Courtship at Rosings
Page 3
It was now she who owed him an apology. The thought gave her pause on seeing him again, but her courage always rose when afraid, so she would meet Mr. Darcy. Explaining to Charlotte her need for some fresh morning air to help her recover, Elizabeth bid the small party at breakfast adieu until later. Despite her nerves, she found her pace quicker than usual. An unexpected thrill shot up her spine at the image of his tall and firm figure.
“Good morning, Miss Elizabeth,” he said as he bowed over her hand. Smiling down at her, he placed her hand on his arm. “You look lovely this morning.”
“Thank you and good morning, Mr. Darcy,” Elizabeth replied whilst blushing. She had assumed he would be more upset about the nature of this encounter. Instead, he seemed more like a suitor than ever.
“I trust you slept well. Or does your complaint continue?
“I did sleep well. And you, sir?”
She glanced at his face and was intrigued to see the corners of his mouth turning up in a small smile as he replied, “I slept well indeed, Miss Elizabeth.”
They lapsed into silence for several minutes until Mr. Darcy cleared his throat. “Miss Elizabeth, last night you alluded to some accusations from Mr. Wickham. Since I do not know the particulars of what he has stated against me, I can offer little refutation. However, I feel as though I should relate to you his dealings with me entirely, instead of merely addressing his accusations.”
Elizabeth interrupted him. “Mr. Darcy, there is no need. I beg you, forgive me for saying hurtful words in haste and anger. I was fatigued and emotionally drained. I should not pry into your private affairs. Aside from my complaints about what you said at the assembly in Meryton, I have found you to be an upstanding gentleman, and I am content not to question what must have more than one side and belongs in the past.”
He smiled at her words but appeared apprehensive as well. “That is very gracious of you, Miss Elizabeth. But I would have let this knowledge be more generally known had it not been for my selfish pride and fear of harming a dear loved one. I do indeed desire to reveal the truth to you.”
Darcy paused for a moment. Before he even began speaking, Elizabeth could see more truth in his look than Wickham had during his tale. Darcy told of his growing up with Wickham and his father’s intentions of giving Wickham a valuable living. There is where their stories diverged.
Darcy claimed that Wickham gave up the living in lieu of money. He had already received one thousand pounds upon the reading of the will. Darcy gave him an additional three thousand pounds. Wickham squandered it within months. Some years later, Wickham returned, asking for the living. Darcy could not trust him in a parish and held firm to their original agreement.
Unsurprisingly, Wickham began abusing Darcy’s name near and far. If that was not enough, he had attempted to elope with Darcy’s young sister last year. No wonder Colonel Fitzwilliam had behaved so strangely when Elizabeth inquired about the girl!
Elizabeth had seen Mr. Darcy in a variety of situations and knew he was no actor. The expressions of pain and remorse he wore whilst speaking were such a contradiction to Wickham’s practiced and calm speech. Wickham spoke of not being able to hate Darcy. Elizabeth supposed that if she asked Darcy, he could not promise the same. Perhaps his barely concealed wrath was less palatable to polite society, or ignorant maidens as the case was with herself, but it was far more effective in convincing Elizabeth that Darcy was the injured party.
How differently did everything now appear where Wickham was concerned! His interest in Miss King must only be for her newly acquired ten thousand pounds. Elizabeth braced against a tree as realisation after realisation struck her. She had courted ignorance due to her wounded vanity. Wickham had immediately been pleased with her, and Darcy had not. Therefore, she scrutinised the latter and not the former.
Had she been in love, she could not have been more blind. But vanity, not love, had been her failing. Or had it? Why had she been so upset with Mr. Darcy’s first slight against her? She purposefully and wilfully misunderstood nearly everything he had ever said to her. She even argued against the observations of Jane and Charlotte, then twisted the teasing of Colonel Fitzwilliam. Why had the thought of Darcy loving Jane made her cry?
She faced her companion with tears clouding her vision. “Pray, forgive me. I was most wrong about you. I blush in remembrance of my arguments against you last night.”
“Miss Bennet, your confusion about my character is understandable. I do not wish for you to censure yourself. There is no need for apologies.”
“There most certainly is! If you knew what I said to others, then you would hate me forever.”
Darcy stayed their movements and searched her face before meeting her eyes. “I could never hate you, Elizabeth.”
Elizabeth stumbled backward, and a surprised gasp left her lips. It was as if she had never seen him before. He truly loved her! She had supposed he simply grew bored with the tedium of Rosings and fancied himself afflicted with love. After another moment of scrutiny, she blushed and lowered her eyes.
“That is very kind of you, Mr. Darcy. However, I know I have done wrong and wish to ask for forgiveness, although I can scarcely hope you will grant it.”
Darcy cocked his head to one side. “It is no trouble to forgive you. There was no malice in your words or actions.”
“There was.” Elizabeth wiped at her eyes. “I wanted to hate you. I wanted to believe the worst about you. I wanted my dislike to be justified.”
“Why did you dislike me so much?”
A throaty chuckle erupted, and soon her body shook with laughter. “I can see so clearly now how vain and proud I have been. I only disliked you because I thought you disliked me!”
Shaking his head, Darcy laughed. “We have both been blinded by pride and insecurities. I did not want to like you, I will admit. I came to Hertfordshire with the expectation of finding nothing worthy of my presence. My sole intention was to help Bingley, and although I was loath to go, I desired to assist my friend. It was not many meetings before I realised how impossible it was to ignore you. You tore up my quiet and orderly life, and I craved more.”
“You liked me for my impertinence?” Elizabeth’s eyes flew to his.
“I admired your lively mind.”
“Oh! This proves more than anything how dreadfully wrong I have been about you. If you were truly so proud and of such a hateful nature, then you would never admire that quality in me. I am sure I never spoke to you without the intention to wound.”
“And how would you speak to me if that had not been your aim?”
Elizabeth’s pulse quickened. They had cleared the air between them. Now that her prejudice did not blind her, where did it leave them?
Elizabeth blushed. “I am unsure. I have never been the recipient of attention from a gentleman of your stature.”
“Would you quake in fear of my esteemed personage?”
Laughing, she smiled up at him. She felt something settle in her heart. Darcy had fascinated her for months, but this moment lit a flame. How had she misunderstood her attraction to him? They had quarrelled, but they were making amends. He had earned her respect and esteem and now had her laughing. This was the beginning of intimacy. These were the moments which made a life together.
“Certainly not!” Elizabeth managed to say between giggles. “I suppose I would always have viewed you with suspicion. Perhaps I would have imagined you to be a rake. Why else would you take a fancy to a country gentleman’s daughter with no money or connections?”
“Do you truly think so meanly of yourself?”
Elizabeth shrugged. “I do not know that I would persist in that way of thinking. Only it would be one thought which crossed my mind. I would not likely believe you admired me at all. Charlotte has argued the very thing, and I never saw it.”
“Perhaps if I had not attempted to hide it.”
“And what would your open admiration look like?” She arched one brow, a playful smile on her lips.
Elizabeth beamed. “It is too bad you never had the opportunity. Something tells me that would have been a sight to behold.”
“May I begin again?”
“You are leaving for London tomorrow.”
“Yes, and you will be there in a few weeks.”
“I will be staying at Gracechurch Street.” Elizabeth lifted her chin and squared her shoulders. “I know you find my relations unworthy of your notice.”
“I would be pleased to meet them.”
“Would you really?”
“If it would secure your hand, then I would go through any matter of things.”
“I cannot be bought.” Elizabeth pulled away and began to walk off.
Darcy quickly caught up with her. “I do not mean that you can.”
“When I marry, it will be for great love. I will respect my husband. I will not be indebted to him or constantly reminded of the condescension he has shown me by rescuing me from my supposedly low and inferior state.”
Darcy caught Elizabeth’s hand. “Elizabeth, wait. I would be happy to meet them because they are your family, and you love them. I wish to please you. I desire to show you that I am not so mean as you first believed and am correcting the faults in my character, which you did justly assess. How else could I show you that?”
Elizabeth remained unconvinced and crossed her arms over her chest.
“If you would rather I wait to court you until you return to Longbourn, then I will. If you had hated the idea of my courtship, you would have said so. That can only mean that you are not set against me. I will not quit the field now.”
“And manipulating me into loving you is part of your design?”
“No. I wish to share a life with you and everything that means—all of your relations. You should meet mine as well. Together, we would form a family of equal parts yours and mine.”
“And your relations would approve of this match?”
“I really do not care.”
They were now in view of the parsonage, and Elizabeth saw the curtain of the front sitting room flutter. Discreetly gathering her hand in his, he squeezed it whilst staring into her dark eyes.
“I am yours to command. If you do not wish for me to court you, then tell me so at once. If, however, your feelings have changed, only tell me where and when I may next see you.”
Elizabeth took a long moment before replying. All the while, her heart hammered, and her head pounded. She felt as if she were about to jump off a cliff. “Very well, Mr. Darcy. I accept your offer of courtship. I will see you in a fortnight in London.” She turned and walked to the parsonage without a backward glance.
Chapter Five
Elizabeth evaded Charlotte’s eyes when she entered the parsonage. Too much had happened. She needed to think and breathe before she could say anything to her friend. Making an excuse, she went directly to her room and stayed until dinner. By that point, she had determined she should say nothing to the wife of Lady Catherine’s rector. She could hardly be an impartial observer.
Mr. Collins lamented his poor ladyship’s misery upon the loss of her nephews. With the way he went on, Elizabeth expected there to be news that Darcy’s carriage had met with disaster as soon as it left the park. The thought brought only pain. Just as the thought struck her, Charlotte glanced her way. Elizabeth had to quickly look away lest her friend discover too much.
As Mr. Collins extolled at length his pity for her ladyship, Elizabeth had an excellent excuse for not being her usual self. He made no pause in the conversation, allowing her thoughts to turn to Darcy and their discussion again and again. What man in his senses would wish to court a woman who had already rejected him?
To most men, it would make little difference that Elizabeth’s arguments were mostly under false apprehensions. The very fact that he took the time to explain himself illustrated his pride. She no longer felt it was of a sinful sort, but it was there nonetheless. Although he remained determined to win her heart, he did not plead for a second chance.
A little thrill coursed through Elizabeth’s body. Her experiences with the other sex had always been less than satisfactory. No man had truly approached as a suitor, save Mr. Collins. He proposed off less than a week’s acquaintance, and his speech was so prepared it could have easily been used on any lady. Indeed, his rapid proposal to Charlotte after Elizabeth’s refusal was proof enough that he had no attachment to either lady. To marry was to love in his mind. He had made no attempt to woo Elizabeth, and he had refused to accept her rejection.
Darcy offered Elizabeth a choice. He promised that if she allowed him to court her, it would be something for the ages. Whilst she was not usually a senseless romantic, she had to admit that the idea of being the recipient of the regard of an intelligent and powerful man enticed. By the time her head hit the pillow that night, Elizabeth practically vibrated with excitement.
When she awoke, the sun greeted her, and birds sang. After a delightful morning walk, Elizabeth enjoyed the company of Maria and Charlotte. Mr. Collins had gone to Rosings to comfort his patroness. Maria chatted amiably about the expectation to visit Rosings more often and then about the possibilities of London. Elizabeth hid her secret smile as she ducked her head and focused on her needle.
Soon, the post arrived, and with it a letter from Jane. Excusing herself, Elizabeth read in the privacy of her bedchamber.
Dear Elizabeth,
I pray this letter finds you well. I am sure you are enjoying your visit with dear Charlotte no matter the follies of Lady Catherine. You shall not deceive me. I know you find her and the others amusing!
Something most unusual has occurred. You may recall my letter some weeks ago in which I explained that Caroline Bingley did not return my call for many weeks. When at last she appeared at Gracechurch Street, she and Mrs. Hurst stayed for a scant five minutes. It was evident to me that they felt no true friendship for me. I know you had guessed there was duplicity involved, but I would not hear a word against either lady.
Well, today Mr. Bingley called on the house with Caroline in tow. She still did not seem pleased to be present, but she appeared adequately humbled. Mr. Bingley apologised for not visiting earlier. He said something about not being in contact with the parties that knew of my presence in London. I confess it confused me when he said it. However, I shall not borrow misery. Neither shall I hope this means the fruition of my dearest hopes, although he did seem exceptionally happy to see me.
I simply had to tell you, as I cannot explain it to anyone else. Please do not laugh at me, Lizzy. I am determined to allow his actions to be my guide. I will not allow myself to be carried away. I am confident my aunt shall be a more sensible companion than our mother on the matter. I only ask that you be happy for me.
Your loving sister,
Jane
Elizabeth beamed from ear to ear. “I am much mistaken if he is not as in love with you as ever.”
She pressed the letter to her heart. Here was proof that Mr. Darcy had written to Bingley. How had he realised his error regarding his friend without speaking to Elizabeth? The fact that he took immediate action to correct his wrong certainly appealed to her.
She quickly wrote a reply to Jane, sharing in her joy and excitement. In addition to Mr. Darcy’s courtship, she looked forward to seeing her sister in renewed spirits.
The following day, they were invited to Rosings. Lady Catherine complained so much about the absence of her nephews that Elizabeth wondered if the sole reason why they were asked was to show to them how little she valued them. Among many things said were hints of Darcy’s attachment to Rosings, with glances at Miss de Bourgh.
Elizabeth scrutinised Darcy’s cousin. He must never have been intended for her if he had proposed to Elizabeth. Miss de Bourgh might have money and an estate, but it did not appear that she ever left Rosings to
meet with other gentlemen or to mix in society. Elizabeth could see clearly now that sort of wife would never interest Mr. Darcy.
Most fascinating of all, now that she felt assured of his esteem, Elizabeth discovered she no longer thought so meanly of Miss de Bourgh. Instead, she had compassion for the young lady with an unbearable mother. Elizabeth well understood the pain of that. At least she had sisters and a sensible father. Her family enjoyed the activities of their community. Additionally, they enjoyed friendships with their neighbours. Miss de Bourgh was too high above the villagers to befriend them. Perhaps she and Elizabeth could become more than acquaintances during Elizabeth’s remaining weeks in Kent.
“Good evening, Miss de Bourgh,” Elizabeth said as they sat at a card table together after dinner.
The lady returned the pleasantry, and Elizabeth’s lips twitched as she was reminded of Mr. Darcy’s reserve. Perhaps it was a family failing.
“Allow me to extend my apologies about the absence of your cousins. You must miss them.”
“Must I?” Miss de Bourgh asked with a smirk.
Perhaps she also shared her sarcastic wit with her cousin. Elizabeth slid a glance at Mr. Collins at the other table before leaning closer to her companion. “Since your cousins are more amiable than mine, I had supposed it to be so, but perhaps I assume too much.”
Miss de Bourgh met Elizabeth’s eyes and held them before playing her card. “Comparatively speaking, I am sure you are correct. I have the advantage over you, however, in that my cousins are not supercilious and vacant-headed. Additionally, I have a charming female cousin.”
“Ah, I have female cousins as well. Alas, they are many years my junior. However, perhaps in time, we shall have more shared companionship. The truth is that Mr. Collins’s family is not very close to mine, although I suspect he is attempting to mend that broken fence.”