Finding Us (Pack Bardot Book 3)

by M. K. Harper

  “Carder’s going to take me to see your father, and then I’m going to head home. I think I’ll need the quiet and some time alone afterwards.” She pats my hand and moves to stand. I follow and wrap my arms around her. I wish I could take it all away. That I could make this easier for her, but I know that isn’t possible. We’ll just have to trudge through and hope we can move on once all’s said and done. Carder nods at me from the doorway and I release Mom so that she can join him.

  “Love you, Inds. I’ll see you soon.” She smacks a kiss on my forehead and walks out. Chevy comes up beside me, throwing an arm around me.

  “You. Me. Kevin Bacon. Whatcha say?” He waggles his eyebrows.

  “Tremors?” I scrunch my nose in confusion. Chev blanches.

  “Uh, no. Footloose, you freak.” He’s giving me that look again like he’s pondering what planet I came from, so I pinch his nipple. Because playground fights taught me some things. I’ve seen some shit.

  “Ow, you twat.” Chev slaps my hand away and scowls at me. Dax strides into the living room, Caulder tossed over his shoulder, cursing up a storm. Thank goodness Beatrix left to go to town or that boy would be auctioning off toys to pay his swear jar tab.

  “Since the two of you seem to have plans, I’m gonna take this little turd to the house. I think I’ll make him scrub toilets and hand wash all my underwear as penance.” LT blanches.

  “Lindy,” Caulder gulps. “My dear, sweet soulmate. Please don’t let him take me!” he whisper yells. Dax turns and sprints away before I can even consider such a thing, calling out an ‘I love you’ as he pulls the front door closed. I laugh, shaking my head at the two of them. Since it’s already late afternoon and nearing dinner time, I head for the kitchen to see what we can throw together. Spotting some ground beef in the fridge, I decide on burgers. Chev hops up on the island, his legs swinging.

  “What can I do?” he asks.

  “Take this and divide it into even patties.” I pass him the meat and start pulling out some seasoning and a frying pan. When I’m done, I turn to check on Chevy and nearly peel over at what I’m seeing. He has the food scale out, his tongue peeking out in concentration as he carefully weighs each patty.

  “It’s a ground up cow, Chev, not cocaine,” I jab. He glares at me, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

  “You said even, Lin. Say what you mean, and mean what you say,” he grumbles.

  “You’ve been around Beatrix too long,” I snort. Chevy laughs, not denying it. He probably just realized what he said and how true that is.

  “Yeah, but she’s been nice enough to let me stay,” he says quietly, the mood shifting to something a bit more somber.

  “You know you’re always welcome to stay with me and Dax,” I nudge my shoulder against his.

  “I know,” Chev smiles at me, looking so much more carefree than he did when I first met him, even with the sudden heaviness. “Your mom also offered up your old room at her place. Gotta admit, it kinda feels nice to have all these offers on the table. Makes me feel wanted for once in my life. I might just bounce around for a while,” he shrugs, but I can see how much it really does mean to him that we all enjoy having him around. I hope he knows, really knows, that he’ll never be a burden to us. Maybe an occasional annoyance, but never a burden.

  “What about you, you little sex kitten…” I groan, surprised it took him this long to bring it up. “How was the D? His Russell the One-Eyed Muscle? His Baloney Pony? His cooch noodle? The...,” My eyes widen in disbelief as the slew of dick metaphors continue to pour out of him, just on the ready, like a tap of hedonism. Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be Thy name. I throw up a couple of prayers before we’re both struck by lightning. I will not be taken out by association.

  “And Finn?” I shout over him before his tangent can go on any longer. “What’s going on with the two of you?” Chev’s eyes glaze over for a minute, his attention fully averted. I glance at him once more, but quickly look away. I think if I make too big of a deal about it, he’ll shut down. As long as we’re aren’t discussing Dax’s dangly bits, I have no problem waiting him out. I’m halfway through cooking the burgers before he finally answers.

  “I honestly don’t know,” he sighs. “When I asked Mrs. B to hook me up with someone who likes matching parts, it was a joke. Wishful thinking maybe, but I never thought it’d actually happen. We click. Really fucking well. Some days I think he feels something more for me than lust, and others I’m second guessing the entire relationship. He’s hot and cold, so as much as I wish I could give you a solid answer I can’t, because I don’t even have one.” Chev sounds sad and angry, and I can’t say I blame him. I don’t know that I’ll ever understand the rhyme or reason to this mate thing. It feels unfair, like your free will is being stripped from you. That these wolves, myself included, are never really free to choose the person they want to be with. My mom and dad being a prime example.

  But then I think about Dax, how we fit together perfectly, and I can’t really be mad at the fact that we were somehow handpicked for each other. This kind of love is tangible, and I can only hope that Chev gets to experience it for himself someday, in one way or another. I’m not naive enough to believe that this sort of connection can only be achieved with Lycans. With the right person, wolf or not, it’ll be there.

  “Dax mentioned before that sometimes mate bonds can be denied, when they aren’t quite ready to settle down yet. Maybe that’s what’s happening?” I ponder more to myself than Chev. The last thing I want is to get his hopes up about something that may never happen.

  “Maybe,” he shrugs. “Or it could be that he keeps pulling away because he knows I’m not his mate.” I can see how hard that is for him to admit. I know he doesn’t want to be coddled, so I quickly change the topic.

  “Oh, by the way...my father is currently being held in the basement of the gym, with one foot in the grave,” I throw out there nonchalantly.

  “The fuck...” Chevy snaps around to face me, a look of horror etched on his face. I proceed to fill him in on all the gritty details. I speak as if I’m talking about someone else entirely, a stranger, so that I can separate myself emotionally.

  “We need a goddamn drink,” he shakes his head in disbelief when I finish the sordid tale. I plate our food as Chev grabs the ingredients to make pina coladas from the cabinet. I take over, sending him to the living room with our food so that he can get freakin’ Footloose pulled up. I start putting the rum back, thinking he’ll never know the difference when I spot something in the cabinet that gives me a wicked idea. The devil on my shoulder is throwing a party, and I can’t help the smile that creeps across my face. I snag the bottle of laxative, checking to make sure Chevy is still occupied, and quickly read the dosage instructions on the back. I take their recommendation into consideration for all of three seconds, and then double it. I mix it in his mocktail and practically cackle in delight.

  You wanted to play fuck-fuck games, Chev. So, let’s play fuck-fuck games. Your day of reckoning has arrived.

  Chapter 16

  Linden

  A full hour passes before Chevy’s stomach starts to protest, making noises that sound an awful lot like his insides are gearing up for an exorcism. He squirms around, and I do my best to hide my grin. It only takes a few more gurgles before he’s up and sprinting to the bathroom. I stand, following along at a much slower pace, sipping my fruity drink as if I don’t have a care in the world. When I reach the door, I can hear groans and other unmentionable sounds.

  “Everything okay in there?” I ask sweetly, propped against the doorframe.

  “I think I have food poisoning,” he whines.

  “Huh. Funny that you’d have it, but not me,” I toss out there, letting him piece together what that might mean. He’s completely quiet for several seconds, digesting my words.

  “What,” groan, “did you,” groan, “do?!” Chevy demands. I hum in satisfaction.

  “Happy pushing, Chev.” I throw hi
s own words back at him and skip my happy ass out the front door, his curses following me the whole way.

  When I walk into our house, I’m greeted with my two guys passed out on the couch, Dax’s hand barely tucked into the front of his jeans. The sight is so boyish it makes my heart skip a beat. Juice boxes and pizza lunchables are scattered on the coffee table, so many that it’s obvious the grown one of the two was an active participant as well. I shake my head, and start cleaning up their mess. Dax’s eyes flutter open when I brush my hand through his hair.

  “Hey, baby,” he smiles sleepily at me. “Did you have fun?”

  “Yeah,” I whisper. “Not sure the same can be said for Chev.” He lifts an eyebrow but doesn’t ask for an explanation. Dax stretches, his arms going behind his head, causing his shirt to lift just enough for me to catch a glimpse of his beautifully tanned skin. I lick my lips without much thought, catching a smirk from him out of the corner of my eye. He hops up, scooping Caulder into his arms and carries him to his room. I watch from the door as Dax tucks him in like a burrito, swooning at the tenderness he shows our little guy. When the fuck did domestic bliss start turning me on so much? Probably always if I’m being truthful. If someone had told me a year ago that I’d attached to a man for life and eager to adopt a six-year-old, I’d have shit myself. On paper, I shouldn’t want either of those things. I should be thinking about college and parties, sampling the buffet before I choose my favorite. But something inside of me picked this - Dax, Caulder, and all it entails. The thought of going out and drinking myself stupid at some fraternity just doesn’t appeal to me. He catches me staring and that heart stopping smiles stretches across his face as he kisses Caulder’s head and walks over to me.

  Dax and I brush our teeth and change into sleep clothes silently. The way his eyes track my every move makes my cheeks heat and my blood thrum. We crawl into bed and he pulls me close, inhaling my scent. Not so long ago, I was full of nerves from every touch he gave, unsure of myself and what to do with all those new emotions he was eliciting. Dax has always been a balm, calming me by just being near. But I’m no longer second guessing everything. We’ve settled into this new chapter of us rather seamlessly. The rest of the world might be in chaos, but him and I are content in our bubble. With the feel of Dax’s even breaths against my neck, I drift to sleep.

  ~~~

  I come awake before my eyes open, keenly aware that we aren’t alone. I keep them closed as I process that knowledge, trying to decide who would be stupid enough to come into our home, much less our room, when I realize that it’s just Lex. Whether I come to that conclusion from some new sense I’ve grown, or because she’s the only weirdo I know who likes to watch people sleep, who’s to say. I just know that it’s the tiny creep who has taken up residence in my personal space. I crack one eye, and sure as shit, there’s Lex. Inhaling a goddamn banana, cheeks full and that creepy ass smile on her face. Dax’s back is exposed, his briefs peeking out from the covers, which makes me possessive and pissed that she’s seeing him in that state. I glare at her, my eyes burning uncomfortably from the force of it. Lex’s mouth drops open, half chewed banana mush staring back at me and ensuring I skip breakfast.

  “Uh, I’ll meet you at the gym?” she asks, which that in itself is odd, considering I doubt Lex has ever asked anyone to do anything. She orders, like a dictator lording of their people. She backs out, eyes on me as she goes. O-fucking-kaayy. Her weirdness knows no bounds. I climb out of bed, staring at it longingly as I head for the bathroom to brush my teeth. My morning breath is bad enough today that even I don’t wanna be subjected to it. Tastes like I ate ass for dinner. I gargle and spit, then throw on some gym clothes, not bothering to check if anything matches. I can smell coffee brewing as I enter the kitchen. One point to Lex. At least the girl knows how to sweeten me up. I’m munching on a granola bar when I hear a scratching noise. My first thought is: mouse. Which would suck. It’d be a real shame to have to burn the place down when I haven’t gotten a proper chance to enjoy it yet.

  I grab the broom, tiptoeing around the kitchen like I’m Kim Possible on a top-secret mission, when I finally hear it again. I spin around, staring at the back sliding door that leads to the deck. Whatever’s making that noise, it’s not inside the house. Which is good, but also bad. I should probably yell for Dax, knowing I tend to attract trouble, but I’m sick of feeling like a goddamn damsel. With every ounce of bravado I have, I sling the door open, broom raised for attack and a war cry *thankfully* lodged in my throat and come face-to-face with a...kitten? The dirty little thing stares back at me with big, terrified eyes. It’s basically skin and bones and trembling half to death.

  “Awww,” my lip pokes out as I drop the broom, no longer feeling threatened. I hesitantly reach for the little love and let it brush along my fingers before scooping him up. He - I lift its body up to check the naughty bits, and yep...boy - curls against my chest and starts purring almost immediately. I’m at a crossroads. I don’t know how Dax will feel about taking in a stray, but I can’t leave the tiny guy out there to fend for himself. I’ve also never had a pet before, controlling father and all, but I did always want one. It’s like the universe has hand delivered me an apology for force feeding me shit sandwiches the past month, and who am I to deny such a gift? What to do, what to do. I scan my surroundings, trying to come up with a solution for the time being. The laundry room door sits open, a welcome invitation if I do say so. I quickly grab some blankets from the hall closet and set up a makeshift bed for him. Pulling two bowls from the cabinet, I fill one with water and the other with a can of tuna I find in the pantry. Yuck. Once I have everything situated, I scratch his head and promise to be back soon. With any luck, he’ll stay quiet and Dax will be none the wiser.

  When I reach the gym, I tense as I go to open the door, already knowing the screech it makes will take me back to a time and place I’d much rather forget. But, surprisingly, no noise comes. My brows furrow in confusion, but then it hits me. Dax. Of course, he probably had it taken care of the second I told him about it. I make a mental note to repay him with sexual favors. When I enter the gym, several of the Pack Ames women are there. I stop short, uncertain of what I’m walking into. Daria might’ve said her peace and she may be cool with me, but I won’t assume she speaks for the whole group. Lex smiles, and for once it actually comes across a bit reassuring. Still creepy, but it’s progress. When I reach them, Lex claps her hands and gets everyone’s attention.

  “Okay, folks. Welcome to how-to-beat-ass 101.” I snort. It can’t be helped. Apparently, my brain has turned into a sixteen-year-old boy. Lex glares at me, but it’s not as scary as it used to be. I stick my tongue out at her, smiling as she rolls her eyes and drones on about offensive and defensive maneuvers. All the stuff I’ve already learned but she’s recapping for our new recruits. The door opens and slams shut a few minutes later, Chev’s outline illuminated by the sun for a split second. I watch, biting my lip, as he walks over with a slight waddle. The look in his eyes tells me that he’s one hundred percent plotting my death, and it won’t be painless.

  “My butthole burns, you bitch,” he growls quietly, clearly not wanting everyone else to hear that gold nugget of information. I lose it, laughing my ass off.

  “Hardy-fucking-har, Lin. When my ass recovers from the trauma, you’d better sleep with one eye open.” I’m crying, tears streaming down my face as I try to reel it in.

  “Yo, puddin’ pop!” Lex yells for me. “Wanna show these ladies some of your ninja moves?” She smirks at me. I’m never gonna live that shit down. I agree and move to the center of the mats where Lex is standing. The first couple of times, I make mistakes I usually wouldn’t, messing up my takedowns and fumbling through blocks. Having an audience has put me on edge, but even more so with who the audience is. I’m hyper aware of all the eyes on us, stealing my focus from where it should be. When I hit the mat again with a grunt, Lex looks annoyed.

  “Come on, sugar tits. I know you can do bet
ter than that.” Her eyes glint with mischief. I know what she’s doing, and it does work to an extent, but I’m still not performing like I typically do.

  “Dax sure was looking fine this morning,” Lex states, her tone bland and uninterested, but someone failed to tell that to my brain. Or whatever it is that’s made me a raging, jealous bitch as of late. I narrow my eyes, silently planning my attack. “Like a snack.” Lex licks her lips, and I see red. My focus is singular. She wants what’s yours, take her out. I charge forward, all pretense of training thrown out the window. Lex stumbles back but rights herself as my hand reaches for her throat. Doing some legit ninja moves, she grabs my wrist at the last second and spins us so that my back hits the wall and she has me pinned.

  “Easy,” Lex speaks quietly. My breaths are ragged and my vision hyper focused. What the hell just happened?

  “What the fuck, Lex?!” I croak, my voice sounding strangled.

  “Just testing a theory,” she replies, more to herself than me.

  “Would that be the theory of how fast we can turn Linden into a murderous lunatic?” I ask incredulously.

  “Something like that,” Lex smirks. She lets me go, giving me her back as she faces the group of wide-eyed women and a freaked-out Chevy. She prattles on, filling them in on when to meet back here as I try to get my psycho back in check. And here I thought Lex was the only one of us with one of those. Chevy steps closer but does so warily.

  “Your eyes just did that freaky thing again,” he whisper shouts. I shake my head in the negative. No, no they did not. Absolutely nothing going on here out of the ordinary. If you tell a lie enough times, you can even make yourself believe it, right? That’s what I’m going with. I take a few more calming breaths before pushing away from the wall.

  “I’m gonna go downstairs. I need to check on things,” I don’t elaborate. Both Chev and Lex know what I’m referring to.

  “Is that a good idea?” Chevy looks worried, but I wave him off.