The Juggling Act

by Carol Maloney Scott

  “Well, I’m still dating Patrick, and I don’t think a long distance relationship would work.”

  She’s been dating Patrick for two years, and it’s just like my sister to worry about that asshole instead of herself. Patrick is Catholic. Not “raised Catholic, but not practicing,” like Claire. Patrick is what Claire refers to as a rabid Catholic. He follows the Pope’s laws to the letter and I don’t see how my sister thinks she could make it work with him long-term. He also wears pink shorts…and that I just can’t wrap my head around.

  I reply, “Alright, but our door is open. We have plenty of space. Tatiana has the third floor room, and we have two other bedrooms on the second floor and a spare in the basement. It could be fun. If you get let go in the summer, you could come here and stay with us for a while and check out the local job market. There’s lots to do in Richmond in the summer.”

  She agrees to think about it, but I know she has no intention of leaving Patrick and DC.

  I get up, shower and munch on a little of the now cold food Tatiana delivered. I hope she’s wearing clothes by now.

  I go downstairs and find them in the playroom.

  “Hey, little buddy.” Aidan toddles over to me and throws himself into my arms. I kiss his head and pick him up. “Tatiana, you can take a break if you want. I’m going to play with Aidan for a little while before I get to work.”

  She smiles and leaves, after asking me if I need anything. I want to say, yes—peace and quiet. Fully clothed employees.

  Aidan grabs his box of cars and awkwardly hands them to me, dropping them all over the floor. For the next half an hour we play with cars on the track, making ‘vroom vroom’ noises and crashing. Crashing especially cracks Aidan up.

  My phone rings again and I set Aidan in front of his shape sorter. That puts him in an instant trance as he tries to match the blocks into the right holes.

  I answer my phone without looking at the display. I am off my game because that’s often a bad move. The seductive greeting on the other end confirms my assertion.

  “Hi, Diamond. What’s up? I was just getting ready to start my work day.”

  She whines and says she was hoping she and Ruby could come over for a play date. I tell her I can ask Tatiana, but I don’t have time to hang out. This causes her to suddenly remember a pressing appointment.

  “Maybe we can stop by later, after you get your work done.”

  I groan inwardly, knowing that ‘later’ may coincide with Claire’s homecoming. I don’t need her any more pissed off than she will be, once she sees her e-mail.

  Hopefully her first day back to work is jam-packed and I still have time to be the one to break the news. I should have done it yesterday, but she was irritated about the Christmas tree. I can’t put out one fire before another one ignites.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Claire

  “I don’t think he’ll be jealous. He doesn’t care with all he has going on.”

  On the drive home I discuss my upcoming trip with Rebecca. She’s back to being level headed and stable, now that she’s quit her job, and she and Steve have settled into their own domestic bliss.

  “Don’t be so sure. I thought Steve wasn’t jealous of Luke, but it was just an act.” Rebecca’s extremely hot ex came back into the picture last year, and shook up her already fragile relationship with her widower boyfriend, Steve. Luckily they worked it out and Steve proposed. Luke is now dating Violet, my wedding planner.

  “We’re both angry all the time. Between his laziness around the house, and the line of women who want my husband, I’m about to go insane. And now I’m going on a trip alone with Justin.”

  “Both of you will always have temptations, unless you hide under your bed. The trick is to communicate. I think you should go away for a weekend together after you get back from this trip. You have plenty of babysitters. You need to reconnect.”

  Rebecca’s right. I’ll bring up a weekend getaway tonight if it will help soften the blow of my business trip. After all, I am the one with a real job, and he can’t expect I’ll never have to travel for work.

  Rebecca and I chat a bit about her art and plans for another gallery show.

  “I would love to see if Colleen could arrange a show for you in DC.”

  “Yeah, that would be awesome. I could use a little break from this house, too. Bella Donna never sent me on any exotic business trips with young hunky men.”

  As a former cougar, Rebecca would surely have enjoyed that company perk.

  “I’m not even going to go there, but why do you want to get away? I thought everything was great with you and Steve now.” I swear, do I know anyone with a stable relationship? Yes, my parents. Mike and Jane. Yep, that’s about it.

  “Things aren’t bad. It’s just…well, you know how it is here. Things are better since we got engaged in the summer, but Steve is still dragging his feet on getting rid of Noreen’s stuff. There are still tons of pictures on the walls.” The memory of Steve’s late wife, Noreen, has been a subject of contention between Steve and Rebecca, but I thought they had this all sorted out.

  “Is Megan still there? I thought she was a good influence on him.”

  Megan is Steve’s stepdaughter, who came to live with them last year. Rebecca was worried that Noreen’s daughter would hate her, but they have actually formed a nice relationship.

  “Yes, but she has her own drama. She’s at the community college now, and her boyfriend Dylan is doing a semester abroad at an art college in France, so he’s out of the picture. For the moment anyway. So now she’s been tagging along with Steve to the pub for trivia night.”

  “Why is that bad? Wait, she can’t get into a bar.”

  “The pub is really just a restaurant with a bar in it. Anyone can get in, they just can’t drink, obviously. The problem isn’t the pub, it’s the bartender. I went with them last week since I hadn’t seen the people there in a while. And I noticed right away that Megan is flirting with Brian like crazy.”

  “How old is he?”

  “I’m not sure, but I would say at least twenty-five. He is a very good-looking guy, so I get that she would have a crush on him. What worries me is that he gives her a lot of attention. He’s a good guy, and I don’t think he would do anything improper, but you never know.”

  “Well, she is over eighteen. What does Steve say?”

  “Seriously? Steve is the original ‘head in the sand’ guy. He avoids problems until they are literally down his throat. And we still haven’t set a wedding date, but frankly with the state of the house after all this time, I don’t even care.”

  “What is with all of these men and the avoidance of anything important? Do they teach them this in a special class in school that we don’t know about? Like ‘how to hide things from your wife?’ Or ‘unless it’s bleeding or on fire, keep watching the game?’ That’s how it’s beginning to feel.”

  Rebecca laughs and starts coughing. “We really need to make a point to see each other more often. I miss your humor and valuable insight.”

  “I’m almost home. I’ll talk to you soon. We need to get together with our clueless men after I get back from my trip.”

  “Sounds good. Oh, and speaking of clueless, Brandon also has not approved the cover art for his book.”

  Even though Rebecca quit her HR job at Bella Donna, she was hired back on a freelance basis to design book covers, once her remarkable art talent was revealed.

  I grit my teeth. “He is so frustrating. I don’t know what to argue about first. I know it’s because he’s distracted with the band. But that’s a whole other story. Let’s try to do lunch later this week.”

  She agrees and wishes me luck with my mess.

  I toss my phone in my purse and pull into my neighborhood. I take deep cleansing breaths and turn onto our street. The cul-de-sac is quiet and dark, except for the light on my front porch.

  I squint to make out the figures. Of course, Diamond and Ruby seem to be saying goodbye to Brandon and
Aidan. If he didn’t have so many ‘play dates,’ he could get his work done during the day, and not be up half the night.

  I bite my tongue as I turn into our driveway. I decide to put the car in the garage. That will give Diamond time to go home before I have to see her. I don’t want to take out my frustrations on her. Her intentions are probably completely innocent and I’m making too much of it. I do that once in a while.

  I enter the house through the garage, which connects to the basement. The music area looks set up for rehearsal, but that’s fine. I like hearing the band practice, and it always puts Brandon in a good mood.

  I walk up the basement steps and arrive in the kitchen. With her back to me, Tatiana calls out, “Baby food ready.”

  Startled by my presence, she jumps. “Oh, Claire, I don’t see you. I get food for baby.”

  I pause as I take in Tatiana’s fashion choice. Do women dress like this in Russia? I need to make a mental note to ask Ron in casual conversation if his wife dresses like a hooker. In the dead of winter.

  “That’s great. Whew, it’s hot in here.”

  I check the thermostat in the hall and Brandon says, “You sure you’re not just having a hot flash?” He’s holding Aidan, who reaches out for me. I take him and kiss his face and tickle him.

  I peer at Brandon as Aidan hugs me tight. “No, I think someone else must be menopausal.” I roll my eyes towards the kitchen.

  “What? What do you mean? I didn’t notice.”

  Now I roll my eyes at him and say, “Seriously? You didn’t notice a woman of her size and stature wearing a tank top and short shorts in January? Without a bra?”

  I put Aidan down and he pulls on my arm, presumably to show me something in his play room.

  “Okay, Honey, Mommy needs to go upstairs and change first. Tatiana has your food. Yum, yum.”

  He giggles and runs to the kitchen, where Tatiana grabs him to wrangle him into his high chair.

  “Claire, we need to talk.” Brandon is at the bottom on the staircase wearing a serious expression.

  “Yeah, I have something to talk about, too. Come upstairs with me.”

  He follows me to our bedroom, and closes the door behind us. I lay on the bed and stretch.

  “I’m exhausted.” I sit up abruptly and blurt out, “Are you sure you aren’t keeping the heat turned up to encourage Tatiana to put on a show for you?” I say this half seriously. I am hoping he doesn’t get which half.

  “Claire, stop it already with the jealousy bullshit. I suppose you want to hammer me about Diamond being here, too. She wasn’t here long and I just talked to her a few minutes before they left. I was very busy today.”

  I reach out to him and pull him to the bed. “Come here. I’m sure you were.”

  He lays down next to me and I wrap him in a full body hug, the kind that feels like we’re both part of the same pretzel.

  “So what’s your news?” He pulls back and raises an eyebrow.

  I sit up and rub my hands together. “Well, Pam announced a little business trip today.”

  “Oh, yeah. You’re going?” Brandon sits up and rubs my leg.

  “Yep, and it’s pretty soon. Like in two weeks.”

  Brandon smiles, but his eyes look alarmed. “That’s soon, huh? But it’s fine. I’ll be fine here. We have help, right?”

  “And I’m sure my mother would be willing—”

  “Exactly, your mother.” He breathes out slowly and returns to the unconvincing smile. “So where are you going?”

  “Key West. It’s a writer’s conference.”

  Brandon nods and says, “Well, that makes sense that they want you to go. Is anyone else going? Gina?”

  “No. Gina’s not going. But they also have a software part of the conference.” I pause and bite my lip. “Justin’s going, too.”

  The smile fades into a maniacal grin. “Justin, huh? Wow, you and Justin in a romantic, tropical paradise. Wow.”

  I reach out and try to speak, but Brandon jumps up, “No, I think that’s great.”

  “You’re not upset? Because you know there is absolutely nothing between us. That was a long—”

  “Time ago. Absolutely. I know that, Claire. I’m not the jealous type. And it’s business. It’ll be good for your career. So what is it, like a couple of days?”

  “A week.”

  “A week. Great. That’ll be a nice break for you.” He jumps up and says, “Okay, Honey, the guys and Zoe will be here soon. We’re having a practice.” He backs out of the room and I remember he had something to tell me.

  “What did you want to talk about?” I gaze at him as he tries to worm his way out the door.

  “Oh, it was nothing. I just wanted to get you alone for a few minutes. We’ll pick up here later. Okay?”

  He comes back over and gives me one of those kisses that used to make me forget my own name, but now just makes me suspicious.

  “Brandon?” I search his eyes for the old spark but come up empty.

  “Yes?” He narrows his eyes.

  I drop my hands to my sides and sigh. “Maybe we should say no to the new baby. The birth mother deserves to find a couple who can commit right now. She decided so late in her pregnancy that she wanted to give the baby up for adoption. That also makes me leery, by the way.” I pause and bite my lower lip. “But I just think with my work schedule and your looming book deadline and the band—”

  “Claire, stop.” He pulls me into a hug. “I agree. We have a lot on our plates and we don’t need another baby. Not yet. Maybe you could put a diaper on Duncan.”

  He pulls back and smiles, looking at me hopefully for a similar reaction.

  I stammer, trying to find my words. Looking down at the floor, I grin weakly and reply, “I would love to have another baby now, but we can’t be selfish.” I glance up into my husband’s clear blue eyes and breathe deeply. “Our second baby will come when the time is right. I’m grateful for what we have now.”

  Brandon kisses me and squeezes my hand. “I’ll be downstairs if you need me.”

  He leaves the room and I open my closet to find something to change into. I might as well put on a bikini since it’s tropical in this house.

  There is something he isn’t telling me.

  Brandon

  “She’s riding my ass all the time, and now she’s going to Key West with that tall, blond jerk. I can’t believe she is going on a trip with Justin. What the fuck?”

  “Wow, man that’s harsh. Our virgin ears.” Max laughs and opens another beer before picking up his sticks.

  “Shut up, and I am trying to curb my swearing with a kid in the house who’ll be talking soon.” Max is such a Neanderthal. “And okay, I drive a mother fucking minivan for her so she can drive her little car. How’s that?”

  “Are we gonna play or is this therapy session gonna take a while?” Max’s more monstrous and caveman-like brother, Rob, is the lead guitarist. With a shaved head, more tattoos than Max, and bigger muscles, the girls love him and the guys don’t want to piss him off. Rob looks like he’s served time, but he’s a nice guy. Not nice as in ‘okay to date my sister’ nice, but ‘probably will stop before killing a guy in a bar fight’ nice.

  “Guys, Brandon needs to talk it out. You’re all so insensitive. I bet Jon gets it. He’s a married man. And Max, I’m sure you have some Bianca stories to tell. You guys are all in the same boat.” Zoe loves giving the guys a hard time.

  Jon chimes in. “Well. Brandon and I are married. Max is just shacking up, and I have it worse than all of you. Try having a two-year-old and a pregnant wife. Cassie is hormonal and raging.”

  “Yeah, well Claire is menopausal. No one can top that at our age.”

  They all nod their heads in agreement.

  “Hey, we feel for ya, buddy. Bianca rides my ass, too. I work hard all day, and I play with my kid.” Max is proud of his fatherhood, even though he acts like a hardass about it. Max and Bianca’s son, Mick, is thirteen months old and apparently Max sits
him on his lap to bang on the drums with Daddy every night.

  “Is he an expert on the drums yet?” Jon asks.

  “No, but he’s a prodigy.”

  Jon, Max and I all go on to trade amazing kid stories, and Rob looks like he’s going to throw up.

  “Okay, if you ladies are done trading baby stories, can we play now? Any second one of you is going to start telling a childbirth story or something about how often the kid shits.”

  Zoe laughs, and Jon says, “Rob, did you know that Cassie was in labor for forty-two hours with Owen, and when I cut the cord there was so much blood—”

  Rob throws down his guitar and storms off. It’s no better upstairs, so he’ll be back shortly. Although I think Claire went to Jane’s, so maybe Rob and Tatiana will hit it off. Except now we can’t practice.

  Zoe sighs. “I’ll go get him. He’s such a big, bald baby.”

  Claire

  “You’re seriously going to Key West with Justin?” Jane’s eyes are huge. She’s lost some weight lately and she looks fantastic, even though her stay-at-home mom wardrobe of knit shorts and a t-shirt is in full force. “That’s so glamorous and romantic. Except for the being married, and not to him, part.”

  She snuggles into her stuffy sofa. The heat is on so low in this house that we are sitting on the couch with blankets. Jane is sipping hot chocolate.

  “Yep, it would be awesome if I were going with my husband. But honestly, I don’t even know if I would want to go with him.”

  “Are things really that bad?” Jane furrows her brow and pouts.

  “I don’t know. They’re not good. Maybe some time away will be good for us. We both have so much going on, and I feel like we’re not on the same page anymore.”

  “I know exactly what you mean. Mike and I have been married for twelve years, together for fifteen. You guys need to get the spark back.”