The Juggling Act

by Carol Maloney Scott

She sighs in what I hope is defeat. It’s for her own good. This girl has so many irrational fears and no one helps her to overcome them! I heard that she fell out of a kayak last year in four feet of water and thought she was drowning. I don’t get what Brandon is doing. Or not doing. And never mind her parents. Jeez.

  “I can’t do it. Yes, I know the songs but I will pass out. Or throw up. And Stevie starts the songs so…I can’t.”

  Now she looks like she’s going to cry. Maybe I’m pushing her too hard. I put my hand on her shoulder.

  “Hey, I just want you to have fun and not be afraid. If you really don’t want to do it I won’t try to force you. But here’s what I think you should do. Go to the ladies’ room, or out in the back hall, and listen to the songs on your phone. Or go back to the inn and sing them in your room.”

  “That’s crazy. You want me to leave?”

  “It’s the best idea. I’ll watch you walk across the street until you’re safely inside. Text me when you’re coming back and if you feel confident enough to do it, I’ll put the song request in. If not, I won’t mention it again.” I search her face for a sign I’m getting through. “Deal?”

  She hops off the bar stool. “Fine, if that’s what it takes to stop this nonsense, I’ll do it.”

  I follow Claire to the door, and as promised, I watch her walk to the inn and punch in the access code. I smile thinking of her doing her solo performance in her room. I wouldn’t try to convince her if I didn’t think she could do it. She REALLY did sound like Stevie Nicks.

  She’s a little annoyed with me, but for the next few days she’s kind of stuck with me, and I plan on breaking down lots of Claire’s barriers to enjoyment while we’re in Key West. If I don’t do it, I don’t think anyone else will.

  Brandon

  “You should really let me rub some of the tension out of your shoulders.”

  Diamond positions herself behind me on the living room couch. I put Aidan in his bed an hour ago and little Ruby is passed out on the love seat in the family room.

  I lean forward instinctively and let her rub my neck and shoulders. I know this is a bad idea, but Jesus it’s been a bad few days. Really, a bad few weeks. Come to think of it, has it been months? I groan with pleasure and then remember again how this is a bad idea.

  “Diamond, thanks, but I’m good. You should really think about taking Ruby home to sleep in her own—”

  I quickly turn around and gesture with my hands, knocking over the pole lamp next to the couch. Shit, thank God that’s not breakable. The loud crash startles us and invites the wiener dog patrol to leave their post guarding Ruby in the family room, and come barreling in here, barking and causing a huge ruckus.

  I know it’s ridiculous, but I swear Dixie becomes even angrier when she sees Diamond straddled behind me. Is Claire’s dog somehow a secret informant? Now I know I’m losing it. As I motion to grab these two furry lunatics, I lean forward quickly, which topples Diamond forward and onto the floor. The dogs are all over her.

  Duncan looks confused, as if he’s not sure if this is play time or not. His queen, Dixie, seems to be communicating otherwise, as she growls at Diamond with the hair sticking up on the scruff of her neck. I hope she doesn’t bite her.

  I get my bearings and help Diamond up, as I grab the snapping Mommy’s girl.

  “Dixie, what the fuck is wrong with you? Diamond is here all the time!” The little dog is breathing heavy and looks at me as if to say, ‘And that’s the problem, Daddy Dickhead!’

  Great, now I am talking for the dog in my head, the same way Claire does in her squeaky Dixie voice.

  Diamond jumps up as I release the hound. She looks down in fear, which makes Dixie stand a little taller, with her chest puffed out. I need a drink. Or five.

  “I’m so sorry about that.” I finally pick the lamp up and try to put it back where it belongs. The shade is damaged. Great. And it’s some fancy, fucking thing from one of those high price shops in the west end.

  “That’s okay. Dogs are very territorial about their owners. I was probably sitting too close to you for comfort.” She giggles and widens her eyes, which are already as big as golf balls, only much prettier.

  “And of course the lamp scared them. They probably forgot who I was and thought I was an intruder.” She bends down to Dixie’s level and bravely puts her hand out to pet her. A low growl escapes Dixie’s throat. Jeez, she’s like a little mini Cujo.

  I run my fingers through my hair and secretly wish the massage had gone on longer. Maybe I should go see Julie, that massage therapist Claire raves about. “Yeah, and with Mommy gone she’s acting weirder than usual.”

  “Right, now you get to hear her Lamaze breathing all night.” Diamond launches into an imitation of the noises I shared with her yesterday.

  I laugh to lighten the tension. Dixie is never protective of me. Claire, always. Aidan, absolutely. Is it really possible that dogs are good judges of character? I look down at the killer guard dog and now she’s showing Diamond her belly and getting pet. No, she’s just a little dope afraid of a lamp falling.

  “Mama!” Finally, one of the kids is awake with all of this racket.

  “I better bring her home.” Diamond disappears into the family room and I lead the dogs into the kitchen for their nighttime meal. That will occupy them for a few minutes.

  Diamond reappears, holding a sleepy blond tot.

  “Bye, Ruby.” I touch her little hand and she snuggles closer to Mommy. Everyone just loves Mommy. I’m glad Aidan slept through all of that. Even though he isn’t my biological son, he takes after me in the solid sleeping department.

  “Thanks for dinner. It was great.” I smile nervously and usher my guests out the door.

  “Good night, Brandon.” She turns so that Ruby isn’t facing me and whispers, “Don’t work too hard. There’s a lot of tension in those big shoulders. Just let me know if you need any more help relaxing.”

  And with that, they’re off. I watch them walk across the street and safely enter the house. I close the door and lean up against it. I can’t believe I am thinking this, but I am so glad Tatiana will be back tomorrow.

  I stand up straight and roll my shoulders, rubbing my own neck. I say out loud, “I sure could use some help relaxing.”

  Dixie comes sauntering down the hall towards the front door, eyeing me with that accusatory wiener dog stare, which is very similar to my wife’s. They do say dogs begin to resemble their owners. Or is it the other way around? I stare her down and realize how crazy this is. She’s a freaking wiener dog!

  I lock the door and turn around to face the big brown orbs. “What are you looking at?”

  Claire

  “Alright, I’ll do it. Sign us up. Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around. That’s it. No negotiation. We leave immediately after. Possibly with a bag over my head.” I sigh and do some deep breathing. My hands are shaking. “Well, let’s go. Why aren’t you moving?”

  Justin smiles and squeezes my arm, leaning in to whisper, “I put it in right after you left. We’re up next.” He points to the scrolling names under the karaoke monitor announcing the order of the singers.

  I punch his arm. “What the hell? How did you know I would say yes? Or pick that song?”

  “Well. I knew once you could practice alone you would realize how good you are. Plus you’ve had a good amount of alcohol. And I am very persuasive.”

  I stare daggers at him.

  “And that song is easier than Leather and Lace, so I thought it would be a good first choice.” He finishes his beer. “Another drink?” He gestures to the bar and I roll my eyes as if to say, ‘What do you think?’

  I gulp my cocktail and hope if freezes my brain enough that I won’t be able to think about my impending humiliation. I don’t even know what to do with the microphone. Should I leave it in the stand? Should I hold it? Knock myself out with it and get to leave before I sing? Thank God I wore flat shoes. There’s a big step up onto the stage. I glance around and ther
e are twice as many people here now than there was an hour ago.

  “Okay, that was awesome. Let’s give it up for Brandy. Great job, sweetie. Now, we have Justin and Claire up next.”

  I choke on my drink and Justin pats my back. Great, now I’ll sound like a tortured rodent.

  Justin takes my hand and I hop off the barstool. Some people are smiling at me as we approach the stage. I guess it isn’t a very hostile crowd. And some of the singers were terrible, and no one laughed at them or threw anything at the stage. Maybe I am making too much of this. Once in a while I have the tendency to do that.

  Justin squeezes my hand and I wait for the first notes of our song. I know how to follow the scrolling lyrics. Plus I know this song by heart. But what if I open my mouth and the words don’t come—”

  “Baby, you’ll come knockin’…”

  Oh my God, I’m singing. And people are smiling. They’re all drunk. Now a woman near the front is yelling her appreciation.

  Okay, Justin is doing his part now. He’s so good. This is actually fun. I can’t believe how loud and clear my voice sounds in this room. This is a short song and it will be over soon. Whew, I just have to finish up with the last few ‘stop draggin’ my heart around’ refrains and that’s it!

  “Woo hoo, you go girl,” from the guy to the right of the stage. There’s lots of applause and Justin is beaming at me. My legs feel wobbly and I feel the full effect of the fruity frozen specials.

  “Give it up for Justin and Claire. The cutest newlywed duet of the night.”

  My eyes widen and I shake my head no, but that comment only earns us more cheering. Is every couple in this town on their honeymoon? And where are all the people from the publishing conference? I haven’t seen a single one out since we got here. I bet they’re all in their hotel beds or reading manuscripts.

  Wait, did Justin squeeze my hand when the DJ called us newlyweds?

  As we leave the stage area, I hear, “Claire, if it doesn’t work out with him, you can marry me!” I turn and see that this came from one of the lesbian ladies at the front table. Her partner is cracking up. Either because they are practicing some kind of gay Mormon sister wife thing, or the look on my face is priceless.

  “She’s taken, ladies. And gentlemen.”

  I drag Justin out of the bar and he grabs me in a big hug. “Claire, you were so good!”

  He pulls back and holds my arms. “Wasn’t it fun? Did you feel the rush? Your face is so pink, like you just ran a mile.”

  This moment is surreal. I am in a strange town where lesbians want to marry me and I sing in front of a room full of people and everyone thinks I am married to a beautiful young man...

  Wait, I am married to a beautiful young man. A small, slow smile creeps across my face. Brandon will be so impressed when I tell him about this.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Claire

  “So did you tell your hubby all about your singing debut last night? I bet he was proud. Maybe you guys could do a duet with his band?”

  Justin is awfully bright-eyed for eight o’clock, as I rush around putting on my jewelry and locating the shoes that match this dress. But I can’t get annoyed with him—he brought me a bagel and juice from the breakfast bar. I have heard it’s very nice, but I haven’t seen it yet.

  “I did tell him this morning. We spoke very briefly, though.”

  I called Brandon as soon as I woke up, too excited to contain my news. He isn’t an early riser, so I should have known he would be grumpy and unfocused. But I was crushed when all he said was, “Karaoke, huh? Claire, that’s cute, but you know that’s not real singing, right? It’s nothing like singing with a live band.”

  I told him that they also have live band karaoke at some of the bars in Richmond. Justin goes all the time. He laughed and questioned what serious band would spend their time on karaoke.

  I asked about Aidan and the dogs. He was very vague about his activities and said that he was busy with the band and getting his manuscript turned in to Gina.

  “She’s riding my ass pretty badly, so I need to work hard this week. When are you coming home again?”

  I wanted to say, ‘Well, Bella Donna paid you a sizable advance to write this book, Idiot.’

  But I didn’t think that would help our relationship. It’s on life support as it is. “I’ll be home Friday evening. You don’t need to pick me up. The company will provide transportation.”

  I expected him to insist on picking me up with Aidan, but all he said was, “Hey, I’m pretty beat. I need to catch some more sleep before I start my day.” I heard a yawn and stretching noises. “Claire, I do miss you. You know that, right?”

  I told him I missed him, too and hung up. Do I miss him?

  Justin has been watching me run around the room like a whirling dervish. “I’m just curious. Has Brandon ever asked you to sing with him?”

  I struggle with my earring back and reply, “No, why would he? I told you that I never sing in front of anyone. I made that clear very early in our relationship.”

  Justin rubs his chin and opens his mouth to say something, then closes it.

  I put my hands on my hips. “What?”

  “Nothing. It’s just that you told me the same thing. If I was a singer in a band, I would definitely explore the possibility of my girlfriend or wife singing with me. Especially if it was just a local cover band. If you sucked, then I guess I would let it go.”

  He laughs then grows more serious again. “But I would want to try. Especially since he did bring a girl singer into the band, so clearly they want the flexibility of a woman on vocals. What’s her name?”

  “Zoe.”

  “Right, so he brought Zoe in. And I’m sure she’s great, but people like husband and wife singing couples.” He gathers up the breakfast trash on a tray and opens my door.

  I walk over to the door to hold it open for him. “Thanks for bringing breakfast.”

  “You’re welcome.” He pauses in the doorway. “You know, I’m not trying to start trouble. And what do I know about bands or married couples anyway? I just thought you were great and should try a few new things. Speaking of that, later on…”

  I raise my eyebrows in anticipation of my newest Justin planned adventure. “What now? Am I getting shot out of a canon?”

  He grins and says, “No, much better. We’re going sailing. A sunset cruise. Just two other couples. I know you don’t want to snorkel or any of that, so I am going to fit that in tomorrow around the conference by myself. I just thought you’d like a nice cruise.”

  My shoulders relax and I smile. “Okay, that sounds nice. I’ve been on boats and I like it. Oh, I do need to get some Dramamine, though. Remind me to hit the pharmacy if you see me later. Better yet, I’ll just stop on my way to my meeting with Greta.”

  “See, I told you I wouldn’t plan anything scary. This is a fun trip. Now, I need to get to an appointment with a supplier. I think this guy has what we need. I sure hope so, because I really just want to play the rest of the week.”

  He finally vacates the doorway and starts walking towards the patio to drop off the dishes. “Oh and Claire, good luck with Greta. No pressure, she knows you can’t move to Philly. She just wants to chat.” He smiles and he’s gone.

  Sailing. I can totally handle that. One little pill and my stomach is like cast iron.

  Brandon

  “Now he has her singing!”

  I look up from my desk as Bianca plops down on the basement couch. She brought Mick by to see Aidan again. Fortunately Tatiana is back. Well, actually her shenanigans have ramped up a notch, but I am NOT sharing that with big mouth Bianca.

  She moves a pile of notebooks that are falling on her and replies, “I think that’s great. Claire needs to come out of her shell. She’s too repressed and afraid of everything. Now of course when I met her mother, I could see why.”

  I slump in my chair and put my face in my hands.

  “What’s the matter?”

 
I look up and lean back into my office chair. “Claire’s mother is coming here tomorrow. Supposedly to see Aidan, but I know it’s to check up on me. I don’t know why she’s waited so long. Claire will be back on Friday night, but I guess she’s giving me a few days to get things good and fucked up before she pounces.”

  “You are so freaking melodramatic. Jeez. I met Claire’s mom at the wedding and when we went wedding dress shopping with Claire. She is a little overbearing, but she’s not that bad. And as long as you have nothing to hide, you should be fine.” She raises her eyebrows and bites her lip.

  “Oh, shut up. You know all I do is work and play with my son.”

  Her silence is maddening.

  “Why aren’t you saying anything? What do I do?”

  “I don’t know, but all I do know is that Max acts just like this when he is doing something wrong.” She folds her arms across her chest in a challenge.

  “Bianca, this has been a stressful week. Claire’s gone, Tatiana is…well, never mind. And Aidan has constant play dates…” I stop when I see Bianca’s face change again. “WHAT? He does. And don’t you start in on Diamond.”

  “Who else is being mean to Miss Pouty Face?”

  “Why do all of you women hate her so much?”

  “Who hates her?”

  ‘Well, Claire for sure. Now you. Zoe…”

  “I just hope she stays away when Mrs. McDonald is here tomorrow. She will squash her like a sparkly, blond bug.” She bursts into a fit of giggles. “I’m sorry, I just thought about how she has bug eyes.” She tries to stifle her laughter when she sees my unamused glare, but can’t control herself.

  I just shake my head. Women are driving me fucking crazy. At least the guys are coming over tonight to balance out this bullshit. My son and Duncan, the wiener dog, don’t have enough testosterone to help me out.

  “I’m sorry.” She wipes her heavily blacked out eyes. “I need to get to a lunch job. Tatiana says she’s fine with Mick until dinner time. Is that okay?”

  “Yes, it’s perfect. I can get something accomplished.”

  “Hey, I know you guys are going through a rough patch.”