Finding Us (Pack Bardot Book 3)

by M. K. Harper

  “You’re diabolical,” Dax kisses me hard. “I fucking love it.” He slaps my ass as he walks away, making me squeak. Carder hits him upside the head as they follow LT and Chevy, whose faint griping can still be heard. Once the guys are out of sight, we give Cyrus, as I overheard him being called, a moment of privacy as he speaks to the women he’s entrusting us with. After a few minutes, he nods to us and heads back the way he came, leaving us ladies standing around in an awkward silence. Beatrix, being the saint she is, breaks the tension and starts assigning each woman to a cabin. Four are placed in one and three in the other. Each room has two twin beds set up so there’s still one vacant should the need arise. I follow the group of three into the left cabin as Mom and Beatrix help the other four to the right one.

  “I know it isn’t much, but we tried to make it feel as homey as possible given the time we had to work with. There’s fresh bedding and new toiletries. Towels are under the sink. The water seems to get pretty hot, but it takes a few minutes for it to heat up fully. There’s also some food in the fridge and pantry, just basics to get you guys by until you’re able to put a shopping list together.” I’m rambling, a glob of nervousness that doesn’t have a clue what to say. I keep my eyes averted, too scared to make contact. If I don’t look, I won’t know for sure how they feel about me. Would I see indifference? Hate? Best not to go down that hole, poppet. I lead them to the two rooms that look hella better than they did this morning. It still isn’t much, but it’s the four seasons compared to where they’ve been. They don’t sit their bags down when I continue the unnecessary tour of the one other room, probably too afraid to let them go, worried they might disappear.

  “There’s an old landline that still works if you need anything or need to reach us. Our numbers are all listed on the piece of paper that’s on the kitchen counter. Seriously, don’t hesitate. It’ll only take us a second to get here.” I chance a glance up, barely meeting their gazes. They nod, but nothing else. Two of them are fairly young, probably my age or only a year or two older. That makes my stomach churn and my heart ache. The third woman looks to be in her mid-thirties or early forties, but she could very well be younger than that and only look older due to all she’s been through. Those assholes definitely had a way of aging you, if not physically, then for certain mentally. I really need to wrap this up and get the hell out of here. My skin’s beginning to crawl with the need to say something. Anything that would justify why I fled like a racehorse out of the chute and tossed up a peace sign on my way out the door. But there are no reasons, no magical answer to explain my actions.

  “Okay,” I practically run to the door. “Give us a ring-a-ding if you need anything!” Palm to the fucking face. I slam the door shut and hot foot it home, berating myself the whole way for my utter ridiculousness and absurdity.

  Chapter 12

  Linden

  The second I close the front door behind me, I slump against it. I power walked the entire way back, not quite frantic enough to warrant a full out run. I tend to save those spurts of cardio for life and death situations, and I absolutely include Lex’s torture sessions - ahem, training - in that category.

  “I figured that’d be quick,” Dax’s voice carries from the living room, the space still bathed in shadows so I had no idea he was there, causing a shrill scream to tear out of me.

  “Son of a nugget, you scared the piss out of me!” I gasp, flicking the light on. “Why are you just sitting in the dark like a psycho?” I glare. Dax pushes up from the couch and saunters over, looking properly chastised for scaring me, but also amused.

  “I just got back. I had a feeling you wouldn’t be able to hang for too long before you needed to escape. I wanted to be here when you got home, but I’m tired as fuck after the day we’ve had so I thought I’d just rest on the couch for a bit.” He threads our fingers together, bringing my wrist up to place a tender kiss on it.

  “Sorry,” I sigh. “This has been a shit day. Two stars. Wouldn’t recommend.” I drop my head against Dax’s chest, letting his heartbeat lull me. We stay that way for a few minutes, him tracing my spine while I breathe him in and remind myself that the world isn’t ending and the sun will still come up tomorrow. Not everything is about you, Linden.

  “Seriously, though...I think I peed a little,” I mumble against him, my head jostling from his laughter.

  “Let’s go get you cleaned up then.” Dax wraps his arms around me and lifts me up. My legs wrap around him automatically, my face burrowing into his neck. I kiss my mark, causing him to rumble in contentment. He carries me straight to our bathroom, kicking the door closed before sitting me on the vanity between the two sinks. Dax flips the shower on and slowly starts to undress me as the water heats up. I stay still, letting him do as he pleases. The look of awe on his face gives me all the feels. When I’m down to nothing, I take over and start the same process with him. With nothing left between us, we step into the shower. I groan as the hot water washes over me.

  “Fuck me. The noises you make...” his lips press against the place where my neck and shoulder meet. It’s one of those spots that really does it for me. I moan, tilting my head to give him better access. He doesn’t disappoint.

  “Feeling needy, Linny?” he questions, his voice gruff and full of desire. I nod, not sure I can make my mouth work enough to say anything that would make sense. Likely just some incoherent babbling if I tried. I think I’ve been needy since our little shower sesh this morning, and it seems we’ve come full circle. Thank you to the almighty orgasm god, whoever that may be, for blessing us with this moment. Probably Chris Hemsworth. Just something about the way he swings that hammer…

  “Don’t worry, I got you.” His hand slides along my stomach until he cups my breast, gaining my full attention. He rolls my nipple between his fingers and my back arches, a gasp falling from my lips. Dax spins me around, crowding me against the shower wall. The cold tiles make me jolt forward, my sensitive flesh lighting up with tiny sparks every place we touch. His lips crash against mine, the kiss dominating every inch of me. A thick finger slides through my folds before piercing me. My cry is swallowed by his relentless assault on my mouth. I’m a little sore from the night before, but the bite of pain isn’t unwelcome. I’ve had sweet Dax, even possessive Dax. But this version is starved. Wild and demanding. Predatory. Wolffish. I’m seconds away from what I know will be a mind-blowing orgasm, when he slips out of me. I want to flick him in the dick, but then he brings those same fingers up and licks them clean. My cheeks heat but I hold his gaze, refusing to be that shy and uncertain girl anymore. Not with him.

  Dax lifts me up, my back slamming against the wall as his hands squeeze my ass. His eyes lock with mine, those beautiful green orbs boring into me, as he lowers me onto him. Every inch is met with a slight sting as he stretches me, but quickly overshadowed with toe curling pleasure. My head drops to his shoulder, a groan escaping me. When Dax finally bottoms out, he pulls back slowly and then slams into me. From there I can only describe it as carnal. The sound of our flesh colliding only spurs him on. I dig my nails into his back, grasping for purchase as he completely owns my body.

  “Goddamnit,” he growls. “Can’t hold out much longer, baby.” Dax’s hand slides between us, his thumb stroking my clit with fever. It doesn’t take much before I fall apart, my scream amplified in the enclosed space. Dax groans before stilling. I think my soul temporarily leaves my body, or maybe it was just so good I blacked out. Either way, A-fucking-plus to my mate. This whole inexperienced virgin thing could’ve gone either way for us, but praise be, Dax is a man of many talents. I blink, suddenly exhausted, and the next thing I’m aware of is Dax is toweling me off, a soft smile on his face. One of his t-shirts is slid over my head before he leads me to bed.

  “Up you go, sleepyhead,” Dax helps me climb in, my limbs feeling so heavy I can barely lift them. The soft sheets feel like heaven as I curl up. Dax slides in, pulling me closer.

  “Wanna talk about today?” He p
ushes my damp hair away from my face.

  “We doing pillow talk?” I smile sleepily.

  “Every night for forever,” he grins back. “You had an eventful day. Don’t want you to keep it all bottled up or pull away.” He sounds sheepish for admitting that and it makes me feel about two inches tall. I really did a number on him when I shut down.

  “You’re right, it was eventful,” I reply quietly, linking my fingers with his. “Chevy’s dad is a real asshole. Like first place in the Asshole Olympics. I feel terrible for not stepping in sooner. And then the Pack Ames women arriving. I have no clue how to act or what to say to them. I don’t think anything that comes out of my mouth will be right. Not to mention my father. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Mom and it’s nagging at me. I can’t just leave him out there, hurting and waiting for Satan to welcome him home. I have so many mixed emotions about him and the way this is playing out. But I’m not him, I’m not cruel. And leaving him to die a slow, agonizing death would make me that person. So, I’ve done my best not to think about him all day. And I know that seems like I’m pretending the problem doesn’t exist, not actually solving it, but I promise that’s not what I’m doing. I just don’t have the answers yet that are needed.” I swallow, not wanting to give in to the tears that are threatening. Dax squeezes my hand.

  “No one expects you to, baby. It’s an impossible situation for anyone. Not one person I know would fare any better given the circumstances. It’s okay to take a moment to sort through everything that you’re feeling. You aren’t prolonging your decision in order to torture your father. Your heart is too good for that. Same goes for those women. I know you wouldn’t have ever left them if you thought for a second that you could have actually gotten them all out safely. Another impossible situation, Linny. But I get it. Guilt is hard to scrub away. How do you think I feel? Or Pop and the rest of Pack Bardot? It was so easy to take out Jackson Ames that I can’t believe we didn’t try sooner. We could have had those women free years ago if only we would’ve been braver. If you try hard enough, you can find a way to blame yourself for just about anything. But what good does that do anyone? The best we can do is move forward and stop with the what-ifs. As for Chevy...he’s here now. This is his home. We’re his family and those fuckwads who raised him won’t ever get to hurt him again, in any capacity. You have to stop trying to shoulder everything, Linny. Geez, didn’t anyone ever tell you that the whole world doesn’t revolve around you?” he jokes, making me snort.

  “Nope. It’s my world, everyone else is just living in it,” I kid, my eyes drooping. Dax brushes his fingers over my face, tracing every feature reverently.

  “Love you, Linny.” I sigh, falling further into unconsciousness. He always knows the right things to say to pull me out of my own head. This, the two of us, it’s real. We have a lot to work through and fix, but it’s comforting to know that, if nothing else, Dax and I are perfectly right.

  Chapter 13

  Linden

  I wake with a start, a scream lodged in my throat. I practically catapult myself from the bed, the covers clenched tightly to my chest as I heave in a breath. My sudden movement must’ve woken Dax as well because he sits up, eyes scanning the room for whatever has me panting like I’ve just run a marathon.

  “What is it? What’s wrong?” I can hear the worry in his voice as his arms slide around my waist and tug me closer. I take a few seconds to gather some composure, trying to process everything before I attempt to explain it to Dax.

  “Just a bad dream,” I finally settle on. His grip around me tightens as he sweeps some of my sweat drenched hair aside. He places a sweet kiss on his mark and waits until I’m no longer a trembling mess before prodding any further.

  “Wanna talk about it?” Dax’s voice is barely more than a whisper. I shake my head; not quite sure I can explain it even if I did want to.

  “No, just hold me for a while?” I ask.

  “Too easy.” He lays us back down, settling me into the curve of his arm. My head rests against his chest, his heartbeat a steady thrum that keeps me focused on the here and now. I lightly trace the tattoos on his other arm, hoping to distract myself enough that I’ll be able to fall back asleep. The sun hasn’t come up yet, and any other day it’d be blasphemous to be up so early. Eventually, Dax’s breathing evens out and he dozes back off. Try as I might, I just can’t get there. That nightmare was a fucking doozy. I swear I could hear my father’s cries of pain all the way from the basement of the gym. Him pleading for me to make it stop, to end his suffering and take away mine and Mom’s fear in one fell swoop. I guess talking about him so close to bedtime put him on my mind when I had been doing my damndest to keep him away. After another half hour of restlessness, I slowly peel myself away from Dax and leave him to finish resting.

  I pad to the kitchen and turn on the coffee maker. I‘ll likely need a cup or ten to be able to function properly today. Checking the fridge, I find my favorite creamer. Three bottles in fact. I smile, knowing Dax is the one responsible. I lean against the counter, basking in the quiet. The faintest glow from outside bleeds through the windows, the rest of the world just starting to wake. Soon there will be birds chirping and a good chance of a tiny tyrant pounding on our door. But for now, it’s just me and the bubbling noise of the coffee pot. The scent filling the air is orgasmic. Hard pressed, the smell of coffee alone might get me through a rough day. Thankfully, today is not that day. I start searching cabinets for a mug, not quite sure where everything is just yet. I’m still shocked at how put together the whole place is. Dax really has blown me away with how thought out our life together has been for him, even before he knew my name or what I even looked like.

  The third cabinet I open reveals the elusive cups, but right above it, sits something even more coveted. A whole two shelves packed full of Oreos. Everything from regular to double stuffed, even specialty packs I’ve never seen before. My mouth falls open, tears springing to my eyes unexpectedly. How? How is this man so goddamned perfect? I can’t compete with this level of thoughtfulness. I can already picture myself completely forgetting our anniversary, meanwhile Dax will have a three course, candlelight meal planned making me look like dog shit. I wipe my eyes and shake my head. For as long as I breathe, he’ll be it for me. I really couldn’t ask for a better mate. I grab a mug and the pack of double stuffed before closing the cabinet. I quickly make my coffee, adding enough creamer that it barely resembles anything less than straight milk, then hop on the counter to enjoy my breakfast.

  I sit cross legged, sipping from the holy drink and shoveling cookies in my mouth like I haven’t ate in days. Excellent choice for breakfast, Linden. Really cornered all the major necessities for survival. Because I’m a fucking genius, I get the brilliant idea to dip my Oreo into my coffee. I mean, it looks like milk anyways...

  This is where Dax finds me. A scarce inch from dunking my beloved cookie and discovering the eighth wonder of the world, when I’m rudely interrupted.

  “Don’t you dare,” he shuffles into the kitchen, sleepy-eyed and hair a mess. He looks downright lickable. His abs are on perfect display, the colorful art on his arm glinting in the early sunlight. I blink, how long have I been sitting here, gobbling down Oreos? The half-eaten package tells me it’s been more than a few minutes. Definitely gonna need a torture session with Lex to burn off all these calories. My mission averted, I drop my legs and let Dax wedge between them. He snuggles against me, taking that deep breath he always does. Once he’s gotten a proper good morning kiss, he deftly swipes up my cookies and stashes them back in the cabinet.

  “Let me make you some actual food.” He drops a kiss to my forehead and moves away to start pulling out pots and pans. I watch him work, the muscles along his back flexing with his movements. It’s been quiet for a while when he suddenly speaks, making me jump from the sudden noise penetrating the silence.

  “What’s up with the door to the gym, Linny?” Dax asks, keeping his back to me. The random question throws m
e for a minute, but I shouldn’t be surprised that my mate is so observant. He probably picked up on my aversion to that screech the second it happened and it’s likely been a constant thought in the back of his mind since. He doesn’t push me to answer right away, instead continuing to cook and allowing me time to form a response.

  “The warehouse at Pack Ames,” I start, my voice subdued. “The door made this god-awful noise when it scraped across the concrete floor. That’s how we knew someone was coming and something bad was about to happen.” I exhale loudly, more relieved than I thought I’d be to talk about my time there. Dax nods, still facing away from me as he plates the bacon he just finished cooking. I climb down, finding the cabinet with plates pretty easily. Dax turns off the stove and finally faces me. He sits the dishes aside and pulls me in for a hug.

  “I know we haven’t gone into specifics about those five days, Linny, but I want you to know that you can always talk to me about how you’re feeling. Even if you just want to scream or cry. Please don’t hold it in, though. Promise me,” he tilts my head up, those green eyes boring into me.

  “I promise,” I whisper, placing a kiss to his chin. That heart stopping smiles spreads across his face, making my knees weak. Before I can contemplate swiping breakfast off the counter and having my way with him, the front door flies open, causing me to jump away as if I’ve already been caught the act of my X-rated daydream.

  “Lindy!” LT stomps his way through the house, clearly annoyed. Dax rolls his eyes and grabs a couple more plates since we clearly have company. “Uncle D, where is my soulmate?” his tiny growl makes me smile.

  “Calm down, you little terror,” Chev huffs, the two of them finally spotting us in the kitchen.