Gore in the Garden

by Shelley Dawn Siddall

  “So Mr. Carlson was already investigating Grandpa’s death?”

  “Yes, but as the saying goes, all the t’s were crossed, and all the i’s were dotted.”

  “But we didn’t get any money,” Tracy lamented, “and I need braces, and the landlord is dragging his feet about fixing the roof…”

  Her Mom patted her hand. “We’ll make do. It’s my job to worry about that stuff, not yours. It will be fine. Let’s listen to Gracie.”

  “Onto item three. Did you know that one Maureen Angela Smiley went into Munson Insurance Agency and picked up a check for fifty thousand dollars approximately three months after a death certificate was mailed to Mr. Carlson?”

  Maureen threw her hands in the air. “What? I did nothing of the sort!”

  “You know that, and I know that, but Mr. Carlson said the woman who came to pick up the check in trust for her daughter, had ID stating she was Maureen Angela Smiley. He gave her the check.”

  At that moment, Gracie’s phone beeped. She looked at it and smiled broadly.

  “And, Constable Dave is in Munson. He informed Detective Bailey that Mr. Carlson has just identified a photo of Sheree Smiley as the person who picked up the check!”

  Tracy pumped her fist in the air. “Whoo hoo! I can get braces!”

  “Said no regular child ever,” Maureen smirked. “My girl has a fascination with dentistry.”

  “I want to operate on children with cleft palates and stuff, like they do on that TV show. For free of course. But I’ll have to have regular patients first in order to do the free stuff.”

  Gracie could feel tears starting to well up. “You are a remarkable young girl and kudos to you Mom, for raising such a fine daughter on your own!”

  Gracie had even more good news for the family, but she wanted to continue with several points first. She wanted to make sure they understood how the murder investigation was progressing.

  “Item four, with this confirmation of fraud, Sheree will now be picked up by the police.”

  “Right now?” Tracy asked. When Gracie nodded, Tracy did another fist pump in the air.

  “Can you phone your boyfriend and have him look for that coffee she made for me? I think there was something wrong with it.”

  Gracie hit Ted’s number immediately.

  “Ted, are you at Sheree’s home? There might be poison in a coffee cup.” Gracie asked Tracy. “What did the mug look like?”

  Tracy yelled toward the phone, “It was the bear mug. The one that says an old bear lives here with his honey.”

  “Did you hear that Ted? Okay good. I think she tried to poison Tracy. Is that her screaming? Yikes. Someone should wash her mouth out with soap. Talk to you later.”

  “And finally we are at item five. I’m sorry to tell you that there isn’t enough evidence, yet, to prove that Sheree murdered your Grandpa.”

  Everyone sighed at the same time.

  Gracie hugged Maureen. “Sorry to leave on such a depressing note, but I have a few more things to look into.” She turned to Tracy. “And you, young lady, will have to write me a check for one hundred dollars once you have some money.”

  “Nope, I’ll give it to you right now.” Tracy went to her backpack and pulled out five wrinkled twenties from her donut shaped pink change purse.

  “Right, and I’ll make up a receipt and give it to you this evening along with a further report.”

  ***

  Gracie’s afternoon was spent shopping. She went shopping for a one-month swim pass at the Huckleberry pool where she found out that they had no way of tracking drop-ins at the pool; she went shopping for a personal trainer at ‘buns r us’ and she went shopping for a house.

  A very friendly looking woman opened the door.

  “Yes?”

  “Hi. I’m Gracie Noseworthy. I live over on Landsbury Lane but was thinking about re-locating to this neighborhood. All the homes here seem to have a lot of land and beautiful gardens. Do you like living here? Is it a safe neighborhood would you say?”

  The woman narrowed her eyes.

  “I know you.” She pointed a flour cover finger at Gracie.

  Gracie was certain she had not met her before.

  The woman left the doorway and walked inside. She hollered back to Gracie, “I’m just making some dill and cheese biscuits. Come on in and we can talk about your latest case.”

  Have I lost a marble, or two, Gracie wondered as she followed the woman inside. No. I definitely do not know this woman. How does she know me and how does she know I’m on a case?

  “I’m Joyce. I see your ad in the paper all the time and recognized your name. I was actually thinking about phoning you last year; but the police said everything was fine.”

  If it wouldn’t have been so obvious, Gracie would have slapped herself on the forehead. Of course. Her ad.

  “Boy, this is quite the operation you have going here! What’s the occasion?”

  “I’m President of the Neighborhood Watch, so I’m making a few dozen biscuits for the potluck tonight. That yard over there,” she pointed a thumb to the window where brilliant orange poppies celebrated the sun, “had a few cop cars show up this morning. They drug the widow out in handcuffs! So the neighbors are naturally upset that they missed something; oh not the show, but the reason behind the show.”

  Gracie lowered her voice and adopted a confidential tone. “I am working with the police on the Smiley case. What can you tell me about her and why were you going to phone me last year?”

  Joyce had finished patting the dough. She floured a little tin circle and began cutting out the biscuits.

  “I just use a mini tuna tin for my cookie cutter, or in this case, my biscuit cutter. I opened it on both sides; took the lids off. It’s the perfect size.” She stopped and looked at Gracie. “Listen, I’ll tell you what I know, if you tell me what you know. Deal?”

  Gracie needed information. “Deal,” she said, “but you first.”

  “I knew Robert and Shelia Smiley for years. Shelia was the first, and in my opinion, only Mrs. Smiley. They moved in about twenty years ago when their little daughter Maureen was about nine and made a right little paradise of the place. Poor Mo got herself knocked up by some ne’er do well when she was just sixteen and had a little girl.”

  The stove buzzer sounded to indicate the oven had pre-heated. Joyce popped two trays of biscuits in the over and set the timer for twelve minutes.

  “Mo called the little girl Tracy Lisette. Pretty little thing and sharp as a tack! They’re living in East Huckleberry and doing okay. Maureen is working for the telephone company and Tracy is a straight A student. Shame about Robert. The night before he died I saw a couple of people out in the backyard; that’s why I was going to phone you.”

  “Why was that suspicious?”

  “Shelia died when Mo was fifteen. Mo and her Dad would garden for hours together, but after she had the baby and moved out, she had to have her own place in order to collect welfare, nobody went in that back yard except Robert. Eventually little Tracy would come over and garden with her Grandpa. When the new Mrs. Thing moved in, she didn’t give a hoot about gardening. So when I saw two adults out there at night, I opened my window and yelled, “Who’s there?”. Even though it was nearly summer and of course, it stays light pretty late, I couldn’t see them because of the shadow from the house.”

  Gracie was intrigued. Two people? “What happened?”

  “It was that Sheree who yelled back at me; I’d recognize that cackle anywhere. She laughed and said, “Oh Mrs. Hamilton, it’s just me! I’m working out here on a surprise for Robert.” Well, I knew I saw two people, so I yelled right back, who’s there with you? Some male says, “Oh Mrs. Hamilton, it’s just me! I’m working with Sheree on a surprise for Robert.”

  “Did you recognize the voice?”

  “No, I sure didn’t, but I think I would if I ever heard it again. He seemed to have an accent of some sort; I couldn’t quite place it. Then I heard something like g
lass breaking, so I called out again, “Everything all right over there?” And that sarcastic male says, “Oh Mrs. Hamilton why don’t you mind your own beeswax!” I thought it odd, especially when Robert died the next day, but the police ruled it an accident. I bet it wasn’t though. Is that why you’re here?”

  Gracie nodded. “There’s only so much I can say. But I wonder if you could tell all this to the police?”

  “Of course I’ll tell the police if you think I should, but we had a deal Gracie Noseworthy! You’ve got to tell me more than that.”

  “The dear widow stole the granddaughter’s money. Sheree got forged ID; pretended she was Maureen and collected the life insurance check meant for Tracy! All fifty thousand dollars of it!”

  “No!” gasped Joyce Hamilton.

  In spite of herself, Gracie loved spilling the details. “But, do you want to know something that even Maureen and Tracy don’t know?”

  Joyce said “Of course!” as the timer sounded on the stove. She put trivets on the counter and slammed the two trays of perfectly browned baking powder biscuits down. “Go!” she ordered Gracie.

  “The life insurance policy was one of those installment ones. So Tracy would get a certain sum every year, of course to be managed by her Mom, instead of one huge sum.”

  “That is fantastic news. Do you realize what this means? Tracy’s going to University to become some sort of dental surgeon!”

  Joyce buttered two biscuits and set them before Gracie.

  “You’ll need a coffee to go with that. So what happened this morning?”

  “Well, she was arrested for fraud. Plus, they are waiting lab results on a coffee she was trying to get Tracy to drink. I think somehow in Sheree’s twisted brain she figured if she got rid of the real beneficiary of the life insurance policy, then she’d be home free. But here’s the really big news. It’s not public knowledge yet so…”

  “You got it Gracie; I won’t say anything. Maybe I better cancel that meeting tonight, so I don’t inadvertently spill the beans!”

  “No, I think you’re going to be the star of the meeting with the inside track. It will be public knowledge this afternoon. Sheree Smiley was also charged with the murder of her husband Robert Smiley.”

  “No!” Joyce gasped.

  “Yes. And her co-conspirator, Danny Lachman was charged as well. He was none other than her personal trainer! Apparently, Sheree had sued him on some pretense, then to make it up to him, convinced him to help her kill her husband and she would split the life insurance money with him.”

  “Was he quite a bit younger than her? I mean, he told me to mind my own beeswax. It sounded like an immature thing to say.”

  Gracie drank her cup of coffee and told Joyce about her search for a personal trainer that afternoon. Gracie did not tell Joyce that Ted had told her the trainer’s name was Danny Lachman and Gracie had agreed to do a bit of undercover work at the gym. As directed, Gracie told Danny during their interview, that Sheree Smiley had recommended him, and did you hear Sheree had received over a million dollars in a life insurance pay out last year?

  Gracie also did not tell Joyce that yes Danny was young but was terribly good looking in a muscular tanned kind of way. If you liked that sort of thing.

  “So Danny went to complain to the police that he had helped Sheree kill her husband and he didn’t even get his fair share of the money promised him.”

  “Poor thing,” said Joyce, “I imagine the police patted his hand and told Sheree to give him the money.”

  “Not quite,” laughed Gracie. “The way I heard it; Danny was perplexed when he was arrested. He kept insisting Sheree owed him money and the police should arrest her for theft.” Gracie smiled wryly. “He was assured several times that Sheree was already arrested, and she would be charged with murder. Danny probably still doesn’t understand that when you confess to murder, that rather trumps any complaints you might have.”

  “So who’s moving in next to me?” Joyce wondered. “Please don’t tell me Sheree has a sister!”

  “Maureen and Tracy! They inherit everything now!”

  “How flipping fantastic! Oh that yard is going to be breathtaking again once those two work their magic on it!”

  Gracie put Joyce’s number in her phone and promised to call her when everything was public knowledge. When Joyce found out Gracie was headed over to Maureen’s, she made Gracie promise to give them her love.

  After Gracie left, Joyce received a phone call she was rather expecting. It was the receptionist from ‘buns r us’ telling Joyce that, regretfully, her personal training session with Danny Lachman was cancelled and that he would not be available for the foreseeable future.

  Joyce sat down and ate three more biscuits. She would start her diet tomorrow.

  A Garden Party for Death

  She sat at her tidy desk, elegantly addressing invitations. The calligraphy pen was a gift from a long-ago suitor who had died under mysterious circumstances. She only used it for very special occasions.

  “You are formally invited to a garden party for death,” she wrote. “You will be one of thirteen attendees and will be called upon to make a short speech about how death influenced the choices you have made in your life. Formal attire is required, and it must be completely black with the exception of a white boutonniere for men and a white corsage for women. Hats are optional.

  If they are living at the time, the list of attendees will be as follows:

  Mr. Ted Bailey

  Mr. Fred Downton

  Mr. Byron Eggplant

  Mr. Barry Frederickson

  Mrs. Trudy-Faye Gervais

  Mr. Conrad Jeffries

  Mrs. Gracie Noseworthy

  Mr. Anderson Payne

  Mr. Leon Pitre

  Miss Barbara Shire

  Miss Maureen Smiley

  Mrs. Julia Smith

  Mrs. Jasmine Summan

  She added the address, date and time of the garden party and mailed each invitation in an envelope with black edging.

  She neglected to mention that death would be at the garden party as well. After all, it was his party. Or was it her party?

  At the appointed time, the garden party took place in the peony garden at the Huckleberry Hospice. The peonies were just about at the end of their season; the gardener had not cut them back yet, so they drooped down and shed their petals like colorful tears.

  The table was sparsely set for the party. A white linen tablecloth with thirteen crystal glasses already filled with white wine. A series of white cards were laid out along the length of the table, each elegantly adorned with a number.

  Julia Smith was the first to arrive. She wore a thigh length floral lace dress with a miniature top hat perched on her head. Julia’s hat had a long train of netting that flowed down her back. She picked up the card with number one calligraphed on it and sat down.

  Conrad Jeffries was next. His black suit was expertly tailored and complimented by a beautifully pressed black cotton shirt with a black silk tie. He wore a tiny white rose for his boutonniere. He wondered what number he should pick up when Julia waved her number one card at him. He picked up the card with number two written on it and sat beside Julia.

  “Are we allowed to talk?” she asked.

  “I don’t see why not,” he said. “I’m Conrad.”

  “I’m Julia. I forgot I should be wearing a corsage.”

  Conrad relished his new life. He was determined to be the gentleman he always dreamed he could be, so he hopped up and went over to a white peony bush and broke off a beautiful bloom.

  It seemed to explode in his hands. The white petals fell on his highly polished black shoes and rested there.

  Julia was mesmerized. A sweet fragrance was released as the petals fell and Julia wondered if she had ever seen anything more beautiful than this huge man trying to bring her a delicate flower.

  She got up and together they looked at the other blooms and gently tapped them for integrity. When they found the pe
rfect blossom they carefully snapped it off the stem.

  How to affix it to Julia’s wrist?

  Conrad ran to his car and returned with a roll of black electrical tape. He wrapped the tape, sticky side out and sat the white peony on top. Julia used her pointer finger, beautifully manicured with a deep charcoal polish and pressed down. Her corsage was complete.

  Trudy-Faye Gervais showed up next, red and sweating in a too long black velvet gown, with a deep V in the front and a high side slit. She sat down heavily at the table and reached for the number three card. She seemed to be wearing the same tiny white rose on her wrist that Conrad was wearing in his label.

  Anderson Payne and Maureen Smiley showed up at the same time and literally bumped heads reaching for the same card. Anderson relinquished his hold on card four and picked up card five. They sat down beside one another and began chatting.

  Anderson, determined not to be burned again, opened with, “Do you have a pond in your garden?”

  Maureen looked at this funny little man, with his prissy little manners and thought he was precious. He was dressed to the nines in the most elegant of attire but came across as anything but elegant in his conversation. She liked him.

  “My daughter and I have recently come into money and we are indeed thinking of a pond. Now hold onto your regal hat..”

  Anderson was wearing a large top hat and he reached his hands up and held onto it as Maureen went on, “My daughter, Tracy, did a report on Japan and fell in love with their fish. They’re called Koi and they come all sorts of colors but we both like the ones that are a little bit different. In fact, both Tracy and I like the ones that are all white with just one red spot on their head.”

  Anderson Payne thought he was going to cry.

  It looked as though Leon Pitre had been crying when he came stumbling into the peony garden. He knocked back his glass of white wine and smiled genially at the other guests.

  “Anyone up for a song?” he asked.

  Julia gave him card number six and told him she would sing with him later.

  Ted and Gracie came to the party arm in arm. She looked stunning in her floor length gown. It had an all lace bodice and matching sleeves. The gown had ruching over one hip and draped beautifully on Gracie’s slim figure. Her hair was an up-do with large loops of lace scattered among her curls.