Out of the Rain

by V. C. Andrews

  “Ahh,” Amos Saddlebrook said.

  Ava’s eyes continued to sparkle with suspicion. Daddy wore a look of relief, and Karen smiled with self-satisfaction. She had one-upped her grandfather. There was just slightly more of a crimson tint in his cheeks.

  “Perhaps you can show us how it’s done, then, Saffron,” he said.

  He nodded at Miss Becky. She took the bottle and poured the red wine into my glass, leaving enough room for what I knew was the swirling of it. Do I do it all as perfectly as Mazy showed me or pretend to stumble in my memory? A simple thing like this could expose all our lies.

  My fingers were trembling when I grasped the glass but grew firmer when I swirled it, lifted it to look through the wine in the light, took a whiff, and tasted it.

  “It needs a few moments,” I said.

  Amos Saddlebrook’s face burst with delight and surprise. He turned to Daddy, who, for the first time, appeared as proud as any father would be. Karen looked like she was literally in pain. It was obvious she was hoping I would fall on my face.

  “A few moments for what?” she asked, grimacing. “I want a sip already.”

  “You’ve seen this before, Karen,” her grandfather said. “But obviously you didn’t pay attention. Good red wine has to breathe, or decant, for a while. It brings out the flavor. Thank you, Saffron,” he said, smiling warmly at me. “That was very nicely done.”

  I glanced at Ava. She stared at me, but not with the appreciation I anticipated. Instead, she was looking at me with even deeper suspicion. My heart beat faster.

  “I’m amazed at the details you recall from what had to be quite a difficult life,” she said.

  Daddy’s smile faded. Another small crisis had poked up its gleeful face. My lips trembled for a moment, and then I shrugged.

  “Most of us don’t realize how much we remember,” I said as nonchalantly as I could. “How much sits untouched in our minds.”

  Ava tilted her head a bit and leaned forward. “How do you mean?”

  I looked at Amos Saddlebrook. His eyes were sparkling with delight and anticipation.

  I shrugged again. “Something you see triggers the image or images of things you thought you forgot or didn’t realize were that impressive. Surely that’s happened to you, Aunt Ava.”

  Amos Saddlebrook burst into a laugh. Daddy’s smile radiated on his face. He looked so pleased. Ava simply nodded and sat back. No one spoke for a long moment.

  “Can we start to eat already?” Karen asked.

  It broke the tension. Amos Saddlebrook smiled and began. He and Daddy started to talk politics. I noticed how careful Daddy was when it came even to a slight disagreement. Ava concentrated more on chiding Karen for slumping and eating too quickly.

  When our main dish of steak and a lobster tail was served, Amos Saddlebrook announced his plan to have a holiday dinner in the ballroom.

  “Can I invite some friends?” Karen instantly asked. It was another opportunity to wield her power over some of her class-mates.

  “You can discuss that with your mother,” her grandfather said. Karen groaned. “What?” he asked, catching the look in Ava’s eyes. “Something I don’t know about?”

  “You’ll probably hear about it soon,” Ava said, holding her gaze on Karen. “Your granddaughter was part of a raucous party at the Tobys’. And parties are off the table for the foreseeable future.”

  “I thought we weren’t to bring that up!” Karen cried. “Besides, Grandpa’s holiday ball is not exactly another party, right, Grandpa?”

  “Why don’t you begin by telling me what occurred,” Amos Saddlebrook said. He looked at Karen, but his eyes shifted to Ava.

  “I’m being blamed for something I had no control over,” Karen whined, and threw down her napkin, folded her arms petulantly across her chest, and sat back.

  “We always have control of our own destiny,” Ava said. “If our friends are doing something unpleasant, we step away from them.”

  “What if a meteor hits you in the head? You’re not in control of that.”

  “In that case, you should have paid attention to the weather report,” Ava said.

  “Something untoward occurred at one of your parties, Karen?” Amos Saddlebrook asked. He looked at Daddy. “Why wasn’t I told earlier? I don’t like being the last one to hear about something involving my family.”

  “Mother didn’t want to tell you!” Karen blurted, obviously hoping that would overshadow her involvement in the Toby party.

  Everyone was silent for a long moment. Amos Saddlebrook dabbed his lips with his napkin and sat forward, his eyes suddenly focused solely on me.

  “Were you there, too, Saffron?” he asked.

  “Yes, sir,” I said.

  “Was it a meteor?”

  “It was for me,” I said.

  Karen turned with daggers in her eyes.

  Her grandfather nodded with a look no one could mistake for anything but admiration.

  “Karen, you don’t usually keep things from me.”

  Ava grunted like someone fighting a laugh.

  He gazed at her and then back at Karen. “Well?”

  I kept my eyes down and waited.

  “Some boys got Margaret Toby’s brother sick drunk at a party at her house.”

  “Sid Toby’s house?”

  “Yes,” Ava said.

  Amos looked at her, then glanced at Daddy and then at Karen. “And you? Did you get drunk, too, Karen?”

  “Not really,” she said. She glanced at me, and I looked away.

  “I see. Well, it’s good I was told tonight. I’m sure I’ll hear about it at the club tomorrow. Sid Toby has a loose mouth for a bank president.” He sat up. “Let’s not let this ruin the dinner,” he said. “We’ll sort it out. Afterward, we’ll have dessert in the study, where your parents have something more important to discuss with us all,” he added, turning to Karen.

  When she frowned, her eyebrows nearly touched.

  I looked at Daddy, who gave me a small nod. The tension at the table was as thick as a fog, and suddenly, the tapping of silverware and the lifting of glasses and putting them back on the table were a discordant symphony that sounded louder than the drumbeat of my heart.

  Watching everyone lost in their thoughts convinced me that the lies in this family went deeper than I had imagined. It was as if they had their own sharply penetrating roots and were moving quickly in my direction. Soon I’d be an integral part of the web of deception that held the Saddlebrooks and Daddy together. I really had so little family happiness to use as a touchstone, but I couldn’t help wondering if this was true for every family, wondering if their family histories and the individual needs and ambitions of each member required as much betrayal as it did loyalty. Could I have been far better off being only with my Umbrella Lady? Should I not have longed so much to find my father and a family life? I mourned more for Mazy. In what had become her make-believe magic cottage, I was happier fantasizing. Eventually, there were no fogs at our dinners; there was only love.

  Who really loved another here?

  After we had all taken our seats in the study and before any dessert was served, Daddy announced his and Ava’s proposal. He was looking mostly at Karen.

  “Adopt?” she asked, like someone who wasn’t sure of the meaning of the word.

  “For all intents and purposes, her living with us all is practically the same thing,” Daddy said.

  “You mean her name will be Anders, too, now?” Karen asked.

  The words tormented my lips, danced on my tongue. I was so close to blurting it out: That is my name. But I closed my eyes to shut down the urge and pressed my lips together hard.

  “Aren’t you pleased?” Amos Saddlebrook asked. “You’ll really have a sister as well as a little brother.”

  I could see the turmoil in her face. Yes, having a sister sounded good, but now everything I was given and everything I wanted would be coming to me as an Anders, and although it was only through some lega
l document, Saddlebrook was something I could lay claim to as well as she. I could invite friends here, have parties here. In short, I was going to be too equal to her. How could she bestow anything on me and expect my worshipping gratitude?

  And what about Daddy? After I was adopted, I could sit up front, and she would sit in the back. When she looked across the room at him, I could read it in her eyes. Will he love me the way he loves her? It was as if she was a princess who had to shift somewhat to the right to make room for another on the throne.

  And yet she couldn’t show any of this. Her grandfather, who I thought already saw how self-centered she could be, would condemn her. Nevertheless, she was surely thinking that he, too, could favor me more and very soon. No longer would she be showing me how to behave and with condescension granting me access to her friends, but I could very well do that to her.

  Oddly, perhaps, I felt sorry for her. This total stranger had moved into her home and into her family with seeming lightning speed and had begun to take over part of her special world. Already too often, her mother was pointing to this new girl as someone to emulate. She had a new shadow cast over hers. But until this moment, she still had something much more important than anything the new girl had brought with her behavior, intelligence, and good looks. She had the Saddlebrook name, with only an infant brother to share it and all the importance it brought.

  Now what?

  “Is there a ceremony or something? Maybe in the ballroom?” Karen asked, still sounding a little stunned.

  Amos Saddlebrook laughed and looked at Daddy. “That’s my granddaughter… always thinking of a party,” he said.

  “Well, something fun should happen,” Karen insisted. She sat back in a pout.

  “Actually,” her grandfather said, “it’s not a bad idea. We should get Saffron’s ideas about it, too, don’t you think?”

  “How can she have any ideas? She really doesn’t know anyone, except one boy a little, and she went to her first party ever at the Tobys’.”

  “Well, that’s unfortunate, apparently, isn’t it?” Amos Saddlebrook said. “To base your idea of a party on that?”

  “It wasn’t that bad,” Karen muttered.

  No one spoke for a moment.

  Amos Saddlebrook looked at his watch and nodded at Miss Becky. She and her assistant began to clear away the dishes.

  “If it is all right with everyone, especially Saffron, I’d like to have a conversation with her in my office. There’s no reason for you all to wait. I’ll have Tyson bring her home.”

  “Why?” Ava demanded instantly. Both she and Daddy looked quite surprised.

  “She’s on the verge of becoming part of the Saddlebrook family. I think she should be aware of what that entails.”

  “And you don’t think we can do that?”

  “Why shouldn’t she get it all firsthand?” Amos responded.

  Ava turned to Daddy. “Did you know about this?”

  He shrugged, lifting his arms. He looked at Amos Saddlebrook, who was fixed on him in a way more intently than I had yet seen. It was clear to me he was just about daring him to oppose.

  “I see nothing wrong with your father wanting to get to know his adopted granddaughter and letting her get to know him,” Daddy said.

  “And all the baggage,” Ava muttered. “Don’t forget that.”

  “How come I never had a meeting like this with you, Grandpa?” Karen demanded.

  “You didn’t have a choice like Saffron does, Karen. You were born into it.”

  She looked at me. “Choice? You mean, she could choose not to be adopted?”

  “We’ll see,” he said.

  “I was supposed to show the rest of the estate to her,” she whined.

  “You’ll be back together many, many times,” he said. “Is this all right with you, Saffron?”

  I looked at Daddy. For the first time since the night I had arrived and he had set eyes on me, his confidence was gone. He actually looked somewhat frightened. Should I claim to be too tired? Ava was staring at me with new curiosity. Why would I oppose it?

  “I think she’s still a little frightened of you, Daddy,” Ava said, her eyes fixed on me as she spoke. “Maybe it’s better if she gets to know you more before you have one of your famous tête-à-têtes.”

  “There’s no fast way to get to know me, and Saffron doesn’t look as frightened as you’re suggesting. Saffron? We won’t be that long.”

  “I’m not frightened,” I said. “I look forward to hearing more about the Saddlebrooks.”

  He smiled.

  “Well, are you going to talk about a party for her?” Karen asked.

  “Perhaps,” he said.

  “I should help with the planning.”

  “I imagine you will,” he said.

  Karen settled into some satisfaction.

  Amos Saddlebrook stood up. Daddy rose. Ava seemed to be glaring at me as if she suspected I might be trying to dislodge her inheritance or something.

  She rose. “Let’s go, Karen. I’m sure you haven’t finished your homework.”

  Karen smiled at me to telegraph her secret about the plan she and her friends were concocting. She stood up, and we all walked out of the dining room.

  “I hope you all enjoyed dinner,” Amos Saddlebrook said.

  “It was wonderful,” Daddy said. “Our thanks to Tommy.”

  Amos Saddlebrook nodded. I waited to see if Ava would hug her father or even say good night. She barely managed to utter that.

  “I’ll have her home very soon,” her father said, putting his hand on my shoulder.

  “She does have school tomorrow,” Ava reminded him.

  Daddy looked at me, his eyes full of warnings and caution. I wished we could have had a private moment, but that was impossible.

  As I stood there watching the three of them leave, I felt as if I was dangling off a cliff.

  “This way, my dear,” Amos Saddlebrook said, turning to the left. “I realize everything is moving very quickly for you. Let’s take a half hour or so to help you catch your breath. My daughter has this intensity about everything that can sometimes overwhelm everyone involved. Patience was never a valuable asset to her and rarely is to a determined woman. Or man,” he quickly added. “But measuring twice and cutting once has always worked for me.”

  He looked at me for my reaction. I said nothing.

  “I suspect that might be true for you. You don’t appear to be as hyper as Karen and other girls her age. I’m fascinated with how someone with your background developed such calm maturity.”

  I could think of no answer that wouldn’t involve the truth. He smiled.

  As we continued to walk through the hallway, he described some of the art, some statues, and the custom work in the walls and ceilings. He explained who each of the ancestors in the portraits was and paused at the one of his father and mother. He spoke softly but with great pride, pointing out who had bought what as well. Just before his office door was the portrait of him and his wife. There was also a cabinet with old papers, documents, awards. He explained some of them.

  “When a family has a history like the Saddlebrooks’, it’s important to protect and reconfirm it. Great families build great countries,” he said, smiling. He paused, thought a moment, and added, “I wouldn’t consider an adopted granddaughter any less important than one born into Saddlebrook, especially one who is capable of making us prouder, but we’re not exactly a club. All of our family’s rules of behavior are unwritten but well understood.”

  He indicated the office entrance and waited. Karen wasn’t exaggerating about it. It was very big, with one of the largest desks I had ever seen. As he explained, it was custom-made. I wouldn’t have seen it anywhere else. The walls had stacks of books that reached the ceiling with sliding ladders, and on the left was a long conference table with at least twelve or so chairs. There was a large television set on the wall, and it had been placed so he could look at it from behind his desk. In front of the desk w
ere two large leather chairs, and on the immediate right were a settee, a table, and two more leather chairs.

  Perhaps the most stunning part of the office was its floor, a slate that appeared to have gold threads running through each panel, glittering under the light.

  “Let’s sit here,” he said, indicating the settee. “More comfort-able.”

  I sat, and he took one of the leather chairs. He smiled warmly.

  “Don’t look so nervous, my dear. With your uncle proposing such an important decision, not only for you but for the Saddlebrook family, I thought we should quickly get to know each other better. That’s all this is.” He leaned forward with a soft smile. “I can’t depend on my daughter to do it all as well. She needs more time, age, like good wine. True for your uncle as well.”

  He laughed, but I was afraid to mock Ava. Nevertheless, I breathed what I hoped wasn’t an obvious sigh of relief. He was calling Daddy my uncle. Perhaps, then, he really didn’t know the truth.

  His smile flew off his lips when he sat back. “I’m one of those cold realists about life. Lying is almost a prerequisite for being in business. But I draw the line on that with family. Families live and breathe based on their honesty with each other. I hope you feel the same.”

  “Yes,” I said meekly. I feared what he was leading up to now.

  “Good. Are you comfortable being part of this family at the moment, an Anders?”

  “Yes,” I said, surprised at the question.

  “They’re obviously comfortable with you, wanting to legally adopt you. You’ve already made quite the impression on my daughter and granddaughter. To be quite honest,” he continued, “I had no idea that you’d be coming here to live. Your uncle and his sister did not get along?”

  “No.”

  “Maybe that’s too kind a way to put it. Did your mother talk of him much?”

  “No,” I said.

  Under his intense and inscrutable gaze, words that enforced and compounded our great lie seemed heavier than ever on my tongue, especially after what he had just said about families. He seemed to hear me with his eyes, eyes that were reading every movement in my face. He glanced at my hands. I hadn’t realized that I was squeezing my fingers into tight fists. I opened them quickly.