “Slow down honey. Take a deep breath.”

  “Did you?” she asked. Her left hand clutched at his t-shirt. “Did you?” she asked again.

  “Did I what, honey?”

  “Did you? Were you?” She looked up at him finally, her face white. “Did you see what happened to me?”

  Now it was Nic’s turn to take a deep breath. “Yes, I did. I wish I could have saved you from those minutes in that animal’s hands, but I couldn’t,” he bit out. He looked so anguished.

  Her shuddering stopped as she gave him a sharp look. “What are you talking about? Your team saved me.”

  “You spent at least four long minutes under that fucker’s hands. I counted every second, Cami. Fo
ur long minutes where I couldn’t take the shot.”

  “Take the shot? But wouldn’t that have ruined everything if you had? Didn’t you all have to be quiet and do a surprise kind of thing?”

  He nodded.

  “So even though it was supposed to be a surprise, your team still risked the whole mission to save me and Lisa.”

  “Of course we did! We just had to do it quietly. And I’ll regret that to my dying day.”

  “Oh Nic, maybe my thing isn’t so bad now. When I tell you, maybe we can let go of our regrets, our shames, together.”

  “Again, baby, what do you have to feel ashamed about? You have never, ever done anything wrong in your entire life.”

  “Here’s the part where I don’t want you to interrupt, okay?”

  “You have my word.”

  He so wanted to just kiss her and hold her and keep her safe forever, but if all she wanted was for him to listen without interrupting, of course, he could do that.

  “All the time we were kidnapped, I kept thinking these kids were my responsibility. I was the teacher, I needed to do something—anything—to take care of them, to keep them safe. I tried so hard to protect them, even when they irritated me, I promise you I did.” Her voice started to wobble. “Like when we would have to do our business, our bathroom business in the jungle, Lisa and I would try to make it so the guards couldn’t see the girls.”

  What about you? Who protected and guarded you?

  “Sometimes they would make grabs at us, and I’d try to stop them. I’d put myself in between the younger girls, you know?” She looked up at him pleadingly, and he nodded. He could so see her doing just that, but how much abuse did she end up heaping on herself?

  “But the night we were tied up in front of the church, El Jefe said we were supposed to be left alone, just guarded.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Yeah, like that happened. I heard Lisa cry out at the other end of the row. She was in pain. I heard men’s laughter. I was frantic to try to help her. So me with my genius brain, I called out. I figured I could get them away from Lisa if I caused a ruckus, right? She’d be safe. What part of figuring out one woman for each man could the genius not have figured out? How could I have been so stupid? Or was I? Maybe I was just wanting that attention. Maybe I was jealous of Lisa.”