“Yeah, Preston. It’s better to break up now than in five years, I guess,” she agrees, but she has an edge to her voice as her anger burns through.
I hang my head. “I know what you’re thinking: that they were right about me. But I’m not running away from this relationship.”
“You’re not?” she asks, lifting her brow.
“No, I’m doing the opposite. I’m taking this seriously, and for the first time in my life, I’m not just thinking about myself or the present moment. I’m thinking of both of us and the future. Please understand that.” I reach for her hand but she jerks it away.
“I understand, Preston. You can go now.” She gets up and walks to the door, opening it for me.
I hang my head as I let out a long breath and shuffle toward the door. Before I step out, I turn to face her. “This isn’t goodbye, Riley.”
“Yes, it is, Preston. When you’re in a relationship with someone, you don’t just make decisions on your own. It’s an equal partnership. If you don’t understand that, then what’s the point?”
I step out into the hallway and she shuts the door between us. I let out a long sigh as a pain rips through my chest, but I push myself forward. The pain would only be worse if I let this go on any longer. I’m doing the right thing here. Not only am I saving my ass, but I’m saving hers from years of fights, arguments, and pain. Time will heal my heart and hers. We just need our space.
By the time I’m walking back into my apartment, my phone is ringing. I pull it out of my pocket to see Piper’s name on the screen. Word travels fast.
I answer the call. “Hey, Pipes.”
“Don’t you hey, Pipes me. What the fuck, Preston?”
I let out a long breath as I take a seat on the couch. “I know. I fucked up. I did the one thing I was told not to. I’m sorry. I really am. But I think it’s better this way.”
“You think it’s better this way? Do tell.” She’s being a smart-ass. I can tell by her tone.
“We were just moving too fast. We were going to fuck it up somehow. It’s just . . . better to end it now than wait until we’re both old and miserable, you know?”
“And what makes you think you two would end up old and miserable?”
I shrug. “It’s just likely we would.”
“Everyone takes that chance, Preston. You don’t think I didn’t have the same thought when it came to marrying Calvin? Or that our parents didn’t think the same thing when they got married? And look at them now.”
“I know, Piper, but you and Calvin have known each other your whole life. And it’s practically the same for our parents. Riley and I have been moving too fast. I mean, we went from meeting to instant friends. Friends to lovers. And now, we’ve only been sleeping together for a short time, and it already feels like we’re ready to walk down the aisle. I just need to slow things down. Get some space. Have time to think about what I really want out of life, you know?”
She lets out a heavy breath and I’m sure she’s shaking her head at me.
“Trust me, Piper. It’s better this way.”
“I hope you’re right, Preston, but that’s not going to stop me from being mad and hanging up on you.” Without another word, she hangs up and I let the phone drop to my side.
Fuck, I hope I’m right.
Twelve
Riley
“Seriously, how are you doing?” Piper asks as she sits on the other end of my couch. We each have a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in our hands, compliments of Piper and her breakup goodie bag.
I pick up the bottle of wine and take a swig before helping myself to another scoop of ice cream. I nod. “I’m fine. Seriously. And the ice cream, wine, movies, snacks, and tissues were a nice touch.” I smile at her.
She tilts her head to the side as she inspects me. “I know that isn’t the truth, Riley. I mean, you’ve been broken up with—and by Preston, of all people! I’ve dried the eyes of many of Preston’s girls, and they didn’t have anything more than a fling. You’ve had him longer than anyone, so I’m not buying this tough-girl act.”
I giggle. “No, seriously. I mean, of course I’m upset. I really thought we had something special and I was starting to see the life we could have together, but he was right about one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s better to end it now before things get too serious.”
She shakes her head as she lets out a long breath. “Both of you drive me fucking crazy, you know that?”
I laugh. “I know, but you love us,” I remind her.
The two of us sit and eat our ice cream. I drink the wine and we watch sappy movies and stuff our faces with the junk food she brought and the pizza we ordered. Being a hormonal pregnant woman, she cries through the movies and I wipe her tears away with my tough-girl act intact. Once she’s convinced I’m as fine as I say I am, she gathers her things and leaves. I walk her to the door, thank her for her concern, and give her a hug before locking it behind her. I lean my back against the door and look around my empty, quiet apartment. I’ve never felt more alone.
What did I do before Preston was always here, taking up space? I can’t seem to remember how I lived before him. I know I went to work, came home, and had dinner. I’d watch a movie or read, then I’d take a shower, clean up a bit, and go to sleep, only to do it all over again the next day. And I was fine with that. So how is it that suddenly I’m not? I feel tears stinging my eyes. They quickly overflow and roll down my cheeks. I move to the couch and lie down, staring at the TV screen without watching anything. I miss his heat behind me. I miss his arms around me. I miss the way his breath would blow across my cheek, and the way it tickled the hairs on my arms. I miss our talks and laughs. I miss spending time with him. I miss not being alone. I just miss him. He’s going to be a hard one to get over, but I know I can do it. I’ve done it before—not with him, but with countless others.
The most important part is to handle this maturely so Piper and Calvin don’t get thrown into the mix. I have to be able to process my emotions, mourn, and overcome. And I’ll have to be an adult about it when I see him at baby-related family functions. I’ll have to be okay with running into him and his date in a crowded bar. I feel my heart crack just a little bit more. The tears I’d managed to hold back while Piper was here are now falling freely. I don’t bother trying to stop them. This is part of the grieving process after all. Maybe that’s all I need: one good cry to get him out of my system. Then I’ll be able to move forward with my life, ready to find the guy I’m meant to be with for the rest of my life. Tomorrow is a new day and I won’t let today hold me back. I can do this.
Getting over Preston hasn’t been as easy as I thought it’d be. It’s been just over a month and I haven’t heard from him or seen him since the day he walked out of my apartment. Piper was calling every day to check on me for a while, but she’s convinced I’m just fine and those calls have slowed.
I even ran into Calvin a few times, and each time, he’d ask me how I was doing, but it wasn’t a friendly hey, how are you doing? It was more of an I’m concerned . . . how are you doing?
Every time, it annoyed me to the core. I mean, who do these people think Preston is? It’s not like I’ve lost the best man to walk the planet. It’s not impossible to get over Preston Young, and I’m going to make sure everyone knows it. I only allow myself to fall apart in the comfort of my own home, away from prying eyes. But now that more time has passed, even those crying fits aren’t coming as much. Slowly but surely, I’m getting my life back to normal.
I wake in the morning, ready to start my day, but the moment I stand up, a wave of nausea washes over me. My stomach rolls and my mouth waters. I rush to the bathroom and the quick movements don’t help my stomach. I fall to my knees and empty my stomach in the toilet. I stay there, kneeling in front of the toilet for as long as necessary. When I feel there’s nothing left to heave up, I stand and flush the toilet, moving to the sink to brush my teeth.
I grab
my toothbrush out of the holder and get to work on brushing. As I stand there in front of the mirror, I wonder why I’m feeling so sick. Did I catch something? Did I eat something that didn’t agree with me? What did I have for dinner last night? I think back to the cup of Kraft Easy Mac I consumed on the couch as I watched Netflix. That shouldn’t have done it.
As I bend down to spit out my toothpaste and rinse my mouth, my eyes catch a glimpse of the tampon box on the corner of the counter. I freeze. How long has it been since I had my period? I try counting back. I’ve been so preoccupied by work and trying to get over Preston that time has passed by unusually slowly. I didn’t even realize I’d missed my period.
I quickly rush to my bedroom to grab some clothes. I pull on some black leggings and a hoodie, then grab my phone, wallet, and keys and hit the door. There’s a little pharmacy around the corner and it doesn’t take me any time at all to round the block and walk into the store. I head straight to the section I need. I grab the first box I find then rush to the register to pay. I’m back home 10 minutes later. I’m so anxious and nervous that peeing isn’t a problem. I lay the stick on the sink and set a timer on my phone for three minutes.
I refuse to look at the stick before it’s time. Instead, I pace back and forth up and down my hallway. I can’t believe I was so careless to have possibly let this happen. And it couldn’t have come at a worse time. I’m not even with Preston anymore. How could I be having his baby? Oh God. Preston. He can’t even commit to a relationship. If I’m pregnant, how is he going to handle the news that he’s going to be a dad? A dizzy spell comes over me and I have to sit down. I slide down the wall in the hallway until my butt hits the floor. I bring my knees to my chest and wrap my arms around them. I rest my head on my knees and close my eyes. Maybe I don’t have to tell him. I mean, it’s clear he doesn’t want to be with me. I don’t want him to think I’m trying to trap him into staying with me. But is it wrong to keep this from him?
The timer goes off. Moment of truth.
I push myself up to my feet and walk back into the bathroom on shaky legs. The stick is on the counter where I left it and I can’t take my eyes off it as I enter the bathroom and cross the floor. Two lines. Two lines? I grab the paper with the directions to read over my result. Two lines means positive. I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby on my own because I’m no longer with the father. God, my mom is going to kill me.
I’m eating my feelings later in the day as I try to process everything and make up my mind on what it is I want to do. Do I want to keep the baby? Do I want to give it up for adoption? Do I want to tell Preston? I don’t want to tell Piper, because I know she’ll tell Preston, and I don’t want this baby changing Preston’s mind and making him think he wants me too. I don’t know who to talk to about all of this, so I call my mom just like I always do when I find myself in a jam with a big decision to make.
“Hey, honey,” Mom answers the phone. “What’s up?”
“Mom . . .” I cry.
Her mom gene kicks in. “What’s the matter? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”
“I’m fine. Mom,” I say around another sob as I force myself to dry my tears. “I’m in trouble, Mom,” I confess.
“Well, tell me about it and we can figure it out, honey.”
I take a deep breath. “I was dating this guy and everything was going great, but then we broke up, and today I found out I’m pregnant. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to tell the guy and have him change his mind because of the baby, but I don’t want to raise a baby all alone either. I don’t know what to do.”
“Shh, it looks like you are in a pickle,” she says. “I guess the first thing I need to ask is . . . do you want this baby?”
I shrug like she can see me. “I don’t know. I mean, I want kids one day, sure. But I was hoping it would be far in the future, like after I’m married and with the man I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with.”
“Well, things don’t always work out as planned, now do they?”
“Tell me what I should do. Just tell me.”
“I can’t, honey. This is your life. You’re an adult now and it’s your decision. Though I will tell you that if you want to keep this baby, it’s okay. You can move back home with me and I’ll help you as much as I can. You know that.”
I guess moving back home would be a lot easier with family around. It would beat living in the city and trying to raise a baby by myself. “You’d really do that?” I ask.
“Of course. A baby isn’t a mistake, honey. It’s a miracle. And I know you’ll make a great mom, whether you have someone by your side or not.”
I nod my head as the tears start to fall again. “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”
“I love you too, honey. Just let me know what you decide, and call if you need anything.”
“I will. Bye, Mom.”
After talking to my mom, I do feel a little better. I’m so lucky to have her and the rest of my family. I won’t have to do this alone, even if I choose to. Now that that’s settled, I need to figure out if this baby is what I want. I finish off my pizza and ice cream from the other day and lie on the couch. My first thought is to grab some wine or a beer to help the time pass, but then I remember that drinking is now off the table for me. I need something to focus on, so I grab my laptop and start filling out some applications for jobs back home. I apply to a local grocery store, the post office, a gas station, and the newspaper. The last one’s my preference. Even if I have to move out of the city, I’d still love to keep writing if I can’t work remotely with my current job. When that’s done, I start looking for houses and apartments to rent. I know Mom said she’d help with anything she can, but I don’t want to move back into my childhood bedroom. I want my own place where this baby will have her own room. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling it’s a girl, so I’ll be calling it “her” from now on.
I find several houses in my price range and they’re all the perfect size. They’re close to my mom’s house too, so that’s good. But moving out of the city and back to the country isn’t something I’m looking forward to. I like the city life. I like having a coffee shop on every corner and plenty of stores to choose from. Back home, I’ll have one place to get coffee and maybe two clothing stores if I’m lucky. Everything just moves so much more slowly in the country. But I guess I had plans on moving back one day anyway. Now is as good of a time as any.
The weekend approaches and I decide to keep busy by packing up my apartment. This is just light packing—consolidating the things I won’t need in the near future, such as decorative items I rarely use. This will make the serious packing so much easier in the coming weeks.
Piper swings by to show me some new baby catalog and I actually take the time to flip through it since I’ll be doing this on my own.
“Doesn’t this place have the cutest stuff? I’m so glad I found it,” she says, pointing at various items on the pages and making notes.
“It does. This stuff is adorable. You’ll have the most spoiled baby in the world,” I joke.
As I continue to flip, she laughs and talks more about the crib and bedding set she plans on getting. Suddenly, her talking stops and it draws my attention to her.
“What?” I ask as she looks to be staring off into space.
“What’s with all the boxes? And where’s all your stuff?”
I take a deep breath and close the magazine. “I’m moving back home,” I confess.
“What? Why?”
I shrug. “It’s just that . . . after Preston and I broke up, I haven’t been feeling the city life anymore.”
Her head swings around to look at me. “Does Preston know?”
“What? No, I haven’t talked to him since we broke up.”
“You need to talk to Preston,” she says, nodding her head.
I shake mine. “What? Absolutely not. We broke up. He doesn’t have a say in this decision.”
She reaches out and grabs my arm. “No, Riley. You n
eed to talk to Preston.”
“I don’t understand why you keep saying that, Piper. Preston and I are done.”
She nearly growls. “I promised I wouldn’t say anything, but I can’t not say it in this dire situation.”
“What?”
“Preston has been coming by a lot.”
“Yeah?”
“And he’s lost without you, Riley. He was terrified he’d screw things up with you, so he ended it before he could ruin everything. But he wants to get back together with you. He told me. And if you guys don’t talk soon, you’ll move and you’ll never get back together.”
I shake my head. “Why are you telling me this and not him?”
“Because he’s afraid you’ll turn him down. He knows he hurt you and he doesn’t want to do that again. You want him. He wants you. So get back together.” She’s wearing a wide smile like she’s just fixed everything, but she doesn’t know about everything that needs fixing.
“It doesn’t work that way, Piper.” I stand up, feeling the need to pace. “You can’t just fix all our problems for us. If he wants to get back together, then he needs to come see me—and not because you told him to. And even after that, there’s no guarantee everything will be fixed.”
There’s a knock on the door and I walk over to answer it. “Seriously, Piper? Did you order more food?” I ask, pulling the door open and coming face-to-face with Preston.
He looks so good that my mouth is watering. He’s wearing a pair of baggy jeans with his hands tucked in the pockets. A red T-shirt fits snugly across his muscles, and his hair is a floppy mess, but it looks sexy—like he just ran his fingers through it.
Marrying My Best Friend's BFF: A Friends to Lovers, Accidental Baby Romance (Love You Forever Book 2) Page 14
