Wild Alaskan Hearts

by Jennifer Snow

  She swallowed hard and took a deep breath. “Thirty.”

  The paramedic frowned. “Excuse me?”

  “Not late twenties. He’s thirty. His birthday was a week ago today.”

  * * *

  IF HE COULD just feel his toes, he’d know he was okay.

  Unfortunately, Arron couldn’t feel anything at all as he lay in the hospital bed, staring at the ceiling. The last thing he remembered was reaching for the rock face just barely wide enough for his fingertips, then free-falling. It was every climber’s nightmare. Reaching for the mountain and feeling nothing but air.

  The monitor next to him beeped and he slowed his breath. He was no stranger to hospitals, but that didn’t mean they didn’t stress him out. Between him and Langdon, his parents has been back and forth to the hospital dealing with broken bones and concussions at least once a month. There wasn’t a bone in his body that he hadn’t bruised or fractured at one point.

  Unfortunately, the last time he was here hadn’t been for one of his injuries. The day Langdon was taken in and pronounced dead on arrival was etched in his memory, and the sights, sounds and smells of the hospital made his chest ache. He couldn’t determine how long he had been here. He felt as though he’d slept a long time.

  The door opened, and Dr. Sheraton entered the room. He forced a relaxed smile as he asked, “How bad is it?”

  “Not bad. Horrible,” she said. He’d never been under her care before, but he’d heard the young head of surgery didn’t exactly sugarcoat things. She was supposedly working on her bedside manner. If this was progress, he’d hate to have been a patient before.

  “What’s broken?” he asked.

  “What’s not?” she replied with an annoyed look. “Femur, wrist, ribs...”

  “Okay, I get it, I’m basically Humpty-Dumpty.”

  She frowned, not getting the joke.

  “Anyway, I’m alive, so that’s a good thing.”

  “You may not feel that way once the morphine wears off,” she said, checking his vitals.

  Wow.

  The door opened again and Alisha entered. His tongue seemed to swell in his mouth at the sight of her. She was dressed in her pale green hospital scrubs, her blond hair in a braid down her back and her face free of makeup but full of unconcealed concern. He struggled to find a breath. He hadn’t seen her in sixteen months. Sixteen long months.

  At least not in person. He’d cyberstalked her quite a bit. Whenever his heart could handle the sight of her with another guy anyway. When the photos of her and some guy named Nick had started to appear on her social media, he’d hoped it was just a fling, a rebound, revenge even for the way they’d left things, but then he’d realized that was all just ego. As months went by and the two seemed to fall more and more in love, he realized Alisha had found the real thing...and it wasn’t him.

  And now here he was lying there at her mercy.

  “Hi,” he said dumbly.

  “Hello,” she said coolly, barely glancing his way, then turned to Dr. Sheraton. “Mrs. Dorsey is ready for her foot surgery. I’ll finish filling in the chart.”

  Dr. Sheraton nodded, and then, forcing what was obviously fake enthusiasm in the presence of a coworker, she touched his leg gently, briefly. “You’re going to be fine.”

  “Thanks, Doc,” he mumbled. After the door closed behind her, he turned to Alisha and whispered, “She wasn’t that nice before you came in.”

  Unfortunately, it didn’t earn him the laugh he’d been going for. In fact, her body language suggested she was pissed at him. This reunion wasn’t exactly ideal. He hated that this was the way they were seeing one another for the first time in forever, but he couldn’t help being happy to see her.

  “She’s the best surgeon in this hospital,” Alisha said. “You can thank her for the fact that your hand will continue facing the right direction once the bones set and heal.”

  Was there a new tough love policy at Wild River Community? Maybe he couldn’t expect sympathy when his accident was due to extreme sports. Or maybe he just couldn’t expect sympathy from his ex-girlfriend. He cleared his throat. “How are you?”

  “Not in a hospital bed,” she said, avoiding his gaze as she wrote down his vitals in his chart.

  Her skin was smooth as silk and her beautiful emerald eyes had him craving that they’d look his way. But she seemed intent on doing her job with as little interaction as possible. “How’ve you been, I mean?” If this was the only time he’d get to talk to her, he didn’t want to waste it.

  She closed the folder and turned to him. “I’m good. Great, actually.”

  He nodded. “Good. I’m happy to hear that,” he said awkwardly. Then something hit him. “Wait, you were calling me.” He remembered now what had caused him to lose focus. His phone ringing. Her ringtone.

  She shook her head quickly. Too quickly. “No... I don’t think...”

  She was lying. She always licked the side of her upper lip when she was lying. “You were. When I was climbing.”

  She winced. “I don’t recall that.”

  “Should we check my cell phone?”

  She stared at her shoes and shrugged. “Must have pocket-dialed you,” she said lamely.

  He wasn’t buying it. After over a year of no contact, he’d thought she had deleted his phone number. The prospect of calling and having her not know who it was had been the only thing preventing him from reaching out. That fear of having been forgotten.

  He knew she was dating someone, and it was obviously serious, so out of respect, he’d let things just lie...but now, seeing her again, he knew he was far from over her. And suddenly he wasn’t so okay with the way they’d just left things. Suddenly there was so much he wanted to clarify, so much he wanted to say.

  Unfortunately, the right words refused to come to mind.

  And she used his silence to change the subject. “Dr. Sheraton says they’d like to keep you in for a few days...”

  He shook his head and immediately tried to get out of the bed. “No can do. My health insurance expired, and I suspect I’ll be paying for my reset bones until they’re six feet under, so I have to check out.”

  Her mouth gaped. “You do what you do and you don’t have health coverage?”

  “I usually don’t fall,” he said with a wry grin. He’d tried to get insured, but no company would touch him without insanely high premiums. He slowly inched toward the edge of the bed, scanning the room. This would be challenging, but what choice did he have?

  “Wait. No. You can’t be on your own yet...in your van...” She reached out to steady him when he nearly fell out of the bed.

  Can’t be on my own... His heart raced as his mind reached an illogical conclusion. It was worth a shot. He shrugged casually. “Okay, you’re right. I guess I’m rooming with you while I recover.”

  Her head shot up. She rapidly blinked several times as though her brain was trying to process what he’d just said. “Um...no. Why would you assume that would be okay?”

  “I fell because of your call. So, technically this is your fault and you feel guilty.”

  “No, I don’t. You shouldn’t have had your cell phone on you.”

  “If I hadn’t, I’d still be lying in a crumpled heap at the bottom of the cliff.” His cell phone’s screen had been shattered, but miraculously it had still worked to dial 911.

  She winced.

  He waited, watching her battle with her common sense and her emotions. He knew she’d agree. She was far too caring to allow him to be on his own, and his closest family was five hundred miles away. Her chest rose and fell in a deep sigh.

  “Fine,” she said, pointing a determined finger at him. “You can stay with me until you can take care of yourself, but not a second longer.”

  “Deal,” he said, trying and failing to hide his pleasure.

 
These would be the slowest healing injuries he’d ever had.

  CHAPTER THREE

  THIS WAS A huge mistake.

  Just seeing Arron again had knocked the air from her chest. Letting him stay in her apartment was going to be torture. It was a nine-hundred-square-foot space with one bedroom and one bathroom... Oh my God, how had it not occurred to her until this very second that she would have to help him into the shower?

  He’d be bathing with his underwear on for the next few weeks.

  She should never have agreed to this. But he was right. He had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t live in his van in this condition. And she did feel responsible for what happened to him.

  Damn, she never should have made that impulsive call. He could have gotten hurt far worse...or...nope, she wouldn’t think of the worst-case scenario.

  The current scenario—that he was her roommate indefinitely—was bad enough. And the idea shouldn’t be giving her butterflies like fluttering little beacons of hope in the pit of her stomach. Nothing would happen between them.

  She unlocked the door and wheeled him inside with the chair she’d borrowed from the hospital.

  As the door closed behind them, she fought to steady a breath. Memories of the last time they were alone together in her apartment flooded back...

  “I need to get away,” he said, pacing the living room. He was a mess. Unshaven, with dark circles under his eyes, his fauxhawk a mess, and wearing the same clothes he’d worn to Langdon’s funeral three days before. He smelled slightly of booze and she knew he’d basically been living at The Drunk Tank. She’d wanted to give him space and time to deal with his grief, unsure how much support was too much or not enough in a new relationship. Her heart had ached for him, but she was so terrified of the difference in the man standing in front of her.

  She’d usually seen him so casual, so carefree...and this wound-up, on-edge version of him was someone she didn’t even recognize. Losing his twin brother had him unraveling, naturally, and she was desperate for him to reach out, grab hold of her for comfort. Not push her away and claim he needed even more space. Not insisting on being with him the last several days had been a mistake.

  “Where do you want to go?” she asked carefully. Maybe a short vacation would give him time to grieve. It obviously wouldn’t be a fun getaway, just time to decompress, process and learn to start moving on. She could take a week off and go with him.

  “Anywhere but here,” he said, running a hand through his hair.

  “We could go to a beach somewhere...or to a cabin in the mountains?”

  He shook his head. “I’m talking longer than a week.”

  She swallowed hard. “How much longer?”

  He collapsed onto her couch and stared up at her, his expression so full of pain she could barely breathe. The look in his eyes pleaded for her to understand what he was about to say.

  “A while,” he said, suddenly calm but eerily somber. “I gave notice on my apartment. I just can’t be there...”

  The one he and his brother shared. Again, she understood. “You could stay here. With me.”

  He looked like he didn’t understand, and that hurt. They’d been dating only three months, but the relationship had been going so well. She’d hoped the next step would be moving in together eventually and not under these circumstances, but sometimes life gave you a new set of rules. “Not move in or anything,” she said quickly, ignoring the jab to her heart. “Just until you feel better and find a new place.”

  He stood and paced again. “I’m not sick, Alisha. This isn’t something I’m just going to recover from. Langdon is gone.”

  “I know. I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this... I just mean I’m here. Whatever you need.” She was desperate to help him, any way she could. Langdon had been his only family and she didn’t want him to navigate this hollow despair by himself. Every day at the hospital she witnessed the pain of losing loved ones. This one was tragic and sad and it didn’t make sense. People needed help to process that kind of loss.

  He turned toward her and a look of hope glimmered in his eyes as he took her hands. “I bought a van. I want to travel around for a while.”

  He bought a van? When? “What about work?”

  “I already told Cassie I need time off...indefinitely.”

  He had? He’d planned this road trip and discussed it with his boss before telling her? She’d thought they were closer than that.

  “Come with me.”

  “Come with you where?” He was losing it and she understood, but he needed to think clearly about the huge life decision he was making. And asking her to make.

  “I don’t know yet. Anywhere. Everywhere.” He seemed almost delirious.

  “What about my job?”

  “Take a leave of absence.”

  She’d just gotten promoted. She was just settling into the new head nurse position. She loved her job and her life... Traveling around the world had never even crossed her mind. While she wanted to be with him, especially in his time of need, he needed to know how impulsive this idea was. She took a deep breath. “Arron, I think you need to take a few days. Think about this when things don’t feel as heavy.”

  “When things don’t...” He shook his head and released her hands. “Alisha, Langdon and I were closer than brothers. This...”

  “Is complete shit, yes, I know.” She reached out and touched his arm. “Sweetheart, I know. But I just think you’re not thinking clearly right now.”

  He tensed. “Maybe not. But if I don’t get away from here for a while, I’m not going to recover from this.” He paused and stared at the floor. “Langdon had such big dreams, you know. So much he wanted to do. So much he won’t ever get a chance to do. I feel like I owe it to him to try to live life to the fullest.”

  His words hurt more than they should have. It was impossible not to internalize them. She wasn’t enough. A life here with her wasn’t enough. She struggled not to make it about them—about her—but she was about to lose a person she desperately loved. Unless she went with him...

  “So, what do you say? Will you come with me?” he asked, his gaze pleading.

  The second of deliberation had felt like a lifetime. Give him up or derail all of her life plans for a man she’d been dating for only three months. Her heart wanted to say yes, but common sense had her shaking her head. It was too much of a risk to take. “I’m sorry, Arron...” she said over the lump in her throat.

  He nodded slowly and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his dress pants and cleared his throat. “It was a long shot. Take care, Alisha.”

  The loud slam of the door as he left had instantly made her reconsider, but it was too late.

  She blinked as her apartment door shut behind them now and she turned to face Arron. He was staring at her expectantly, so obviously she’d missed something. “What?”

  “I said, I hope your boyfriend won’t mind me staying here.”

  She eyed him. That hadn’t seemed to bother him when he suggested this idea. And it really didn’t seem to bother him now, based on the mischievous glint in his eye. It was tempting to let him think she was still in a relationship, but her heart refused to lie.

  “I don’t think that will be an issue. We broke up.”

  * * *

  SHE WAS SINGLE AGAIN.

  He hadn’t expected that. Was that why she’d called him? She wanted to try again? Reconnect? Despite his broken bones, he couldn’t be too upset about his accident right now.

  Maybe it was fate. If not for the call and the fall, who knew when they would’ve been in this situation? Together again. Alone.

  He swallowed hard, realizing just how alone they were.

  The last time he’d been in this apartment, he’d been on the verge of a breakdown. Then the compounded impact of losing her and his brother in a matter of days ha
d him plummeting into despair so deep he hadn’t thought he’d ever recover. She’d been his family and he’d felt the sting of her refusal as rejection. But it hadn’t taken him long to realize she’d been right to say no. They’d only been dating a few months...and his request had been the unfair demand of a grieving man.

  Unfortunately, that realization had come too late.

  “I’ll set you up in the bedroom,” she said awkwardly, placing her purse and keys on the kitchen counter.

  “No way. I’ll take the couch.” He wouldn’t survive sleeping in her bed, with the smell of her on the pillow and sheets, remembering the last time he’d been with her...

  She hesitated, but then nodded. “The pullout is actually more comfortable and it’s closer to the bathroom anyway.” She placed his bag on the floor next to the couch and he reached for her hand.

  She flinched at his touch and he dropped his hand. “You still didn’t tell me why you were calling,” he said.

  She cleared her throat and released a deep breath. “I was calling to tell you that it was officially over. You and I. That I’ve...moved on,” she said, her voice strong and full of conviction.

  And damned if he didn’t believe it. And damned if it didn’t hurt more than the crash at the end of his free fall.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  OF ALL THE nights for a thunderstorm...

  Lying in her bed, Alisha stared at the ceiling, listening to the rolling thunder as the lightning illuminated her bedroom. Storms like this were her favorite.

  Arron’s too.

  Sitting on her front porch under a blanket with him, watching the storms rage against the beautiful mountain in the distance, had been part of some of the best nights of her life. Every new storm after he’d left had brought back the memory of him, creating a bigger hole in her heart. She’d never been able to watch them with Nick, feeling as though it would be betraying Arron in some way. And maybe forcing her to admit that her feelings for Nick couldn’t be as real as she’d wanted them to be if a storm caused her to wish she were with someone else.