“What?” I screeched.
The red light barely caught my attention as I slammed on the brakes and shoved a finger in my ear for a good wiggle. I had to have heard him wrong. I was bottom of the rung, low end of the food chain, practically invisible. Yeah, he had dinner at my house and we had our little tiff, but in no parallel universe did Rhys care if I went to a party or not.
“Rhys? The king of the school?” That might be a stretch but everywhere I saw that guy, girls were falling over him and guys were trying to be his friend. I’m pretty sure the new choir teacher swooned when he passed by her the other day in the hall.
“Yes! He is the top tier for sure. I may hate Trey, but Rhys is a whole other bag of cookies. Completely edible, white chocolate macadamia nut cookies.” He hummed in appreciation.
“He’s pretentious and he doesn’t police Trey at all. If he’s such a big deal at school, shouldn’t he take responsibility and do something about his asshole behavior?” He seemed like an okay guy, but if he wasn’t willing to correct the wrongs of his cousin, he couldn’t be that great. And I wasn’t talking about a random punch in the hallway. I’d seen Trey around school and he was the same douche every day. If Rhys cared to do anything about it, he would… I don’t know, but it would be nice if he could at least appear to make an effort.
Ryan laid his hand over mine at the steering wheel, where my knuckles had whitened from my grip.
“Easy there, killer. He’s not so bad. I don’t know what the deal is with him and his cousin, but he’s always been nice to me. Even when other people were trying to make me feel less than the candy wrapper on the sidewalk. That makes him okay in my book.” Some of the sassiness left his voice. He really did believe Rhys was a good guy.
I still wasn’t convinced.
A small pang dinged around in my chest. Ryan was openly gay and thriving now, but it hadn’t started out that way. It made me wish I could have been here to be his friend when he really needed one.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that. I’m glad he wasn’t a jerk to you.”
He blew a harsh breath from between his teeth and fell back onto the seat.
“Man, I was all excited because he was asking about you, thinking maybe he’d be good for you. I didn’t realize you had such a hate on for him.”
I sputtered and laughter escaped. “What are you talking about?”
“You got all worked up there. You don’t think there could be anything between the two of you? He was very curious. You don’t want to know what else he said about you?” He taunted in a singsong voice.
I was speechless. Utterly speechless. These types of conversations where we talked about boys I liked or boys that liked me were completely foreign. At the same time, a gnawing curiosity was tearing away at my self-control, and a small smile slipped onto my face.
“Aha. You do want to know. I can tell from your secretive little smile, that regardless of what you think about him as a person, you want to jump his bones. Or bone.”
“Ryan! I do not.” He snorted. “Okay, I’d have to be dying of a deadly, pus-oozing disease and I’d still have to admit he’s hot.” My mouth formed awkwardly around the admission, but what the hell. I spoke truth.
“I’ll have to take you to watch a hockey practice sometime. And all that aggression is really good for the soul. I mean our greedy little souls, not theirs.”
We laughed and it felt really good. Normal. I had a normal friend. There was no way I could stop the glowing smile that spread across my face. Too bad Ryan took it as my love of Rhys.
“I told him, why yes, you would be there with me every step of the way. He then proceeded to tell me that maybe he would see us there. Isn’t that awesome?” His excitement was too loud for the small enclosure of Freda.
I almost lost an eardrum from the strength of his yell.
“That’s the whole conversation? He asked if I was going and that he might see us there? I don’t get it. It sounds like just a regular conversation.” Ryan had some kind of superpower to read his mind if he pulled more from his words other than friendly small talk.
“Ugh. What are we going to do with you? Don’t you know that in hot guy speak, he practically proclaimed his undying love and asked you out all at once?” His hands flailed with each word.
We pulled up outside of his house and I put the car into park.
“I love you, Ryan. You are the best, and only friend I have at this school. But I don’t know what that means. And I’m not convinced that’s accurate. And I’m going to work on my portfolio anyway, so I won’t have time for him.” I leaned my head on the headrest and turned toward him. From his expression, he hadn’t liked what I said.
“You’re hopeless. Absolutely hopeless. I want that for you. To get a kickass portfolio and get a sweet ride to college. But I also want you to experience crushes and be crushed on. I’m already too cynical. Let me live vicariously through you.” He pouted like that was going to sway me.
And honestly, it kind of did.
I sighed. “We’ll see how it plays out. It’s not like you don’t have Pat for your puppy love infatuation.”
“That works for me. And did you hear me say I’m too cynical? You’re this innocent dove flapping through your teenage years, untouched by the hard truths of love. I want to experience that first blush with you… Call me later and tell me if your mom bought the story. And just in case you didn’t put it together until now. Rhys said he’d see you there, so it’s technically not a lie now.” Ryan slammed the door and waved over his shoulder as he strutted up the sidewalk.
Shaking my head in both exasperation and happiness, I pulled away and drove home. His misconceptions of my life were sad and insanely inaccurate, but I’d let him keep them. I had other things to do anyway. It was time to see how much Mother Dearest really thought of dad’s work associates.
For once, both of my parents were home at the same time. It always seems like one was working or the other was out at some kind of church event. Which, it looked like they were on their way out somewhere classy. Dad was straightening out his tie in the hall mirror, and Mother Dearest was putting her earrings on as she stomped down the hallway.
Yeesh. Maybe now wasn’t the best time to bring up the party. It was tomorrow night anyway, so there was time. Seeing the steam practically rise out of her ears was not conducive to a calm and reasonable conversation.
Dad’s head jerked up as soon as the door closed behind me.
“Hey there, Astrid. What are you up to tonight?” He smiled like he was the loving father everyone at church believed him to be. Like the father I wished he was.
“Not much, I’m going to study tonight.” And I was. Just not what he thought I was going to study.
“That’s fantastic. You’re really doing your old man proud.” He walked over and grabbed my shoulders in an affectionate squeeze.
It shouldn’t have felt good, hearing this little bit of praise from him. Not when so many other times he’d shown with his actions that I was an accessory, a living puppet for them to control. But it did. It warmed my chest to hear him say he was proud of me. And how fucked up was that? He was proud over something that wasn’t even true. Over a lie. And this time, I was the liar.
“Thanks, Dad.” I mumbled and dropped my gaze. If I made eye contact too long, would he see my lie?
“I’ll be proud when you get into one of the colleges we’re shooting for. It will be a miracle for you to get a scholarship to those places with your math grades. You make that happen and it will actually mean something.” My mother sneered.
That warm feeling in my chest twisted into something ugly. I hated how she thought I was stupid. How she wanted me to know it. How she reveled in my miserable existence. But most of all, I hated her. And that feeling of self-preservation I clung to so often, disappeared in the wake of my fury. Reckless was my new name now. Risk taker. And I was going to push her to get my way.
“I’ll try my best, Mom. Hey, tomorrow night I
’d like to hang out with Rhys. Would that be okay?” I peeked at my dad through my lashes to gauge his reaction. Mother Dearest was clearly not pleased, her lips pressing into a tight thin line. There was a completely different reaction from Dad. He stood a little straighter and the skin around his eyes crinkled in satisfaction.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Astrid. You can invite him over here if you want to see him.” She checked herself out in the mirror, swiping away mascara under her eye.
“I could, he just wanted to introduce me to some people at school since I don’t really know anyone.” I shrugged like I could go either way.
My dad pulled me into his side with his arm around my shoulders. The smell of his aftershave was comforting and foreign all at the same time. He hadn’t hugged me since the end of last year at least.
“Now, now, Trina. What’s wrong with her hanging out with Stan’s kid? I’m sure he’s raising good boys.”
The twitch under her left eye was the only outward sign that she was not fucking down with what he had to say.
“You really think that’s smart? Letting Astrid hang out with random boys we don’t know very well. Who knows what she’ll get up to without us there.”
Fuck you too, Mom. In my head I was flipping her the bird. Actually, I was flipping both birds with my hands going circles like bike pedals.
“Nonsense. She’ll be fine. Next time I talk to Stan, I’ll let him know how important Astrid and her safety is. He’ll make sure the boys understand.” Dad decreed. He settled the conversation with mom like they often did with me.
Oh snap, crackle, pop. I hadn’t seen that coming. Hopefully he would forget about this conversation and go back to ignoring me. If Mr. Bennett did mention this to his sons, I’d be found out for sure.
Mother Dearest speared me with a look that said don’t embarrass us, more than stay safe.
“I won’t do anything stupid, I promise.” I tried to reassure her, but it didn’t matter. I could hold a unicorn in my palm and she still wouldn’t believe me.
“We’re going to be late.” She breezed right past us and out the door without another word. The arm around my shoulders fell away awkwardly.
“We’ll be home later, don’t wait up.” He laughed uncomfortably.
“Have fun,” I finger waved like a weirdo and locked the door behind him.
So many times I had wondered why those two were still married. It was obvious they weren’t madly in love anymore, if they ever were. Maybe they both thrived on causing misery in each other’s lives.
It was six in the evening on Saturday, and I was starting to get antsy. My day had consisted of morning chores and then outside walks with my camera, taking pictures of anything and everything. I didn’t want to brag, but I was getting really good at this photo business.
Everything was my subject, and nothing was excluded. Dancing light, filtering down through the trees. Sassy squirrels with fluffy, luxurious tails. Even the weathered, sun spotted hands of one beautifully old couple sitting on a bench. For that particular shot, I used a long lens that Thatcher had packed for me. What a godsend. I was yards away, but the zoom quality was top notch. I never would have assumed the photographer was more than a few feet away.
Then came time to get ready. This was a bit harder. I’d never really been let out on the weekends or had friends that invited me anywhere, to care about dressing up. I’d only ever been to one dance and it was the worst experience ever.
Mother Dearest set me up with a boy from the church that had enough grease in his hair to fry pork chops and smelled like he moonlighted as a pizza delivery boy. Not that there was anything wrong with pizza. I loved pizza. I just didn’t find the smell arousing. If anything, I was hungry all night.
I’d gone through every possible combination in my closet and nothing said party. Nothing even said incognito. Every article of clothing that I owned was bright and cheery, like the boho girl I was at heart. I settled on dark wash skinny jeans and a flowy blouse. At least I’d be comfortable.
I’d tried to call Ryan at five, but he promptly schooled me that none of the cool kids emerged from their house until after eight at the earliest, then hung up on me.
Two long hours before Ryan showed up to get me, I did what any girl would do, and I went downstairs to grab a snack and watch a rerun of the old Sabrina.
I shouldn’t have worried about my parents, because neither was here tonight. They let me know earlier there was some kind of Bible retreat for the ladies and elders they were hosting in Idaho Springs. Hindsight and all that, but at least I knew when Mother Dearest would cave. And it was when Dad vouched for me. Only, I didn’t know how often that would be.
A loud banging on the front door jolted me out of a light sleep. The knocking continued as I swung up into a sitting position and grabbed my chest, trying to slow down the frantic pounding. I hated that feeling of being disoriented and the way my heart was making a bid to leave my chest.
“Astrid! Open up. It’s eight-thirty and it’s time to partay.” Ryan sang through the door.
A nap had been a good way to pass two hours. Probably the best way, since I wasn’t sitting around worrying over all the ways tonight could go sour. But now I was groggy and out of sorts. Not really in a party mood anymore.
“I’m coming.” I yelled through a stretch before unlocking the door.
“Damn, girl. Did you get in a fight with the mascara brush or what? And for the record, it won.” Ryan pushed me backward as he came inside.
Lovely. I had racoon eyes from my little siesta.
“I was sleeping. Give me a sec and I’ll be ready to go.” Ryan went off to study the family pictures in the living room as I went to the guest bathroom.
It wasn’t as bad as he’d made it out to be. Just a little smudge here or here. Once I was all sex goddess and untouchable siren again, I rejoined him.
“Let’s go.” I snagged my camera bag off the table in the foyer that had my different connecting lenses and pulled it over my shoulder like a purse.
“Yas! Let’s go. Popping your party cherry is the highlight of my week.” Ryan smirked and followed me out of the house.
“Just a week? I’m slightly offended by that. This is a big milestone.” I locked the door and looped my arm through his as we went to his car.
He was driving tonight, but if he had too much to drink, I was the designated driver back to my place. That was my idea. I was too young and close to my mass exodus to die now. Next to me, Ryan grinned the whole way to his car. He had an extra bounce in his step like he expected big things from tonight.
Me, though? I had a different kind of thrill coursing through my blood. Tonight, I was going to officially start working on my portfolio. I wasn’t sure if I’d use any of the shots since this was my first test run, but the reality was finally here. I was really going for it.
“I told Pat we’d meet him by the pool. He knows we’re on our way. Maybe even Rhys will be there waiting on us.” Ryan nudged me in the ribs.
I grunted noncommittally. I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that a small piece of my heart was excited at the prospect of passing such an important milestone. Meeting a boy at a party. Then to have a chance to see past the distant and cool façade Rhys had going on. When Ryan glanced my way, his eyes were warm.
“Come on. You want to talk to Rhys. I can see it in your eyes.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. But I am apprehensive about whether or not Trey will be with him. I really don’t like him. And who knows what he’d do if he caught me spying on him.” There, I admitted it. I was slightly afraid of the level of cruelty I suspected Trey had inside him.
“Astrid. I get it. Trey isn’t really the kind of person we want you practicing on. Maybe when I’m confident in your stealth abilities we can find the dirt on him. I’d love to have some kind of leverage to hold over his head. It could make him less of an asshole.” He smirked.
I punched his arm for his insult. “I’m stealthy. I’ve always
been stealthy.”
He laughed and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to the beat of the Troye Sivan song playing on his Pandora station. “Okay, so in all seriousness, who are we targeting tonight?”
“I’d like to get some shots of Rhys. Outside of him, the only other person I’ve thought about is Jonah Perez.”
Ryan’s face contorted into an adorable look of confusion.
“Jonah? Why him. He’s the king geek.”
Didn’t Ryan understand? I wanted the guys that had it all—at least for all outward appearances. Rhys was the popular boy. The one everyone envied and wanted to be close to. He had this good guy vibe, even though I knew he wasn’t. If he was the good guy everyone thought he was, he wouldn’t have let Trey get handsy with me in the hallway.
And Jonah, he was at the top of the class. Student body president. Straight A student. He was going places, while I’d be lucky to get a shot at this art scholarship. I definitely wouldn’t be looked at for other types of scholarships. Not with my math grade.
“Because he’s Rhys, only for academics. Both are so perfect they’re practically untouchable. I’ve been thinking about how I want to work my portfolio and I think I want to show how they aren’t so perfect. At least I’ll know. I can’t show their faces or anything.” I pulled my leg up so I could turn into him a little bit.
“That’s deep Astrid. And it sounds like it could backfire in your face a million different ways. You really want to pursue this type of project?” Worry coated his voice like a bad batch of hairspray.
“Yes. Positive.” I nodded.
After a moment of pregnant silence, he sighed. “I guess I’ll be your lookout. You’ll need it. Maybe not for Jonah, but if Rhys finds out and by extension Trey, he could make life bad for you at school.”
The mood in the car cooled significantly. I almost felt bad; I was bringing down Ryan’s night. Almost. Then another part of me realized I needed help if I was going to pull this off.
Pretty Lies: A contemporary YA Romance (Astrid Scott Series Book 1) Page 8
