He's Just a Friend

by J. Nichole

  With her hand atop mine, she whispered, “I know Josiah, I know.” Before I left, I watched her finish half the sandwich and she promised, “I’m going to get out today.”

  “Call my mom,” I offered. “I think she’d be happy to get out and about with you.” She nodded. After cleaning our plates I told her, “I’ll call to check on you later.” She walked me to the door and thanked me for visiting.

  On my way home, my phone dinged a few times with text messages.

  Skylar clearly had heard from Tony, and I laughed at the memes she sent of women dancing.

  Skylar: About damn time!

  Then a message from Brooklyn thanking me again for checking on her mom. I clicked the call button next to her name, and she sounded exhausted when she answered, “Hello.”

  “Almost done for the day?” I asked, hoping her day was over and I could convince her to come chill with me.

  “Yes, finally,” she said between yawns. “I didn’t think the day would ever end.” I asked her about her plans for the night. “I think I’ll soak in the bath then lay on the couch and watch TV.” She chuckled as I imagined, for the first time ever, what she’d look like completely naked.

  “Sounds like we are getting old.” She agreed. “Feel like company?” I asked, although before I would have just knocked on her door.

  “You know you can come over whenever you want,” she said confidently.

  “Be there soon,” I said before we hung up.

  Nine

  Brooklyn

  “What? Were you waiting outside?” I asked as I opened the door and tugged my robe snug around my bare chest.

  He shook his head and said, “I hadn’t made it all the way home from your mom’s place yet.”

  I walked towards my room and told him, “Well make yourself comfortable. I may be a while.” I stretched my back and tugged on my robe. “I need to soak.” Soak I did. I damn near fell asleep in the tub, only waking when the water became chilly. “Shoot,” I said as I grabbed a towel and stepped out.

  Fortunately, it was just Josiah so I didn’t need to get fully dressed. I pulled a t-shirt and a pair of shorts from my dresser and pulled it on. “Find a movie,” I yelled as I pulled my bonnet onto my head. When I finally made it out of my bedroom, I saw Josiah stretched out on my couch. “Scoot over,” I said as I wedged myself next to him.

  He sat up and stared at me before he scooted over, giving me space. “I almost fell asleep you were in there so long. I know your skin has to be rubbery now.” He grabbed my hand and examined my fingertips.

  “But I hopped out as soon as that chill kicked in.” We both laughed. “You aren’t upset about Alana are you?” Since he had been ghost all week, I assumed he had been home sulking. His head snapped back and he shook it feverishly. “No? Not even a little bit?”

  “Naw, not at all.” He turned towards the TV and said, “Wonder how her hike with Marcus went.” I wrinkled my nose. I didn’t even want to think about that damn hike, or Marcus. “You still messed up about him?” I shook my head. I was at first, came home pissed and in my feelings. The next day, when he and Alana were probably out hiking, I was over it. “I think I just needed that one last gut check.”

  “Now we’re both single.” I shrugged. “First time in…” He paused.

  “Forever. Maybe like high school.” I thought back to the girls who used to be all over him, and the few he made his girlfriend. Then to the couple of guys I dated in high school, then in college. “The two of us on the prowl together.” I shook my head. “The city ain’t even ready for all that.” I found an action movie on Netflix and asked, “Wanna watch this?”

  “Naw.” I looked at him with my head cocked. He was an action movie aficionado. I asked if he had watched it already. “I mean, yeah we can watch this but I’m saying naw, I don’t want to be on the prowl.”

  I laughed. “Over it already?” He shook his head and I gave up. “Okay,” I said pressing play on the movie, effectively ending that discussion. We watched the movie, my body tensing with each action scene.

  “You okay?” He rubbed my arm. I nodded my head as the car flew over a crowd of people and landed on its wheels to continue the chase. “You over there flinching like it’s real life.” I laughed but didn’t know why I was on edge. I could usually watch an action movie and, no matter how good, just be chill.

  My stomach growled and that had to explain my nerves. “Maybe I’m just hungry.” Josiah looked to the kitchen and I said, “And I probably have a piece of bread and maybe peanut butter.”

  “Pizza?” he suggested and although I would have preferred something more wholesome, I nodded my head. “When are you going to start cooking, or at least keeping groceries in the house?” he asked, and it felt like he was judging my life.

  “Same time you stop being so worried about my eating habits.” I stuck my tongue out at him and his face remained unfazed. He explained that it would never happen. “Well,” I said poking him in the side. “Guess it’ll never happen,” I repeated his words, mocking him.

  Josiah wasn’t the same though. He thought he could fool me about not being messed up about his breakup, but I knew there was something wrong. Maybe it wasn’t the breakup. “Josiah,” I said pausing the movie. He shifted on the couch to face me completely. “Something is up. What’s going on?”

  He took a deep breath and exhaled it slowly through his closed teeth making a hissing noise. “Oh shit,” I said, feeling like he was about to release some heavy shit.

  “When Alana broke up with me,” he said slowly, pausing after each word. I sat up on the couch placing my feet on the ground. I was ready to whoop her ass if she offended my best friend. I played cordial with her, allowed her to just swoop in and steal my boyfriend, but fucking with my best friend was the last straw. “She told me it was because I was in love with you.” Our eyes connected and it felt like my own heart dropped to my stomach.

  I quickly came to his defense. “Why would she think some crazy shit like that? We’ve been best friends for forever, and that’s all we’ve ever been.” I continued to ramble till he placed a hand to my arm.

  “She may be right.” I looked down at his hand on my arm. Never had I ever considered Josiah someone I would be with romantically. From the day we met, he was that awkward kid on the block who needed to grow into his head. Not cute at all. And although he was the sweetest kid I knew, he lacked that bad boy vibe I was digging back then. By the time he grew into his looks, it was too late; he was in the friend zone and there was no turning back from that.

  How’d I live if it didn’t work out and I lost him as a best friend? I would just cease to exist. For that reason, any feelings that ever tried to creep up got pushed down into the deepest crevices of my thoughts. I warned them to never come out again, to just chill, and stop trying to ruin things.

  “Brooklyn,” he said shifting on the couch. “I know we are best friends, but what if…” He tried to explain the rationale that I had long dismissed. “What if we could be lovers? And we unlocked some superior level of romance. One that was what we both had been waiting for our whole lives.”

  “And what if it doesn’t work,” I rebutted. “How’d we just go back to being friends?” I shook my head ‘cause I knew it wouldn’t work. Hell, I knew that if shit wouldn’t work with Marcus, it damn sure wouldn’t work with Josiah. “It could ruin us,” I declared.

  “Or it couldn’t,” he argued. We stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. Neither of us speaking another word. I don’t know what he was thinking, but my mind went into overdrive. What if it worked? But what if it didn’t? Was I even attracted to him after all these years, like that? Or was he like a brother, one I could never be intimate with? How would we be with Skylar and Tony? Would it change the whole Art Crew?

  “What about the Art Crew?” Josiah looked at me like I had suddenly grown another head. “How would we all kick it together if we were a couple?”

  His nose wrinkled, and he said, “S
ame way we do now.” I thought through our night at the club and thought about how it’d be different if Josiah were checking for me while Skylar and me were dancing, and then I realized he was. He came to my rescue when dude grabbed my ass. I looked at him, now confused. Was Alana right? Had he been hiding these feelings for a while now?

  “I’ve spent the whole week doing what you’re doing now,” he said. “I’ve thought about if I had these feelings, or not. And what would happen if you didn’t, and I told you. Then what would happen if we did try and it didn’t work?” He laughed. “I didn’t think about the Art Crew though.”

  I laughed ‘cause I knew how much he hated to call ourselves the Art Crew. And maybe it was ridiculous that it was even on my mind. But the reality was if we dated, everything could change. “And what’d you conclude?”

  He laid his head back on the couch then he looked at me again. “I hadn’t till I came over here.” His smile lines were gone and his forehead was creased, the way it did when he was thinking too hard. “And now that I’m here, with you, like this”—he pointed to the couch and tugged on my bonnet—“I’m willing to try. If I don’t, then I’ll never know what could have happened.”

  There was a knock at the door. Thankfully, Josiah hopped up because I was paralyzed. My thoughts were drowning out my ability to move. I watched as he placed the box of pizza on the counter then he said, “I’m going to head home.” Like that, he opened the door again and walked out.

  I sat there staring at the back of the door. I didn’t move although the smell of pizza was invading my senses. My mind kept toying with the idea of being with Josiah, or not. Then I was pissed that it was Alana who put us in this position. Had she kept her thoughts to herself, we wouldn’t even have to be thinking about it. The idea would have stayed buried for forever.

  Ten

  Josiah

  Not only did I have to be in the office for a random team meeting, but I hadn’t heard from Brooklyn since leaving her house. So yeah, I was sitting in my chair with a mean mug when my co-worker Alice asked, “Josiah, you alright?”

  I shrugged. The truth was I was steaming. Each time my phone vibrated I thought it’d be a message from Brooklyn, or a call. Instead, it would be a meme or joke from Skylar or Tony. Then a message from Skylar reminding us that we were coming to the city for a visit. That weekend. I didn’t consider any of that when I poured my heart out to Brooklyn on her couch. When I told her I hadn’t considered the Art Crew, ‘cause the truth was, I hadn’t. I didn’t even think about the fact that we’d all have to be together again at some point, definitely not that next weekend.

  I considered backing out of the trip. But coming up with a valid excuse was tough, they knew me too well. Couldn’t lie and say I had to work, or was sick, and damn sure couldn’t tell them the truth.

  When the meeting finally wrapped, I walked out of the office knowing nothing about the new concepts, or the other projects going on in the office. I did know that I had to talk to Brooklyn before the weekend, or it was going to be hella weird.

  On my way home, I stopped by the grocery store and walked over to the fresh flower section. I’d passed it often while shopping but never stopped and actually grabbed a bouquet of flowers. As I looked over the different variations, I shook my head because none of my past girlfriends received flowers. I was trash. But for Brooklyn, she deserved better.

  I grabbed a bouquet of differing red flowers, the only identifiable flower, to me, was the rose. But the bouquet was dope. I checked out and made my way to the salon.

  The bouquet was at my side, hopefully out of direct eyesight as I walked into the salon. The salon wasn’t as packed as it was on the weekends, but there were a few ladies in the shop. One in her chair talking to Brooklyn. She had her laughing between pats to her hair.

  I cleared my throat and Brooklyn made eye contact with me through the mirror in front of her. “Hey there, Josiah,” she said with a smile. I smiled back and walked to an empty seat, not wanting to interfere with her and the client in her chair. “What’s up?” she asked, almost as if she’d forgotten our conversation a few days earlier.

  “Had to go into the office today,” I said nonchalantly. Her nose wrinkled. I had complained to her many times about going into the office for pointless meetings.

  “Alright, you’re good,” she said to the client. The client leaned over and hugged her, whispering into her ear before walking out and waving at me. Before she moved to the next client, I glided in front of her and presented her with the flowers. “Wow. Those are gorgeous.” She reached for them. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” I waited for her to find a place for the flowers before I reminded her of the plans for the weekend. “Are you still going with us to visit Skylar?” She smirked and I should have known she wouldn’t have missed it. “Right,” I declared. “Maybe we can go out for dinner this week, before we leave.” I wanted to clear the air before we had to have Skylar and Tony’s two-cents on the matter.

  She wagged her head. “If you give me about two hours, we can go tonight.” I nodded and told her I’d be back to scoop her up. “Deal.” She put her arms out and I was surprised she was giving me a hug. But why? She always gave me a hug. The best hugs. I leaned into her, and maybe the hug lingered longer than our typical hugs. Maybe I sniffed her scent and noticed her lavender body wash. “See you in a bit,” she said as she pulled away.

  I walked out of the salon, headed home to clean myself up. But before I could get to my car, I saw one of my exes, Tessa. “Hello, Josiah,” she said with a tight-lipped grin.

  “Tessa, hey,” I said trying to continue beyond her. I knew she was a client of Brooklyn’s when we dated, briefly. She was sexy, driven, and successful, but ol’ girl was crazy as shit.

  She stepped in front of me and said, “I heard you are recently single.” She leaned into me and her hand went to my crotch. “Feel free to call me.” I backed away and my head snapped back.

  “I’m good. Thanks,” I said, shaking my head as I stepped around her to continue to my car. How she heard about me and Alana, I’d never know. When we dated, I learned she was crazy because she always knew details I never gave her. At one point, Tony joked that she had my place bugged. Now, I kinda thought she might.

  By the time I pulled back up to the salon to scoop up Brooklyn, I was feeling myself. I changed into a more comfortable outfit—jeans, polo, and sneakers. I even made time to shave because I knew how much Brooklyn would notice if I didn’t.

  I knocked on her apartment door above the salon when I saw it was now empty. She opened the door and my gaze fell to her hair, fresh curls. “Boy did you leave a mess behind earlier,” she said as she pulled the door closed and locked it.

  I shook my head as I had started to examine her outfit, the dress she was wearing. I’d seen it before but never had I ever caught her curves like I did now. Her ass was sitting high, and I wondered how I could have even missed it before. “Josiah,” she said looking back over her shoulder.

  “Huh?” I asked as she looked at me and repeated herself. “You must be talking about Tessa,” I said with a smirk. Her grin turned into a scowl. “That woman is crazy. I may have to do a sweep of my apartment; she knew I was single. Like how would she know all that?”

  I continued until Brooklyn stopped me. “No, like for real, she has issues.” I opened the passenger door and Brooklyn looked at me with her head cocked. Nope, I didn’t really open her door before. Not unless we were like walking to a building and she was behind me, I’d hold the door open. But car doors, that was new.

  “What’d she say?” I asked as I climbed into the driver’s seat.

  “First of all she came into the shop talking about you. Like not even checking who was in the shop first.” I could imagine Tessa being over the top, ‘cause that’s who she was, unnecessarily dramatic. “Then when she saw the flowers you brought me, she asked who they were from.” Brooklyn started to laugh, and so hard that it made me chuckle just listening
to her. “You should have seen her face when my client responded for me.”

  “Oh snap,” was all I could say as I pulled into the parking lot of one of the very few fine-dining establishments in our small town.

  Brooklyn placed her hand on top of mine and said, “You know, you were a hoe.” My eyes bulged at her characterization. “I mean, I knew you were a hoe before, but now, now that…” She paused. “It’s just more apparent now.”

  “First of all, I’m not a hoe. This town is just too damn small.” Her brows scrunched together. “I’m not out here spreading myself thin to multiple women at a time.” I looked at her and watched as her mouth turned from a scowl to a grin. “What?”

  “It’s cool. I get it. You’ve just had super short relationships.” I wasn’t like her. I didn’t waste my time with women if it wasn’t right, and it was never right.

  “I hope we can change that pattern.” I winked and opened my door. I opened hers too. And as we walked to the restaurant, she mentioned it. “I have to charm you, before I can give you all the goods.” She laughed and tapped my arm.

  The restaurant had a couple of other couples dining, but otherwise it was what I’d expect for a mid-week visit. I followed behind her and the hostess as we were led to our table. “How’s Mama Davison doing?” I asked as we looked over the menu.

  Brooklyn lowered her menu and said, “Something about your visit changed her mood. Phoenix called me that night and told me she was out and about, then came back laughing and talking with her.” I smiled. Having her mom back to life would be good for them, they needed her back. “I’m just hoping it sticks. Otherwise, I’m afraid when Phoenix graduates she’ll find a job on the other side of the country.”

  “You think she could leave y’all like that?” Her side-eye told me she could. “I hope she doesn’t. I’m glad your mom is doing better though.”

  “What’d you say to her?” I told her it was grown folks’ business. “Whatever.” We ordered our entrees from the server before the conversation got heavy. “Josiah, why now?”