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This Has Been Absolutely Lovely

Page 33

by Jessica Dettmann


  Molly put out her hand and Annie twirled her onto the dance floor. The music was cheesy disco, and she laughed at Paul’s and Brian’s swing dance moves, and Simon playing air saxophone. Sunny and Felix jumped in time to the music, shouting the word ‘together’ whenever the lyric required it, and quite often when it didn’t. Naomi twisted her body with her eyes half-closed, like she was on acid, and Diana danced with tiny sharp steps, moving her hands like she was describing a box in the air, hinting at a Berlin clubbing past none of them would have imagined she had. Jack stood to the side, bouncing at the knees with Petula in a sling, and Patrick danced an awkward side-to-side shuffle next to him until Jane hauled him into the middle and danced at him in a terrifying fashion, like a little voguing robot.

  When the song finished, Annie slipped off the dance floor as ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’, the wedding classic, began. She spotted Justin at the bar and headed over to him.

  ‘You look hot,’ he said.

  ‘You don’t look half bad yourself.’

  ‘This is pretty great,’ he said, gesturing with his glass at the dancers and the lights, the people drinking and laughing.

  ‘I know,’ agreed Annie. ‘Who even knew they had this many friends in Sydney? Justin, do you fancy selling a house?’

  Justin’s head whipped around. ‘This house?’

  She nodded.

  ‘I’d love to,’ he said. ‘Why?’

  ‘Time to move on. It’s been absolutely lovely living here, but it no longer suits the family’s needs. I’m going to divide up the money among my kids, so they can go off and sort themselves out in all the various ways they need to.’

  ‘Have you told them?’ he asked. ‘Is that why everyone’s so bloody elated this evening?’

  ‘No,’ said Annie. ‘I haven’t said anything. I think they’re all just genuinely happy. How often does that happen?’

  Justin leaned over and kissed her. ‘I hope you’re staying around.’

  ‘I’m heading overseas for a bit. To LA. I’ll miss you. We’ve had a lot of fun, haven’t we?’

  ‘We have. I’ve never met anyone like you.’

  ‘Thank you,’ said Annie. ‘I hope you do, though — meet someone else like me. Because we’re good together, but I’d rather you had someone like me, but twenty years younger. You too could have all this!’ She gestured at her family.

  ‘That would make me very happy,’ he replied, seriously. ‘Your family are quite something.’

  ‘They are, aren’t they?’ agreed Annie, looking at the three generations in their finery, flinging themselves about on the patio, mimicking each other’s dance moves and collapsing with laughter. ‘They are quite something.’

  Acknowledgements

  First things first: this book wouldn’t be in your hands if it weren’t for the wonder that is Kate O’Donnell. Katie, calling you the editor of this book is like calling Ma Anand Sheela the secretary of Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh. You were the editor, the midwife, the paramedic, the mental health crisis team, the cheerleader, the bartender, the makeup artist, the Jane, the caterer’s wife, the spiritual advisor and much more besides. I love you and I thank you from the bottom of the bottom of my heart for your endless hard work, inspiration, help, and friendship.

  Now, while Katie chose to be there for me and for the book, there were three people who couldn’t escape being present for it. Truckloads of thanks are due to my family for putting up with the writing (and the writer) of this book.

  My husband, Drew Truslove, and my children, Teddy and April: you are the reason I write. I mean that in a nice way. Your support of my work, your pride in it, and the love you heap on me – these are things I couldn’t do without. I love you the most that anyone ever loved anyone else.

  Nor could I manage without your forbearance: the songs that inspired this book have been on constant rotation in our home and car for two years and you have endured more Petula Clark and ABBA than it is reasonable to ask anyone to put up with. I think we’re even now, April, for the road-trip when you, at the age of two, made us listen to Feist’s song ‘1234’ for six hours in a row.

  Jessica Tory, thank you for your love and support. You are an inspiration to me, and so much of what I think and write comes from moments we’ve spent together. It’s time for us to go back to Scandiland, I think.

  Thanks to my parents, Nick Dettmann and Carol Dettmann, for their love and support, and thanks for not asking not a word about this book while I was writing, and instead offering up cups of coffee, morning chats, and the use of your home to write in.

  Thanks to my brother who reads my books and my brother who doesn’t but proofreads the acknowledgements: you know who you are.

  Thanks to Kathy Lette, Sally Hepworth and Joanna Nell for their generous cover quotes; to Joshua Dowling for help with questions of police procedure; to Megan Washington for answering my questions about songwriting; and to Richard Cooke for being my occasional study buddy at the State Library of New South Wales.

  Sarah Darmody, Ariela Bard, Louise Pounder, Ellie Parker and Amy Maiden: thank you for reading drafts of the book, and for your feedback, encouragement, friendship and food. Amy Kersey, thank you for the food and love.

  Thanks to Jo Butler, who sold this book when it was no more than a lie I told about having an idea for a second book. And thanks to Pippa Masson at Curtis Brown Australia for taking me on for the next stage of the journey where I lie about book ideas.

  To my publisher, Anna Valdinger: thanks for your patience with me and with the book. Some of these characters needed some serious wrangling and our discussions got me there. And thanks again for believing I could write two books before there was any evidence I could even write one.

  The team at HarperCollins Australia operated, as always, like a well-oiled machine. A successful publishing machine, not, like, a jaffle maker. Madeleine James, thanks for your wise and helpful editorial input, and thanks to Pamela Dunne for her keen proofreading eye. Hazel Lam, once again your cover design delighted me and made me so confident to send the book out into the world. My marketing and publicity team, Alice Woods and Kimberley Allsopp: thank you for getting the book in front of the eyes of the right people.

  And finally, to everyone who bought, sold, borrowed or stole my first book or this one: thank you. You’re all my secret friends now, forever.

  About the Author

  JESSICA DETTMANN is a Sydney-based writer and performer. Her blog, Life With Gusto, turns a sharp but affectionate eye on modern parenthood. She has performed her work several times at Giant Dwarf’s Story Club, and has appeared on their podcast.

  After a decade working as an editor for Random House Australia and HarperCollins publishers she made the transition to writing after two small children rendered her housebound. She once appeared as the City of Sydney Christmas Angel and sat on top of the Town Hall in a frock that reached the street.

  Praise for Jessica Dettmann

  ‘Jessica Dettmann has an eye for the small details, irritations and inspirations of life which coupled with a truly original turn of phrase and great way with a gag makes for sparkling and heartwarming reading’ Ben Elton

  ‘Has a natural knack for humour’ Better Reading

  This Has Been Absolutely Lovely

  ‘Brilliantly observed, Jessica Dettmann’s portrayal of messy, modern family life is packed with delicious humour and balanced with moments of real poignancy. Her knack for writing sharp, witty dialogue makes for a hugely entertaining read. I adored it’ Joanna Nell, author of The Single Ladies of Jacaranda Retirement Village

  ‘With humour and heart, Dettmann weaves an unforgettable tale about the lives we choose, and the lives that choose us. Dettmann nails the funny, sad and bizarre nuances of family life in this gripping novel that will appeal to fans of Liane Moriarty, Jojo Moyes and Marian Keyes. I expect to see this everywhere this summer’ Sally Hepworth, author of The Mother-in-Law

  How to Be Second Best

  ‘Hilarious and hear
twarming . . . Part Marian Keyes page-turner, part Holly Wainwright local brilliance, this book is all too relatable for those who have found themselves at the supermarket or school drop-off wondering why they can’t quite get it together. Ultimate summer read’ Herald Sun

  ‘Full of funny moments, this debut takes a wry look at parenthood, divorce and the messy reality of blended families. ⋆⋆⋆⋆’ Who Weekly

  ‘Sharp and witty. An absolutely delightful, funny and touching read’ Nicola Moriarty, author of The Ex

  ‘A warm and witty novel filled with deliciously cringy comedic moments’ Kathy Lette

  ‘Heartwarming yet biting’ Sunday Telegraph

  ‘A diverting comic novel that bubbles along, buoyed by the author’s dry, conspiratorial feminist wit’ Sydney Morning Herald

  ‘Sharp and crisp and funny. I was dazzled’ Mia Freedman

  ‘Blends the family drama of Liane Moriarty with the humour of Sophie Kinsella . . . Light-hearted and playful on the surface, this is a skilful novel about loss, resilience and the parental struggle to do the best for one’s children’ Newtown Review of Books

  ‘A great beach read. Dettmann has hilariously captured the craziness and competitiveness of modern suburban parenthood’ ScatterBooker

  ‘A refreshing and honest depiction of the delirium of modern family life, its challenges and triumphs. Whilst this novel is undeniably laugh-out-loud funny, it is also incredibly heartwarming and real’ Better Reading

  Also by Jessica Dettmann

  How to Be Second Best

  How to Be Second Best

  A hilarious and heartwarming novel that captures the dramas, delights and delirium of modern family life.

  Going from one child to two is never easy for a family, but when Emma’s husband simultaneously fathers a third child with another woman, things get very tricky, very fast.

  Three years later, Emma is no longer trying to be the best wife and mother — now she has to be the best ex-wife, and the best part-time parent to her ex’s love child, and that’s before she even thinks about adding a new man to the mix.

  Set in an upwardly mobile, ultra-competitive suburb, this funny, biting, charming comedy looks at the roles we play, how we compete, and what happens when we dare to strive for second best.

  ‘Sharp and crisp and funny. I was dazzled’ — Mia Freedman ‘Ultimate summer read’ — Herald Sun

  Copyright

  This Guaranteed Great Read promotion expires on 1 July 2021.

  For full terms and conditions, and to make a claim, please go to www.harpercollins.com.au/guaranteedgreatread and complete the claim form. Email or post the completed form to us with your original receipt or a clearly legible scan/photo. Send to feedback@harpercollins.com.au or Marketing Department, Adult Books Division, HarperCollins Publishers Australia, PO Box A565, Sydney South NSW 1235.

  HarperCollinsPublishers

  Australia • Brazil • Canada • France • Germany • Holland • Hungary

  India • Italy • Japan • Mexico • New Zealand • Poland • Spain • Sweden

  Switzerland • United Kingdom • United States of America

  First published in Australia in 2021

  by HarperCollinsPublishers Australia Pty Limited

  Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street, Sydney NSW 2000

  ABN 36 009 913 517

  harpercollins.com.au

  Copyright © Jessica Dettmann 2021

  The right of Jessica Dettmann to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright Amendment (Moral Rights) Act 2000.

  This work is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced, copied, scanned, stored in a retrieval system, recorded, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

  HarperCollinsPublishers

  Level 13, 201 Elizabeth Street, Sydney, NSW 2000, Australia

  Unit D1, 63 Apollo Drive, Rosedale 0632, Auckland, New Zealand

  A 75, Sector 57, Noida, Uttar Pradesh 201 301, India

  1 London Bridge Street, London SE1 9GF, United Kingdom

  Bay Adelaide Centre, East Tower, 22 Adelaide Street West, 41st Floor, Toronto, Ontario, M5H 4E3, Canada

  195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007, USA

  ISBN 978 1 4607 5598 3 (paperback)

  ISBN 978 1 4607 1001 2 (ebook)

  A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of Australia.

  The quote Annie thinks of on page 135 is taken from Enemies of Promise

  (George Routledge & Sons: 1938) by Cyril Connolly.

  Cover design by Hazel Lam, HarperCollins Design Studio

  Cover images by shutterstock.com

 

 

 


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