Finding Us (Pack Bardot Book 3)

by M. K. Harper

  “I’m coming in! Please make sure all your bits and pieces are covered. I don’t think I could come back from seeing that.” Lex walks in, one hand over her eyes. Her fingers tentatively spread, cracking apart just enough so that she can peek through and make sure we are, in fact, decent.

  “Oh, good. No naughty stuff going on. Thought for sure you’d be fornicating, considering it smells like a brothel in here,” Lex scrunches her nose. Scenting two wolves, pure or not, who’ve just mated would be the norm for it to have only been a few hours. My girl looks like she’s about to keel over.

  “Well, it’s not for lack of trying,” I deadpan, leveling Lex with a look of annoyance. Linny’s cheeks tint pink, her hands clamping over her face as she groans in embarrassment.

  “Right.” Lex does that weird smile thing, looking uncomfortable. “So, straight to the point then. That Feral daddy wolf out there is losing his shit. One of those, ya have to see it to believe it kinda things. And Alpha says Linny is the point of contact for all things regarding said wolf.” She hikes a thumb over her shoulder, gesturing in the direction of the gym.

  “Me?!” Linny squeaks. I just smile as I look back at my mate. Pop clearly sees what I do. That wolf of hers is right there, so close to the surface I can almost feel her. Last night only proves what I’ve known all along. She was practically all wolf when she sank her teeth into me, her eyes so bright they were glowing. I watch Linny absorb this new information, her chest rising on an inhale, her spine straightening as she readies herself to face whatever bullshit Benjamin’s bringing to our door. Fuck, my mate is something else. I can’t wait to see how amazing she’ll be when she fully comes into her own, and I have no doubt that she will. But I think Linny needs to come to terms with who and what she is before that’ll happen. We’ve got nothing but time, and she’ll get there eventually.

  “Well, okie dokie artichokies. Let’s go see what all the fuss is about!” Linny hops down, her armor locked in place. “I should probably put on some pants before dealing with my asshole father.” I can’t help but grin at the put-out look she’s wearing. She rejoins us a few minutes later, a pair of boxers to go with my shirt she’s still wearing. Linny isn’t subtle, and this right here is her blatant “fuck you, I have no reason to try and impress you” to Benjamin. She’s gonna eat that man alive before this is all over with.

  Chapter 6

  Daxton

  When we reach the doors to the gym, Linny pauses. I watch her hesitate for a moment, her outreached hand hovering over one of the handles. I can barely make out the slight tremble of it, but I’m attuned to all things Linny, so I see it. I look back at Lex, raising an eyebrow in question. She appears just as lost as I am. And where my girl is concerned, that’s not a I place I like to be. Linny shrugs off whatever had her momentarily hesitating and pulls the door open. The screech it makes causes her to flinch. Something about that bothers her and I damn sure plan to find out what it is. And then I’m gonna fix it.

  The moment we’re inside, the quiet allows us to hear the clanking of the steel cage housed below. I’m actually surprised we can hear it from one floor up. Whatever’s going on must be pretty intense based on the racket Benjamin is making. That alone makes me want to drag Linny outta here. I don’t like him around my girl. Hell, I don’t want them in the same state as one another. The fact that the man who terrorized her and Grace for years is currently on Pack Bardot land makes my skin crawl. We’re almost to the basement door when Linny stops, her head tilting back to look at something along the far wall. When she starts walking in that direction, my curiosity is peaked.

  “Whatcha doin’?” Lex asks before I can. Linny picks up a wooden baseball bat from the bin of sports equipment. We keep it stashed in the corner for the days we’re able to get everyone together for some fun, even if they are few and far between.

  “Oh, just grabbing me a swing-a-ding,” she states, giving the bat a few tests swings. My head cocks to the side, trying to make sense of what she just said.

  “I’m sorry, a swing-a-ding?” Lex’s lips flatten, her amusement clear.

  “Yeah, ya know...” she starts. “Any funny shit from Benji-Boy and it’s a swing at his ding.” She gestures to her crotch area. I groan, my hands reflexively moving to cover my own ding. That semi I’d been sporting since our shower this morning completely deflates. My mate grins wickedly as she turns and saunters away. I swear her hips sway more than usual, taunting me. And like magic, my dick starts to perk up once again. Pulling myself together, I follow along like the lovesick puppy I am. Lex is close behind me as we navigate the stairs and as soon as we reach the bottom, I maneuver myself in front of Linny. There’s not a chance in hell I’m gonna let her go in first when I’m not sure what we’re walking into. Lex’s explanation as to why we were needed was vague at best.

  When Benjamin comes into view, I stop abruptly, causing Linny to face plant my back. I’m not sure what I’m seeing, but I know it’s not anything I’ve ever witnessed before. My gut churns as I watch the Feral wolf twist in and out of shifting. It’s like he’s caught somewhere in between, unable to fully commit to either side of himself. I swallow the bile trying to climb up my throat, but still can’t make myself look away from the horror happening right in front of me. It’s like a car crash that I can’t stop staring at. If I weren’t seeing this with my own two eyes, I wouldn’t believe it. Just as I’m contemplating ushering Linny back up the stairs she slips from behind me, a gasp falling from her lips.

  “What’s happening to him?” she asks quietly, her voice just as horrified as I feel. Shit, I wish I knew what to say but I don’t have a fucking clue. This is well above my pay grade.

  “Lex go get Pop,” I order, still focused on the partially shifted wolf in front of me. This isn’t something I can handle, much less Linny. I know Pop wanted to give her a sense of control, but this is too much. She nods, hurrying off to bring our Alpha back. Hopefully, he can make sense of what this is. Linny looks so confused and angry, the pulse in her neck thumping rapidly as she takes a tentative step closer.

  “Nope.” I snake my arm around her, lifting her clear of the ground and swinging us around.

  “Daxton!” she growls. Ah, hell. I’m not sure she’s ever used my full name before. I can tell she’s gearing up to tear me a new one, so I quickly cut her off.

  “Until I know more about what that is, you aren’t going anywhere near him. You are my mate, and there’s no way in hell my wolf will sit by while you go skipping off to try and find out for yourself. Do me a solid and don’t fight me on this one, Linny. I swear I will throw your ass over my shoulder and carry you the fuck out of here.” I try to keep the growl from my voice, but I can tell I failed by the pissed off look I’m getting.

  “Stop growling at me,” she snarls. I snort. Damn if she didn’t just give me a taste of my own medicine. Before I can form a response, footsteps sound from the stairwell and a few seconds later Pop and Lex are joining us. Both are out of breath and wearing matching looks of concern.

  “What’s goin’ on, son?” Pop knows I’d never call for him if it wasn’t important. I nod behind us, letting him see for himself. Like Lex told us, it’s kinda hard to explain. His eyes widen in alarm when he takes in Benjamin, his half-shifted body thrashing about. His clawed human hands paw at the steel bars, the noise it creates almost deafening. The sounds coming from his snout-slash-mouth are what’s truly horrifying, though. I’ve never heard search agony vocalized before.

  “Dear God...” Pop trails off, his disbelief evident. “I’ve only ever heard about this happenin’. I honestly never believed it could be true.” He shakes his head, like maybe he can etch-a-sketch the image away. No can do. I think this particular sight will be seared into my retinas for a hot minute.

  “And what exactly is this?” Lex asks, the only one of us who can seem to form an intelligent thought. Pop turns his back to Benjamin, a hand scrubbing down his face as he blows out a loaded breath.

  “That’
s what happens when a wolf is past the point of Feral.” He glances at Linny and grimaces, like he doesn’t want to say anything else in front of her, but she just crosses her arms and waits him out. Pop shakes his head, but finally continues. “His wolf is tearin’ him apart from the inside. That half of him is in agony and wants it to end. Benjamin will stay partly shifted until he succumbs to the pain and his body gives up. There ain’t no way for me to sugar coat it, so I’m sorry for how bad this is gonna sound, Itty Bitty.” Pop looks at my girl with pity, making her sway unsteadily.

  “Your father is beyond savin,’ sweetheart. The best thing we can do for him now is to put him down. He’s in unimaginable pain, and it’s only gonna get worse I’m afraid.” Pop looks as grim as his words sound. A million different emotions flit about Linny’s face in rapid succession. Shock, anger, sadness. I wait with bated breath for her to react, to have some sort of response, but it feels like an eternity passes before she finally speaks.

  “No.” One word, that’s all. She practically snarls it, leaving no room for discussion. Pop lifts his hands placatingly, taking notice of the luminescent shift in her eyes.

  “It’s your choice, Itty Bitty. I meant it when I said you’re callin’ the shots for all things regardin’ your father. But I need you to understand that the humane thing to do would be to end his sufferin’.” Pop speaks slowly, his voice trying to calm my furious mate. Linny’s practically vibrating she’s so worked up. I’m not sure which part of this her anger is stemming from, so I do the smart thing and keep my fucking mouth shut. Lex is watching Linny with a manic glint in her eyes, her freaky ass smile so big I can see her damn molars. Her excitement could either be from seeing her stand up to our Alpha like that or witnessing Linny’s wolf peek through, giving us a little wink. Who the hell knows with Lex.

  “Just...not yet.” Sadness seeps into Linny’s voice, all that vibrato slipping away. She just looks defeated now. I wrap my arms around her, hating every second of this whole damn situation. She clings to me, her face buried against my chest. There might not be any love lost between me and Benjamin, but the same can’t be said for my girl. A part of her still longs for the man she knew all those years ago, and I wish more than anything I could give him back to her. Unfortunately, it seems we have some more heartbreak to wade through before life can resume its regularly scheduled programming.

  Chapter 7

  Linden

  I give myself a few minutes in Dax’s arms, allowing the comfort he’s offering to help soothe away some of the hurt. I breathe him in, that mint and spice scent of his overpowering the urine and shit one coming from my father. I let the thump of his heart drown out everything else. Those blissful seconds are enough for me to pack it all away into tiny “Do Not Open” boxes, and shove to the far recesses of my mind. At least for now. I step away from Dax, my brain trying to prioritize what needs to be done first, but I’m still too shaken to think properly. Fuck my life, dude. I’m gonna go gray prematurely, and I’m way too young for that.

  What I really need, is to get the hell out of here. That feels an awful lot like running from my problems, but right now...I don’t even care. A comical image of that stupid roadrunner cartoon pops into my head, picturing a Linden sized dust cloud in my wake, my ass long gone. That’s how badly I want to remove myself from this situation. The thud the bat makes as I drop it snaps me out of my daydream. I hadn’t even realized I’d still been holding it. Damn, I was kinda looking forward to testing it out too. Jesus, that’s morbid. Right. Air is definitely needed because I’m obviously suffering from oxygen deprivation.

  “Why don’t we take a breather and clear our heads?” Dax tilts my chin up, once again reading me so well I’m starting to wonder if he can actually hear my thoughts. I nod, letting him take my hand and steer me out of there. Just as we’re about to head up the stairs, my father’s voice, a sound I never thought I’d have to hear again, fills the quiet.

  “End...it,” he grinds out, the effort it takes to say those few words making itself known with how his body contorts painfully. He still has that angry lilt that seems to have threaded itself into his very being. My eyes close, unable to watch a second more of this. They stay tightly clenched the entire way out of the gym. I don’t dare open them again until I can smell the outdoors and glimpse the bright sun shining through my eyelids. Dax is the first thing I see when I do pry them apart. For some reason, that’s what tips me over the edge. Silent tears stream down my face. My mate pulls me against him, one hand wrapping around me and the other stroking the back of my head. He doesn’t say anything, he just lets me be. Allows me to feel everything that I am without any guilt or pressure.

  I’ve imagined my father’s death more times than I count over the years. Planned and plotted it in my mind. Most scenarios were pretty grotesque and a product of watching way too many Investigation Discovery shows. But for some reason, now that I’m faced with it, I can’t accept it. Or maybe it’s just that I’m the one, at the end of the day, who will sign his death warrant. And that’s not something I’m ready to have on my conscious. I’m still working through the last one. Benjamin Britton doesn’t deserve any kindness from me, but the only thing I can seem to think about is Mom and her telling me that it’s not really his fault. He ruined my childhood. Destroyed Mom’s idea of a happily ever after. And yet, I can’t ignore the fact that he didn’t choose any of this. No, apparently fate did. I want to curse the bitch to high heaven, but how can I when the same guiding force gave me Dax. The man currently holding me together when all I want to do is fall apart. I’m not going to, though. It would be so easy to crawl back into bed, shut the world out and live in a bubble of denial. But I’ve been there, done that. Not really feeling the need for a repeat.

  “Why don’t we head on over to Ma and Pop’s? I’m sure there’s a little wolf who’s dying to see you.” Dax brushes my hair back as I pull away, swiping at the few tears that still linger. I paste on a smile that won’t fool anyone and nod. Looking around, I notice that Carder and Lex have disappeared. Probably best that they didn’t witness my mini meltdown. Right now, I just want to go bask in my new non-virgin status, spend time with our family and love on my sweet LT. So that’s exactly what I do, linking my hand with Dax’s as we walk away from the gym. I know I can’t leave this problem to deal with at too much of a later date, but there’s fuck all I can do right this second. My head isn’t in the right place to make such a permanent decision regarding my father, and more than anything, it’s something I need to talk about with Mom. There’s no way I wouldn’t talk this over with her first. I’m so lost in thought I don’t realize we’ve made it to Beatrix and Carder’s until that familiar sound of the front door flying open grabs my attention. A flustered and grumbling Caulder comes storming down the steps a second later.

  “About time!” he wedges himself between me and Dax, shoving my mate aside and taking my newly freed hand. “Custody. Agreement,” he growls, jabbing a tiny finger at Dax. “You’ve lost free rein privileges with Lindy, you stingy old poot.” LT marches back to the house, dragging me along in his fit of rage. Looking back at Dax, his mouth hanging open in shock, makes a laugh bubble out of me. Once we’re inside, Caulder turns his heated glare on me. I shuffle, feeling like I’m about to get my ass handed to me. Shit, am I really cowering under the ire a six-year-old? Yes. Yes, I am.

  “You stink,” he scrunches his nose adorably. “You smell like Dax.” My little dude shoves a finger in his open mouth and makes a gagging noise. “Lucky for you, that’s an easy fix.” He smiles, then leaps up so fast I almost miss catching him. Someone needs to tell this kid that my reaction time is not as good as he must think it is. One day, we’re both gonna topple over when he pulls that stunt. Caulder roots around on me, his face smooshed against my neck causing me to giggle. Once he’s satisfied that I no longer smell more like Dax than myself, he clasps my cheeks between his hands and smiles up at me.

  “There. All better,” he beams.

  “I
beg to differ,” Dax gripes, finally joining us. “But don’t worry, you’ll smell like me again before the night’s over,” he whispers against my ear, low enough for only me to hear. Caulder slumps out of my arms with an exaggerated plop to the floor. He glares at his uncle before turning towards the kitchen, Dax and I following close behind. I can hear Mom and Beatrix laughing the closer we get. I’m so glad they hit it off. I doubt my mom would have made it through the past couple of weeks without her.

  “Well, I must say,” Beatrix stands and wraps her arms around me. “I wasn’t expecting to see the two of you so soon.” She winks at Dax, making my cheeks feel like they’re on fire. Is it really necessary that everyone make sly little comments about our sex life? Mom raises an eyebrow at me, giving me the distinct feeling that my brain to mouth filter has once again failed me. That things need a goddamn recall. Sensing my embarrassment, Beatrix carries on like nothing happened.

  “Where’s your father, Dax?” She looks behind us, like she might’ve somehow missed the massive wolf. Fat chance of that.

  “Not sure...” Dax steals some of Caulder’s ham sandwich, taking a bite out of it midair. “Thought he’d get here before us.”

  “You hole of ass!” LT yells at him.

  “Caulder James, swear jar!” Beatrix quips reflexively.

  “But ass ain’t a bad word, Nona,” he whines.