Love is a Many Splintered Thing

by Jamie Lee Scott

  His (I’m assuming) wife, who stood a few inches taller, even with the ballet flats she wore, tucked a strand of loose brown hair behind her ear, making her French twist look less sleek, then pulled at the hem of her skirt. The dress so tight I thought for sure the seam across the butt would split. The woman wasn’t even chubby, but the dress might have been a size (or two) too small.

  She linked her arm in her husband’s and gave him a gentle tug, the move tentative, as if she might be afraid of the man. The glare he shot her confirmed my suspicions.

  As they walked away from the group, the man shoved his index finger toward Alan, making some sort of point, I suppose.

  During the entire incident, Alan didn’t say a word, just stared glassy-eyed at the couple, looking confused. The guys sat quietly, looking interested, but not about to intervene.

  “What do you think that was about?” I asked.

  “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

  Standing, I straightened my own dress, hoping it didn’t look a size too small. “You’re no fun. I’m going back to the cabin.”

  “Of course I’m fun. Just because I don’t want to be an investigator on my short vacation doesn’t mean I’m not fun.” Charles leaned back on the upholstered bench and crossed his legs. “I think I need another martini.”

  “You sure seemed interested earlier,” I said.

  “I was interested in the entertainment, not in trying to investigate why Alan is such a douche. It’s pretty evident he’s his own worst enemy. Wife, girlfriend, and now a random couple are mad at him, and we haven’t even been on the ship for a full twenty-four hours.”

  “I think it’s entertaining to find out why,” I said.

  “I’m not investigating anything I’m not getting paid for. Sit down and have another drink.” He patted the seat beside him.

  “If I have another drink, I may not find my way back to our cabin.”

  Alan didn’t need another drink, either. He stood, or tried to stand, fell over, and started crawling on all fours. It looked as if he planned to crawl to the bar to get another drink.

  Two of the young men he’d arrived with bent down to chat with him. When Alan’s face turned green, I turned my head.

  I heard a cocktail server yell, “Hey, Jules, PVI, get 30-30 stat!”

  The bartender, now working alone, because Lyle left, picked up the phone on the wall and made a call.

  “Maybe I don’t need that martini after all.” Charles put the back of his hand to his nose and got up to leave.

  That’s when the boys lifted Alan from the floor and steered him out the door. As they walked down the hall to the left, Charles and I walked out behind them, turning right, even though the way back to our stateroom required a left.

  8

  Charles

  Mimi finally opened up and let me know what she thought of Dominic and how she should deal with Nick. It only took two more vodka tonics to loosen her lips, then I couldn’t get her to shut up. I almost told her everything I really knew, just to make her mad again so I could go to sleep.

  Sometime after midnight, Mimi passed out, and I sat at the desk, doing some research on Dominic’s investigation. Hacking is much more difficult on international waters, so I finally gave up and put the laptop away. As I walked to my bed, I heard a loud thud outside on the balcony. So loud, I almost felt is as much as heard it.

  I dashed to the balcony door and slammed it open. I could tell something was off, but I couldn’t place exactly what it was. I reached back into the room, flipped the light on, then walked out on the balcony.

  With the light on, I saw what looked wrong. One of my chairs had been knocked over. I looked around. Had someone been in our cabin? On our balcony? Being able to see the balconies of the people on either side, but just leaning forward, I saw no one outside. As I approached the starboard side of the deck, I saw blood on the railing.

  I stepped back to not touch the blood, then contorted my body to look over the edge. I couldn’t see much in the dark, but I swore one of the lifeboats looked askew. I wondered if it had been my imagination. The blood could have been anything. I decided a bird probably hit the ship, so I went back inside. The bed called to me, and I listened.

  I turned off the light on the balcony, closed the door, then went to bed. I swear I’d barely closed my eyes when I heard banging and lots of footsteps overhead. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. 7:30

  Looking across to Mimi’s bed, I realized I could never live with that woman. She didn’t even pull her covers up. She just got out of bed and left the innards exposed for the world to see and smell. I threw my covers back and sat up. Turning, I put my bare feet on the floor, then stood. I turned and reached across the bed to pull up the covers, tucking the pillow underneath. I thought about fixing Mimi’s bed, but I’d have a talk with her about it instead.

  Fully expecting the bathroom door to be closed, shower running, imagine my surprise when the door stood wide open, the bathroom lights off. I looked around the room, then out onto the balcony. Maybe she’d gone out to get some fresh air to help cure her inevitable hangover.

  Since my phone sat on the nightstand, I had no way to contact her. And I certainly wasn’t going to call security. At least not yet.

  I brushed my teeth, then jumped in the shower. I needed to wash the salt air off my skin. It felt good to have steaming hot water running down my body, and I planned to stay in the shower until the water ran cold, which would be never, so I could stay in the shower for the rest of the cruise.

  I put my face under the water, thinking about the conclusions Mimi had drawn about her dead again husband. She’d been spot on with a few, and dead wrong on the others. Only I couldn’t tell her what was right or wrong, because I wasn’t supposed to know. This made me turn off the water.

  I stepped out of the shower and wrapped the towel around my middle, just in case Mimi came back. I padded back to the beds and grabbed my phone from the nightstand.

  I showed the screen my lovely face to unlock it, but then it started ringing.

  “Max, is everything okay?” We’d said we wouldn’t call each other unless it was an emergency. Not because we didn’t want to talk, but because we didn’t want to talk in front of Mimi, accidentally revealing something she didn’t need to know.

  “Everything is fine. I just heard you have an Oscar on your ship.”

  “I’m sure there’s more than one Oscar on the ship. Most of the passengers are ninety thousand years old. It was a popular name back in the day.”

  Max laughed. “As if you didn’t know that’d be the case. It’s not your first cruise.”

  “True. At least those folks are quiet, and don’t tend to get drunk and vomit all over the floor in the bar.”

  “No, true, they usually have a heart attack and die instead.”

  “A bit morbid this morning, aren’t you?” One of the things I loved about Max.

  “Speaking of morbid, an Oscar is a man overboard. It’s ship speak. Like alpha means there’s a medical emergency and bravo means fire.”

  “You mean, bravo means get to your designated lifeboat and get out before it’s too late.” I felt the need to summon The Poseidon Adventure in my head.

  “I was just wondering if you’d heard anything about it. Have you spoken to Roger?”

  “I have, but it was yesterday. He didn’t say anything.”

  “This happened last night. About two or three in the morning from what I can tell. Apparently, someone called in, saying they saw a lifeboat askew, and what they thought could be blood.”

  “And you know this how?” It was a rhetorical question, but he answered anyway.

  “I’m FBI, you fool. I know all. We got the call. I’m actually being tapped to investigate. We’ll be at your port of call.”

  “So we’ll be taking a cruise together after all?” I joked.

  “I wish. Cruise ship crimes are not good.”

  “Why, because there are no police, only a security te
am? And said security team is loyal to the those who pay their salary, not the passengers?”

  “In a nutshell. Not only that, they’ve been known to clean up a crime scene if they think one of their employees was involved.”

  “Well, crap. This isn’t good.”

  “That’s why I called. I need you to get to the eleventh floor and keep an eye on Roger and his team.”

  “But Roger is former law enforcement. Do you think he’d impede an investigation?”

  “If he wants to keep his cushy job, he will. He’s paid well for this gig, and those jobs don’t become available often.”

  “Mimi wasn’t in the room this morning. That worries me now.”

  “It wasn’t Mimi. Unless she was in the stateroom on the eleventh floor. Right now, they don’t know if the person is a man or woman because no one was in the cabin.”

  “This is so ironic,” I put the phone on speaker, dropped my towel, then grabbed my suitcase from the foot of the bed.

  “What is?” Max’s voice boomed into the room.

  “I just told Mimi last night that I’m on vacation, and I don’t want to play investigator.” I opened the suitcase and pulled out a pair of lightweight, plaid shorts. I sat on the bed to put them on. “Do you by any chance know which cabin it was, and the name of the couple, I’m assuming it’s a couple, since you said man or woman?”

  “Hold on a sec.” I could hear Max tapping the keys on his computer. “It was a couple. Alan and Kendra Daly.”

  If I’d had coffee in my mouth, I’d have spit it across the room.

  “You okay?” Max asked.

  “The irony of this situation just expanded to suffocating.” I buttoned and zipped my shorts, then reached across the bed to get a shirt. As I pulled the shirt over my head, I said, “Now I’m really worried about Mimi. She doesn’t have her phone with her, so I’d better go looking.”

  “Why are you worried?”

  “Because I’m ninety-nine-point-nine percent sure she’s got her nose in this already.” I stood and looked for my Sperry topsiders. “Do you want Roger to know I’m coming?”

  I’d planned on disembarking at the port of call, maybe do some shopping, definitely buying some local tequila. Somehow, I didn’t think I’d be leaving the ship. Depending on how far along they were in the investigation, there was a possibility no one was leaving.

  I walked down the hall to the nearest elevators and pressed the button for the eleventh floor. As I waited, the elevator area filled with couples. All looked old enough to be my great-grandparents. And they all looked so happy. I smiled. It must have seemed creepy because the four couples closest to me all stepped back.

  “I’m going up, anyone else?” I prayed they all said down and my prayers were answered. I had no desire to step off the elevator with this gaggle of geese.

  Alone on the elevator, I considered the situation. Kendra and Alan didn’t know anyone on the ship before they embarked. And then Emily’s face came into my head. Had she really been so mad as to have killed Kendra or Alan? Men and women had killed over less. Isn’t love splendid?

  When the elevator door opened, it was apparently no one was getting near this floor if they weren’t already staying on it.

  “Cabin number?” the security man asked.

  I gave him the number.

  “Then you have no business on this floor. I’ll have to ask you to step back into the elevator and go elsewhere.” He sounded kind, but firm.

  “I need to speak to Roger Stires, please.”

  His demeanor changed only slightly, and not in a good way. He stiffened.

  “Roger. Now. Please,” I said.

  “Bennett, please stand here with this,” he paused, “gentleman. I need to go find Mr. Stires.”

  Bennett, who looked like he’d slept in his security uniform, came over to stand with me. A minute later, the other security man headed toward me, Roger leading the way.

  “Did Max call you?” I asked.

  “He did. I’m sorry, I don’t have time to appease you. I already had to ask Mimi to leave. This is a dire situation, and not one I’ve ever had to handle in my time as head of security. The FBI has been called in, and I want to have everything detailed before they arrive.”

  “I know the FBI has been called. I just talked to Max. He’ll be at the port of call.”

  “Oh.”

  “Can we speak somewhere for just a moment?”

  Roger rolled his eyes, making it clear I was wasting his time.

  “Just one minute, not a second more, I promise.”

  Roger turned around and walked back the way he came, waving his arm for me to follow.

  “This is fine,” I said when we were roughly fifty feet from the elevators. Then I explained what I did for a living, and what I did on the side. Even though Roger knew me through Max, he didn’t know everything. “I need you to keep all of this to yourself, other than the private investigator stuff. Everyone knows I’m a P.I.”

  “I shouldn’t, but I’ll show you what we have.” Roger all but grabbed my arm to drag me down the hall.

  “Do you have booties?”

  “This is a cruise ship. You think we have our own investigative department? We don’t have major crimes. And as of now, all we know is someone may have fallen overboard.”

  “Right,” I said. “Don’t we disembark for the port of call in a few hours?”

  “We do. And that’s why it’s important to take care of this quickly and quietly, before anyone realizes there’s a problem.” He stopped walking. “I want this cruise to be business as usual, but until we know what happened, who went overboard, and if there’s a crime, all passengers will stay on the ship.”

  “And the FBI will be waiting to embark as the others disembark. I’ll help in any way I can. But I need to find Mimi, because she’s a genius investigator.”

  Roger looked back at me, as I was a step behind him, wanting him to feel that he was in charge. “Mimi? Really?”

  “Would she be my business partner if she wasn’t? And if you tell her I said that, you’ll be the next to go overboard.” I winked, even though I meant it.

  “Here’s the thing, Charles. I work for the cruise line, so I have to keep their best interests first and foremost.”

  I got in Roger’s face. “You’re joking. You’re on the right side of the law, even if you’re retired from law enforcement. You work for the person who may have gone overboard now.”

  “No, I don’t work for the possible victim. I work for the cruise line. I’ll work with you, so we don’t botch this for the FBI, but I answer to the defense attorneys and my bosses.”

  I wanted to throat punch this jerk.

  9

  Mimi

  Roger Stires, head of security for the cruise ship, could suck my…no, that wasn’t nice. Charles told me he’d given them the tickets for the cruise as a thank you or something to Max. According to Charles, Roger and Max knew each other from way back, but how far back and how well they knew each other, he didn’t know.

  Roger wanted nothing to do with me. I’d been walking by the breakfast buffet when I saw several men and women in security uniforms, and overheard a bit of chatter. The name Oscar kept coming up. Being curious about this Oscar guy, I tailed the security teams and jumped on the same elevator.

  When the oldest of the security team pressed the button for the eleventh floor, she asked me, “What floor?” as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

  “Eleventh, thank you,” I said. I wanted to know where she was going.

  I could see the tightness in her features as she plastered on a fake smile. The tightness nearly stretched her skin when the elevator doors opened and a man in a suit stood at the doors. His name tag read Roger Stires, Head of Security.

  He looked at me. “Is your cabin on this floor?”

  I put out my hand. “Hi, I’m Mimi Christianson. I’m on the cruise with Charles Parks.”

  He didn’t take my hand. “That’s nice, but
I have an emergency on my hands, and I don’t have time to chat.”

  “Yes, I overheard. Oscar?” I smiled. “I thought I might be able to help.”

  “How do you know about Oscar?”

  “I don’t know Oscar, but I am an investigator.”

  “Come with me,” he said.

  Wheeeeee, I was in. I’d have something to do to keep my mind off Nick and Dominic.

  As we walked down the hallway, I chastised myself once again for running away from my problems. I should have gone home, maybe gone for another run, and cleared my head. But no, impulsively I let Charles drag me away, and I ran.

  The thing I’ve learned in my life, but don’t always heed: you can’t run from problems, because they tend to be attached at the hip and follow you wherever you go. Knowing this, I still packed my bag and boarded the fight to LAX. It took several vodka tonics and pouring my heart out to Charles to make me realize how lucky I was.

  When I awoke that morning, I had clarity. I wanted to go back home. I wanted to wrap my arms around Nick and say I was sorry. It only took fifteen minutes for me to fight my head and decide running home wasn’t such a good idea. I needed more time. I might be going crazy.

  “Mimi, do you know what an Oscar is?” Roger asked, stopping in front of a stateroom with the door wide open, and a security guard outside.

  “Oscar is a man’s name, or the trophy at the Academy Awards,” I said. “But I’m assuming it’s not the trophy in this case.”

  He looked me in the eyes. “It means we have a man overboard.”

  He escorted me into the stateroom before I could respond.

  “Stay here for a minute, I’ll be right back.”

  As I waited for Roger to return, I watched the same news and information loop on the TV. I leaned back in the chair, my head resting on the back, and closed my eyes.

  When I did, my life with Dominic came flooding back to me. How we’d met. He knew what I did for a living, and yet he brought me into his life. Why? But being Secret Service was not the same as other law enforcement or government. Did he think it would all be fine, because my job was protecting people, not investigating them?